Christmas Angel

Disclaimer: Saving all the pocket lint for Christmas. Owning nothing else.

Summary: Sequel to 'Spike's Angel'. You don't have to read it first but it might help.

Reviews: Yes, please. I'll put in a good word with Santa if you do. Readers rock but reviewers RULE!!!

A/N: Got inspired by all the cool Christmas stories being posted. Hope you like it.

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It was unseasonably cold in Sunnydale. Even Spike noticed the severe drop in temperature although as a vampire the cold didn't normally bother him. He made his was slowly to his crypt sipping from his freshly liberated bottle of Jack Daniels. It was one of several he'd frightened out of the liquor store clerk. He smirked as he remembered how scared the little man had been. Being able to scare humans was just about the only pleasure the blond vampire had left.

It was Christmas Eve and he was alone, quite possibly for the first time in both his lives. He'd spent Christmas with his mother every year he was human and then spent the next hundred years with Drusilla. Christmas with her had never been dull. The Christmas before last had been the final one with his dark princess and sometimes he still missed her. Alone was something Spike did not do well.

He pulled his leather duster closer to his shivering body and wondered vaguely if he should scare a little more blood from the butcher. His clothes had been fitting a little looser than normal lately. At last his crypt came into view and he let out a small sigh of relief. The last two years had been horrific for the blond vampire. Dru had dumped him for a Chaos Demon and then after she'd taken him back cheated on him with a Fungus Demon. He'd returned to Sunnyhell only to be captured by the Initiative and implanted with a chip that prevented him from hurting humans. He'd spent last Christmas tied to various chairs and bathtubs watching the Watcher and his Scoobies go through their Christmas rites.

Since then he'd fallen for the Slayer. Watched as she fell to her death saving the world. Acted as baby-sitter to a rebellious teenager. Seen Buffy resurrected by the witch and the rest of the sodding Scoobies. He'd let her use him as a punching bag among other things just so she could feel better about herself. Thinking back over the past year, he realized that his unlife royally sucked and that he'd be better off as dust.

She'd decided that Christmas wasn't a holiday she wanted to share with him. The Scoobies had resoundingly echoed that sentiment. Which was fine with him. He didn't want to be witness to all their silly Christmas celebrations, once was enough. Vampires didn't celebrate Christmas. At least not where humans could see them. Spike had never quite gotten out of the yearly spirit. It had been his guilty secret for as long as he'd been undead, shared only by Drusilla and no one believed her anyway.

He'd spent some time window-shopping downtown but since he didn't have money to buy gifts with, the activity only depressed him further. He'd decided long ago that Christmas gifts shouldn't be stolen. He'd wandered past the Slayer's house several nights ago and watched from the shadows across the street as Dawn directed the Whelp in placing twinkling colored lights around the roof. Hoping that the wanker would fall from the ladder, he was disappointed when the human's balance held.

Not for the first time, Spike wished with all his unbeating heart that Joyce were still alive. He missed her so much. Losing her had been almost like losing his own mother. She had visited him a few weeks ago when he'd been close to dusting himself. But he'd also been quite drunk at the time and had convinced himself since that it had been a delusion.

He let himself into his lonely crypt and made his way straight to the lower level so he could drink to excess and pass out. Hopefully it was a pattern he would be able to repeat as necessary until after New Years. He saluted his empty bed and upended the bottle, swallowing a large portion of the alcohol. He sat rather fuzzily on the side of the bed and kicked off his well-worn boots. He realized almost too late that he'd forgotten to remove his beloved duster. He stood up to rectify the situation, wobbling as he struggled with it. He celebrated his victory over the stubborn leather coat with another long drag from the rapidly emptying bottle.

Spike finally crawled into his bed and covered up with the red and black satin comforter. His head swam from the alcohol he'd consumed, swallowing the largest bottle of JD sold in just under an hour. He'd discovered the easiest way to oblivion was to consume as much as he could in as little time as possible.

His last thought before the room swam out of sight was voiced drunkenly into the empty room.

"I wish I'd never been born." His dark blue eyes fluttered closed as soon as the last syllable left his lips.

A bright light glowed in the corner of the room. The blonde who'd appeared in the light drifted silently over to the unconscious vampire. Her hazel eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she surveyed his too thin form. The empty alcohol bottle slid from his slack fingers and clattered to the floor. He didn't budge. She's seen him sliding downhill again shortly after her last visit. Her daughter had really done a number on this vampire's fragile heart. He'd convinced himself that her last visit was a delusion so she felt she had her work cut out for her again. His last utterance broke her heart.

She sat gently on the side of the bed, fairly certain that he wasn't going to wake up right away. Her warm slender fingers brushed softly across his broad forehead, smoothing the frown that seemed to be present whenever he slept. She suddenly realized how to convince him he was needed.

Spike looked around. He couldn't believe what he saw. It was London. He recognized the house as the one he'd grown up in. Moving closer, he peeked in a window. His mother sat inside sobbing softly into an embroidered handkerchief. A man he recognized as his father came up behind his wife and put his hand comfortingly on her shoulder. Tears sparked in his deep blue eyes as his mother continued to cry. What could have broken her heart so completely he wondered? He knew it had to be somewhere around the time he'd been born as his father had cut out shortly before his first birthday. The man had made sporadic visits until his death right after Williams eleventh birthday. The bitterness that little William had felt had never waned.

A hand landed lightly on Spike's right shoulder. He jumped as his entire attention had been on the obviously grieving couple in the house. Looking to his right, he was stunned to see Joyce Summers standing next to him.

"What's going on? What's wrong with Mum?" He demanded.

"Come on. They can't see us." She said, taking his arm. They drifted through the wall, completely wigging out the curious vampire.

"Anne, dear, don't take on so. We can try again. The doctor said there is no reason why you couldn't carry a baby to term. This little one was just not meant to be." Spike's father was saying.

"But I so wanted this one. Did you see? He was so tiny. He never even took his first breath. Oh, my poor tiny William, I wanted you so badly. I'm sorry you will never know life, my small one." Spike's mother sobbed.

Spike reeled in shock. Looking at Joyce, he grabbed her arm. "What's she blathering about? I didn't die. I lived. She raised me practically on her own when that wanker of a father left us."

Joyce shook her blonde head. "No, William. You wished you'd never been born. I'm showing you what the world would be like if you hadn't. Come on, there's so much to see."

Before the bewildered blond could utter another word, the scene changed. Flashes of his unlife appeared before his startled eyes, his unlife without him in it. Drusilla stayed with Angel and Darla. Dru had gotten cursed along with Angel and the resulting torment brought on by her soul caused her to wander out into the sun. She was dust before Angel could do anything. The loss of his Dru tore hole through Spike's heart. Time sped up as the years passed. Familiar events forever altered by the absence of one vampire.

Soon they were standing in Sunnydale. Spike recognized the mansion as the one on Crawford Street that Angelus used. He knew this, Angel and Dru were going to raise Alcatha, but that couldn't be right. Dru was dust. They went into the room the big ugly rock rested waiting for Angelus to pull the sword and open the portal to hell. They saw the dark vampire torturing Giles. Without Spike there to stop him, the torture proved fatal for the Watcher. The loss of her father figure enraged the Slayer to the point that she was able to send Angelus through the portal, closing it. Spike noticed that the soul that Willow returned to his Sire did not make an appearance in this timeline.

Scenes flashed by, Buffy fighting, slaying but without the fire that Spike had admired from the first time he'd seen her. Dawn appeared and the fight with Glory replayed itself before Spike's horrified eyes. Xander was the one captured by the Hellgod. The torture she inflicted on the male Scooby proving fatal to him. The tower was built and Buffy was fighting Glory. But the fight was not as fierce as Spike remembered it being. It was as if she knew she couldn't win. Olaf's hammer weakened the skanky Hellgod to the point that she morphed back into Ben. Buffy then turned her back on the fallen man. Without Giles to smother the host human, the task of forever ridding the world of Glory fell to Willow. She ran a sword through the helpless human's heart. Running up the stairs, the Slayer was too late. The ritual had begun. Spike watched helplessly as the blood flowed out of his Niblet, opening the portal. They watched as Buffy took her swan dive off the platform, landing in a broken heap amid the rubble.

Tears flowed down Spike's thin face as he watched Dawn falter and fall on her way down the stairs of the rickety tower. They watched silently as her broken body was carried by ambulance to the hospital. They hovered as she healed and went to live with her father.

Willow went off the deep end from killing a human, not even Tara could pull her out of her despair. The final straw was seeing Dawn alone in an unfamiliar bedroom, a bottle of pills in one hand and a bottle of alcohol in another.

Spike turned to Joyce and grasped her arm. "Please make it stop. I take it back. I don't want this reality. Please, Mum take me back." His distress was so great, he never even noticed that he called her 'Mum'. That was how he thought of her, she reminded him so much of his own mother.

She enfolded her favorite vampire in her loving arms. "Shhhh. It's okay. You have only to wake up and everything will be all right."

Spike bolted upright in his bed. Panting needlessly, he ran a shaking hand over his face, feeling the tears still on his thin cheeks. Looking around his bedroom, he jumped when he noticed Joyce sitting on the bed next to him. She put her arms around him again. He snuggled into her comforting embrace. Shaking badly, he backed up a little and looked into her kindly face.

"What just happened here?" He asked, his voice unsteady.

She ran a hand down his face, wiping away stray tears. "You wished that you'd never been born. I decided to show you what would have happened to everyone you care about if that wish had come true."

"It was a dream then?" He sighed in relief.

"Not exactly, Sweetie. It was more like an altered reality. The world as it would be without you in it." She told him gently. "I for one am very happy you decided to stay in the world you were born in. I know it's been hard. I wish I could make it better for you. I just want you to realize that I'm not a delusion. I'm always with you."

He moved back into her embrace, hungry for some comforting contact. "Thank you. I'm sorry I made the wish. I'll never do it again."

She held him tightly for a moment before letting him go. "It's Christmas and I believe you have some gifts to deliver." She said with a smile.

He looked puzzled. "But I didn't buy any presents. I didn't have any money. Christmas presents shouldn't be stolen. It's just not… right." He said, almost embarrassed about his very unvampire-like attitude.

Joyce laughed. "Let's just say they're from both of us. No one has to know that but us though."

Spike smiled. "Thanks, Joyce."

"I kind of liked 'Mum'." She said with a twinkle in her eyes.

He inclined his head. "Thanks, Mum." He said shyly.

She kissed his forehead softly. "Now go. Play Santa."

He bounded out of the bed and searched for his boots. Coming up with them, he opened his mouth to tell her something but she was already gone. He slipped into his boots and shrugged into his duster. He climbed the ladder to the upper level and found, to his delight, two plastic bags filled with brightly wrapped packages.

Spike tented his duster over his head to avoid the deadly rays of the southern California sun that never seemed to go away. Only to discover it was unnecessary. The sky was heavily overcast, letting him walk all the way to Buffy's house in complete safety. To his surprise, he was welcomed into the Christmas celebrations with few reservations. It turned out to be the best Christmas he'd ever spent.

Finis