Mary-Sues Run Amok By Saeka

A/N: I was trying to imagine the Mary Sue vs Inui. Rofl. I guess this is for the type of Mary-Sue whose life is absolutely miserable and overdramatic, no one appreciates her until miraculously a character learns to love her...blablabla...

Chapter Two: Mary-Sues vs Inui

::ding ding::

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Ii data..."

Inui scribbled into his ever-present notebook while observing Osakada Tomoka beat the crap out of another Mary-Sue that had wandered into the Prince of Tennis world.

"Mary-Sues seem to be some sort of strange breed of monster,"he mumbled while jotting down quick notes, "it can be safe to say that many people hate 'Mary-Sues'...this can be useful if we manage to somehow plant a few of these girls in other school tennis teams as weapons..."

The door suddenly slammed open and an extremely beautiful girl stepped in daintily.

"Inui, my love, it's me, Mayu," she bit her light pink lower lip and sniffled loudly, "the yakuza...they're after me!"

Inui mumbled some more as he neatly printed "tends to be delusional" in his notebook.

"Are you listening to me?" she squealed impatiently after a few minutes of complete silence save for Inui's pencil scratching against the paper, "The yakuza are after me! They sent me a warning slip!"

She shoved a piece of paper under his nose. Inui skimmed over it incredulously with his eyes.

"One," he stated in a matter-of-fact fashion, "the writing is written in pink sparkle pen. Two, judging by the small hearts on the i's, this isn't written by the Yakuza. Three, you signed your own name at the bottom."

"That's not important!" she cried out, perfect face burning red, "We must escape! We must run from the city! Elope! Flee!"

Inui raised an eyebrow. Mayu stomped around angrily, fuming. Tears were streaming down her overly perfect visage. Her teeth were so white that they reflected off more light than his own pair of glasses. She had probably blinded a few people with her glinting teeth too, he noted as he saw a freshman crawl past the open door clutching his eyes and screaming.

"Don't you know I'm dying, Inui?" she asked while sobbing loudly and throwing herself on the floor, "I have cancer, a brain tumour, a fever, heart problems, fainting spells, insomnia...my father beats me...my sister is dead...I'm anorexic, everyone mistreats me because I'm so much better than them...oh boohoohoo!"

Inui inched past her shaking form on the ground, hoping to be able to sneak past her and run for his life.

"Inui, I love you!" she cried out while miraculously lifting off the floor and flying into his arms.

Inui turned around sharply as soon as he saw the girl leap into the air. He almost burst into laughter when Mayu crashed ungracefully to the ground.

"No!" she shrieked angrily, "You're not doing what you're supposed to do!"

Opening Inui's laptop, she quickly navigated through the internet to...fanfiction.net!

"Read this," she said huffily while putting the laptop in his hands.

Unnoticed by anyone, Inui's eye twitched under those reflective glasses as he read an excerpt from a sloppily done and extremely out of character story.

'I luv u, Mayu' sed Inui wile he kissed da pretty gurl 'marry me' Mayu, 'I cant, Inui. I'm dying but our luv will alwayz live on' Perfect dropz of watur ran down her perfectly rozy face and perfect beautiful sparkly eyez. Her perfect fingerz wipez away da teer.

"This is..." Inui racked his brains for the right word to describe the horrific bit of writing. No word in his extended vocabulary could quite describe the utter...terror of this...one paragraph...

"Kiss me, Inui!" cried out Mayu while launching herself at the data freak again. Inui calmly placed a hand on her forehead as soon as she was close enough. Holding his arm out straight, she wasn't able to reach him but instead remained there, drooling and flailing her arms. Pinching her nose tightly, he poured down his latest concoction down her throat. To his surprise, the Mary-Sue shrieked and was reduced to ashes.

"I call it...Inui's Hyper Flaming Juice..." he said while grinning maliciously,"Kanpai!"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A/N: It sucks, I know. ::hides in a corner and cries::

Review responses

Aiko Midori: I don't mind if you decide to post the link in your livejournal. xD Maybe I can get more reviews? drool lol

Sakuyachan: eye twitch One should be careful not to write any Sakuno- bashing around HER lmao

Reader and Chrysan: I'm glad you feel the same way I do about Mary-Sues. Muahhahaha...

Thanks to beriath, Sakuyachan, Chrysan, Ale-chan, Syusuke-kun, Aiko Midori, Reader and Cinpii for reviewing!