Hello everyone!!
Just wanted to say thank you (again!!) to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter and the others. Your comments are invaluable to me so please, please keep them coming.
Here's chapter Five, I hope you like it!
Thanks again,
Kim
Watching From Above
Chapter 5
The visit to their mother's grave had been depressing. Though they both felt the need to go it only served to tire them further, both physically and emotionally. They flew home in silence, neither needing to speak and both understanding each other's need to think.
"Scott." Virgil shook his brother gently. "Scott wake up, we're home."
"Already?" The elder brother asked dozily.
"Yeah already." Virgil sighed as Scott's eyes closed again. "Come on Scott. Let's get you to bed." He pulled Scotts left arm around his own shoulder and hauled him to his feet. Exhausted as the effects of the drugs had worn off, Scott took little of his own weight leaving Virgil, equally exhausted, to struggle to keep them both standing. Gently Virgil placed a hand around Scotts waist mindful of his bruises, he tried to encourage him to move.
"Come on Scott." He coaxed. "Help me out here."
"You want a hand?" Virgil had never been so pleased to hear Johns voice.
"Please." The reply was tight.
John took Scott's others arm and mirrored Virgil wrapping it around his own shoulder. "Okay. Come on Big man. I think its time you went to bed."
"I thought you were heading back to Five." Virgil puzzled, distracted by Scott's incoherent mumblings.
"Yeah, I am. Not until later on though." John informed him.
Between them John and Virgil half carried, half dragged Scott to his own room. They removed his shoes and clothing, eventually laying him down on the bed. John watched intently as Virgil pulled a nearby blanket over his older brother gently tucking it around his sleeping form.
"You should go to bed too. Dad wanted a word but I'll tell him you are too tired." John spoke softly.
"I need to see Brains first." The conversation was hushed, not that there was any danger of waking Scott.
"Okay but after that, you should go and get some rest."
"Yeah." He hardly heard Virgils reply. He watched as his older brother gently ran his fingers through Scott's dark hair, Scott stirred. "Night Scotty." He whispered.
John frowned no one called Scott 'Scotty' anymore; it was a childhood nickname that they'd grown out of long ago.
He made a grab for Virgils arm as he went to walk out of the door. "Hey" Virgil was taken aback, John spun him round. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine." Virgil walked away in search of Brains, but both he and John knew he wasn't fine at all. He was thinking. Thinking about Scott, about what had happened, about what Jaime had said to him, about Anna. He had a lot to think about and his mind wasn't going to shut down any time soon to allow him to sleep.
Scott opened his eyes to the dim lights of his own room; he vaguely remembered John and Virgil guiding him there. Slowly, as his vision became more capable he recognised his father sat by his bed.
"Hello son, how are you feeling?" He didn't attempt to hide the concern in his voice.
"Okay. Better for being home." He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, he eased himself up into a sitting position.
"You didn't look so good when you first got home" It was a statement more than a question but Scott knew his father well enough to know he expected some sort of explanation.
"I was just tired, the medication Jaime had given me was wearing off." Scott paused; his father seemed satisfied with the explanation. "Has Virgil gone to bed?" Scott asked mindful of his quandary over what to do about his brother.
"Yes." Jeff raised his eyebrows, Scott frowned.
"Why do you say it like that?" He asked, responding to his fathers aggravated tone of voice.
"Scott, when you got in, he barely kept his eyes open long enough to go through your medication with Brains. He should never have flown Thunderbird One in that condition." Jeff sighed obviously not impressed.
"What did you say to him?" Scott asked eagerly.
"Nothing. By the time I'd got to him he was in bed." Scott could tell that didn't mean his father had any intention of letting this drop, not by a long shot.
"Good." Scott's reply brought a harsh stare from his father. "That may have been my fault." Scott admitted. "I shouldn't have pushed him to go and see mom. I really wanted to go. I needed to go, and I think he did too but I knew he was too tired. I was selfish and I'm sorry. Don't blame Virgil." It was very rare that the need ever arose for Scott to apologise to anyone, let alone their father. Jeff frowned.
"Maybe I was being a little harsh." He thought out loud.
"Did you see him at all?" Scott asked. Regaining Jeff's full attention.
"Yes. For a little while. Why?" Jeff again frowned, cocking his head to one side, a questioning eye on his son.
"Did he seem okay to you?" Scott asked slowly. "Apart from tired, I mean."
Jeff's frown seemed to deepen and spread further across his face. Usually Scott and Virgil kept themselves to them themselves, neither turning to their father for help or support but instead turning to each other. The fact that Scott was asking this question worried him a little. He knew his two eldest sons shared a bond like no other. Even when they were children it was obvious the two would grow up to be close. Lucille's death had only brought them closer still, as they formed a somewhat formidable team working to look after their younger brothers. Admittedly they'd drifted apart when they'd both left home but now they were back together again, and working together had once again brought them closer still. In the several months International Rescue had been running Jeff had been re-assured that Scott and Virgil were as strong a team as they'd ever been. That was until now...
He thought carefully before replying. "He seemed a little quiet I suppose, but I just put it down to him being tired. I only saw him for a few seconds, I told him to go to bed. When I went to talk to him, all the lights where off and I assumed he'd done just that." Scott nodded to himself. "Why do you ask?"
Scott shrugged the question off. "Just wondering."
Jeff raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You don't usually need to 'wonder' about Virgil son. I'm sure if he had a problem he'd come to you before anyone else." Jeff tried to reassure his eldest but it only further convinced Scott that what ever it was that Virgil was hiding – no one knew.
"You want to talk about it?" Jeff could see Scott debating over whether to speak or not. Normally he would have received the standard 'no, I'll talk to him' reply, but Scott seemed to hesitate.
"No, I'll talk to him, thanks though Dad." Jeff nodded, more than a little concerned by the length of time it had taken his son to come to that decision.
Puzzled, Jeff stood up "I'll leave you to get some rest."
Scott nodded. "Okay."
"Dad!" Scott called as his father headed for the door. "Has Virgil ever spoken to you about someone called Anna?" Jeff turned to look at his son.
He shook his head. "No, he used to talk a bit about Jaime but they were never anything other than very good friends. Why?"
"Doesn't matter. Thanks Dad." Scott turned over in his bed.
Jeff opened his mouth to ask who this Anna was but decided against it, not wanting to interfere he silently left the room and his eldest son to sleep. He headed through the corridors of the villa for the kitchen. Thoroughly unnerved by his discussion with Scott he needed a hot drink or he would never sleep. His mind whirled of possible scenarios as to what was going on with his two eldest boys.
He approached the kitchen, it was dark. The only light came from the corridor but he could see a figure, hunched over in one of the chairs at the table. "Virgil?" He called out cautiously. "Is that you?"
"No." The miserable reply came. "I'm in bed asleep, like you told me."
Jeff switched the lights on low; Virgil flinched at the sudden brightness.
"Son, what are you doing sitting in here with the lights off?" Jeff worried immensely at the sight of Virgil, clad only in a pair of shorts. Hunched tiredly over a cold cup of once hot chocolate, his hair was roughly stood up on end and his features where pale and tired in the dim lights.
"Thinking." Virgil pondered for a few moments. "Couldn't sleep." He explained to his father's questioning stare as he moved for a mug and some hot water to add to his own chocolate powder.
"You want another one of those?" Jeff gestured at the cold cup. Virgil looked down noticing it was no longer steaming hot for the first time, he shook his head.
"Why couldn't you sleep?" Jeff probed. "You looked exhausted when you got in, you still do."
"I guess I'm not as exhausted as I thought. My mind just won't stop working." That was what Jeff termed a 'loaded comment'. He asked the obvious question.
"What's on your mind?" He stirred his drink as he sat down at the table alongside his second eldest son, his own personal reminder of the wife he so tragically lost.
Virgil looked up to his father, obviously unsure of what to say. Jeff could see his mind wrestling with the possibility of opening up to his father. Eventually the reply came. "Every time I close my eyes I see him..." Virgil hesitated. "Flying through the air" He shook his head slowly. "I really thought he was going to die." Jeff placed a hand on his sons shoulder. "And every time I get to him and...." Virgil clenched his fists in frustration. "And I'm too late, he's dead already."
Jeff squeezed his shoulder firmly. "But you weren't too late son. Its thanks to you and Jaime that Scott is sleeping like a baby just down the hall."
Virgil let out a long breath. "I know that, I just can't stop myself from thinking 'what if?' It was so close Dad, even Jaime was starting to think we'd never get his heart going again."
Jeff sympathised with his son. In some ways it was a good thing that Virgil had been there, in the respect that he could keep Scott conscious, Scott would listen to him. In other ways it wasn't such a good thing that Virgil had been there, because whatever happened, he would take it the hardest. Jeff knew and understood that seeing Scott like that would have taken its toll. He could only imagine.
"But you did. Virgil Scott'll survive, you know he will. He's made of tough stuff, just like his father. He'll bounce back. You can't ponder over what could have been Son; you have to concentrate on what is. Scott is fine." Virgil nodded, Jeff smiled content he had reassured his son.
Little did he know he would be having this conversation again in a mere few months time. Only next time it would be with Scott.
"I'm going to bed. I think you should too." Jeff's voice was firm.
"I think I'm going to go for a swim."
Jeff frowned. "Virgil it's gone midnight."
"I know but its still warm out there. Maybe if I can really tire myself out then I'll be able to sleep."
The frown deepened. "That's not the way to go about it, Virgil."
"I know but I just need to do something. Anything."
Jeff took his cup. "Hmm, okay. G'Night son." Jeff Tracy was not a man to show a lot of emotion. Being a military man, emotion perceived as a weakness in his eyes. However as he plodded past his second born son, he gently rested his hand on his shoulder and again firmly squeezed it. He could feel the tension underneath the bare skin. No words where uttered, the gesture was enough and slowly he went off to bed, leaving Virgil to savour the rare moment.
A week or so later and Scott was recovering, his ribs were still healing but all in all, he seemed to be progressing well. Jaime had been in contact to inform them that the dead man had been identified as part of a well-known, anti-military pressure group. Scott knew she was also checking that he was keeping to his promise of rest; he had. In fact the only promise he hadn't kept was the one to himself; the one that he would talk to Virgil. Today was the day to fulfil that one too...
He nervously rapped on the wooden door, knowing his brother would be asleep. Brains had informed him of their late night discovery, he'd explained what the discovery was but Scotts mind had been in other places, as he was sure the young scientist had realised at the time. He rapped on the door again, this time firmer. He'd managed to leave it until gone 9am. Also aware that vital maintenance was to be carried on Thunderbird Two today and Virgil would not miss that.
"Virg?" He waited a few moments. "You awake yet?" He exhaled deeply before opening the door and slowly stepping into the dark room. "Can we ..." he spotted his brother sprawled across the bed, obviously asleep "...talk." He finished to himself. Looking closer at his sleeping brother he noticed Virgils head gently lolling from side to side.
"Mmm" He murmured softly, Scott got closer. He could now see the frown on Virgils face as he slept somewhat uneasily. Scott sat on the bed beside his sleeping brother; he could clearly see Virgil was enduring some sort of nightmare. "Virgil?" He gently but firmly shook him. "Virgil, Wake up!"
"Hmmm" His moved away from Scott's voice.
"Virgil!" This time he got a reply. Virgil's eyes shot open and he stared dead ahead of himself pausing to catch his breath again. Slowly his eyes met Scotts.
"You alright?" Scott asked, concerned.
"I'm fine. Really, its just a bad dream that's all." Virgils attempt to reassure his elder brother was feeble and Scott frowned harder.
"You want to talk about it?"
"No, I want to talk about what you're doing in here." Virgil raised an eyebrow at his older brother.
"I wanted to talk to you." He paused, waiting for Virgil to interrupt him, but no interruption came. He was forced to continue. "To tell you how much I appreciated you staying with me in England." Scott realised he could never fool Virgil.
"You don't have to thank me, Scott. Its nothing you wouldn't have done." He paused to study his eldest brother. Scott knew what he was doing. "So what's the real reason you're waking me up at..." He looked across at the digital alarm by his bed "...9:22"
"I don't know why I bother. You can read me like a book huh?" Scott grinned.
"I can see you're not okay. You might as well just tell me what's going on." Virgil, as he became more awake was also becoming more concerned with his brothers behaviour.
"Your right. I'm not okay."
"What's wrong?" Virgil couldn't hold the panic from his voice as he quickly sat up. Panic that something was wrong; panic that Scott would admit something was wrong.
"Nothing" Scott felt a pang of guilt for causing that sudden look in his brother's eye. "I'm fine. Its just I've been thinking a lot lately about stuff, all kinds of stuff. I got to thinking about you and me. How much I rely on you for everything."
Virgil interrupted. "Are you sure you're okay?" This kind of topic was not an easy one for Scott to discuss as Virgil well knew, it usually took several scotches to get to this stage.
"I'm fine. Just hear me out?" He paused but not long enough for Virgil to reply. "I rely on you a lot. I always have done. But over the years you've relied on me less and less. Other people lean on me, I lean on you." He paused looking up to meet Virgil's eyes. "Who do you lean on?"
Panic shot through Virgil like a drug eventually seizing control of his body, he froze. He eventually regained his composure. Jaime had said those exact words to him, the exact same sentence. That was one hell of a coincidence. Suddenly he felt angry at the prospect of his friend discussing him, his feelings, with his brother.
"Has Jaime spoken to you?" He snapped.
"No. Why?" Scott frowned. Was Virgil angry?
"No reason." The reply was short. Seeing his brother's reaction. Scott suddenly became nervous about what he was about to bring up. He felt uneasy that something was going on he didn't know about. He didn't want to open a can of worms he couldn't close and for a second he doubted himself, whether he was doing the right thing. Then it kicked in, that little voice in his head that told him of course he was doing the right thing. Virgil has never had secrets from him in the past. Had he?
There was a long pause. Before Scott spoke again. "When I was in the hospital, in England. I had this really weird, horrible dream. That there was some big secret that you were hiding from me. Silly huh?" He looked up to see Virgil looking at him dumbfounded. Scott continued looking deep into his brother's eyes, wanting answers. "It wasn't a dream was it?"
Panic regained its control of Virgil, as that look returned. It reminded Scott of a rabbit, about five seconds before its run over.
"Scott..." Virgil's tone of voice was all Scott needed to hear, he was begging him to stop without saying it or even looking at him.
"Talk to me." He interrupted. "I heard what you and Jaime where talking about, I know there's something going on."
"Scott, don't make me do this." Now he was pleading, now he was saying those words.
"I'm worried about you Virgil. Whatever it is bottling it up inside isn't going to help."
That was the final straw for Virgil. He was tired, he was annoyed, frustrated and the last thing he needed was a lecture from the brother who does exactly that. He snapped. "You have NO idea what you're talking about." His voice was low, dangerously low. "And you, of all people Scott, are hardly in a position to lecture me about bottling feelings up." He used a tone that Scott had heard few times before, Virgil rarely got angry and when he did his temper was something to be reckoned with. Scott didn't understand what was going on.
"This isn't about me." Scott replied calmly.
"Your damned right its not. Its nothing to do with you." Virgil furiously pushed away the bedclothes and went to walk out of the room.
"Its everything to do with me. I'm your brother." Virgil halted, his back still turned to Scott. "I need to know Virgil. You're scaring me."
Virgil spun around to face his brother, he didn't know where this feeling of hatred had come from, he didn't even know when. But he couldn't stop it. He didn't hate Scott; he hated the way he felt, like he was being suffocated, like he didn't have a choice. He hated the way Scott made him feel guilty for not telling him and the pressure he was mounting on his brother to come clean. The way he assumed that he had to know.
"No Scott! YOU scared ME." Virgils voice never rose, even when he was angry his replies where quick and heated but he had never been known to raise his voice to anyone. Now it began to get louder, maybe only a little but the rise was there nonetheless. He continued. "Nearly killing yourself, getting flung across the room like that. And for the sake of what? Not waiting a few seconds. I was seconds behind you! But you couldn't wait. You went wading ahead, the real man." He was sarcastic, Scott sat listening.
A part of him was hurt that Virgil felt like that, a part of him was guilty, a part of him was worried but most of him was shocked. "Do you think I'm ever going to get rid of that image burned into my brain of you? Huh? Do you?" He didn't reply, he thought it best not to knowing his brothers temper. Virgil's lips formed a small smirk, Scott thought maybe he had collected himself a bit, that his hot temper was cooling. "Listening to us talking; that was sneaky." There was almost a sense of admiration in the comment. Breathing deeply Virgil ran a hand over his tired face; visibly trying to calm himself. His attempt was fruitless, consequently the rage continued. "That's stooping to new levels Scott, even for you. You think you need to know everything that goes on in this house. Well you don't. You try muscling your way in on everyone else's business. Well, I don't want your precious opinions, Scott. I don't need your support. And when I did, you weren't there. Where were you when I needed you? Off gallivanting around with your precious buddies..."
"Now hold on a minute...." After getting over the initial shock of Virgils sudden anger, his words were starting to sink in and he'd had enough. No one spoke to Scott Tracy like that, no one.
"No! You hold on a minute Scott! You were never there when I needed you. The others? Sure they go running to you! But Virgil? Ah, no, I sort myself out. Well I did!" His tone was patronising and Scott felt the need to defend himself. Despite spending time convincing himself that Virgil would regret this when he calmed down and to remain quiet.
"Look, I don't know what's the matter with you, but you have no right to say that. It's not fair, or true, I have always been there for you just like you have for me. Always." His eyes flashed with anger.
"Not when I needed you the most. Not the night it happened."
Scott swallowed, Virgil looked away, aware of what he'd just said, of what he'd just done.
The anger in the room evaporated like emptying a balloon with a simple prick. Anger was gone leaving only tension and regrets, on both sides.
"The night what happened?" Scotts voice was clear in the silence. His eyes remained on Virgil, though his younger brother looked away, unable to meet his gaze. Too much had been said, he'd gone too far.
Scott stood and walked over to his brother gripping him firmly by the shoulders, turning him to face him. "The night what happened?" He asked again, firmer. Virgil shivered. 'What had he done?' He allowed his eyes to meet Scotts. He could see the desperation behind the blue eyes. All the fire had gone now, leaving desire for answers that Virgil wasn't willing to give and pain, pain that he had caused.
He could hardly speak; he was so stunned by his own words, unwilling to believe that this had just happened. The last time Scott and he had fought had been,..........Well, a long, long time ago.
"Oh God!" He managed. "I..."He shivered again, his voice caught in his throat. "I didn't mean to..."
Scott could see the horror in his brothers eyes, he frowned, a mixture of confusion and concern. It all seemed to hit Virgil suddenly, what had been said, what couldn't be taken back.
He hadn't meant it; he'd just exploded, not able to stop himself. Scott was his brother; they were a team, a good team. He didn't want to destroy that, was he too late? Had he done that already? He was just under so much pressure to talk. Jaime wanted him to talk, he knew Scott knew something. Had he wanted to talk? So much thinking to do. So much to decide. Scott had managed to catch him off guard despite the fact he knew the questions were coming, sooner or later. How could he say those things? Where did they come from?
He was spared any more self-loathing as a soft knock on the door signified John's entrance.
"Hey!" He said cheerily. He took in the looks on his brothers faces as Scott's arms dropped to his side. Both looked upset, their eyes looked glassy. They stood close face to face.
"Am I interrupting?" He asked hesitantly as he kicked himself for asking such an obvious question.
"Kind of." Scott's reply wasn't finished when Virgil loudly disagreed.
"No. You going down now?" John nodded. "I'll be there in a minute."
John left the room for Thunderbird Two silo, where he'd agreed to meet Brains. He knew from when Scott first got back form England something was wrong; Virgil's behaviour afterwards had only convinced him more and more. Though no-one had said anything while he was up on Thunderbird five. He pondered over the idea of approaching his father but dismissed it quickly if either of them found out he would be for it, he owed them his silence. The two eldest Tracy boys had done a lot for the others over the years. He couldn't help his worry though.
It was heightened again when Virgil had joined them for the maintenance on Thunderbird Two, he wasn't himself. Even Brains had asked if he was okay. He seemed to be in shock, his reactions were slower than normal and he made mistakes, dropped tools, and skipped dinner. All things Virgil Tracy never did. When it came to his job and his Thunderbird the artist in him rose with the engineer and it was a case of perfection or not at all. Virgil never made mistakes with anything, let alone Thunderbird Two.
John pondered over what to do. "Hey!" A figure wandered along the sand to where he was sat on a rock. "What's the matter?" It was Gordon. He perched alongside his older, blonder brother. John thought about his reply. Gordon wasn't his father; he could trust him not to act on what he was about to be told. Jeff Tracy did not know everything about his children. John sighed. "I think I walked in on Scott and Virgil arguing today."
Gordon laughed. "You're kidding. Right?"
"No." the reply came matching the expression on Johns face. "And today, Virgil was, he was just...."
"Clumsy?" John nodded. "Tin-tin said he wasn't himself. You know we can't do anything about this don't you? We can't tell Dad. He'll make it worse. And we can't do anything about it ourselves. There's a lot of crap between those two that we don't know about. Its better if we stay out of it." Gordon reasoned.
"Yeah I know. But what if they don't sort it out themselves? What if this is something big? Something they can't deal with? It's got something to do with when they went to England. That's when it all started." John assumed to himself.
"John, trust me they'll sort it out. This is Scott and Virgil we're talking about here. Since when have they ever been mad at each other?" John nodded, a little convinced though he still had his doubts.
"I can't help but think this is something serious Gords." John confided.
"If it was serious, we'd know about it. John, those two can't function without each other. What ever 'this' is, they'll have to get over it pretty quick if they want to survive around here. They need each other. You know that as well as I do. They'll be fine. Trust me, I'm an aquanaut." He grinned. John smiled, and for a second his worries were forgotten as the two of them joked together.
The darkness came as the sun set, he liked to watch it, it was beautiful. Not cool yet, but dark and warm, he relaxed into the chair by the pool, enjoying the humid air, the silence.
He had successfully avoided Scott all day without raising too much suspicion. He hadn't been able to concentrate though, made mistakes he shouldn't have. He'd fobbed off Brains' enquiry saying he was too tired. Scott would never have believed him but the blue-rimmed spectacled man just nodded and continued with his work.
He could feel him. Feel his eyes before he spoke. Before he saw the shadow from the lights in the house.
"Peace offering?" Scott held out a cup of coffee. Virgil took it, facing the floor, ashamed.
"I owe you an apology. I'm sorry I exploded like that at you this morning. I was tired." He sighed, "There's no excuse. I'm sorry, I was out of order. I didn't mean those things I said."
Scott sat on the chair alongside him, cup in hand. "Yes you did." He sighed. Virgil faced him for the first time.
"No, Scott. I didn't, you've always been there for me when I needed you. I was angry and tired and I lashed out." Virgil babbled. "And I'm sorry."
"Yeah, you lashed out but you were right. Otherwise I'd know wouldn't I? If I'd always been there then I'd know what the hells going on? Wouldn't I?" Scott wasn't angry he was being realistic, practical. Almost sad.
"I didn't let you support me, be there for me. It was my decision." Virgil's voice was stern but Scott countered again.
"No. When I left for the Air Force, I abandoned my responsibilities. I abandoned my family, I abandoned you." Scott's tone was remorseful.
"Scott you lived. You dedicated your life to us when Mom died. No one begrudges you going away to the Air Force and enjoying your time there. You regained your life when you joined up. It's not like you moved away and left us in the middle of the Sahara desert. We were all growing up Scott. It was time for all of us to move on." Virgil tried to emphasise how much no one had abandoned them, least of all Scott.
"We did it." Scott corrected. "You make it sound like I'm some kind of martyr. We did it together, when Mom died." He didn't give Virgil time to argue. "November '59" Virgil looked at him.
"What?"
"November '59, that was the last time I lied to you. You remember what happened?" he asked inquisitively.
"You told me you were on vacation, you'd actually crash landed the new TK-59."
"Yeah" Scott laughed. "Cost the Air Force millions. I nearly died, if Dad ever finds out. I'm pretty sure I will do. We made a promise that day."
"No more lies."
"No more lies." Scott paused. "And I've never lied to you since. You've never lied to me have you? You never told me the whole truth but you didn't lie. I didn't make you lie, because I never pushed it. I never asked, so you never told me. Well, I'm asking now." He looked at his younger brother. "Who's Anna? What's going on Virg?"