Hello Everyone!!

Here is Chapter Six; I hope it lives up to everyone's expectations. Many thanks yet again for the wonderful reviews. I know I've probably said this before but I can't stress enough how much I really appreciate the time you take to read and let me know what you think. So thank you, and please continue.

Thank you,

Kim

Watching From Above

Chapter 6

Scott's eyes alone, asked questions Virgil did not want to answer. He looked away, unable to face his brother, this was it. The moment he'd spent all day debating was now upon him; what was he going to do?

I can't lie to Scott, maybe Jaime was right; he deserves to know. Maybe he doesn't deserve to know, he wasn't there. But he could've been if I'd let him, he would've been. Does it matter? It was over now anyway. What was Scott going to do about it? If I don't tell him he'll only get stressed about it. I owe Scott my honesty after erupting like that this morning.

"Anna..." He began. Scott swivelled on his chair to face his brother. Virgil looked ahead not daring to look at Scott. Scott listened carefully giving Virgil his undivided attention. "Was everything to me. We met in Denver, just hit it off. It was only after we'd finished there that we became more than friends." Virgil was hesitant. He spoke slowly; he was secretly surprised at how easily the words he'd held in so long came out. He always thought he'd be prepared for the day someone found out, prepared with all the answers, but he was wrong. "She was the one Scott, I know it. I never felt like that about anyone before. It was... She was special."

Scott allowed himself to interrupt as Virgil fell silent. He prodded his brother. "Was special? What happened?"

Virgil swallowed, exhaling deeply, shakily. He looked down to the coffee in his hands as if it would provide all the answers, as if it would stop the pain and hurting he felt. "October 6th." His voice shook. Scott frowned in worry as he heard the quiver to his brother's voice. He prayed for answers, a prayer that would be heard. His eyes pleaded for this secrecy to stop, pleaded to know.

"It was her birthday. We'd been out for a meal." He smiled sadly, the smile soon faded like rain falling down a window pain, leaving only sad expressions and frowning face.

Scott didn't speak, he was mesmerised by his brother's behaviour, he watched his every move like a bird of prey stalking its next victim. The few seconds of silence turned into minutes. Scott again, felt the need to urge his brother on. Anything to break the silence. The frogs chirping and insects buzzing around them was all that could be heard. Virgil seemed to be in his own world leaving Scott and reality behind; his older brother was frustrated and could stand it no longer.

"Virg? You alright?" Virgil jumped physically at the sound of Scotts voice as it echoed in his head. He turned suddenly to face Scott, who was frowning at him previous concern sharply transforming into worry. Scott saw his younger brother's eyes. Eyes Virgil had hidden from him before. Eyes brimming with moisture ready to fall at any moment. Like a dam, seconds before breaking. Virgil blinked the tears away quickly.

Tracy men don't cry.

Scotts worry was about to be augmented to full blown panic at the sight of his brothers distress when he spoke again.

This time his voice was cracked, panicked, he spoke quickly. Rushing to get the words out, Scott struggled to understand, as his usually calm brother appeared to be panicking. "I didn't see him Scott, I swear I didn't." Scott nodded slightly; seeing it was important to Virgil he understood that. Virgil searched Scott's eyes for conformation. Scott moved closer, Virgil hardly noticed he was so caught up in getting it out now. "He came out of nowhere I didn't see the knife. Not until it was too late." Virgil swallowed, not even attempting to pause for breath, he forgot to breathe. "He wanted my wallet. Why didn't I just give it to him? It was only money."

The question was more to himself than Scott and he carried on. Seemingly talking to himself, almost oblivious of Scott's presence at all. Scott felt a knot form in his stomach. What could possibly make his brother so upset? So agitated. He was at a loss of what to do. Slowly he digested what his brother was saying as Virgil continued. "But no. I had to try and be a hero. We struggled." Virgil shook his head. Holding his breath, further depriving his lungs of oxygen. Suddenly he seemed calmer; the traumatic recital had taken his energy. He melted back into silence. A deep sigh.

"The next thing I know. I was waking up on the floor. He must've knocked me out." He paused swallowing back some of the breathlessness. "I remember thinking 'Thank God. She was ok.'" Again he shook his head. "I could see her. She couldn't have been more than a metre away. I could see her." He repeated as a ghost of a smile fluttered across his face. "Everything was alright. We were both okay." Scott could see Virgils lips begin to shake as he spoke. He felt a shiver run down his own spine as he took in Virgils shuddering form. A part of him was still in shock, but he edged closer still to his brother.

"And then..." Virgil paused, mustering the courage to say the words. "And then I got closer. I saw it. Blood. Blood everywhere. All over her. All over the floor." Virgil screwed his nose up. "That smell. Like a mixture of dried blood and still fresh." Scott's stomach lurched at the vivid description; he could only imagine how it felt to be there. Hearing this was enough, living it must have been hell.

Virgil paused again as the memories he'd tried so hard to repress came back with a vengeance. Popping into his thinking one by one. Reminding him off what he'd fought long and hard to forget.

"I called an ambulance." He swallowed. "I tried to stop the bleeding but..." He looked down at his hands, flexing his fingers. "It just kept coming. I couldn't stop it." The odd stray tear glided softly, gently down his cheeks, as he could hold them back no longer. Scott watched with sympathy as the most together of all his brothers fell apart right in front of his very eyes. He felt those eyes become redder, hotter as his brother's words and distress finally sunk in. Scott feared he knew what was coming, feared Virgil would vocalise his worst nightmare. He hung his head low, before fixing his eyes on Virgil. Begging him not say the words he feared he knew would come.

Virgil seemed to drift off into a world of his own. The memory of that night playing over again in his mind, as it had done so many times before. Like watching television, the picture was clear but far away.

That cold, dark, damp street. The hard, unforgiving concrete and the thing that most stood out; the smell.

He gently kneels beside her, carefully pulling her into his lap. He felt the blood dampen his clothes. "I'm sorry." His voice could hardly be heard in the total silence, it was whispered and shallow.

She looks up to him with tired eyes, smiling. "Kiss me." Her English accent soft but sure.

"I don't want you to go." His voice waivers from soft to shaking, gentle but broken.

"Promise me you'll live. For me. There must be someone else out there for you Virg. Or this wouldn't..." Her energy dissipating quickly. "It wouldn't be happening." She smiles again. He shakes his head vehemently. She breathes unsteadily. "Promise me, you won't ruin your life because of..." another pause to regain some energy. "...Me. I need you to do that for me. Don't deprive this world of little Virgil Tracy's." She smiled again. Frowning at the unbearable pain she felt. This would be the hardest thing she had ever done. Asking the man she loved, her man, to go and find someone else. Hard but necessary.

"You're depriving the world of little Anna Air's," He argued feebly, hardly suppressing the tears at all.

"I can't do anything about that. You can."

"Fight. Just hold on a little longer. The ambulance won't be long. Please." He begs.

"I'm doing my best Virg." Her body trembles in his arms. "Promise me. Please do this last thing for me?"

"I promise. But I don't want you to go. Please don't leave me." She places a bloody hand alongside his pleading eyes, shaking, almost violently. "I love you." He allows her to guide him towards her.

"I love you too." She mutters. Their final words muttered before their lips met in a gentle, firm, final clinch.

He pulled away slowly, the realisation that she's gone hits him hard and he holds her tight. No longer needing to worry about the pain he causes her he cried heartily into her still, lifeless form.

The cold concrete floor, gives no comfort, nor the darkness. As he rocks to and fro, her limp body still held tightly in his arms. The dim, damp air circulates around the harrowing, breathtaking sobs. The silence interrupted only by a siren. Two minutes too late.

The silence ate away at him more and more with each second that passed.

"Virg?" Virgil blinked; another tear fell down his cheek. Scott had moved to sit alongside him. One leg tucked under himself. Facing his brother, he reached out and placed a hand on Virgils shoulder. Virgil noticed for the first time his brother's proximity. Scott felt the flinch beneath his grip.

"She died. Right there in that alleyway. Right there in my arms." Virgil spoke as if seconds had passed not minutes.

The knot in Scott's stomach rose to his throat. He could hardly comprehend this. He swallowed but it didn't go away. "Oh God." He heard himself say as his brother spoke the words he'd prayed not to hear. "Virg." His own voice was shaky, he tried to pull Virgil closer, he could feel him trembling but Virgil resisted. Pushing Scott away.

"No." he muttered. "Don't Scott." He exhaled a big breath, trying to calm himself. Afraid if he let himself be held he'd loose any dignity he had left.

"You know what the worst thing is?" There was no answer to the question and Virgil continued. "He took nothing. My wallet, my watch. He took none of it. Absolutely nothing, yet he took everything. Kind of ironic huh?" Virgil laughed shakily.

Scott didn't laugh. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. For once he couldn't fix this, he couldn't make things better. He couldn't tell his brother that everything would be okay. For the plain and simple reason that it wasn't, it hadn't been and it wouldn't be. His mind drifted to the young man sat in front of him. Wearily he studied his brother. He'd been through so much in his short life, so much he didn't deserve. The guilt hit him. So many questions flooded his mind. Why didn't he know about this? How could Virgil not tell him? How did he hide something this big? How did he not notice? His conscious raced. Virgil was right; he'd let him down. Well and truly. But why hadn't Virgil told him?

He began slowly, not wanting to startle his already fragile younger brother. "That was the night it happened? That was the night I let you down?" His voice scratched in his throat. Guilt and self-loathing rising to the surface as again his first thoughts were about how he felt. He was reminded of how he'd let himself drift away from Virgil because of the geographic distance they were apart. He was disgusted at his own behaviour as he realised what his brother had gone through, alone. What a terrible brother he'd been.

"You didn't let me down Scott. I know if I'd said anything you'd have been there like a shot. But I thought it best not to."

"Why?" Scott asked amazed at the revelation.

"You had a lot on. You'd just got the go ahead for the Spanish Mission. You and Katie were progressing. You where already worried about Alan flunking his finals and Gordon was still recovering. The last thing you needed was me crying on your shoulder." He looked up to see Scotts shocked face.

He closed his mouth before replying. "I can't believe that even then, you were thinking of the others. Of me. It's what I'm here for Virg. That's what we do, support each other." Scott frowned in disbelief at his brother's selflessness.

"I wasn't thinking of the others at first. I wanted someone to just take me away. To tell me it wasn't real, that it would be okay. I needed someone to..." he hesitated. "To hold me. To tell me I wasn't on my own. I needed someone to pull me back together again. The hospital said I couldn't leave unless I had someone to look after me; I had a concussion. I didn't want to call Dad or the others, I didn't want them to see me looking so..." He didn't finish that sentence. "So I called you."

Scott became even more dismayed. Virgil had tried to contact him; even worse.

"I don't remember." He admitted.

"You wouldn't." Virgil smiled. He wasn't angry or upset any more. Just exhausted. "You could hardly hold the 'phone straight. You'd just got the go ahead. You were out celebrating. I couldn't hear a word you were saying. I don't think you even realised it was me."

Scott winced at the words. He did not usually drink excessively however in the Air Force he had been swayed a few times. After a tough mission or the customary drink when a new assignment was commissioned. It was normal behaviour back then. Virgil had heard many a story of when he'd been 'out with the boys.'

Virgil's words stung him to the very bone, like a thousand bee stings all over his body. The thought that his brother wanted his support, needed him and he wasn't there hurt more.

"I'm so sorry Virgil. You're right; I've let you down. But I'll make it up to you. I promise you. You'll never be alone again. You'll never have to go through anything on your own." Scott tried to make his brother believe how much he meant those words. How he wanted his forgiveness, though he felt he didn't deserve it.

Virgil just smiled at him. "I had plenty of opportunity to tell you Scott. It was my fault and no one else's that I did it alone. And I stand by that decision. Everyone had their own stuff going on at the time. Besides I had Jaime. She looked after me. We looked after each other." Suddenly he felt the need to explain why he hadn't taken the time to tell anyone else sooner.

"I found that people who knew me treated me different, like I was going to break all the time at the slightest comment to do with death. I liked how it was at home, without that. It was a break from being the guy whose girlfriend was murdered. I guess a part of me was scared at how I'd get treated if you guys found out. The way people looked at me changed, the way they acted around me. I wasn't me anymore. I know that doesn't make sense. They were only trying to help but it felt like I was living in a glass box. I couldn't bear it to be like that here. To be treated like that by John, Gordon, Alan. What about Tin-tin and Kyrano? What would they say?" He swallowed looking up to Scott's glassy eyes.

"They'd say it doesn't matter. We're your family we're supposed to support you at times like that. No-one would've treated you any different." Scott was becoming frustrated by his brothers concern for other people's thoughts.

"People didn't do it on purpose Scott. It was a reaction."

"Don't forget we know what that feels like. When Mom died lots of people stared at us too." Scott tried to understand how his brother had felt by comparing it to his mother's death.

"This was completely different though. I loved Mom. But I loved Anna in a different way. It's not the same thing." He paused.

"That wouldn't happen here. You know we'd never treat you any different." Scott suddenly doubted that last statement. "Don't you?"

Virgil nodded. "I guess."

"No guessing." He paused. "Does dad know?"

Virgil shook his head quickly. "No and he can't find out. You have to promise me you won't say a word. It'd just remind him of Mom."

Scott sighed. "Virgil he'll understand better than most of us. You can't think about everyone else all the time. You have to think of you sometimes."

"Promise me Scott. Or he finds out about the crash landing." The firmness in his voice was unmistakable. Virgil had inherited most of his mother's features. But the Tracy sternness was there all right.

Scott nodded. "Okay. If you promise me this'll never happen again. We don't have secrets anymore right?" Virgil nodded.

"Okay. I'm sorry." He admitted after a pause. "I'm not sorry I didn't tell you. But I'm sorry about the things I said this morning, they weren't true Scott. I couldn't have asked for a better brother. I'm sorry that it hurts you that I didn't tell you. I know it does. I can see it. But I had to keep it to myself. It was for the best."

Scott disagreed but reasoned this would go on all night. "What happened at the hospital?"

"It all happened so fast. I don't really remember a lot. I went home with Jaime, she looked after me then after the funeral she went back to England and I went to New York. Started work for Atlanta Airways. When I got 'the call', I didn't hesitate. I had nothing to loose anymore."

"It sounds lonely." Scott pondered out load.

"It wasn't. I spoke to you regularly and Dad occasionally. Jaime called most weeks. I carried on living my life. It was what she wanted." There was a pause before Virgil spoke again. There was a chill in the air now. "Sometimes if I close my eyes. I'm right back there in that alleyway." He closed his eyes. He contemplated whether to go on or not. "I don't understand. Why her? I was the man. I was the threat. He should've killed me."

"No." Scott voiced his concern. "Don't you ever say that." He swore. Virgil opened his eyes. "I don't know what we'd do without you."

Virgil smiled wryly. "C'mon Scott, you'd manage. Sure you'd be upset but you'd get over it. You wouldn't have any little brother jumping on you saying spiteful things when all you're trying to do is help him."

"I can't believe we're even discussing this. I know I should've been there to say this at the time but there isn't a person in this household who doesn't care a lot about you Virg. Me included." Scott reiterated his words by firmly squeezing his shoulder.

"I wonder sometimes. If I'll ever get the chance to tell her how sorry I am. It was my fault it happened. If I'd just given him my wallet he would've gone off to get his next fix and I'd have a mortgage and 2.4 children by now."

"You can't know that." Scott quickly countered these thoughts. "You can't know he wouldn't have killed you both anyway. We should be thankful you're alive. There was nothing you could have done Virgil. You said that yourself. Sounds to me like she died happy. Her last few moments were spent with the man she quite clearly loved and adored." Virgil smiled briefly. "I do think you should talk to Dad though." Scott's suggestion was met with more than a little resistance.

"I can't Scott. I'd never spoken about it to anyone until tonight and you have no idea how hard it was for me to tell you." He tried to explain but Scott was having none of it.

"I can only imagine how you felt, how you feel. Dad knows how you feel."

"You can't compare my relationship with Anna to Mom and Dad. We were together a year not a decade. We didn't have kids. We didn't sacrifice our dreams for a family."

"You were in love." Scott added.

Virgil puzzled over that. "Maybe we were but I've done it now. There's no point in dredging up both of our pasts and just making everyone upset. It's gone. Over. She's gone. And she's not coming back."

"You miss her." Scott read his brother's thoughts. "That's understandable."

"Of course I miss her. Every second of every hour of every day but that's not going to change things now." Virgils point was brief and practical. He was right nothing could bring her back.

They sat in silence.

"That picture and those letters they were from her too?" Virgil nodded numbly. He expected to feel relieved but he didn't.

"It was a year since..." he didn't finish. As a sudden wave of loss hit him.

"It won't happen again. I'll never fail you again Virgil." Scott tried to pull Virgil towards him. Still in a state of shock at tonight's revelations. Virgil pushed him back.

"Please don't Scott" The small reply to his gesture came.

"Why not? You said you needed someone to hold you. I might be a couple of years late but I'm here." He managed a small smile.

Virgil shook his head. "Tracy men don't cry, remember?" Virgil smiled. "I can't hold it together if you...." Too late, Scotts arms where wrapped around his body tightly. He resisted at first but soon melted into the warmth, the safety. He couldn't help it as the tears began slowly at first, then more steadily. Before long the sound of Virgils sobs was the only thing that broke the silence, Scott tried to soothe him like he had done when they where younger. But they weren't younger anymore, they were grown men. This wasn't a scraped knee or even a broken arm, it was much worse. Scott held Virgils head and shoulders as they heaved under the immense pressure.

"I'm sorry Scott." The words where hardly audible over the sobbing into his shoulder.

"Shh" Scott winced at his brother's sobs, "Its Okay. Shh" He gently ran his fingers through Virgil's hair kissing him lightly on the head as he tried to stop his own tears from falling, barely managing.

They sat like that for some time. Eventually the sobs subsided; Scott thought Virgil had fallen asleep. So when he spoke, even the softest whisper startled him.

"You won't tell anyone will you?" He pulled his head away from Scotts shoulder. Scott took in his tear stained, red face.

"Not if you don't want me to."

"I don't" Virgil answered quickly.

"That doesn't mean I think it's the right thing to do. It means I respect it's you decision to make." Scott swallowed back his own upset; that could wait until later.

"Boy's? Is that you?" Scott felt Virgil jump besides him at the sound of their father's voice. Panic-stricken eyes met his.

"Don't worry. Stay here. I'll sort it." Scott slowly got to his feet and walked to meet his father who was heading towards them out of the house. Virgil sat in quite contemplation.

"What did you tell him?" Scott was only just within hearing distance when the question came, obvious concern in the voice.

"Nothing." Scott replied as he walked towards where his brother sat. "Just that we were talking."

"But you didn't say what about?" Virgil asked obviously distressed at the thought.

"I said I wouldn't." Scott told him firmly.

"Sorry. I don't want you to have to lie to him Scott." Virgil felt a pang of guilt at his brother covering up for him.

Scott merely sighed. "It's not the first time and it sure as hell won't be the last." He smiled. "It's getting cold out here. He'll be getting suspicious. We should go in."

Virgil nodded. "Okay, Thanks Scott." Scott just smiled, his mind still reeling.

Two storeys up. Gordon spied his brothers heading towards the house talking quietly between themselves.

"John!" He called. "Come here." The older, lethargic man appeared at the balcony door.

"Couldn't sleep? Is your back playing you up?" He asked, yawning. His copper haired brother hushed him, beckoning him over. John complied.

"I told you they'd be okay didn't I?" He asked smugly. John followed his line of vision eventually seeing his two elder brothers walking together, talking. Despite his extreme dormancy John felt a smile spread across his face, a reassuring smile. Things in the Tracy household were looking up.

Assuming the rest of the household was asleep the two eldest brothers headed for their respective rooms. Coming to a halt outside Virgils, Scott spoke up.

"Remember what you promised?"

Virgil nodded. "I'm sorry about all this Scott." He said in a hushed whisper.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Scott reassured him.

Virgil stared at his words. "Scott, I've never cried like that. Not even on the night it all happened. Not since Mom died when I was a kid." He looked to the floor self – consciously.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Virg." Virgil wasn't convinced. "If anyone should be sorry it's me. I'm the one that let you down. Being upset doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a person. Leaving the one person who has stood by me all my life, on his own to cope with something like this. I'd say that qualifies."

"Scott, we've been through this." Virgil sighed. "You never left me on my own. I didn't give you the chance."

"Well, if that 'phone call wasn't a cry for help I don't know what was." Scott interrupted.

"Stop it! I had plenty of opportunity. What's done is done Scott." He nodded reluctantly, having to agree with that comment. Scott Tracy may be a hero to the thousands of people's lives he saved with International Rescue. He may be an idol to his younger brothers. But even he couldn't turn back time.

There was a long silence. "I'm proud of you. Dad would be too. If you told him." Scott smiled, Virgil returned it wearily. "You've done really well Virgil. To cope with all this."

Virgil scoffed in reply. "You didn't see me Scott. I was a wreck at first. I just felt numb. I wanted to pretend it wasn't happening. So I did. That's not coping."

"But you're coping okay now. I mean you've been able to talk to me about it." Scott tried to get through to Virgil that he had done the right thing in telling him. "You came out the other side. I couldn't have done that. Not without a nervous breakdown. You're a braver man than me." Virgil protested at that, in his eyes there would never be a braver man than Scott Tracy. He'd seen him at his worse and at his best, and so could confidently say he knew no one more stout-hearted and valiant than his older brother.

Suddenly Virgil yawned. Scott noticed how worn he looked, tired and frail. On impulse he pulled him towards him. "Go get some rest. You're never going to have to be on your own again Virgil, ever. I swear, not as long as there's breath in my body." Virgil pulled away, a faint smile pulling at the corners of his lips. Scott wanted so much to make everything okay, but deep down he knew he couldn't. Eventually he headed for his own room, leaving Virgil to go to bed.

Virgil, exhausted by how much today had taken out of him fell into a fitful slumber, the memories he had suppressed for the last year rearing their ugly heads and taking ultimate control of his subconscious.

Scott meanwhile lay awake, unable to get his brothers words out of his head. His mind played over the night's conversation. He tried to manoeuvre his mind into some kind of understanding of the revelation. As far as he was concerned, Virgil had been right that morning, he'd let his younger brother down, he'd failed him and, no matter what Virgil said Scott would never be convinced otherwise. There was only one thing he could be certain of; this would never happen again.

He lay awake, waiting to wake up from this nightmare. He glanced across at the digital display on the clock, by his bed and deep down he knew this was one nightmare he never would wake from. Because despite the hours he'd spent persuading himself otherwise; this was his reality.