Authors Note: Wow I had total writers block there for a while. Sorry it took so log to get this chapter up, but here it is. ENJOY.

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She was cold and alone. The four walls surrounding her were suffocating. Suddenly she was standing in the center of the twin's room. She could hear them crying for her, but she couldn't see them. The floor was covered in a thick layer of crimson liquid. In the corner of the room was their rocking chair, its back facing her. As she rounded the chair, Gil's blood stained face came into view. She was crying and screaming now but there was no one there to help her.

Sara sat bolt right up in bed. The sudden shifting caused Gil to wake with a start. He hadn't heard the twins so he didn't know why Sara was up. She wasn't moving, just staring straight ahead at the wall. Seeing the panicked look in her eyes he began to gently rub her back, but at her flinch he quickly pulled his hand away.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Her sobbing stopped her from replying right away.

"I was in a room…it turned into the twin's room. There was blood, I guess, all over the carpet…I saw the rocking chair and I went to it. It was you…covered in blood…they were crying…I couldn't get to them…you were ….oh GOD!"

Gil wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

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The twins were almost four months old now. Sara had stayed in Canada until the doctor said that it was safe for Hope and John to fly. It was two months before Sara was back at home with Gil.

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"I'm sorry about your mom."

"I miss her ya know. I guess I'm just scared that I'll lose you and the kids too. Go back to sleep okay. I'm going to go sit with the twins for a while."

Gil was worried for Sara. Since her mom passed away Sara had had nightmares every night, and they were getting progressively worse. She wouldn't let herself be happy, sex was a foreign word, and Gil was starting to get cranky.

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Morning brought a new a day, and hopefully a better one than the last.

Gil got up and got ready for work. On his way out the front door he stopped at the twin's room. Sara was asleep in the rocking chair, one hand resting on each crib. His heart broke thinking that the only time she slept anymore was when she was sitting with their kids.

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'I used to do that to her. I keep telling myself that just a little more space and time will be good for her. She's just sinking farther into the black abyss. I feel that I can't do anything to help her out.'

"Things will work out for you Gil"

"What?!"

"You tend to mumble when you're thinking too hard. Tell ya what, Lindsey and I will take the twins for a few hours. Take her out to dinner; hold her, fight with her…fuck her…"

"Cath…"

"Just…maybe spend some time with her instead of giving her so much space okay?"

"Cath that sounds GREAT, really, but I don't think she'll leave them. I don't even remember the last time I held either of them. She feels guilty for being so happy that night she had them."

"The night her mom died?"

"Yeah"

"Let me talk to her. I'll stop by now. I'm not busy and if anything comes in you can call me."

"Yeah okay…hey, how are things with you and Warrick?"

"Good. I'm sleeping better with Warrick here. Lindsey's little snit the other day scared me a lot and I cant help but think that she feels like I'm trying to replace her father."

And…are you?"

"Well yes and no. Eddie was a great father to her, she misses him. I'm not trying to replace that. I feel safe and loved with Warrick. It's just going to take some getting used too. Look my problems are just that, MINE. I'll go see what I can do about Sara."

"Shouldn't my problems be mine?"

"Not when they're affecting you at work. You sit in here every shift and think about what you did wrong. You didn't do anything wrong Gil."

Catherine walked out the door. Leaving Gil to think about what she said.

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Sara was tidying up around the house when the doorbell rang. She cringed when Hope and John started screaming.

"Catherine you woke up the twins. I JUST got them to sleep!"

"Sorry. I'll help put them back to sleep but then we need to talk."

"Did Gil send you here?"

"No. I was worried about you, we all are. Grissom hasn't come out of his office in almost a month. I don't know the extent of what's going on here, but I do know that it revolves around your mom and the fact that you're a new mom. I want to take the kids for a few hours so you and Gil can have some alone time, to talk or fight or fuck…, whatever you need to do. Like I said, I don't really know what's going on with the two of you, but you need some time together."

"We haven't had sex in almost five months. It's my fault really. I've been tired and trying to cope with everything. I know that it has been four months since my mom passed but every time I look at the twins I start to cry, she didn't even get to see them. You know he proposed to me. About a month ago I went out for diapers, I came home and the kids were asleep and there were candles everywhere. It's the second time that I've turned him down. Apparently that's about the time that he started hiding out in his office. We need to talk."

"Is tomorrow too soon? He's got the night off."

"Sure…shouldn't you answer your phone, it could be work."

"Willows…hmmm…yea…okay. It's for you."

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry."

Sara smiled at Gils attempt to cheer her up.

"So Catherine told me that you were free tomorrow. I was thinking maybe we could go to a movie, maybe dinner after. I love you Gil."

"That sounds nice. I miss you. I feel like we haven't seen each other in days."

"It's my fault, oh god I'm going to cry."

"Don't cry, because if you do then I will and I'm already getting funny looks from the guys. How are the twins?"

"Hopes been a little fussy, her ears are bothering her again. John is missing his daddy. Maybe I'll let you hold them when you get home tonight. I gotta go, time to change the twins. Come home tonight okay. Please."

"Could you give Cath the phone?"

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Half an hour later the twins were changed, fed and sleeping. Gil quietly walked into the house. He found Sara fast asleep on the couch. It looked like she had been doing the laundry and then Done Fell Over. He finished putting the laundry away and woke his sleeping beauty.

"Hmmm…Gil? What time is it?"

"It's just after one. You sounded like you needed me so I came home early and sent Catherine to my location."

"I know that I have been acting…strange lately, and I know how much it seems to be affecting you. It has just been really hard but it's better now. I promise."

"Are you pregnant?"

"What!? NO! We haven't had sex in five months and I'm on the pill."

"Last time you told me you were on the pill you ended up pregnant."

"It all worked out though didn't it?"

"Yeah. I love you Sara."

"Gil, about the other night…"

"That was the second time I asked you to marry me. I don't think my ego could take anymore abuse."

"I was wondering if maybe you'd still want to be my husband."

"Why Sara Sidle, did you just propose to me?"

Sara lowered her head in embarrassment. "Yes" was said just above a whisper. Gil reached his hands out to cup her face and bring it up so she was looking at him.

"Yes" was all he said. Her whole face lit up at his word.

"Really?"

"I knew you would come to me when you were ready, although I thought we would just talk about it and I would ask you again, but this way works too."

"Now, will you take me to bed sir? I believe we need to be reacquainted."

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TBC?