This feels like it's taking over my life! I'm in a little ER bubble sat here. Abby and Maggie talk, but it's not all happy families.
As ever nothing is mine, well Amelia is actually mine.
Here we go…..
"Did you talk to her?" Maggie said almost jumping off the couch as Abby walked in through her front door.
"Yes." Abby sighed as she dropped her bag on the floor.
"And?" Maggie pushed.
"She said that she'd listen to what you had to say." Abby said looking at her.
"Really?" Maggie asked relief relaxing her whole body.
"Yep, she's going to come over later." Abby added.
"Thank you." Maggie said to Abby's back as she went to put the kettle on the stove, as she did she turned back to Maggie.
"Don't get your hopes up to much about this ok." Abby said looking at her.
"If she wants to talk to me that's something though, that's good Abby." Maggie said the relief and excitement evident in her face.
"Mom," Abby paused, "I just, I don't know if she, it's just that…" She trailed off. "Twenty-two years is a long time." She smiled sadly at Maggie who she could see wanted this so much, and she could understand why, but it was never going to be perfect which is what Maggie wanted.
"I know." Maggie said quietly nodding as the kettle began to scream.
Abby poured two mugs of tea as Maggie scurried off to change and sat down at the table; wearily she rested her chin on her hand and began fiddling with the string of the tea bag, decidedly dubious about what the evening would bring.
"Abby listen to me." Maggie began as she retuned and sat down opposite Abby.
She could sense that this was going to be one of Maggie's big comforting speeches, almost all of which she could quote by heart but she let her continue.
"I know that you want to protect me, and you want to protect your sister, but you have to understand why I want to do this." Maggie began.
"She doesn't need protecting." Abby interrupted looking at Maggie "She doesn't." Abby said shaking her head, and she knew that it was true; Amelia had more barriers up than she did, better defense mechanisms than Abby herself, whatever was said or done she had every confidence that Amelia could lock it deeper inside than she could. Abby's one weakness was Amelia's greatest strength, where Maggie and Eric were the two thing's in the world that could crush Abby, she knew that Amelia had been crushed once, and now she wouldn't let herself be again, where as she had been semi crushed each time and she'd never quite managed to repair herself before the next blow had come; her foundations had been weakened, and they'd never be quite strong enough.
Maggie continued, "It's instinct Abby, I remember how you were with her, and I know how you still are with Eric, but Abby I'm her mother, and I know that she's not going to see me as that straight away," She paused adding, "Maybe she never will. I have to try, make her understand, make her see that I'm sorry, that I never meant any of this to happen." Maggie finished desperate to gain Abby's understanding and approval.
"Ok." Abby nodded unassumingly.
"You see me as balancing on a knife edge, never knowing which way I'm going to fall, or how far." Maggie started again, "But sweetie I promise you I won't, I can deal with my life Abby, and I'm not going to fall." She finished, giving Abby's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"You can't promise me that." Abby said standing up putting the kettle back on the stove.
"Believe me Abby, I've got to much to loose now, and I won't loose it again." Maggie stood up.
"I hope that's true Maggie" Abby smiled weakly.
Abby and Maggie were startled out of their conversation by a knock at the door; Abby stood up and walked over opening the door.
"Hi." Abby said quietly.
Amelia stepped inside indicating behind her, "Someone left your outside door open, you should talk to your neighbors about it." She said looking nervously at Abby.
"Hi." Maggie said standing up, moving out of the kitchen. Amelia's head shot round.
Abby noticed that she must have come straight from work, she was wearing the same dark, faded jeans and a wooly turtle neck she'd been wearing on the roof, she pulled off the whole casual look well, with her blonde hair pulled back loosely, the only difference now though was the nervous look on her face. Her knuckles whitened around the strap of her bag as her grip tightened.
"Amelia." Maggie said taking a step forward towards her and Abby who was looking down at the floor. "I can't believe it's really you."
"I can't do this I'm sorry." Amelia said shaking her head looking at Abby, spinning round to walk out of the door.
"Please, Amelia, please, talk to me." Maggie said rushing over, catching Amelia's arm gently. Amelia looked at Maggie briefly, before looking up, away, anything to avoid Maggie's pleading gaze. After what seemed like an age she looked back.
"I don't know what there is to say." She shrugged shaking her head.
"No." Maggie said, "No," She shook her head, "There's a lot to say, please Amelia." Maggie begged.
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