Ok, here we go with chapter 13, starting where we left them, I've had one caution about the language in the reviews I've had and so I'm sorry if I've caused offence!! I've changed this to a PG-13 story so as not to get myself into any trouble! I just also want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story so far all of your comments have been very nice so cheers.
"You should have known"
Amelia crossed her arms and looked down, she scuffed the ground with her foot, like a kid who knew they'd been naughty. She stood like that for a while, Maggie still staring at her, she wanted to run, take Lauren and just run away from this but she didn't, she couldn't, she wasn't exactly sure why, or what it was, but something made her stay. She looked up glancing around for Jasper and she saw him a little way away helping a forlorn looking Lauren collect more leaves.
"How old is she?" Amelia looked back over at Abby this time as she asked the question.
"Four." Amelia replied, self-doubt evident in her eyes as she looked at Abby.
"She's cute." Abby said a small smile playing on her lips. Amelia nodded her agreement biting her lip, looking over where Abby was looking briefly before looking back down.
Slowly Maggie shook off her shock and took her eyes off Amelia, she looked over at the little girl, and slowly started moving towards her. Abby watched her as she started walking away; it was a couple of seconds before Amelia realized Maggie was moving and a couple more before she registered where she was heading. She didn't attempt to stop her though, Maggie's quiet determination held her back. They watched as Maggie approached Jasper and Lauren, kneeling down beside them, Jasper looked over at Amelia trying to gage her reaction, he saw her watching them and looking back smiled at Maggie satisfied she had Amelia's approval. Amelia saw Jaspers mouth move as he said something to Lauren and she looked up from her leaves towards Maggie and smiled, one of her beautiful shy smiles, backing towards Jasper. Maggie had obviously said something as Lauren began nodding vigorously.
Looking over at Abby, Amelia whispered, "I'm sorry." A sad frown creasing her forehead.
Abby touched Amelia's arm motioning for her to follow, she lent against the wall a little further away from the others. Amelia shot a concerned look back towards her daughter, deciding she was quite safe with Jasper she followed Abby's lead
"Why didn't you tell me?" Abby asked, her back to the wall, elbows resting behind her.
"I honestly don't know." Amelia sighed rubbing her eyes with he thumb and forefinger, bringing them to a peak at the bridge of her nose momentarily before looking down at the ground again. "I, really I don't know." She shook her head an ironic smile forming on her lips.
"I guess there was no reason you should have." Abby suggested.
Amelia looked at her quizzically for a second, "You don't believe that." She shook her head.
"No I don't." Abby conceded, "But I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me." She added, frustrated.
"Abby, honestly, I really don't know, it's not like I would have denied it if you flat out asked me, but it just, she just, it didn't come up and there was never really an appropriate time to just come out with it." Amelia tried to explain.
Abby looked at her hanging her head, kicking the ground again. Silence descended between the two, as they mulled things over.
"Is he her father?" Abby asked eventually.
"Biologically no." Amelia said looking over at Maggie and Lauren and Jasper, "But he's the only Dad she's ever known, so yes he is." She told Abby.
"He's cute." Abby said an evil smile on her face.
"I know," Amelia grinned back, the awkwardness of the situation broken by Abby's observance. "He's got a brother, two in fact." Amelia added wickedly
"Don't." Abby warned "You must have had her while you were still in med school." She said suddenly frowning changing the subject, Amelia shook her head yes. "I bet that didn't make life easy." She said still frowning.
"I had a lot of help." Amelia said in a manner that indicated she didn't really want to go into it.
"What's her name?" Abby asked realizing she didn't know.
"Lauren." Amelia said looking over at Abby who nodded pouting. "This isn't going to make what I said last night to Maggie any easier is it?" Amelia said, eventually coming to the point they'd both been thinking about.
Abby shook her head in response. "Did you mean it?" She asked.
"Which part?"
"All of it, about not wanting anything to do with her, not wanting her in your life. Not being able to forgive her for letting you go." Abby trailed off, looking over crossing her arms over her chest.
"Yes, and no," Amelia started still kicking the ground. "I was angry." She said sighing. "I don't know." She said rubbing her eyes again. "I like working with you, I like hanging out with you, but I've known you for what? Three months?" Amelia said, " It's not long, and it's certainly not a life time. I've never really thought about you as my sister." Amelia added quietly, "How I remember you, and her, and Eric, it's still not connected to who you actually are." Amelia sighed, still not looking at Abby, " I feel like this all so self obsessive, so self pitying and I hate it, I don't want to be the focus." Amelia sighed looking over at Abby.
"I think the focus may have been taken off you." Abby said pointing over to Maggie, Lauren and Jasper. Maggie was showing Lauren something and she was watching fascinated.
"I figured she'd never know about her." Amelia whispered still looking at her mother and daughter.
"And now she does?" Abby ventured.
"I don't know." Amelia replied. "I've never really thought about the fall out of all this, I never thought I'd have to." She said raising an eyebrow. "Christ I've fucked this whole thing up." She added looking at Abby who looked back.
"You haven't." Abby replied shaking her head reassuringly.
"How haven't I?" Amelia countered, "I have a daughter, who I never told you about, and even if you were just a colleague it'd be weird that I hadn't even mentioned her, but you're not just a colleague are you?" Amelia paused, "I met my mother for the first time in twenty-two years last night, I told her that I wanted nothing to do with her, and now she's sitting over there with my daughter, who doesn't even know who she is. I should be on bloody Jerry Springer or something." Amelia finished sighing one final time, flummoxed as to how her new life had reached this screwed up stage.
"It'll be ok." Abby assured her. "And that was self pitying." She added joking.
Amelia said nothing; she just continued to stare a Maggie and Lauren, not knowing what she was supposed to do. Did she go and talk to Maggie, let her into Lauren's life, and by doing so let her back into her own. Did she go and get Lauren and take her away, take her home and pretend that today and yesterday had never happened. She had no idea, she couldn't let herself give in to Maggie, she didn't want to, she didn't know how to and that scared her more than anything, but punishing Lauren and punishing Maggie wasn't what she wanted either, Lauren had never had any blood relations other than Amelia and she didn't know what it was like to be loved by family just because you were who you were. Amelia was overwhelmed by the idea that she could change her daughter's life right here, right now and she didn't know if it would be for the better or worse. She felt a hand on her hip and looked up, she saw Jasper next to her, suddenly realizing that she hadn't noticed that he hadn't been with Lauren. Christ what kind of a mother was she that she hadn't noticed that her daughter was alone with a stranger.
"She's fine." Jasper said as Amelia shot him a warning look pushing herself of the wall to go and get Lauren, he held her back. They exchanged looks, the kind that you could only do when you could read each other's thoughts and Amelia conceded, tension still running through her body at the thought of Maggie and Lauren alone together.
"Hi, I'm Jasper." He introduced himself holding his hand out towards Abby.
"Hi, Abby." She replied uncrossing her arms, shaking his hand.
"Nice to meet you." He smiled. "I came to see if you wanted coffee, there's a starbucks across the street." He said looking between Abby and Amelia.
"Yeah, please." Amelia replied without taking her watchful eyes off Maggie and Lauren.
"Abby?" Jasper asked, placing a reassuring hand on Amelia's back.
"Please." Abby nodded, smiling her appreciation.
"Ok." He smiled looking back towards Amelia, leaning towards her he quietly said, "Stop worrying." Kissing her temple before heading off to get the drinks.
They watched him jog away, Amelia was slightly surprised when he stopped by Maggie and she stood up, gently pointing Lauren back in Amelia's direction. Lauren began running over to her and Abby as Maggie and Jasper started across the street.
Abby and Amelia watched as Lauren ran across the grass towards them, they'd still not spoken again, Lauren suddenly veered off her direct course having spotted a muddy puddle.
"Don't, don't, don't do it." Amelia pleaded quietly as she saw where Lauren was heading, Abby saw what she was about to do and laughter began twinkling in her eyes.
"Oh for fucks sake." Amelia sighed as Lauren jumped in happily. Abby's laughter broke through as Lauren ran through the puddle and over towards them.
"Mommy." Lauren said as she arrived at Amelia's side a huge grin on her face. Amelia also had a trace of a smile on her face as she looked down at her little girl, who was now slightly disheveled, wet and muddy.
"Hey trouble." Amelia smiled down at her as she threw her weight towards Amelia's legs.
"Look." Lauren said proudly holding up some leaf creation she was clutching. "Maggie made it." She announced.
"Cool." Amelia dismissed the comment adding. "You're laces are undone again Lo."
"Daddy didn't do them up properly." Lauren said looking down at her shoes briefly.
Amelia picked her up sitting her sideways on the wall tending to the problem.
Lauren looked up at Abby who she was facing as she balanced on Amelia, a fistful of sweater in her hand.
"Hi." Abby said to her as she saw her looking at her.
"Hi." Lauren replied quietly, eyeing her suspiciously.
"Lauren this is my friend Abby." Amelia introduced them smiling.
"Hi." Lauren said again, suddenly having a brain wave she added, "Maggie's you're Mommy isn't she?" She asked smiling, proud of herself for remembering.
"Yes she is." Abby nodded smiling at the bold little girl.
"She told me." Lauren nodded still smiling.
Amelia rolled her eyes, the last thing she needed was for Lauren to think that Maggie was the greatest thing since sliced bread, but it looked as though she'd already made her mind up on that.
"Are you a Doctor like Mommy?" Lauren piped up again looking at Abby
"Sort of." Abby told her.
"Do you work at the hospital too?" Lauren asked
"Yeah." Abby nodded again, not minding this little question and answer session.
"I've never been to Mommy's new hospital, I used to go all the time didn't I Mom." Lauren announced looking from Abby to Amelia for confirmation.
"Yes you did." Amelia replied picking her off the wall standing her back on the ground.
"But I don't go any more." Lauren confided looking up at Abby.
"Why's that?" Abby asked her.
"I have to go to school now." Lauren explained.
"I see." Abby said still looking at her. "Where do you go to school?" Abby asked her.
"I don't remember what it's called, but my teacher's called Mrs. Miller." Lauren continued.
"Is she nice?" Abby asked looking down at her as she nodded vigorously.
"Mommy I'm cold." Lauren said suddenly looking up at Amelia.
"That's because you've been jumping in puddles." Amelia said raising an eyebrow as she pulled a pink fleece vest out from her bag. A cheeky smile crept onto Lauren's lips as she looked at her mother and over at Abby, who smiled back.
"You're Mom used to jump in puddles all the time." Abby confided in Lauren.
"Really?" Lauren asked her smile widening. Abby nodded raising her eyebrows at Lauren as if they'd just shared a big secret.
"Come here." Amelia said tugging Lauren backwards a little as she slipped her arms through the fleece, bending over her to reach the zip. She smiled as Lauren and Abby talked.
"What other naughty things did Mommy do?" Lauren asked her eyes twinkling looking out between Amelia's shoulder and head trying to see Abby.
"Please don't give her any ideas, she's got enough tricks up her sleeve as it is." Amelia said raising her head looking up at Abby smiling.
"No, what other stuff did you do?" Lauren said struggling out of Amelia's grip stepping forwards towards Abby, convinced that she would tell her.
"I did lots of things you're never going to know about." Amelia smiled down at her, knowing that this would frustrate Lauren immensely, but enjoying it nonetheless.
"No Mommy" She whined.
"I'll tell you one day." Abby said smiling down at Lauren.
"My Daddy took a sheep to school once, and he..." Lauren started looking up at Abby smiling wickedly.
"Ohhhh, no, we're not going to tell that story." Jasper's voice came from behind her as he and Maggie reappeared with the coffees causing the three of them to look round, Lauren continued though turning back to Abby.
"And he tied it up to..." she giggled as Jasper's hand clamped around her mouth and he picked her up, turning her upside down as he passed Amelia the cardboard tray of coffees. Lauren continued laughing as Jasper shook her.
Amelia put the tray on the wall, passing one to Abby, taking another for herself. Ignoring Jasper's antics as he carried the giggling Lauren away from them.
Amelia reverted from her normal relaxed self back to introverted and scared as she found herself alone with Abby and Maggie, Abby she could cope with, but Maggie was a different story and she wasn't entirely sure why. She looked down, at the ground, her fingers entwined around her coffee cup.
"She's beautiful Amelia." Maggie said smiling at her first grandchild. It was all Amelia could do to nod in agreement, taking a sip of her steaming drink. "Please don't push me away Amelia." Maggie went on looking at her, then to Abby.
"I'm sorry." Amelia said still looking down, she pushed herself off the wall and began to walk away, away from Maggie and Abby, and away from Jasper and Lauren as well, Maggie turned and she and Abby watched her retreating, staring after her; neither one of them followed.
"I don't know what else I can do." Maggie said turning back towards Abby who was still watching Amelia retreat.
"It's up to her Mom." Abby said looking back into Maggie's defeated eyes, "I'm sure she'll come round." she added reassuringly. Maggie nodded slowly.
"Where's Amelia?" Jasper asked frowning as he appeared beside them holding Lauren.
"Where's my chocolate milk?" Lauren demanded.
Jasper picked up Lauren's drink, handing it to her as she slithered down off his hip.
"She won't talk to me." Maggie said looking over at him, he sighed slightly.
Abby looked down at Lauren who was frowning with concentration as she struggled to get the straw in one hand into the carton in her other.
"Here." Abby said, holding out her hand for Lauren's drink, offering assistance, knowing it was probably something her mother would have done for her automatically.
"I'm sure she will, I guess it's just hard for her, surely you can understand that." Jasper said looking at Maggie.
"I know, it's hard for me too." Maggie said worriedly.
"I'll go and talk to her, can you keep an eye on Lauren?" He asked, moving to go after Amelia.
"Thank you." Lauren smiled up at Abby as she handed the now accessible chocolate milk back to her.
"You're welcome." Abby smiled down at the little girl in ignorant bliss.
"Sure." Maggie smiled as Jasper jogged away after Amelia.
As ever R&R this is the first thing I've ever posted so let me know how you think it's going.