Hey there. You may or may not recognize me from my other fic, Struggle. Coming Home is actually the first fan fic I ever wrote. I really liked Yuthura Ban´s character while playing KOTOR, and wanted to take a little look inside her head during that whole business in Naga Sadow´s tomb. This story was also a way to practice and work up the confidence to write something longer. Hope you like it.
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´´I am sure.´´
The tone of Yuthura Ban´s voice sounded sad . . . weak . . . even to herself. There was no way this woman standing over Uthar´s dead body had missed it.
Yuthura hated it. She hated the way this Tana made her feel, what she brought back in the Sith Master. The cold, unfeeling armor Yuthura had put around her heart bit by bit over the years had slipped for a moment a few days ago, and Tana had gotten through it. She really had an incredible way with words, having gotten the Twi´lek to reveal her painful past as a slave to that sadistic worm Omeesh. And yet Tana had somehow made the telling less unpleasant or demeaning than Yuthura would have expected. She had in fact made her want to talk, and made Yuthura feel secure in sharing this vulnerable side of herself with her.
The Sith Master couldn´t afford that. Such feelings were a weakness! If she was ever to rule the Academy, if she was ever to gain the strength necceccary to achieve her goals, she had to exorcise them.
She raised her lightsaber and reactivated it. It felt painful in a way she hadn´t experienced in years. She just had to kill this woman, had to sever this one link chaining her to the weak Jedi padawan she had once been, and nothing would stand in her way. This one last hurdle and Yuthura Ban would never be weak again. She just had to get it over with so it wouldn´t hurt so much.
,,I . . . I told you there was no such thing as friendship among the Sith, didn´t I? Let´s . . . get this over with. Quickly´´
Yuthura charged and swung her lightsaber in an overhead chop. Tana blocked it easily, as Yuthura had predicted she would, and the Twi´lek sent her foot out in a kick aimed at her stomach, hoping to bowl the woman over while her saber was held high. Tana smoothly jumped aside, however, and sent her own saber in a sideways chop that forced Yuthura to jump backwards. This set her on the defensive against a series of skillful strokes, each one seeming a natural continuation of the previous. In the back of her mind Yuthura felt the first pang of fear through the anger and sadness. This strange woman was skilled.
Yuthura kept trying to regain the offensive, but the blows were coming too fast, too hard, and to skillfully. She finally managed to predict one blow soon enough to dodge it rather than having to block and threw a wide, one-handed slash at Tana. Predictably now she blocked it, but for a moment her defenses were open. Yuthura held out her free hand and, focusing her anger and fear, sent out the Force in the form of a lightning bolt.
Tana gritted her teeth against the pain, but only for a moment. To the Sith masters´ horror her opponent wrapped the Force around herself and dissolved the lightning, the deadly power spreading harmlessly like she was being hit with a stream of water.
They stood like this for a few seconds, sabres locked, pitting together their Force powers, one offensively, the other defensively. Yuthura felt her grip on the Force weaken, the power of the Force lightning fading away like a water hose with no pressure, while Tana seemed nowhere near the limits of her power.
The Sith master had a terrible realisation: She wasn´t strong enough. The darkness was failing her. No matter how much anger and hatred she tried to pour into the Force she could feel her strength running dry. She was outmatched. Terror added to the output, but to no avail.
The fading lightning suddenly sputtered and died and Tana stuck her hand out towards Yuthura. The Twi´lek had seen the attack coming, but didn´t have time to react before she flew backwards and landed by the slope that led upwards towards the exit of the tomb.
Tomb . . .
I don´t want to die in this place!
She barely had time to get to her feet before Tana was on her with another impenetrable wall of swings and blows.
I want to live.
Tana aimed her sabre for a low thrust, and Yuthura moved hers to block, realising a terrible moment later that the move had been a feint.
In one fluid motion Tana clipped Yuthura´s right arm and leg.
Even though the wounds were not deep she screamed at the searing pain of lightsaber wounds and fell backwards, her sabre clattering on the floor.
Tana stood over her, the violet lightsabre illuminating them both.
,,Stop!´´ Yuthura held up her left hand in a plea. ,,I . . . yield!´´ she said, with her cheeks burning. She was helpless again. Just like on Sleheyron. Yuthura the Sith master reduced to pleading for her life.
,,You are too strong for me . . . I was a fool to think otherwise. I am at your mercy.´´
´´You ask for mercy?´´ Tana answered in a neutral tone, neither kind nor contemptuous. ´´You, a Sith?´´
There was no point in denying it. Tana had soundly defeated the Sith and they both knew it. Yuthura thought about a proverb she´d heard somewhere about pride being covered with thorns. It certainly hurt to swallow it. She withdrew her left hand and started nursing her wounded arm. Having her hand at the ready wouldn´t do her any good anyway if her hunch about Tana proved false.
´´I . . . suppose I am. Something . . . something tells me you´re not like the other students.´´ Indeed. Despite her words about joining the Sith and desiring ultimate power, Tana didn´t seem to truly mean it, her conversations with Yuthura being only one of the clues. Yuthura had let it pass to have such a powerful ally against Master Uthar.
She forced herself to meet Tana´s gaze. ´´I was right the first time back at the cantina wasn´t I? There is something different about you.´´
Tana seemed to consider her answer for a few moments, while scanning Yuthura´s eyes with that piercing gaze.
´´I never left the Jedi,´´ she finally said. ´´I came here on a mission, and it´s accomplished.´´
Yuthura allowed herself a weak chuckle. ´´I should have known. Too caught up in my ambition, I suppose.´´ She grew serious again and felt the fist around her heart squeese a little harder as she asked the question of the moment. ´´So what happens now? Will you show me mercy? Will you just let me leave?´´
The Jedi studied her for a few moments before speaking again in that soft, compelling voice that had first lowered Yuthura´s defenses. ´´Tell me why you attacked me first.´´
´´I . . . I . . . ´´ Yuthura sighed. She couldn´t avoid the truth. It had nothing to do with eliminating competition.
´´I had no choice. You reminded me too much of the time before I became a Sith.´´ Her voice lowered and almost broke under the weight of Omeesh´s phantom hands on her body. ´´When I wasn´t strong enough. When the Jedi took me in. And when I told them to stuff their slow, careful ways and left. I . . . didn´t want to think about . . . that.´´
Yuthura fought with all her strength to hide the tears, to keep them from escaping her eyes and going down her cheeks. But her memories, the good ones from the Jedi, and the bad ones from everything else in her life betrayed her. Why had she ever left them? Why had she betrayed every promise she had made, to herself and others, all in the name of power for it´s own sake?
She couldn´t stop the sniffle either, and the tears kept on flowing as the Sith´s self-illusions fell apart.
Damn it all. Damn her weakness. Wasn´t she defeated enough? Must this Jedi see her like this?
Tana deactivated her lightsaber and clipped it to her belt. Yuthura looked up as the Jedi kneeled down and reached out for her. She flinched instinctively, but Tana just placed one hand gently on her right shoulder, and the other on her hip. Yuthura felt light side of the Force flow into her wounds and healing them. It was so different from the standard Sith tactic of ripping the life force out of another one to add to ones´ own. It tasted of power and victory. Force energy given freely was warm and soothing, leaving behind a pleasant tingle. She had forgotten how the light side felt.
Tana then took her by the arms and helped her up. When she was sure Yuthura had her balance she put one friendly hand on her shoulder and another one under her chin, raising the Twi´leks eyes to meet hers.
The calm determination was still in those deep, mesmerizing eyes, but now mixed with compassion and open eyed sincerity.
´´Maybe you should think about it.´´ the Jedi said softly.
´´I . . . ´´ Yuthura took a moment to regain her composure. ´´You´re right. I have lost track of my goals, my entire reason for becoming a Sith. The more I gave myself over to the dark side, the more power I gained, the more I wanted. It was never enough. At some point I stopped thinking about the slaves and the wrongs I wanted to right, and focused only on power for it´s own sake.´´ She sighed, a fleeting memory of Master Jorum´s agonized face as she spat his teachings back in his face and left. ,,Maybe . . . maybe what I really needed was peace after all. The Jedi tried to show me that.´´
´´You can still go back to them.´´ Tana´s gaze and soft voice held her and seemed to reach down to her soul. ´´You can still find peace.´´
Yuthura was silent for a while. Facing the truth had been hard, very hard, but now that it was over with she felt oddly . . . liberated. Like a weight she hadn´t known about had been lifted.
´´Your right´´ she finally said, evenly. ´´Thank you . . . my friend´´ she said in all earnestness. ´´Thank you for opening my eyes. And for your mercy.´´
Tanas hand tightened on Yuthuras shoulder. ´´It was my pleasure . . . friend.´´ Those simple words filled the Twi´lek with a warmth and ease of mind she had forgotten years ago.
Yuthura glanced at Master Uthars broken body.
´´We need to get off this planet. Fast.´´
Tana simply nodded and took Yuthura´s arm to support the not fully recovered woman.
And Yuthura Ban walked up towards the light.