Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter.

Warning- This is a SLASH!

Note- I know it's been awhile but this is all done in Harry's point of view. Oh and there's a slight lime in this chapter.

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Chapter 13: Insecurity

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"When you want it/ It goes away too fast/Sometimes you hate it/ It always seems to last"- Marilyn Manson, Speed of Pain

"How the fuck did you mess this up, boy?" Uncle Vernon yells at me when we get home.

"I tried to kill someone."

He looks at me confused. I don't think he can choose what emotion he wants. He can either be kinda proud that I almost killed a 'weirdo', or he can be pissed off that I tried to kill someone. "Go to your room. I'll send up your dinner later." He says.

I drag myself up the stairs and to my room. I lay down on my bed and sigh. The door locks and I frown. Great. I get to think about Draco. About how I fucked everything up.

I hate my life right now. I have lost another person I love AND to top it off I've lost my home. The only place I've ever felt accepted in. I look over at my trunk. I feel the anger boiling inside of me. I hop off my bed and stomp over to it and toss everything I have in it around my room. I begin to scream at the top of my lungs.

I look down in my trunk and the last thing I have in there is my wand. If I lose my wand over this damn situation, I will fucking kill that red-headed wanker if it's the last thing I EVER do. I fall to my knees and begin to cry. What the fuck am I thinking?! That's what has gotten me into this mess is trying to kill someone.

I lay my head on the floor and sigh. I wish I was back at Hogwarts, being the gay couple with Draco. Being happy. Merlin, Draco and I shouldn't of fought yesterday. It's all my fault. And I know it. I miss him so much. My bloody life is over without Draco. I KNOW Hermione and Ginny will never talk to me again. He was the last thing I had left.

If I could only feel Draco's body by me. I need that great, fuzzy, warm feeling in my stomach. I cry harder into the carpet. I need Sid right now. I look out the window and I see the moon. I remember how stunning Draco looks in the moonlight. I scoff. Great, now I'm getting all sappy about him.

I see food slide under the doggie door the prats installed over summer. I look at it and gasp. What the bloody hell is going on?! It's a ACTUAL meal. I crawl over to it and pick up the note:

Harry,

This will only happen once. You aunt doesn't know. Live it up.

Uncle Vernon

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It's been 3 weeks since I've seen Draco. I've stopped eating. But it's not like I'm getting enough to fill me anyway. The Dursley's are having a Christmas party. I'm not to make a bloody sound. They told their friends that I was shipped overseas for a Disciplinary School and I only come back during the summer.

I lay down and imagine what Draco and I would of done this Christmas Eve. I smirk and take off my trousers when dirty thoughts flow into my mind. I slowly begin to wank off. I can almost taste Draco's skin. As more thoughts about Draco dominating me, the quicker my hand went.

I was so close to coming when the door bust open. I threw a blanket over my lower torso and my eyes shot to the door. I see Draco standing there, smirking.

"Wanking off about me, Harry?"

I blush. "How...What...Explain to me what the bloody hell is going on." I say, stumbling on the words.

He shuts the door and comes over to me. He kisses me softly and takes the blanket off. His hand runs on my erection and I gasp. "I came to get you, Luv. I would hate to spend Christmas without my lover." He coos softly into my ear.

I shut my eyes and throw my head back. I begin to move my hips into his hand. He leans over and begins to suck on my neck as his hand moves faster. I grab Draco's head and bring it to me and kiss him roughly. Draco's thumb ghosts over the head of my cock and I cum, moaning his name.

I collapse onto the bed, panting and spent. When I head slurping noises, I open my eyes to see Draco licking his hand off. I shudder and soak in the sight. So sexy. He wipes the rest of my come on my sheet and stands up. "Come on. Where leaving to Malfoy Manor." He says.

"How?"

"Floo power. Duah. I'm not a bloody moron like Weasel who likes to take his dad's car to a muggle world." He says.

I stand up and pull back on my jeans. I grab my wand out of my trunk and release Hedwig. "I don't know when I'll be coming back so I'm letting you go. You're a great owl, but you've gotta go." I say. I open up my window and let her fly away.

I grab Draco's clean hand and we head downstairs. I look around at all the stunned faces. "What the hell did you do to them, Drac?" I ask.

"I just came through the fire. Nothing special."

I laugh. "It's not everyday muggles see someone come from their fire." I tell him.

"What about the 'Santie Cause' bloke? Muggles always talk about him."

"He's not real."

Draco looks taken back. "Really?! This little girl told me she saw him in some store or something." He says.

I kiss his cheek. "Your so cute when your clueless about muggles." I say.

Uncle Vernon stomps over to me. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR ROOM!" He screams at me.

Draco pulls out his wand and mumbles something and causes him to fly back to the wall behind him. "Muggles are so bloody annoying." He grumbles.

"Tell me about it. I lived with them for 16 years."

I hear someone ask Aunt Petunia what a 'muggle' is. She fiddles with her hair. "Um...well..." She stumbles.

"It's non-magic folk. It's what YOU are." I snap.

A man walks over to Uncle Vernon and says, "I think your Nephew has gone bonkers!"

Draco glares at the man. "Don't EVER call my Harry 'bonkers.'" He growls before grumbling something and causing him to haul over in pain.

I drag Draco and go over to the fireplace and we stand in it. Draco pulls out some Floo power and yells, "MALFOY MANOR!" and I'm finally free from the hell hole.

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Author's Note: Hey everyone! I'm going to give this one more try. If I still get negative reviews, I'm going to delete it off. So give me a reason to keep this story on! I know. I'm such a whiner. Hope you all still like this story. (And did you notice the nice lime scene I added.) Review. Later.