Ok we're kicking back off from where we left them – ish, it's the afternoon after the night before and Nick is contemplating, as is Abby, but life goes on, you are going to get two chaps in one day here and still no personal reviews!! Sorry, (cheers to everyone who has reviewed it's on my list of things to do now my degree is sort of hanging safely in the balance so prepare yourselves for more updates! And review responses, they are high on my list, just not today's list!!??!), but let me know what you think… cheers K
Nick and Imogen and Lauren were sitting in Nick's kitchen, he was reading through Imogen's workbook as she and Lauren munched on their dinner, he looked up and over at them, smiling as he noticed the ketchup around Imogen's mouth, he glanced down at her plate, laughing slightly.
"You going to have any dinner with your ketchup Immy?" He asked still smiling at her. She looked from her plate and up to him grinning back. There was a soft knock on the door as they grinned at each other and he pushed his chair back, "Make sure you eat all the peas guys." He told them as he moved towards the door. He pulled it open to reveal a weary looking Abby on the other side.
"Hi." He started smiling at her a little. "Where are your keys?" He questioned.
"In my bag I couldn't be bothered to look for them." She told him as she made her way past and into the living room, dropping her bag on the floor, looking into his eyes.
"You ok?" He asked quiet empathy in his voice. She nodded back at him, rubbing her hand over her face and up through her hair, bringing it out of the ponytail lying at the base of her neck, sighing slightly. He hadn't seen or spoken to her since he left Jasper and Amelia's house the previous night and she looked exhausted. She looked up at him, running her hand through her hair again as she did. He took a step towards her and gathered her into his arms, smiling, sighing slightly as she laced her hands around his waist and laid her cheek on his chest, breathing in deeply and letting her breath escape slowly as she closed her eyes.
"You stay there all night?" He asked quietly as she nodded against him.
"Did Jasper go back there?" She asked quietly, moving back slightly in his arms and looking up at him. He nodded his response and she settled back against him.
"Abby." Imogen's happy little voice interrupted them as she wandered out of the kitchen trailed by Lauren, and they made their way over towards Nick and Abby.
"Hi." Abby smiled down at her as she approached, pulling herself away from Nick slightly as she glanced at Lauren as well.
"We went swimming at school today." Imogen told her, her eyes twinkling happily.
"You did hunh." Abby said as she looked down her hip still against Nick as his hand remained on her waist.
"Yeah and guess what." She said still happy.
"What?" Abby asked her, as she and Nick both looked down.
"I won all the races." She said grinning now.
"I won two too." Lauren added smiling up as well
"All of them?" Abby asked her eyebrows raised, smiling as Imogen nodded vigorously, obviously very pleased with herself.
"Yep every single one." She grinned. "I even beat the boys."
"Good for you." Abby smiled at her, running her hand through Imogen's hair. Sharing a quick smiled glance with Nick.
"Me and Lauren were on the same team." Imogen told her grinning.
"They don't normally let us be on the same team." Lauren told her grinning; it had clearly been a good day in their little four-year-old world as Lauren and Imogen switched places so Abby was running her hand through Lauren's curls.
"Did you finish your dinner?" Nick asked them as he moved from Abby's side, making his way back towards the kitchen.
"Even the peas." Imogen told him as she followed, and Abby trailed behind them, as Lauren continued to tell her all about their day.
"Can we have ice-cream?" Imogen asked looking up at Nick as he dumped their plates in the sink.
"Yeah, what flavour?" He asked looking down at her pulling open the freezer as Abby flicked the switch on his kettle.
"Chocolate." Imogen replied almost instantly.
"Chocolate too." Lauren followed as Nick pulled the carton from the fridge and doled some into two bowls, which he placed on the table as they grabbed spoons and clambered up onto chairs, tucking in happily.
"You two ok for a bit?" Nick asked looking down at the pair who nodded with their spoons in their mouths as he met their eyes. He grabbed Abby's hand as Imogen and Lauren returned to the task ahead and began to chat easily with each other. Abby glanced at him and let him lead her wordlessly to the couch as she held her tea in the other hand.
"What happened after we left?" He asked as they sat down next to each other. Abby shook her head, pouting slightly staring at the blank TV screen, sighing she rubbed one of her eyes for a second and looked over at him.
"I don't know, she…she…" Abby trailed off shaking her head looking away again. "This whole thing is so unfair." She frowned, still shaking her head, looking back to Nick, he was nodding, his jaw clenched as he ran his hand backwards through his hair and closed his eyes for a second. "Everyone has problems you know, everyone has history, but not like that, it's, it's…" She trailed off again looking away.
"Did she talk to you more about it?" He asked looking over at her kneading her temples with one hand; her eyes scrunched shut as she nodded.
"Yeah." She told him shifting slightly bringing her legs up to her chest as she looked at him. "She, I don't know, she's trying to make it disappear, she doesn't want to deal with it which I can understand." She accented, "But I don't know how you can make something like that go away, I can't see how she can deal with it and move on." Abby frowned sighing, her gaze never leaving Nick's.
"You know she will though right, I mean you know that she will get through it." Nick said an honest frown on his face.
"Yeah I know, I know she will but it's more that she shouldn't have to, it's not something that she should have to deal with." Abby said frowning running her thumb along the underside of her lower lip.
"Its not something anyone should have to deal with." He sighed stretching his legs out in front of him, looking away for a second.
"What's Lauren doing here?" Abby half frowned over at him.
"Jas asked if she could stay here tonight, I'm not sure if it was because he thinks Amelia needs some time or because she asked him to keep her away for a while." Nick said his face slightly sad
"Jesus Nick, if she doesn't even want to be around Lauren..." She said quietly shaking her head, sighing, staring back at the blank TV. Nick nodded wordlessly, putting his hand around her back as she leaned towards him. He pulled her into him as he sighed as well, picking up her hand, playing with it for a moment as he rested his chin on the top of her head and she closed her eyes.
"Why are you looking serious?" Imogen asked frowning at Nick as she and Lauren rounded the couch and perched on the coffee table in front of them, Nick slowly moved his head and looked down to her, smiling at her for a second as he noted her appearance, and Abby opened her eyes again.
"I'm not looking serious." He said half smiling as shook his head.
"Did you actually get any ice-cream in your mouth?" Abby frowned, a hint of laughter twinkling in her eyes as she rubbed one corner of Lauren's mouth with her thumb in a vain attempt to remove some of the gunk and Lauren pulled her head away.
"I got more on my top." Lauren said dismissively holding her top away from her chest for Abby to see.
"Mom's going to be thrilled about that." Abby laughed slightly at her.
"Is Lauren staying over tonight?" Imogen queried looking up at Nick. Nick started nodding at her.
"I think so yeah." He told her as Abby shifted slightly against him.
"Can we watch a movie?" Imogen asked bouncing up off the table, laying her hands on Nick's legs leaning towards him eagerly.
"Yeah, but you need to go wash your hands and faces first." Nick said as he attempted to rub the sticky chocolate of the knees of his jeans.
"No, Daddy." Imogen frowned, protesting slightly.
"No, look," He started slightly amused as he pointed to his pants, "I don't want chocolate ice-cream all over the apartment, you too Lo." He instructed sending them both scampering off.
"Should you go and supervise them." Abby asked smiling slightly tilting her head up at him.
"You think they'll try and drown each other?" He asked resignedly, his eyes twinkling slightly as she met his lips for a second.
"Not drown, but I think that the chances of them coming back dry are pretty low." She smirked as she pulled back.
"I think you're probably right." He agreed kissing her quickly again before standing up and heading for the bathroom and the ever growing sounds of giggling.
Twenty minutes later Abby had hardly moved, in fact all she'd done was stretch her legs out onto the coffee table and closed her eyes, cradling her mug of now cold tea as noise erupted around her and two now pyjama clad little girls came screaming into the living room. She quickly pulled her legs up onto the couch again as they aimed for the gap between the couch and coffee table, she got them out of the way just in time and was decidedly dubious about whether the kids would have stopped or just ploughed right through if she hadn't moved. They both slowed down and halted in front of the movie cupboard and Imogen flung the doors open with relish as they both plopped down onto their knees and began to inspect the collected treasures. Abby surveyed their backs for a second, they were kneeling side by side, Imogen in blue checked pyjama bottoms and a pink checked top and Lauren in the opposite ensemble, they both had wet hair and bare feet, she narrowed her eyes slightly in contemplation as she looked at them, turning her head as she felt Nick plop down beside her.
"You were right." Nick smiled at her; she shot him a slightly quizzical look. "The bathroom looks like a swimming pool." He laughed lightly, as she smiled slightly settling back into him.
"No we watched that one at your house." Imogen said taking the video in Lauren's hands away from her. "This one." Imogen said holding out a copy of 'lion king'.
"No, we told my Mommy that she got to watch it with us next time remember." Lauren said shaking her head, kneeling up straight to check on the higher shelves.
"Poppins." Imogen suggested with a flourish, pulling the video off the shelf.
"Yeah, or Chitty chitty bang bang." Lauren said pulling another one out.
"We decided." Imogen announced standing up turning around and pouncing on Nick, 'Mary Poppins' in her hand.
"That one or this one." Lauren said holding out the one in her hand and pointing at Imogen's.
"You're not allowed to watch this one." Nick said taking the film away from Lauren.
"Why?" She frowned up at him.
"You got nightmares last time, remember." He said looking down at Imogen.
"The man who steals the children is nasty." Imogen imparted seriously as she looked at Lauren.
"Oh." Lauren frowned.
"Ok, you can put it on in my bedroom." Nick told them; extracting the video from its box witch Imogen always struggled with and handing it back to her, sending them excitedly scampering off towards his room, leaving him and Abby alone. Abby shuffled again putting her mug down on the coffee table and then leaning back on the couch, tipping her head back onto Nick's outstretched arm, closing her eyes again.
"You tired?" He asked quietly, bending his forearm up round the side of her head as he started to play with the hair lying over her forehead, brushing it to the sides as he let it slip through his fingers.
"Not really." She said quietly, letting her breath escape slowly through her pursed lips. "Your daughter likes freakishly old school movies." She laughed slightly.
"As does your niece." He told her as he smiled.
"Jeez Nick, Mary Poppins, Chitty, chitty Bang, bang, and Charlie and the chocolate factory, they're going to have to get up to date soon." She half smiled at him, adding, "Otherwise their music taste is going to follow yours." She smiled rubbing her hand across the closest part of her face.
"That's what you and Amelia are here for, to get them into this teeny bopper, up to date culture, Jasper still calls the top ten the 'hit parade'." He grinned.
"We've got a lot to do then." Abby mused laughing slightly.
They lapsed into silence as he continued to play with her hair and she moved slightly into a more comfortable position against his shoulder. Nick lazily laid his feet up onto the table and she shuffled slightly further again letting her knees loll slightly into his lap. They remained silent both lost in their thoughts for a while.
Simultaneous thoughts – just so you know….
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She knew he was right, Amelia would get through this, she knew she would, she knew she had to. She was worried though, last night was weird, it had been some kind of turning point, certainly as far as her relationship with Amelia was concerned, she'd been allowed into a part of Amelia's history that she knew wasn't something Amelia would let just anyone into, but burning everything, this big display of irreverence, one big gesture, it didn't change the truth, it didn't change what had happened, and it didn't, it couldn't take away the feelings Amelia had about it, it didn't take away the images she must have in her head. Abby swallowed hard as she thought about it. Amelia had said that she didn't want her to feel guilty about it, and funnily enough she didn't, she didn't feel any guilt, the notion was plaguing her, should she? Should she feel responsible for it? The whole time Amelia had lived with them she'd been her responsibility, but it was Maggie who had gotten her taken away, usually she felt responsible for Maggie, for Maggie's actions, but not in this, this wasn't something realistically Maggie could have changed. Once she was gone, she was gone. The one thought that was eating away at her though was the idea that she'd thought she was better off without them, the idea, the memory of thinking that she was jealous, that she'd thought so many times about why they chose to take Amelia and leave her and Eric with this crazy woman who was supposed to be their mother. She hated the idea that she'd laid in bed as a thirteen year old, listening to Maggie in the next room with whichever guy she was with and wished that Amelia was there and she was gone; it was a bitter jealousy that had taken up so many nights of the first three months after Amelia was taken that now seemed so unconditionally wrong, so unfair. It wasn't until she figured out that Amelia was probably wishing the same thing in reverse that it had begun to fade. She laughed derisorily at herself as she laid against Nick's shoulder, at the sensibility she had as a thirteen year old to figure it out and the unbelievable irony of the situation and the old 'No guilt it's not our fault' mantra she and Eric had adopted running through her head. Fuck.
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He sighed slightly as Abby's ankle angled against his upper thigh, her was twisting her hair through his fingers as he stared out across the room, his eyes focussed on the street light shining through the window, and changed his actions, beginning to gently rake his fingers through her hair. Why did women's hair always feel so soft? Imogen's always did as well and she used the same shampoo as him, his never felt like this. He sighed slightly again as he stretched his back out a little. 'The last thing I want from all of this, from you finding out about this is pity.' Amelia's words were running through his head, he'd heard her say them time and time again over the last twenty-two hours. How the hell did someone not look pityingly on someone who'd had this happen? He had no idea what his reaction would be the next time he saw her, if she didn't want pity he didn't want to show it, he'd known her for over ten years, she'd been one of his best friends since the day she walked into Birdie and Ed's bar, she was like his little sister and his mother all rolled into one, except not even remotely like either of them, he couldn't even begin to count the number of nights they'd worked together or studied together or tried to calm down screaming babies together, every single one of which had resulted in Amelia's request for which ever one of their babes was there, and screaming, and her subsequent, inevitable effective calming down of the said child, all the stupid shit they'd talked about all the laughs they'd had and yet there was this one thing that was there, that he'd never known, he knew she'd been in care but every story she'd told about it made it sound like it hadn't been any different from anyone else's upbringing, she'd never shown any sign of it being something that had traumatised her, she'd never talked about it really, not to him anyway, but still, whenever they were talking about their childhoods she'd always come up with some funny anecdote that had implied that she'd had a happy one. He shifted slightly again as he thought, his hand still remaining in Abby's hair. How do you make knowing something like this not change your view of a person? She was right, she wasn't any different of a person to the one he'd known her to be two days ago but in some funny way she was, it had changed his view of her, of her reactions in the past and now, but in his eyes she looked even stronger. If Amelia could live with this, well she had to live with it, she didn't have a choice, but if she could; and her only request was for him, for them, for anyone not to pity her then he had to figure out a way to do it. To allow her that level of respect, god knows she'd earned it, he needed to make this not about his reactions to this, whatever else, there were two peoples reactions he was worried about, one was sitting next to him, smiling strangely into his chest and the other was sitting at her house, probably either wasted with her boyfriend or off somewhere inside the deepest darkest recesses of her memory trying to figure which way she had to go to get out.
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Ok, now we're going to kick right off again, give me a shout because I feel like I might be brushing this whole thing under the carpet slightly and it's not something you really can, I feel like I'm a little like I'm out of my depth here but there's another Abby/Nick response chapter to come so please, please anything anyone has to say is really, really very much appreciated! .XXxx K…..