Ok, here we go again…. I've posted this ch before and then took it away because, well because I'm an idiot, but anyway…. There's another one coming later today as well for those of you who've already read this one, there are a couple of changes at the end but other than that it's pretty much the same.
Ch 39
"Hi, can I come in?" Amelia whispered, a smile on her face as she poked her head around the door to see Susan sitting up in bed and Abby perched by her side looking down at the bundle in Susan's arms.
"Yeah, come in, come in." Susan said equally quietly, smiling back, beckoning Amelia in, holding her new baby son in her arms.
"I just wanted to come and see how you were doing." Amelia smiled at Susan.
"I'm fine, tired but fine." Susan smiled back at her.
"It's funny how twenty-three hours in labor will do that." Abby mocked her as Amelia leaned over her shoulder looking down at the baby.
"Twenty-three hours." Amelia said sympathy etched on her face as she almost grimaced at Susan, the smile still remaining on her face as she looked up from the baby though.
"How long did yours take?" Susan asked looking up at Amelia who'd taken a step back and crossed her arms looking at the mother and child, the genuine smile still on her face, the kind only a baby can extract. She laughed slightly before answering.
"Mine?" Amelia asked, a comedic chuckle on her face as Susan responded, genuinely interested.
"Yeah, how many hours did yours take?" Susan frowned slightly, as Amelia paused still smiling.
"Three." She told Susan an 'I'm really sorry but what can you do?' expression on her face as she wrinkled her nose.
"Three hours?" Susan's jealous reaction obvious on her face, as Abby laughed slightly, still looking down at the little boy whose fingers she had draped over her own.
"Yeah but I had to redeem myself through a crash C-section." Amelia smiled at her.
"Ok then maybe you're forgiven." Susan said looking back at her son running her hand through the downy hair on his head as Abby shot Amelia a quizzical look.
"Do you have names picked out?" Amelia asked smiling at Susan, missing Abby's look completely, her voice still hushed.
"Not yet, we're still debating it." Susan said smiling at her son.
Biggest I ever saw in OB was twelve pounds seven." Abby said continuing the conversation she and Susan had been having before Amelia's appearance.
Twelve pounds seven ounces." Amelia asked disbelievingly, a pained expression on her face as Abby nodded.
"How big was Lauren when she was born?" Susan asked.
"She was tiny, why how big is he?" Amelia queried.
"Nine pounds eight." Susan grimaced, Amelia's eyebrows rose in admiration.
"Tell me you got the drugs." Amelia frowned comedicly at her.
"God yeah, everything they offered I took." Susan laughed slightly.
"You're a brave woman Dr Lewis." Amelia smiled glancing down at the baby again.
"How big was Lauren?" Abby frowned at her a trace of a smile on her face though still.
"Four pounds two." Amelia said her eyebrows raised a smile on her face as she looked back up.
"That's really quite small." Susan said looking over at her.
"Yeah, she was a bit pathetic actually." Amelia smiled, laughing slightly. "Not like this little guy." She said smiling at the baby.
"I saw him in the nursery earlier and he's like twice the size of some of the others, he looks like the bouncer." Susan laughed slightly.
"Aww, come on, he's fine, he's cute." Abby smiled at him, as did Susan.
"So, what do you think?" Chuck asked quietly as he entered, a broad grin on his face, a box of cigars under his arm, he, like Susan was quite clearly extremely impressed with his first-born. Abby looked up and over at him, smiling still as she stood up and moved away from the bed, towards Amelia.
"Congratulations." She smiled as he beamed at them and kissed Susan quickly before settling his eyes on his baby.
"Did you ask?" He questioned looking at Susan.
"Yeah." She nodded at him before looking back at the baby.
"What do you think?" He asked turning to look back at Abby.
"I'm more than happy to do it, if you're sure you want me to." She smiled slightly at him.
"Of course we want you to." Susan said frowning slightly at her. Abby beamed, genuinely happy.
"I came up with a name." Chuck grinned looking back at Susan
"What?" Susan asked looking at him sceptically; all of his suggestions thus far had been decidedly unhelpful.
"Chuck Jr." He grinned.
"That's not coming up with a name that's copying your own name and we're not going to call him that." Susan told him decisively as Abby and Amelia laughed from behind him.
"Congratulations." Amelia said smiling, placing her hand on his shoulder for a second before heading for the door, followed by Abby who turned back to Susan quickly.
"I'll come by tomorrow." She smiled as Chuck began to protest the advantages of calling their son after his father.
"Ok." Susan smiled up at her quickly before turning back to Chuck, giving him a distinctly derogatory look as he continued.
"So what are you doing?" Amelia asked, her arms crossed as she and Abby made their way towards the elevators.
"When?" Abby frowned over at her.
" For them, what did they ask you to do?" She queried, tipping her head back in the direction of the room they'd just left.
"Oh, they, um, they asked me to be his godmother actually." She half laughed looking over at Amelia, a smile on her face.
"Hey, congratulations." Amelia smiled as they arrived at the elevators, Abby nodded and smiled over at her as the doors pinged and slid open. "So you're the one they've asked to teach him how to be naughty at school, how to drink, how to pick up girls." Amelia said with a smile on her face as they boarded the elevator, Abby inclined her head slightly in agreement as Amelia smiled at her adding, "They've not made a half bad choice." As the grins returned to both of their faces.
"So how are you doing?" Abby asked tentatively, brushing off the previous conversation, as they stood alone in the elevator. She'd seen Amelia a few times over the last three weeks and each of those times there had been an element within her, the look like she was putting on a front, like she wanted to pretend that she'd dealt with what they'd all been so worried about, yet it didn't seem to be there today, she seemed as though she was back to her normal Amelia-like self.
"Good; actually, very good." She smiled looking at the ground and then up and over at Abby who was looking strangely at her. "I had sex last night, actually I had quite a lot of sex last night." She smiled looking back down.
"Really?" Abby said quietly, a smile in her voice as she looked at the floor as well.
Mmmm." Amelia nodded, trying to stop a smile plastering itself to her face.
"So you and Jasper are…" She trailed off looking over at Amelia again.
"We're good, I think he was about to lose his mind actually, over three weeks of nothing was taking its toll on him." She laughed slightly looking over Abby.
"And you're…." Abby trailed off again a smile twinkling in her eyes as she looked for reassurance from Amelia.
"I'm good, I'm through it I think, I was thinking about going to talk to someone about it though." She admitted.
"Like a councillor?" Abby queried.
"Yeah, I thought I might, I thought it might help lay the whole thing to rest." She nodded slightly.
"Probably not a bad idea." Abby nodded at her, raising her eyebrows, pouting.
"Yeah, I've never been one to go in for that kind of thing though, and it's not like I'm depressed about it or consumed by it or anything or ever have been really, but I don't know, I don't want it to come back into my life again, I figured that talking to someone about it might give me some kind of closure, whatever that means; figured I might as well give it a shot." She shrugged slightly. "Although having said that I am standing here with Freud's reincarnation, you are going to go into psych right?" She laughed looking over at Abby, who shot her a 'shut up, you're an idiot' look, before smiling as the doors pinged open and released them into the ER "No, but you are right, I mean everyone up there sings your praises so you've got to be right?" Amelia pushed slightly.
"I don't know." She replied noncommittally, shrugging as she did, it was a possibility yeah, but there were still a number of possibilities left at this stage.
"I guess it helps if your attending has the hots for you." Amelia smirked slightly as they made their way through.
"Yeah, you want to tell Nick that." Abby raised her eyebrows slightly as they continued.
"I'm sure he'd be thrilled." Amelia quipped. "Do you not have to go through years of therapy yourself before they let you see real patients as a shrink anyway?" Amelia asked.
"Yeah, and I think maybe with our family history I'd be felled at the first post." Abby said smiling still as she rolled her eyes.
"Or you could pass with flying colours what with being so good at self protection and self adjustment and all." Amelia smiled, she knew that her older sister would be good at it. She knew she had it in her, and in all honesty if anything of the post she'd held for the last three weeks was anything to go by she knew that it was her forte, it was the role she should encompass, maybe it wouldn't make her part of the ER clan she'd been a part of for so long anymore but it would make her part of something she wanted to be and so for the sake of that she wanted her to pursue it.
"So how are you and Nick doing anyway?" Amelia asked, changing the subject as they walked through the ER.
"Ok." Abby nodded noncommittally.
"I heard you got the 'can I call you Mom?' question." Amelia said half smiling as they headed through the curtain areas; Abby shot her a look, a resigned, perplexed expression on her face.
"How did you hear that?" She frowned.
"Lauren asked Imogen if she'd asked you, they were whispering about it, but Lo's not that good with whispering anymore." Amelia smiled.
"They were talking about it?" Abby asked looking over at Amelia as they walked, Amelia nodded cautiously.
"What did you say?" She asked, almost laughing now.
"I told her she should talk to Nick about it." Abby shrugged.
"So." Amelia pushed.
"I don't know, he hasn't spoken to me about it so I'm guessing that he told her no." She shrugged.
"You know that she wants to be able to call you Mom though." Amelia said quietly as they reached the admit desk. Abby grabbed her arm spontaneously and pulled her into the lounge.
"Ok what has he, or she said to you about this?" Abby asked seriously.
"Nick hasn't said anything I swear, Imogen and Lauren have had a conversation about it and that's all I've heard." Amelia said shaking her head. Abby studied her face for a second ascertaining how genuine she was being. "I didn't mean to make you feel weird about this." Amelia told her honestly as she looked into Abby's face.
"Who said what to who?" Sam asked turning from her locker.
"Oh god." Abby said bringing her hands up to her face and flopping down on the couch resignedly.
"No, Sam can give you constructive advice on this, and Neela, Neela's always good for honest opinions." Amelia told her conclusively as she dragged Neela over and Sam sat automatically waiting to hear more.
"What's happened?" Sam asked looking genuinely interested and concerned at the same time as Amelia made Neela sit down.
"Are you going to tell her or am I?" Amelia asked as Abby brought her head up from the back of the couch and shot a look at her sister.
"Ok, no, ok." Abby started taking a breath looking towards Sam. "Has Alex ever asked you if he could call a guy you were seeing 'Dad'" Abby asked, her face clearly indicating the answer she was hoping for.
"No." Sam answered decisively. Abby sighed and tipped her head backwards again, "Why?" Sam frowned.
"Abby's boyfriend's daughter asked her if she could call her Mom." Amelia supplied the answer as Sam looked intrigued and Abby held her hands over her face. Abby took a breath as she looked back up and over at Sam.
"Ok, so if Alex asked you if he could call someone you were seeing 'Dad' what would you say?" Abby asked a concerned frown etching her forehead.
"I don't know, I don't think he would but it'd have to be pretty serious before I, or Alex even thought about it I think; sorry, but he does actually have a dad, a crappy one but one none the less." She said an apologetic smile on her face as Abby tipped her head back again.
"Ok, no right." Amelia started attempting to be decisive. "She's a great kid, how serious is this thing between you and Nick?" Amelia asked crossing her arms as Abby brought her head up again.
"It's getting serious," Abby said honestly looking at Amelia.
"Ok, how serious? Amelia questioned pouting.
"I'm not sure," Abby told her breathing deeply tipping her head back onto the back of the couch again. "But it's only been like four months." She frowned slightly.
"Ok, so do you think she's talked to Nick about it?" Amelia asked, a frown crossing her face again.
"Well she's talked to you about it so…" Abby retaliated, bringing her head back up.
"No she hasn't, she's talked to Lauren about it I just happened to be there." Amelia told her.
"I don't know; I want to think that we're beyond the tiptoeing around each other stage." Abby said biting down on her teeth hard as her bottom lip protruded and she shrugged with her eyes.
"Ok, so d'you think that you're going to be around for a while?" Amelia asked pulling out a chair and sitting down.
"What kind of a question is that?" Abby frowned at her.
"Well she has a point, I mean, if you're not going to stay with him then don't let her, if you are then there might be no harm in it." Sam said, shrugging slightly, looking a little perplexed.
"If I knew whether or not I was going to stay with him then life would be a hell of a lot easier." She frowned slightly, sighing.
"Where's her mother?" Neela asked frowning as she looked over at Abby.
"She buggered off with my daughters father when she was six weeks old." Amelia told her, a slight bitter edge to her voice.
"And does she see her at all." Neela asked her tone still soft as she looked at Amelia now.
"No, she never saw her again after they left." Amelia shook her head as Sam adopted a pained expression as did Neela, and Amelia sighed continuing. " Abby she's never had a mother and if she wants you to be it then if you're not all in on this thing with Nick then you need to get out quickly because I think that there's a possibility that she might be quite attached to you." Amelia sighed, her tone apologetic.
"She's not attached to me, she's attached to the idea of having a mother, not having me as a mother, which is probably a good thing for her sake." She muttered the last words as she rubbed her face again.
"I'm not entirely sure that's true." Amelia said quietly looking at her.
"Why, what's she said to you?" Abby asked, as she peered out from behind her hands to look over at her.
"She hasn't, she hasn't said anything to me, but before you and him got together since she was born he's had two other girlfriends, both of whom she hated, and I mean really hated, and in all fairness she was pretty accurate in her assessment of both of them, but that's a whole other story." She paused shaking her head, getting off track, rubbing her face for a second. "She's a sweet kid…well maybe not sweet." She cracked a smile as Abby smiled slightly back at her. "But she likes you, that much she has told me, and yeah, y'know, she does want a mother, she always has, but she picks her people, it's not something she just throws at random women in the street, talk to Nick about this, tell her 'no' by all means, but he's probably as freaked out about this as you are." Amelia finished shrugging slightly at her, a sympathetic smile on her face.
"It's not like I'm marrying the guy or even moving in with the guy, I've got no rights to her or anything she chooses to do, she's not my responsibility, I have no right to even be involved in this decision." Abby shook her head, resting her elbows on her knees as she looked at Amelia who was rubbing her fingers along her hairline frustration on her face, Abby's hands were clasped as her forearms lolled over the edge of her legs and she looked over at Amelia.
"Yeah, but you do if it's you that's she's asking, if you don't want her to then you get to tell her she can't, you're clearly not entirely uninvolved in this." Sam reasoned looking at her, a single mother, 'I know what's involved in this' edge to her voice.
"Abby." Amelia sighed, bringing her hands away from her face. "Talk to him, figure out what he feels about this, if you feel like she's not your responsibility then know that he feels like she's his responsibility, god, she is his responsibility, he knows that it's his job to protect her, it's like I know Lo's mine or Alex is Sam's, so maybe just talk to him. If you told her that she needed to ask him then rest assured she has, and know that he maybe doesn't know what to do about this, right, I mean Alex has always known he had a Dad, right?" Amelia said, turning to Sam, who nodded confirmation, " And Lauren knows that Jas isn't her real Dad, and she really couldn't give a shit about it…." Abby interrupted.
"Yeah but she…" Abby started as Amelia cut her off.
"Yeah but she's had him in her life for as long as she can remember." Amelia shrugged slightly again. "I never had to deal with this, I mean the first word that came out of her mouth was 'Daddy' and she said it as she pointed at him and he was thrilled about that but It has no bearing on the kid we're talking about." She frowned slightly, "Imogen's always wanted a mother, she's always known that her mother is out there somewhere, choosing to have nothing to do with her, which you know as a potential shrink could well fuck her up," Amelia frowned, "And now she's asking it of you, but she doesn't get why it's not fair after you having only been with her father for four months, all she knows is that she likes her dad's girlfriend and that her best friend's aunt is really nice to her best friend and her; and her Dad; and she stays in their apartment, that's all Jas is to Lauren and I am to Lauren, we wipe away the tears and we fix the things that are wrong and for her that's what you do; as their parents, it's what you do with Nick now you help fix the broken parts, you help wipe away the tears and I know you do, it might be an unfair pressure, and it might be something that she's projecting onto you because she just wants someone to be her Mom and you're well within your rights to tell her no and not explain to her why your answer's no, to leave it up to him." Amelia frowned a little as she continued, "but just tell her why, tell her that it's just not the time, tell her when Nick's there, get him to tell her too, just don't leave her hanging like it's something that she's done wrong and you've sent her off to her father to deal with, because that kid doesn't need another reason to feel like she's done anything else wrong, to drive anyone else in her fathers life away." Amelia sighed running her thumb over her eyes. "I'm sorry, I asked you about this and it wasn't…" Amelia trailed off shaking her head.
"It wasn't supposed to be this traumatic?" Abby threw her a bone a twinkle in her eyes as she spoke.
"It wasn't no." Amelia answered shaking her head.
"I'm not going to let her call me Mom, and not because of anything I may think about it, but because I think that if she does she's going to get hurt when all this ends, and, yeah, I don't want her to." Abby sighed.
"Fine, that's fine, but don't make it end because of this, talk to him." Amelia said quietly, pushing her slightly as she nodded encouragement.
"I will, I am, I will." Abby nodded back as she sighed into her hand.
Ok, there we go, let me know as ever, Thank you for the reviews I've had for the last couple of chapters!! K there will be another chapter later today…