A/N: Hi, guys. You wanna know what sucks? A crashing computer. Yes, genius
me somehow fried my laptop's motherboard in the middle of Chapter 12. So,
thinking it could be fixed, I started writing on my other computer. To sum
it up, I have the second half of Chapter 12 and the first three fourths of
Chapter 13 written and am missing Chapter 7- the first half of 12. I also
lost everything else so you guys are going to have to be extra supportive
and give lots of reviews for this one. I'll do my best to rewrite this
chapter. I think this will be its fourth rewrite (the original was awful).
Thanks guys! And thanks for all of Chapter 6's reviews. They really made me
happy!
I followed Ron back around the side of the house and up into it. He led me over to the stairs in the far corner and motioned for me to sit on the bottom step. I did so and looked up at him expectantly.
"Y-you can sit down too, you know," I told him, my voice not sounding like my own at all. He looked at me like he had just seen me for the first time, looked at the step I was sitting on, and sat on it as well. And, it was probably just my imagination, but I got the feeling he was trying to scoot as far away from me as humanly possible. "So, what's up?" I said, trying out my voice again.
"How've you been?" he burst out.
"Good, I suppose." Maybe so with all things considered. "And you?"
He paused and took a deep breath, then plunged ahead with whatever he had to say. "Hermione, I'm sorry," he whispered suddenly.
"What?"
"I'm sorry... for everything."
"Everything? Wow, that's a lot more than we have time to discuss right now," I snapped. He winced slightly, but I reminded myself that I just wanted to tell him whatever it would take to keep him out of my life forever. "Look, Ron, I don't need to hear it. There's nothing to apologize about. You left. That was your decision, and I have to respect that. I didn't ask you to stay. We didn't say it was anything more than a one night stand." He looked more hurt than before, though I was speaking very softly. He had no business being hurt anyway. That was my job. He left me.
"No, c'mon, Hermione. You have to hear me out. I was wrong to leave. I was your friend and I--"
"Listen, Ron. I really don't want to hear it. In fact, I think I've heard enough from you to last me a lifetime." I really did want to hear it. I needed to hear it. I needed to know what I had done. Why he didn't want to stay with me. I needed to understand what I had done wrong.
"Fine, Hermione. Whatever you want. I just wanted to make it clear that I was sorry. I'm still sorry; I'll always be sorry. We made a mistake, and I regret it. We ruined our friendship or whatever."
"Ron, three days isn't a friendship. We had a friendship in school. And if you can believe this, we managed to ruin that too." I was trying to hide my utter amazement that he could ever possibly regret it. It had been the most amazing night of my life. But, then, I regretted it too, right? Well, I certainly didn't regret Baker, but we really shouldn't have—it was even all too confusing for me to understand.
"It doesn't matter what you say. I did have feelings for you. I wasn't just out to get something. Just like in sch--"
"Don't talk about that to me," I told him.
"Sorry." He picked at the soles of his shoes for a moment. "It was good of you to come."
"Harry made me."
"Oh. Well, I'm glad we got to talk."
"Yeah," I agreed. I would've much preferred to say 'whatever' but that seemed a bit immature of me. At least now I could've settled things with Ron and never have told him about Baker. Harry wouldn't like the way I handled it, but I reminded myself it wasn't Harry's decision. I wasn't a teenager anymore; I could handle myself.
"So, I guess I better get back to the party," Ron said, making to stand up.
"Yeah, and I should probably go."
"You sure?"
"Absolutely."
"All right. Anyway, it was good to see you again, Hermione. How about I see you again before another four years pass?"
"Sure." Why was I agreeing to such ridiculousness? Why couldn't I just tell him that as long as it was up to me, I never wanted to see him again? It was because of those damn eyes he was looking at me with. He was sincere and he probably never had wanted to hurt me. I hated those eyes. They were my daughter's eyes. "Bye, Ron."
He turned and left me to sit there for a few minutes. I curled my legs up against my chest and rocked back and forth, completely lost in thought. It was different than the last time we had been together, that was for sure. Chills ran down my spine just thinking about it. It was that way his smile was so guilty and his eyes were so innocent. Why was he always there, camping out in the back of my mind?
I needed to forget this. I needed to forget everything. And I really did want to go home and be with my daughter and never see any of these people again. Every time I did, I kept getting hurt. Why risk it?
I decided once and for all I would go find Harry and tell him I was going home—where I belonged. I stood up and made for the door, but stopped just short of it. There were two male voices speaking and I knew exactly which one each belonged to. It sounded like they were talking about someone else very close to home as well.
"—the hell did you not at least tell me you were bringing her! I could've figured out something to say, at least," came Ron's voice.
"What does it matter?" Harry's asked back.
"Oh, c'mon, you know, Harry. Hermione and I aren't exactly on great terms."
"Not still over what happened in school surely?!" Harry asked in a fake shocked voice.
"No." Ron's voice got suddenly a lot lower. I leaned my ear straight into the keyhole so as to not miss a word of their conversation. "D'you remember that time I told you I went to Diagon Alley? The summer we got out of school?"
"Yeah," Harry went on, as if he saw no connection.
"Well, you see, I did meet some people from school there. One in particular... Hermione." I looked down at my hand and saw I was squeezing the doorknob.
"And..."
"And...well, we did some stuff we probably shouldn't have."
"Like?"
"Like kissing-- and... stuff."
Kissing? Pshht, is that what they called it nowadays?
"Oh," Harry said, acting like he was only just catching on. "So, you and Hermione like had a thing? There's a first," he said sarcastically.
"I know, I know," Ron grumbled. "We have some issues with that, but I think we might've finally sorted it all out."
Yeah, because that could be sorted out in five minutes.
"Oh, really?" Harry asked. "So, she told you about Baker and everything? That's great." I was squeezing the doorknob so hard, my knuckles were completely pale.
"Who's Baker?" Ron asked curiously.
I would've given up everything I owned for Harry not to answer that question. He had dragged me into this and he swore it was up to me to say what I had to to Ron. "Yo- Hermione's daughter."
A few seconds pause, then "WHAT?!"
A whisper from Harry: "Guess not."
I felt my doorknob moving and before I could even stop and realize what was happening—shit...
"Hermione, are you ok? Can you hear me?"
Somebody was down in my face, talking to me. I opened my eyes slightly.
"Oh, good, you're still with us," Ginny said, looking concerned. "You got hit pretty good there."
"I got some ice," the peroxide blonde said, walking behind me from in the kitchen. Of course, I knew perfectly well who she was now—Griselda.
"Help me up," I told Ginny in a slightly slurred voice.
"You really shouldn't get up yet," a male voice told me. I turned my head slightly to look up at the tall form of Anthony.
I ignored him and used Ginny's arm to pull myself up. "Where's Ron?" I demanded.
"God knows where he's wondered off to," Ginny said. "I think he felt pretty bad. You know, he hit you with the door."
"I noticed," I said, rubbing my head. "But I need to talk to him." I tried to walk forward but stumbled slightly. Harry reached out and grabbed my arm to steady me.
"I think he went out by the pond," he whispered to me.
"Thanks," I returned.
"You want some of this ice first?" the girl named Griselda asked. I ignored her too and walked out of the door and in the direction of the pond. Sure enough, Ron had seated himself on a bench next to it. He was looking into the water, apparently deep in thought. But, he looked up when I walked over and stood up to help me.
"Are you ok?" he asked. "I'm really sorry."
"I'm fine, but if you're really sorry, you'll stop apologizing."
"Maybe you should sit down," he suggested, ignoring me. "You aren't walking that straight."
"Whatever," I said and sat down on the bench. He sat down next to me.
"You weren't going to tell me, were you?" he asked quietly after a few minutes.
"What?" I asked, just trying to be difficult. He had known me long enough to know that I was just trying to be difficult.
"About your daughter," he said, sounding aggravated. "Why didn't you tell me about your daughter?"
"You don't have to worry," I told him, matching the tone of his voice. "She's not yours or anything." I don't know what made me say it. I didn't know why I couldn't just tell him the truth. All my lying was getting pretty out of control.
He didn't look so aggravated with me anymore. "That's not what I asked."
"That's what you meant."
"Hermione, I hope you'd know I'm not like that. You of all people."
"Listen, I'm sorry if this is hard on you for some reason, but it's been a lot harder on me."
"Ok, my bad. I'm sorry." I groaned. He looked down at his hands. "Sorry. I mean—no. I'll never do it again... wait-- never mind. What's her name?"
"Baker," I told him. "She has red hair." For some reason, I felt a need to add that comment.
"Who was her father then?" he asked, as though searching for his own voice.
"He's a man I met in France."
"D'you keep in touch with him?" he plowed on, seeming to getting braver with every question.
"No, it was a one time thing, sort of like you and me," I said, enjoying the effect of these words.
"Well... in France?"
"Yes, I was feeling sort of down. Sort of like I wasn't good enough and that's why no one wanted to be with me. In fact, I sort of went into a state of depression, you know? I needed to feel like someone wanted me." That was mostly true. I had felt all those things, and sure, I might've been tempted for an easy fix, but I supposed I was just too hurt to go out searching for guys. On the other hand, I had hardly ever even left the place I was staying at in France so there wasn't much chance of meeting anybody.
He looked away guiltily. "It's not that bad, though, you know? I love her so much; she's sort of been the light of my life when I thought it was never going to brighten up again."
He frowned. Of course, he didn't know. I had never given him a chance to know. Was that unfair? Of course there was always the little voice in the back of my head. He left you.
He looked up again. "But, the guy- he does know about her, right?"
"Her name's Baker. And why are you so concerned?" I answered icily.
"Because I am. But, he does know about Baker, right?"
"Uhm-yeah." I had no idea where I was going with this. I imagined having Ron looking for an imaginary ginger haired man in France named Chandler Oeuvre or something.
"So, he visits her?"
"No," I answered. "I don't want him to be involved in her life." Wow, I was getting good at this lying stuff.
"Oh. But, then, he pays for stuff, right?"
I didn't look at him, but blinked my eyes a couple of time, staring down at my lap and shook my head.
"What?! But, he should have too. It's his responsibility. He can't just ignore her. And you can't have to pay for everything. Look, Hermione, I'm sorry for leaving you and making you feel unwanted, but this is a person's child we're talking about. A person should be involved in their child's life. A person should at least get that chance! They should want that chance and be willing to work for it."
I wiped quick tears out of my eyes. "It's not important, Ron. You shouldn't get so worked up about it. We're happy."
"Fine, whatever. Your life, your decision, Hermione. Speaking of money, where do you work?" he asked.
"Excuse me?"
"Just wondering," he said, shrugging.
"Flourish and Blotts."
To my amazement, he actually broke into a smile. "You work at a bookstore. Who would've imagined that?"
I laughed too, thought mostly out of nervousness. "But, you seem to be doing all right with yourself too, don't you?" I asked.
"I guess."
"You're an auror, though, huh? Dream come true, right?"
"Yeah, I guess. I sort of feel like I'm missing something though."
"What? Like a girl? Griselda seems nice."
"Oh, you know about her, do you?"
"We've met."
"I saw."
"Yeah," I said, running out of things to talk about.
Ron looked me in the eye for probably the first time since he had first seen me here at his house. "Hermione, why weren't you going to tell me?"
Think! Think fast. "It was nothing personal. I hadn't seen you in four years; I figured you'd freak before I even got a chance to tell you about her."
"It's more than that," Ron went on. "I know you better than that."
"Well, you know, Ron, I really thought I loved you. Back then!" I combed my hair back from my face. I had to stay calm while lying. "And I basically let you have me in every way possible, and you left. You left me alone. And a couple of months later, I was pregnant. You weren't exactly the first person I wanted to talk to."
"I thought you said she wasn't mine. And you're sure she's not—I mean, the red hair and everything."
"Yes, I'm sure! But, it's really the principal of the thing. How was I supposed to feel like I could trust you?"
He opened his mouth to speak, but at that moment, we heard voices up along the side of the hill. A second later, we saw Ginny and Anthony walking over. Ginny gathered up a bunch of dandelions from the ground and handed them to Anthony. They were both laughing and seemed to be rather enjoying themselves. Ginny waved us over.
Both Ron and I made to stand up but he sat back down when I was on my feet. "You don't have to stay here," I said, looking at him.
"I'll be over in a minute," he told me.
I shrugged and made my way over to Ginny and Anthony. "What's up with him?" Ginny asked, glancing over my shoulder.
"No idea," I returned unemotionally.
"Here you go," Anthony said, tucking a one of the flowers behind my ear.
"Thanks," I told him, smiling. I got the feeling someone was watching us very closely.
"How's the knot?" Anthony asked. He pulled back a bit of my hair to look at it.
"That's going to leave a bruise," Ginny commented.
"Oh, and who made you such an expert?" I asked.
She stuck her tongue out at me. "So," she began casually, "why didn't you bring Baker?"
"This has been chaotic enough as it is," I explained.
"She's not that bad," Ginny said, laughing. "I thought she was just a little angel."
"Spend a few more seconds with her then." I looked around. "Where's Harry? And that Griselda girl?"
Ginny grimaced, but at that exact moment, a voice rang out, "That Griselda girl just came up here to find you guys."
"Oh, hey, Gris!" Anthony said. Ginny rolled her eyes at me, and I saw Ron finally get up from over at the bench and begin to walk over.
"Are you ok, Hermione?" Griselda asked in a convincingly concerned voice.
"Yeah," I said, smiling brightly at her through my teeth.
"Hello, Gris," Ginny said in what only I detected as a sarcastic voice.
"Ron, baby, where've you been?" Gris asked when he finally reached us.
"Oh, you know," he said, shrugging.
I guess I was the only one who would've found that answer unacceptable.
"Something weird just happened," Gris said, while wiping something off Ron's shirt.
"Really, what?" Ginny asked, sarcasm still dripping off her every word as though she doubted it was really that weird.
"Harry got an owl."
"Here?" Ron asked.
"That's weird," Anthony agreed. "Let's go see what it's about, shall we?"
We all walked back down to the party where a great deal of people, many crying, were gathered around someone. We fought our way to the middle of the pack to see Harry standing alone, apparently struggling against tears. I reached out to touch his shoulder. "Harry, what's going on?"
He looked at me, seeming to barely be able to contain him self. "Hermione, D-Dumbledore's dead."
"Oh, Harry," Ginny gasped. She pulled her arms around him and they leaned into each other's shoulders.
I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't believe it. There was no way Dumbledore could be dead. Dumbledore had fought through every battle; he had knocked down every barrier. He had survived both wars. He was the greatest wizard of the age. People like that didn't die. Weak people died. Dumbledore didn't die.
I turned and the first person I saw was Ron, standing there, a sort of deep sadness etched in his blue eyes. He sort of began to reach out toward me, but was interrupted by Griselda taking his arm, seeming not to have noticed his attempt to comfort me. Instead, I turned to Anthony and let him hold me in his strong arms, while I cried against his shoulder for a long time, with his hands running smoothly up and down my back.
But, I still couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched. By a pair of blue eyes.
A/N: Well, there you go. This took about a million edits to get right, but it finally is—sort of, I still don't like it that much. Basically, I've read this chapter so many times, I'm ready to beat myself over the head with it. Sorry for the length; there was a lot of dialog to fit in. Please, nobody kill me for not telling Ron about Baker yet because it had to go this way because it's my story and I said so and you'll just have to wait and see. Because I so love it when he finds out (which is now written only in my head). In the meantime, thanks for the patience. Patience is a virtue.
I'm trying to get all the people who reviewed after Chapter 6 sorry if I missed you.
PiNaYPeAcHiE: Yeah, it's really cool. Tension is fun to toy with, isn't it?
Alece: Thanks! Here's the long awaited update.
Tiffiany-45: Yey! I was predictable. Just kidding! Thanks for waiting I stole your phrase. Up there People are stating to threaten my life if I don't update. Yeesh.
Tiggieotoo: Everyone is so mean to Gris. It makes me feel bad, so I guess she'll have to end up with Ron. Just kidding!
Figure8: I'll give you a special spoiler since you love the sotry so much. Ron finds out he's a daddy in Chapter 12. It was a very good chapter. Hopefully it still will be when I rewrite it.
Shelby6: I did, I did!
WHENE?: Oh, honey, I hope you didn't go insane.
goddesgaia: All right, all right, thanks!
Shelby6: Thanks!
dee dee: Hope the end isn't too disappointing. I'm glad you liked it.
trinity23: Thanks buinches! Harry is sweet. Him and Ginny are going to try to fix everything and it's really great!
Mufleta: I'm glad! I feel the love!
MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus: Thanks! I'm trying to keep the wiritng going.
pattiweasley: Good. That you like this one. I hope that means it's not cliché.
Daintress: Guilty. But, in the story, he says it. He's not too hip on muggle songs, you know. You would be shocked how many song lyrics I use in stories. Actually, the 'never let your head' is from the song that basically wrote those first two chapter. Seriously I had to give it some cred. Corny, true, but I couldn't resist. I'm glad the dialogue was smooth. I try. When I get a chance, I promise I'll read one of your stories, but I'm really pressed for internet time right now.
mione grint: I'm glad you like it. Everyone is so mean to Gris though. Poor girl. Yeah, I would feel the same way if I didn't know how the story ended (mwahahahaha)
iluvjames7: I'm glad you liked it!
I followed Ron back around the side of the house and up into it. He led me over to the stairs in the far corner and motioned for me to sit on the bottom step. I did so and looked up at him expectantly.
"Y-you can sit down too, you know," I told him, my voice not sounding like my own at all. He looked at me like he had just seen me for the first time, looked at the step I was sitting on, and sat on it as well. And, it was probably just my imagination, but I got the feeling he was trying to scoot as far away from me as humanly possible. "So, what's up?" I said, trying out my voice again.
"How've you been?" he burst out.
"Good, I suppose." Maybe so with all things considered. "And you?"
He paused and took a deep breath, then plunged ahead with whatever he had to say. "Hermione, I'm sorry," he whispered suddenly.
"What?"
"I'm sorry... for everything."
"Everything? Wow, that's a lot more than we have time to discuss right now," I snapped. He winced slightly, but I reminded myself that I just wanted to tell him whatever it would take to keep him out of my life forever. "Look, Ron, I don't need to hear it. There's nothing to apologize about. You left. That was your decision, and I have to respect that. I didn't ask you to stay. We didn't say it was anything more than a one night stand." He looked more hurt than before, though I was speaking very softly. He had no business being hurt anyway. That was my job. He left me.
"No, c'mon, Hermione. You have to hear me out. I was wrong to leave. I was your friend and I--"
"Listen, Ron. I really don't want to hear it. In fact, I think I've heard enough from you to last me a lifetime." I really did want to hear it. I needed to hear it. I needed to know what I had done. Why he didn't want to stay with me. I needed to understand what I had done wrong.
"Fine, Hermione. Whatever you want. I just wanted to make it clear that I was sorry. I'm still sorry; I'll always be sorry. We made a mistake, and I regret it. We ruined our friendship or whatever."
"Ron, three days isn't a friendship. We had a friendship in school. And if you can believe this, we managed to ruin that too." I was trying to hide my utter amazement that he could ever possibly regret it. It had been the most amazing night of my life. But, then, I regretted it too, right? Well, I certainly didn't regret Baker, but we really shouldn't have—it was even all too confusing for me to understand.
"It doesn't matter what you say. I did have feelings for you. I wasn't just out to get something. Just like in sch--"
"Don't talk about that to me," I told him.
"Sorry." He picked at the soles of his shoes for a moment. "It was good of you to come."
"Harry made me."
"Oh. Well, I'm glad we got to talk."
"Yeah," I agreed. I would've much preferred to say 'whatever' but that seemed a bit immature of me. At least now I could've settled things with Ron and never have told him about Baker. Harry wouldn't like the way I handled it, but I reminded myself it wasn't Harry's decision. I wasn't a teenager anymore; I could handle myself.
"So, I guess I better get back to the party," Ron said, making to stand up.
"Yeah, and I should probably go."
"You sure?"
"Absolutely."
"All right. Anyway, it was good to see you again, Hermione. How about I see you again before another four years pass?"
"Sure." Why was I agreeing to such ridiculousness? Why couldn't I just tell him that as long as it was up to me, I never wanted to see him again? It was because of those damn eyes he was looking at me with. He was sincere and he probably never had wanted to hurt me. I hated those eyes. They were my daughter's eyes. "Bye, Ron."
He turned and left me to sit there for a few minutes. I curled my legs up against my chest and rocked back and forth, completely lost in thought. It was different than the last time we had been together, that was for sure. Chills ran down my spine just thinking about it. It was that way his smile was so guilty and his eyes were so innocent. Why was he always there, camping out in the back of my mind?
I needed to forget this. I needed to forget everything. And I really did want to go home and be with my daughter and never see any of these people again. Every time I did, I kept getting hurt. Why risk it?
I decided once and for all I would go find Harry and tell him I was going home—where I belonged. I stood up and made for the door, but stopped just short of it. There were two male voices speaking and I knew exactly which one each belonged to. It sounded like they were talking about someone else very close to home as well.
"—the hell did you not at least tell me you were bringing her! I could've figured out something to say, at least," came Ron's voice.
"What does it matter?" Harry's asked back.
"Oh, c'mon, you know, Harry. Hermione and I aren't exactly on great terms."
"Not still over what happened in school surely?!" Harry asked in a fake shocked voice.
"No." Ron's voice got suddenly a lot lower. I leaned my ear straight into the keyhole so as to not miss a word of their conversation. "D'you remember that time I told you I went to Diagon Alley? The summer we got out of school?"
"Yeah," Harry went on, as if he saw no connection.
"Well, you see, I did meet some people from school there. One in particular... Hermione." I looked down at my hand and saw I was squeezing the doorknob.
"And..."
"And...well, we did some stuff we probably shouldn't have."
"Like?"
"Like kissing-- and... stuff."
Kissing? Pshht, is that what they called it nowadays?
"Oh," Harry said, acting like he was only just catching on. "So, you and Hermione like had a thing? There's a first," he said sarcastically.
"I know, I know," Ron grumbled. "We have some issues with that, but I think we might've finally sorted it all out."
Yeah, because that could be sorted out in five minutes.
"Oh, really?" Harry asked. "So, she told you about Baker and everything? That's great." I was squeezing the doorknob so hard, my knuckles were completely pale.
"Who's Baker?" Ron asked curiously.
I would've given up everything I owned for Harry not to answer that question. He had dragged me into this and he swore it was up to me to say what I had to to Ron. "Yo- Hermione's daughter."
A few seconds pause, then "WHAT?!"
A whisper from Harry: "Guess not."
I felt my doorknob moving and before I could even stop and realize what was happening—shit...
"Hermione, are you ok? Can you hear me?"
Somebody was down in my face, talking to me. I opened my eyes slightly.
"Oh, good, you're still with us," Ginny said, looking concerned. "You got hit pretty good there."
"I got some ice," the peroxide blonde said, walking behind me from in the kitchen. Of course, I knew perfectly well who she was now—Griselda.
"Help me up," I told Ginny in a slightly slurred voice.
"You really shouldn't get up yet," a male voice told me. I turned my head slightly to look up at the tall form of Anthony.
I ignored him and used Ginny's arm to pull myself up. "Where's Ron?" I demanded.
"God knows where he's wondered off to," Ginny said. "I think he felt pretty bad. You know, he hit you with the door."
"I noticed," I said, rubbing my head. "But I need to talk to him." I tried to walk forward but stumbled slightly. Harry reached out and grabbed my arm to steady me.
"I think he went out by the pond," he whispered to me.
"Thanks," I returned.
"You want some of this ice first?" the girl named Griselda asked. I ignored her too and walked out of the door and in the direction of the pond. Sure enough, Ron had seated himself on a bench next to it. He was looking into the water, apparently deep in thought. But, he looked up when I walked over and stood up to help me.
"Are you ok?" he asked. "I'm really sorry."
"I'm fine, but if you're really sorry, you'll stop apologizing."
"Maybe you should sit down," he suggested, ignoring me. "You aren't walking that straight."
"Whatever," I said and sat down on the bench. He sat down next to me.
"You weren't going to tell me, were you?" he asked quietly after a few minutes.
"What?" I asked, just trying to be difficult. He had known me long enough to know that I was just trying to be difficult.
"About your daughter," he said, sounding aggravated. "Why didn't you tell me about your daughter?"
"You don't have to worry," I told him, matching the tone of his voice. "She's not yours or anything." I don't know what made me say it. I didn't know why I couldn't just tell him the truth. All my lying was getting pretty out of control.
He didn't look so aggravated with me anymore. "That's not what I asked."
"That's what you meant."
"Hermione, I hope you'd know I'm not like that. You of all people."
"Listen, I'm sorry if this is hard on you for some reason, but it's been a lot harder on me."
"Ok, my bad. I'm sorry." I groaned. He looked down at his hands. "Sorry. I mean—no. I'll never do it again... wait-- never mind. What's her name?"
"Baker," I told him. "She has red hair." For some reason, I felt a need to add that comment.
"Who was her father then?" he asked, as though searching for his own voice.
"He's a man I met in France."
"D'you keep in touch with him?" he plowed on, seeming to getting braver with every question.
"No, it was a one time thing, sort of like you and me," I said, enjoying the effect of these words.
"Well... in France?"
"Yes, I was feeling sort of down. Sort of like I wasn't good enough and that's why no one wanted to be with me. In fact, I sort of went into a state of depression, you know? I needed to feel like someone wanted me." That was mostly true. I had felt all those things, and sure, I might've been tempted for an easy fix, but I supposed I was just too hurt to go out searching for guys. On the other hand, I had hardly ever even left the place I was staying at in France so there wasn't much chance of meeting anybody.
He looked away guiltily. "It's not that bad, though, you know? I love her so much; she's sort of been the light of my life when I thought it was never going to brighten up again."
He frowned. Of course, he didn't know. I had never given him a chance to know. Was that unfair? Of course there was always the little voice in the back of my head. He left you.
He looked up again. "But, the guy- he does know about her, right?"
"Her name's Baker. And why are you so concerned?" I answered icily.
"Because I am. But, he does know about Baker, right?"
"Uhm-yeah." I had no idea where I was going with this. I imagined having Ron looking for an imaginary ginger haired man in France named Chandler Oeuvre or something.
"So, he visits her?"
"No," I answered. "I don't want him to be involved in her life." Wow, I was getting good at this lying stuff.
"Oh. But, then, he pays for stuff, right?"
I didn't look at him, but blinked my eyes a couple of time, staring down at my lap and shook my head.
"What?! But, he should have too. It's his responsibility. He can't just ignore her. And you can't have to pay for everything. Look, Hermione, I'm sorry for leaving you and making you feel unwanted, but this is a person's child we're talking about. A person should be involved in their child's life. A person should at least get that chance! They should want that chance and be willing to work for it."
I wiped quick tears out of my eyes. "It's not important, Ron. You shouldn't get so worked up about it. We're happy."
"Fine, whatever. Your life, your decision, Hermione. Speaking of money, where do you work?" he asked.
"Excuse me?"
"Just wondering," he said, shrugging.
"Flourish and Blotts."
To my amazement, he actually broke into a smile. "You work at a bookstore. Who would've imagined that?"
I laughed too, thought mostly out of nervousness. "But, you seem to be doing all right with yourself too, don't you?" I asked.
"I guess."
"You're an auror, though, huh? Dream come true, right?"
"Yeah, I guess. I sort of feel like I'm missing something though."
"What? Like a girl? Griselda seems nice."
"Oh, you know about her, do you?"
"We've met."
"I saw."
"Yeah," I said, running out of things to talk about.
Ron looked me in the eye for probably the first time since he had first seen me here at his house. "Hermione, why weren't you going to tell me?"
Think! Think fast. "It was nothing personal. I hadn't seen you in four years; I figured you'd freak before I even got a chance to tell you about her."
"It's more than that," Ron went on. "I know you better than that."
"Well, you know, Ron, I really thought I loved you. Back then!" I combed my hair back from my face. I had to stay calm while lying. "And I basically let you have me in every way possible, and you left. You left me alone. And a couple of months later, I was pregnant. You weren't exactly the first person I wanted to talk to."
"I thought you said she wasn't mine. And you're sure she's not—I mean, the red hair and everything."
"Yes, I'm sure! But, it's really the principal of the thing. How was I supposed to feel like I could trust you?"
He opened his mouth to speak, but at that moment, we heard voices up along the side of the hill. A second later, we saw Ginny and Anthony walking over. Ginny gathered up a bunch of dandelions from the ground and handed them to Anthony. They were both laughing and seemed to be rather enjoying themselves. Ginny waved us over.
Both Ron and I made to stand up but he sat back down when I was on my feet. "You don't have to stay here," I said, looking at him.
"I'll be over in a minute," he told me.
I shrugged and made my way over to Ginny and Anthony. "What's up with him?" Ginny asked, glancing over my shoulder.
"No idea," I returned unemotionally.
"Here you go," Anthony said, tucking a one of the flowers behind my ear.
"Thanks," I told him, smiling. I got the feeling someone was watching us very closely.
"How's the knot?" Anthony asked. He pulled back a bit of my hair to look at it.
"That's going to leave a bruise," Ginny commented.
"Oh, and who made you such an expert?" I asked.
She stuck her tongue out at me. "So," she began casually, "why didn't you bring Baker?"
"This has been chaotic enough as it is," I explained.
"She's not that bad," Ginny said, laughing. "I thought she was just a little angel."
"Spend a few more seconds with her then." I looked around. "Where's Harry? And that Griselda girl?"
Ginny grimaced, but at that exact moment, a voice rang out, "That Griselda girl just came up here to find you guys."
"Oh, hey, Gris!" Anthony said. Ginny rolled her eyes at me, and I saw Ron finally get up from over at the bench and begin to walk over.
"Are you ok, Hermione?" Griselda asked in a convincingly concerned voice.
"Yeah," I said, smiling brightly at her through my teeth.
"Hello, Gris," Ginny said in what only I detected as a sarcastic voice.
"Ron, baby, where've you been?" Gris asked when he finally reached us.
"Oh, you know," he said, shrugging.
I guess I was the only one who would've found that answer unacceptable.
"Something weird just happened," Gris said, while wiping something off Ron's shirt.
"Really, what?" Ginny asked, sarcasm still dripping off her every word as though she doubted it was really that weird.
"Harry got an owl."
"Here?" Ron asked.
"That's weird," Anthony agreed. "Let's go see what it's about, shall we?"
We all walked back down to the party where a great deal of people, many crying, were gathered around someone. We fought our way to the middle of the pack to see Harry standing alone, apparently struggling against tears. I reached out to touch his shoulder. "Harry, what's going on?"
He looked at me, seeming to barely be able to contain him self. "Hermione, D-Dumbledore's dead."
"Oh, Harry," Ginny gasped. She pulled her arms around him and they leaned into each other's shoulders.
I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't believe it. There was no way Dumbledore could be dead. Dumbledore had fought through every battle; he had knocked down every barrier. He had survived both wars. He was the greatest wizard of the age. People like that didn't die. Weak people died. Dumbledore didn't die.
I turned and the first person I saw was Ron, standing there, a sort of deep sadness etched in his blue eyes. He sort of began to reach out toward me, but was interrupted by Griselda taking his arm, seeming not to have noticed his attempt to comfort me. Instead, I turned to Anthony and let him hold me in his strong arms, while I cried against his shoulder for a long time, with his hands running smoothly up and down my back.
But, I still couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched. By a pair of blue eyes.
A/N: Well, there you go. This took about a million edits to get right, but it finally is—sort of, I still don't like it that much. Basically, I've read this chapter so many times, I'm ready to beat myself over the head with it. Sorry for the length; there was a lot of dialog to fit in. Please, nobody kill me for not telling Ron about Baker yet because it had to go this way because it's my story and I said so and you'll just have to wait and see. Because I so love it when he finds out (which is now written only in my head). In the meantime, thanks for the patience. Patience is a virtue.
I'm trying to get all the people who reviewed after Chapter 6 sorry if I missed you.
PiNaYPeAcHiE: Yeah, it's really cool. Tension is fun to toy with, isn't it?
Alece: Thanks! Here's the long awaited update.
Tiffiany-45: Yey! I was predictable. Just kidding! Thanks for waiting I stole your phrase. Up there People are stating to threaten my life if I don't update. Yeesh.
Tiggieotoo: Everyone is so mean to Gris. It makes me feel bad, so I guess she'll have to end up with Ron. Just kidding!
Figure8: I'll give you a special spoiler since you love the sotry so much. Ron finds out he's a daddy in Chapter 12. It was a very good chapter. Hopefully it still will be when I rewrite it.
Shelby6: I did, I did!
WHENE?: Oh, honey, I hope you didn't go insane.
goddesgaia: All right, all right, thanks!
Shelby6: Thanks!
dee dee: Hope the end isn't too disappointing. I'm glad you liked it.
trinity23: Thanks buinches! Harry is sweet. Him and Ginny are going to try to fix everything and it's really great!
Mufleta: I'm glad! I feel the love!
MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus: Thanks! I'm trying to keep the wiritng going.
pattiweasley: Good. That you like this one. I hope that means it's not cliché.
Daintress: Guilty. But, in the story, he says it. He's not too hip on muggle songs, you know. You would be shocked how many song lyrics I use in stories. Actually, the 'never let your head' is from the song that basically wrote those first two chapter. Seriously I had to give it some cred. Corny, true, but I couldn't resist. I'm glad the dialogue was smooth. I try. When I get a chance, I promise I'll read one of your stories, but I'm really pressed for internet time right now.
mione grint: I'm glad you like it. Everyone is so mean to Gris though. Poor girl. Yeah, I would feel the same way if I didn't know how the story ended (mwahahahaha)
iluvjames7: I'm glad you liked it!