Ok, second one today here we go again….
I haven't said that I don't own anything in a while, but I still don't just so you know.
Ch 40
Abby slipped her key into the bolt on Nick's door and pushed lightly, Amelia was right, she did have to talk to Nick about this, about what he was going to do about this, and in reality she should really talk to Imogen about it as well, it wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to. She sighed as the door swung open. She dumped her bag on the floor and made her way through the apartment, it was strangely quiet, it was fairly rare that there was no noise at all in this apartment.
"Now." Nick's raised voice greeted her from the kitchen, she rounded the corner to see him standing there, his arm stretched and pointing out of the door as he looked down at Imogen his face like thunder, hers baring the exact same expression as she stared hard back up at him.
"What's going on?" Abby asked frowning a little as she looked from Nick to Imogen and back, he glanced at her and then back to Imogen whose face was set like stone as tears shone at the back of her eyes, her resilience was not about to be broken.
"Imogen don't make me tell you twice." Nick said sternly, shaking his head, his voice holding a warning tone as he continued to point in the direction of her bedroom. Imogen took her eyes off his and looked to Abby for a second before letting her eyes drift to the floor as she began to move, Abby bent to catch her as she made her way past, but she was shaken off as Imogen pulled her body away and continued determinedly on her route, pushing her door gently shut as she reached her bedroom.
"What was that about?" Abby asked frowning as she looked from Imogen's door back to Nick. He shook his head and sighed.
"Nothing." He told her his jaw set as he turned towards the sink and began to run the water. She stood watching him for a moment, a frown etched on her forehead as she looked from his back to Imogen's door and back again, she started to move towards him slowly, resting her hip against the counter as she arrived beside him, bending around to try to catch his eye.
"Nick." She pushed gently as he turned his head to meet her concern filled eyes. He sighed again, throwing the dishcloth into the sink and turning the faucet off.
"She's been asking me the same fucking question for like a week and I keep giving her the same bloody answer and she wont accept it." He said shaking his head reaching up and pulling a cupboard open aggressively, bringing out a packet of spaghetti.
"What question?" Abby frowned as he started banging pots and pans around her.
"It doesn't matter." He shook his head, grabbing the kettle and filling it, violently slamming the lid shut as he plugged it in and flicked the switch, turning back to grab a tin of tomatoes and the can opener.
"Stop it." She said, grabbing the things out of his hands, frowning still, he sighed and relented as he relinquished the items and rubbed at his face as she placed them on the worktop and looked back to him, moving her head to try to catch his eyes as he looked away. "Nick." She tried again, her voice empathetic. He took a final deep, cleansing breath as he looked back to her.
"She keeps asking me why she can't call you Mom." He said, shaking his head, rubbing one of his eyes before moving to scratch his forehead and looking back down at her. "And it's driving me fucking crazy, she won't let up, and I didn't want you to know about it because I know that that's not something you want, and it's not really something that I want her do, not now anyway, I don't want her to get you freaked out about this because I don't want you to run from this but it's too much at the moment, she's just, she's… I shouldn't have yelled at her about it, but she's not giving up, She's not accepting that it's something that you won't want or that I'm telling her she can't do." He said shaking his head his eyes closed.
"She asked me if she could as well." She said quietly looking away from him for a second, moving one of her hands to rest on her hip.
"When?" Nick frowned bringing his eyes back to hers.
"Last week some time, I told her she needed to talk to you about it, I figured you'd said no and that was the end of it." She replied quietly, glancing at him and then away again.
"God I'm sorry." He shook his head, a pained expression on his face.
"Why are you sorry." She asked looking back at him quizzically.
"Because you don't want this, you don't need this and you shouldn't have to deal with it." He shook his head, looking away, pained.
"Don't decide what I want for me." Abby countered shaking her head, frowning.
"So you do want this?" Nick asked, clear scepticism in his voice as his eyebrows rose.
"No, not now, it's too soon, but it's not like I'm completely unwilling to deal with it." Abby frowned up at him, shaking her head.
"She gets bullied because she doesn't have a mother, and the reality of the situation is that she never will, and that's my fault, but asking you about it makes it look like that's what I'm after for her and it's not." He paused taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and shaking his head. " I thought we were doing fine y'know, her and me, it was ok, she came home and said that she'd been told various things by other kids about the fact she didn't have a Mom and I told her they were assholes and that was that but now." He shook his head. "It's like she can see everything she wants in you, and she can't see that it doesn't work that way." He rubbed at his eyes sighing again, Abby looked away pouting slightly, her jaw setting.
"Nick, I'm with you on this, it's not something that she should do, and not necessarily because I don't want her to do it but because it is, it's too soon, and it did, it freaked me out, but I like this, what's going on now, here." She paused indicating between their bodies looking back up to him as he moved his hands down from his face to rest on his hips. "….D'you know, I was, I was thinking about running away, I was thinking about bolting, getting away from this because it was all getting to much, to quickly." She paused tearing her eyes from his, pausing. "And…" She frowned slightly at herself before looking back at him. "and maybe I still feel that way, a bit, but I'm not about to break your daughters heart, I don't want to be responsible for that, and I don't want this to end." She shook her head, swallowing. They locked eyes for a second, and slowly he reached for her, pulling her towards him as she slipped her hands around his waist and he sighed into her hair, letting his body relax into hers. "This has really stressed you out hasn't it?" She smiled slightly into his chest, a hint of laughter in her tone.
"It actually has yeah." He conceded nodding against the top of her head.
"D'you want me to talk to her?" She asked pulling away slightly looking up at him.
"You don't have to do that." He shook his head frowning a little in honesty as he met her eyes.
"No, I know I don't but d'you want me to?" She asked, her eyebrows raised as she offered.
"You probably can't do any worse of a job than me." He laughed slightly smiling a resigned smile.
"Oh, well there's confidence for you." She smiled back.
"Thank you." He nodded once at her, his tone suddenly serious and grateful.
"It's the least I can do, since this whole thing is my fault." Abby half smiled rolling her eyes.
"I'm not sure I'd go that far but if you insist, go and sought my daughter out." He smiled genuinely at her, his tone playful, as she smiled back at him and headed for Imogen's now open door and he turned back to his dinner preparations.
"Nick." Abby's voice interrupted him two seconds later, a warning edge clear as she appeared back in the kitchen doorway.
"What?" He frowned quizzically at her.
"She's not there." Abby said shaking her head, a 'this isn't good' look in her eyes.
"What?" He said the question still in his voice as he threw down the knife in his hand with a clatter and made his way past to check in her room himself. They turned in unison from her empty room to look at the front door, which was hanging open, the expanse of the hallway horribly evident. "Fuck, not again." Nick said under his breath as he bolted for the door, Abby hot on his heals. They both bounded down the stairs Nick flung the already open front door open even wider as they stood at the top of the steps, scanning the street in both directions. Nick squinted into the sunlight scanning the people milling along the street, there weren't that many, but still, Imogen wasn't visible amongst them.
"Hey, there." Abby said grabbing his arm and pointing at Imogen's little form heading determinedly away from them. Nick practically jumped the steps as he flew towards Imogen, Abby following.
"Imogen." He yelled as he approached. She turned as she heard her voice called and spotted them racing towards her, her eyes grew wide as she turned back to the sidewalk ahead and gained pace, quickly hitting a four year old sprint as she tried to escape. Nick was covering the ground much faster however and scooped her up under one arm as he reached her, his pace slowing as he did.
"No." She shouted frowning and wriggling, lashing out with her cast arm as he had her caught and Abby arrived beside them.
"Why d'you keep running away." Nick said angrily as he placed her on the ground holding her shoulders as he bent towards her face, breathing heavily as the adrenaline pumping through his body began to subside. "D'you have any idea what could happen to you?" He asked still angry as he shook her shoulders and she remained defiantly silent. "Imogen you can't keep doing this." He shook his head as his grip tightened and he stopped shaking her and looked into her eyes. "What the hell's the matter with you, other kids don't do this." He frowned at her, asking himself more than her as he hung his head and looked down at the ground, sighing before standing up straight and pulling her body towards his legs, holding her firmly against him as she buried her head in his thigh, and he rubbed his thumb over her hair. "Jesus Imogen." He sighed in a whisper, closing his eyes tipping his head back sighing heavily. Abby remained silent throughout the exchange, watching the pair, her hands on her hips. "This scares me Imm, it scares me when you disappear." He started again pulling her body away from his and bending to her eyelevel again, his hands resting on his knees, she stared hard down at the floor, her arms hanging limply by her sides. "Where were you going?" He asked shaking his head.
"Lauren's house." She mumbled, her voice barely audible as she continued to stare at the ground.
"What?" He asked, not quite catching her words.
"Lauren's house." She mumbled again.
"Well you weren't going to get there, Lauren's house is that way." He said pointing behind her, over her shoulder. She looked up at him and then backwards over her shoulder before looking back towards him as he looked expectantly at her. She looked back at the ground for a second, suddenly turning on her heel and starting off in the other direction determinedly. Nick stood up and raised his arms in a 'what the fuck do you think you're doing now?' gesture, scratching his head and looking over at Abby who glanced at him before moving to head after Imogen. He let her, he was at a loss at the moment, he'd never felt quite this badly about the life he'd given her before, and he thought the life she was leading at the moment was the best she'd ever had, she spent most of her time acting like it was except maybe it wasn't maybe she wanted things back the way they'd always been. If that was what she wanted, what she needed, he'd sacrifice it for her, begrudgingly, but he would.
Abby took Imogen's hand as she caught up with her, causing Imogen to look up at her.
"Are you coming to Lauren's house too?" Imogen asked quietly.
"Is that where you're going?" Abby asked looking straight ahead. Imogen nodded and said nothing as Abby glanced at the top of her head. "I thought that I'd go home actually." Abby told her looking away again. She waited a couple of seconds before speaking again. "You going to come?" She asked looking down.
"Home?" Imogen questioned meeting Abby's eyes as she looked up at her.
"Yeah." Abby nodded, biting her lip slightly, her tone light, Imogen continued to look at her and allowed Abby to lead her up the steps and back into the building. Abby heaved a huge inward sigh of relief as Imogen relented surprisingly easily and allowed herself to be guided back to the apartment, what she planned to do next may not be as easy however.
She deposited Imogen back in her room, and headed for the kettle, filling a mug with steaming water and a tea bag, she took a seat at the kitchen table, watching the brown liquid undulate languidly through the clear water, staring into it's depths, playing idly with the string hanging over the edge until the mug was filled with the rich murky liquid. Nick had still not reappeared, he'd seemed pretty upset before, maybe not upset but frustrated certainly, she wasn't sure if she wanted him here to do this or not. She pushed her chair back and stood up, throwing the tea bag into the sink as she cradled the mug in her hands and made her way to Imogen's door, knocking lightly and pushing it open. She looked down at Imogen who was sitting cross-legged on the floor paper in front of her and pens in her hand, craning her neck to look up at Abby now.
"D'you mind if I come in?" Abby asked quietly looking down. Imogen shook her head exaggeratedly indicating that she didn't mind, looking back down to the drawing in front of her. Abby made her way into the room and took a seat beside Imogen on the floor, her body pulling itself into the same cross-legged form as Imogen's as she sipped from her mug, her shoulders slightly hunched as the afternoon light filtered through the window. "What are you drawing?" She asked looking over and down, still clasping her mug somewhere near her lips.
"A picture." Imogen replied not looking up. Abby nodded slightly, smiling a little at the brilliantly imparted and helpfully informative piece of information.
"So why did you want to go to Lauren's house?" She asked looking down at the dark head and concentrated face as Imogen scribbled at the paper on the floor. She shrugged, concentrating on the paper in front of her, staying silent. "D'you think that maybe you should have asked your Dad if you could go?" She asked again taking another sip from her mug. Imogen paused her frenzied scribbling and looked over.
"He was mad, he wouldn't have letted me go." She said quietly.
"You decided to go anyway?" Abby asked, she'd figured out that if you asked Imogen straight questions invariably she answered them.
"I wanted to go see Lauren." She said still looking up, her eyes twinkling slightly.
"Imm, I don't think that he was really that mad, he didn't seem mad when I was talking to him." She half shrugged looking down.
"That's 'cause he's not mad with you." She asserted looking back to her picture, putting the pen down now and staring numbly at it.
"True maybe." Abby nodded taking another sip from her mug. "I still don't think he was really mad though." She told her pausing, swallowing; this was it, it was now or never, she needed to have this conversation. "Is all this about what you asked me last week?" She asked after a slight pause, looking over at her, as she brought her head up to look back, she had a slightly confused look on her face, and so Abby continued. "When you asked me if you could call me Mom?" She asked quietly her eyebrows raised.
"I asked Daddy too and he said no." She said looking away.
"Did he tell you why he said no?" She asked quietly, her gaze still fixed on Imogen.
"He just said that I wasn't 'lowed." She said quietly looking back up meeting Abby's eyes again.
"I think that maybe he's right." Abby said empathetically as Imogen ripped her eyes from Abby's and sat silently. "Do you want to know why I think he's right?" She asked quietly.
"Because you don't want to be my Mom." Imogen said quietly, pouting a bit.
"No, that's not why." Abby told her calmly, shaking her head as Imogen turned her head again.
"So you do want to be my Mom, 'cause I want you to be." She said her hopes rising as her eyes gathered some excitement about the prospect of persuasion. Abby smiled down at her momentarily, before sighing and carrying on.
"The reason I think it is and I think Daddy thinks that you probably shouldn't is because we're all pretty new to this right? I mean I've only been hanging out with you guys for a little while, and I think that we need to see how things go for a while longer before we talk about this." She tried to explain quietly. "Sweetie, I'm not your Mom." Abby said quietly, smiling a little as she ran her hand through Imogen's hair, as Imogen continued to look eagerly at her, traces of a frown crossing her face. "But just calling me something else still doesn't make me, even if you did start calling me that it wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't make me anymore your Mom than I was before, and I already told you that we're friends right? That's not going to change, and I'm not going to go anywhere." She pouted slightly as Imogen's frown began to take hold of her face fully and she pushed herself up, Abby pursed her lips as Imogen made her way over to a book shelf and pulled a book out extracting something, making her way silently back to Abby, holding out what she had obtained for Abby to take as she stood in front of her. Abby put her mug down beside her and took what Imogen was proffering as she looked up at her. "What's this?" Abby asked, quietly as she unfolded the paper Imogen handed her.
"That's her." Imogen said quietly pointing at the photo Abby was now holding.
"This is your Mom?" Abby asked as she looked from the picture up to Imogen who nodded and moved to sit in Abby's cross-legged lap. Abby let her as she brought her arms back around, resting them slightly on Imogen's legs as she held the edges of the photo with both hands, sighing slightly as Imogen rested her back against Abby's chest and Abby laid her chin on Imogen's head.
"Her name's Zoë." Imogen said quietly as she and Abby both studied the picture. "She lives in New York." She said quietly, laying her forearms on top of Abby's.
"Yeah I heard that." Abby told her quietly, still looking down, the woman was beautiful, there was no question about that, but she bore a glint that told whoever was behind the camera that she knew it. "She looks nice Imm." Abby told her, lying slightly, trying to be reassuring.
"I don't think she does, I think she looks mean, she's not smiling even a little bit, Daddy said she never smiled very much." Imogen said her tone passive and unassuming as she touched the corner of the picture.
"So not like you and Dad then." Abby said moving her body sideways to look at Imogen who complied and turned to her with a smile on her face.
"I'm not like Zoë, I'm like my Dad." She shook her head, her tone holding an element of pride as she looked back at the photo.
"If you call your Mom by her real name then why do you want to call me something that's not Abby?" Abby asked as she continued to look at the photo.
"Because…" Imogen paused thinking for a second, " 'cause, you're here all the time and you do stuff with me, and you're Daddy's girlfriend, and she's never ever here, and she never did anything with me, and…" Imogen trailed off frowning.
"I tell you what, you still can't call me Mom…" Imogen interrupted.
"But…" Abby retaliated softly.
"No, wait, listen," She paused, putting the photo down, bending her body around again as Imogen half turned in her lap, frowning slightly at Abby again. "You still can't call me Mom, but we will do stuff together, and we can hang out, and we can do friend stuff, ok does that sound like a deal?" Abby asked smiling at her, she frowned for a second, picking at the sleeve of Abby's sweater.
"Ok, but maybe can I call you Mom one day?" She asked looking up at Abby again. Abby smiled looking down for a second as she let out a little laugh, this kid really didn't give up on the things she wanted.
"Maybe one day, but not at the moment ok?" She said looking back at Imogen, smiling as Imogen nodded seriously for a second and then her face broke into a broad grin.
"Ok." She nodded, settling back against Abby's chest. "So it's like you and Daddy are little kisses friends and then when you get to be big kisses friends then maybe I can." Imogen said explaining the situation to herself, still playing with Abby's sleeve.
"What?" Abby frowned, moving to look back at Imogen, having absolutely no idea what she was talking about.
"Now this bit I actually can explain." Nick's voice came from the doorway; both Abby and Imogen looked up at him as he pushed himself off the doorframe and moved to sit on the floor opposite them. "Ok, so little kisses friends is like this." He started as he sat, immediately pushing himself up onto his knees and leaning over Imogen to meet Abby's lips softly, murmuring 'thank you' as he did, before pushing himself backwards adding, "Or like this." As he gave Imogen a little kiss on her cheek, smiling at her, as she grinned at him.
"And big kisses friends is like this." Imogen said still smiling as she looked up at Abby for a second to make sure she had her attention before bouncing up off her lap and pouncing on Nick who fell backwards, playing with her, a pretend "Ugh." Coming from him as he hugged her beginning to tickle her.
"See." Imogen said bouncing up standing in front of Abby again.
"I think I get it yeah." Abby nodded smiling at her, glancing at Nick as well.
"So can we have no more running away as well please Miss Johnson?" He said turning his attention to Imogen, raising his eyebrows, a hint of comedy in his voice as he looked at her seriously, she looked back sheepishly and nodded before pouncing on him again.
**
Imogen was sound asleep, safely tucked in her bed, in a far happier slumber than she'd been in for a while and Abby and Nick were sitting at the coffee table plates of pasta that Nick had been trying to prepare for hours sat in front of both of them. Nick was watching her as he took a long sip of his beer, bringing it away from his lips he started.
"Thank you." He nodded at her.
"Jesus Nick you really need to stop thanking me." She smiled looking up from her plate, rolling her eyes, throwing her cutlery down as he shuffled along the floor towards her. "It's fine, it was something that I should have explained when she first asked, not just sent her off to talk to you about it." She said almost apologetically, a smile still in her eyes.
"Maybe, but I'm still not sure that it wasn't a bit above and beyond the call of duty." He said, his eyebrows raised, an apologetic smile on his face.
"Maybe, I guess you'll just have to make it up to me." She smiled back at him.
"Maybe." He grinned leaning in to her, pulling back slightly adding, "Y'know if you can really handle all this deep end, beyond the call of duty stuff then my Dad's coming into town next weekend, meet him and I'll really have to make something up to you." He smiled leaning towards her again as she laughed slightly and they hit the floor.
"Does this make us big kisses friends?" She muttered through a smile and he met her lips.
I really like this bit, I'm not sure if it's not a bit premature and full on though, but the idea that Imogen likes Abby grabs me and I think that she might just (I'm grimacing because I'm a little unsure about this!) be even handed in this situation and reasonable around Imogen at least! And there's a possibility that I'm actually in love with my image of Nick! But either way yes / no, like / don't like, too soon / good time, let me know what you think cheers K. XxX It's all getting really rather happy in my head! Although, there was one other thing, there are a lot of people who've come into this that aren't on the show, and Abby is pretty much the only one, it was ok when loads was going on in the hospital and stuff but now there's not…what do u think?
Review responses…
Foxywombat – I'm glad my incoherent ramblings aren't too much, it's nice to hear from u again.
Lillian – Thanks so much, I'm glad u like it… I hope this chapter answers your staying together doubts a bit…
Blah – Good stuff, I'm trying to get it to a cheerier place without it getting too sickly sweet. I'm heading towards a bit too cheesey tho I think!
Carbybubbles – Good to have you back, don't let the school work get you down!
Tracey – I'm glad it made more sence, thanks very much for the input as well. J
Teertornado – Happy Abby is the way forward I think, at least in this fic and in my plans for it, it is continuing!…..