fantasyfan: it's set after book 9, though it doesn't follow book 10's plotline

yeah, the hall would have freaked out big time, that's why I had chap. 4 start after the hall had already been arguing about the whole situation for a while.

in book 9, when Min, Elayne, and Aviendha were talking before they went off to see Rand, they mentioned trying to get him to go see Egwene. So, it makes sense that she would know the general area of where Egwene would be, and then in chap. 2, I mentioned that Min saw something in the area outside of Tar Valon.

Disclaimer: I know that I forgot to put this in the last chapter, but I don't own anything related to Wheel of Time. I never have, and I highly doubt that I ever will.

Areas in /forward slashes/ are flashbacks.

Chapter 8:

Elayne watched as Min paced in the hall, occasionally pulling out a knife and doing a few flashy finger rolls before she would realize what she was doing and tuck the knife away faster than thought. Aviendha sat on the floor leaning slightly against the wall as she spun her belt knife every few minutes, her eyes never leaving the wooden door that led to the room. Elayne noticed that she had even checked to see if her belt knife was clear in the sheath several times. She sighed, they had all been on edge since that morning's talk with Cadsuane. "Min, can you please stop pacing?"

Min abruptly stopped and spun to face her. "That's easy for you to say, you can at least block out what they're doing to him in there," Min practically spat. Min placed her hand on her temples, applying slight pressure to them, and shook her head slightly, "Sorry, it's just all this," she gestured to the door. "I hate this! I feel so helpless," she stared at the door, just realizing that one of her knives was now quivering slightly in the door. Sighing deeply, Min walked over to where Elayne and Aviendha were and leaned against the wall, letting herself slide down to the floor.

Aviendha nodded in understanding as she lightly squeezed Min's forearm in support. Light! She hated this too.

Cadsuane frowned deeply, it was already the seventh time and it didn't seem to be working at all. The most it had ever taken anyone, even the most strong-willed person, was only four times in the Chair. Maybe it was time to try a different approach.

Death is release, Lews Therin said from the corner of Rand's mind. He was right, death would be a release. He wasn't afraid of dying, in fact, he welcomed it. 'Duty is heavier than a mountain, death is lighter than a feather.'

Rand was suddenly standing in what was once Emond's Field. Only now, it was completely burned, a few wooden beams from a few of the houses remained, completely charred. Charred bodies of his friends, most of the bodies were burned beyond recognition, were everywhere he looked. Tam. Rand dropped to his knees next to the man who had raised him as his own son, even if not by blood, his father. He was still alive, but barely. Rand could hear Tam's ragged breathing clearly in the near-deafening silence. Suddenly, Tam gripped Rand's cloak and pulled him closer and spoke with great difficulty. A scream nearly managed to rip itself from Rand's throat as Tam went limp in Rand's arms; he wasn't sure how it had not escaped him. He suddenly felt numb, not the emotionless feeling from the void; no, this was different, a more hollow void that emptied his soul.

A sound that sliced through the silence like a dagger, brought him out of his trance. "Rand!" Before his mind even registered what was happening, he was on his feet, sword drawn, running towards the sound. He nearly fell as Trollocs' steel ripped through flesh. The only thing that kept him on his feet, kept him moving was his anger. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Time seemed to slow as his sword sliced through the Trollocs. Even as they were still falling to the ground, Rand collapsed onto his knees next to Min, Elyane, and Aviendha; and the scream that he had somehow managed to suppress when Tam died intensified into the most gut-wrenching scream ever heard. It was the sound of a man who had just lost everything and everyone in his life that he had ever cared about.

Aviendha scrambled to her feet, with Elayne and Min up beside her in a second. All three looked at each other, that was Rand's blood-curling scream of anger and sorrow that had somehow managed to penetrate the door's wards. Elayne and Aviendha linked and Elayne began slicing through the weaves with Saidar. Once the wards were down, the three women burst through the door with speed that surprised even them. They had barely gotten inside the room when they stopped dead, Rand was sitting on the Chair, with thirteen sisters around him trying to shield him with spirit and air. Cadsuane moved them all out of the room before they even noticed her there. Once they were all out she followed, closing the door behind her. "If you go in there now, and he sees you; you will undo everything we have been working on for the past ten hours," Cadsuane scolded.

"What did you do to him?" Aviendha demanded, glaring at Cadsuane.

"Something I wish I had not had to do. Something I wouldn't have done if anything else would have worked. I manipulated his side of the bond, so it would seem as if all three of you were dead; and right before he saw all three of you simultaneously die, his father died in his arms." She sighed, "I would not have gone that far if he hadn't been so stubborn."

"What just happened in there?" Elayne pressed.

"I am not exactly sure. When he saw you three die, I think, something inside of him snapped. He was suddenly able to break through the shields we had on him; I'm not sure if I want to try it again, at least without more Sisters and some of those Asha'man. But you," she said sternly, "you three must all stay away from him, until this is over. I do not know if something like that could happen again, but if it does and any of you are nearby, it would undo all this effort put into this so far, and make it even harder to redo. Do you understand?" Cadsuane waited for each to nod before she went back into the room, redoing the wards as she closed the door behind her.

Rand sat against the cool stone of the wall, he was shielded but he didn't care. It's the box, Lews Therin muttered from the corner of his mind. No, it wasn't the box; the room was of a decent size, with a bed and a few chairs and a table. It wasn't the box, but somehow he didn't think he could bring himself to care, even if it was. He only cared about one thing at the moment, and that one thing was gone forever now. His mind replayed the moments surrounding the death of Elayne, Min, and Aviendha.

/"This would not have happened if you had not pushed us away, Rand," Aviendha said, almost accusatorially, her eyes showed pain, both physical and emotional.

"You could have protected us from the Trollocs and Myrdrael if you had not kept us away," Elayne said, her eyes flashed with the pain of betrayal.

"No, there was nothing you could have done, Sheepherder. You made yourself too hard to be able to do anything. You thought you needed to be hard to protect us, protect the world, but look what that brought you now," Min shot at him./

Were they right? Had being hard killed them just as surely as the Trollocs had? Rand was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice Cadsuane sitting in one of the chairs in the dimly lit room.

Cadsuane watched Rand from her chair near one of the room's corners. Maybe it was just her imagination preying on her hope that they were getting through to him, but to her, he didn't seem quite as hard as he had earlier.