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TEASER
INT - SEEDY BAR
Mal, Zoe, and Jayne walk into the bar. The large room is dimly lit and the air reeks of smoke and stale beer. The trio walks toward a booth in the farthest, darkest corner. Zoe brushes off the seat before sitting.
ZOE
I was kinda hoping you'd figured
out by now that a bar isn't such
a good place for a meet.
Mal sits next to her.
MAL
What? Look around.
Jayne looks around and shrugs his shoulders.
MAL (CONT'D)
Everyone here is either trying
not to be seen or so far into
their glass that they don't care
if they're seen or not. It's
perfect.
ZOE
Right, until one of those said
folks insults you and violence
ensues.
MAL
That doesn't happen every time we
step foot in a bar.
Zoe looks at Jayne.
JAYNE
Well it does seem to happen a lot Mal.
Mal sits up and looks at Jayne incredulously.
MAL
What! I seem to recall you being
right there with me in a majority
of those brawls.
JAYNE
I was just, as they say, a victim
of circumstance.
Jayne sits back and puts his feet up on the chair next to him. Mal turns and faces Zoe.
MAL
And you're not completely innocent
either, Zoe. You like fighting
as much as I do.
ZOE
No. What I like is seeing you not
dead. Next time I'll just stay
behind and watch.
Mal stands up.
MAL
How about you just watch my behind
now as I go get us some drinks.
Mal waggles his bottom a little before leaving.
JAYNE
Now that's down right disturbing.
Zoe laughs.
Mal walks to the bar and takes a seat at the end. The bartender is talking to a homely woman at the opposite end of the bar. Mal snaps his fingers.
MAL
Can I get some service please!
The bartender looks back at Mal and holds up one finger.
MAL (CONT'D)
Wait! I'm dying of thirst here!
The bartender holds up a different finger this time.
MAL (CONT'D)
Churn ni duh!
Mal returns the friendly gesture. Three men dressed in military style uniforms enter the bar laughing. The tallest of the three, BARRETT, has a deep throaty laugh. It is very distinguishable. They walk past Mal to the tables in the front corner of the bar.
SECURITY GUARD (ROSS)
You sure had that whore shaking.
Barrett laughs. Mal sits up and looks around trying to locate the source of the offending sound. The other military guy, LAU, pats Barrett on the back.
LAU
When Barrett says he's gonna
get you, he's gonna get you.
They laugh. Mal stands up and spots the three men at the table. He turns his back toward them and takes the scenic route back to the table.
Jayne takes his feet off the chair and sits up.
JAYNE
What?
ZOE
Just wasn't funny.
JAYNE
Ah, come on Zoe. You see, she
was the one with one leg, but the
guy was the one who couldn't get
it up.
ZOE
Still, not funny.
Mal walks up to the table. He scans the bar intently to make sure he wasn't followed.
ZOE
Back so soon?
MAL
Huh?
He looks at Zoe.
ZOE
What happened to the drinks?
Mal looks around the bar again.
MAL
Didn't get 'em.
ZOE
I can see that. What are you--
Zoe tries to stand up and find out what Mal is staring at. He moves over to block her view.
MAL
I figured you're right. Bar's
not such a good place for business.
Let's go.
Jayne stands up.
JAYNE
Bet he pissed somebody off at
the bar.
ZOE
That's very likely.
Zoe stands up. Jayne starts walking toward the door. Mal grabs him by the shoulder.
MAL
Go that way.
Mal points to the other door on the opposite side of the bar.
JAYNE
Guay Mal, that door's closer.
Mal gives him a stern look and nods his head toward the door. Jayne reluctantly walks toward the door.
ZOE
Something wrong?
She steps out of the booth and in front of Mal. She attempts to look around the bar. He grabs her by the waist and quickly turns her back around.
MAL
This place just gives me an
uncomfortableness.
ZOE
Right. Exactly what--
MAL
Less talking, more walking.
Zoe throws up her hands in resignation. She adjusts her gun belt on her hip and starts toward the door.
MAL (CONT'D)
Wait.
Zoe turns around.
ZOE
Gonna let me in on what's going
on now?
Mal walks up to her.
MAL
Just wanted that.
He takes the gun out of her holster and tucks it in the back of his pants.
MAL (CONT'D)
That's better.
He turns her back around and tries to push her toward the door. She takes two steps and stops.
ZOE
I'm not taking another step
unless you tell me what the hell
is going on.
Barrett and his two friends are now surrounded by a group of men at the bar. The entire group bursts into laughter. Barrett's baritone chuckles rise above the crowd. Zoe turns toward the bar and spots him immediately. Mal grabs her by the arm.
MAL
I know. Just look at the door
and keep walking.
Zoe looks at Mal. She realizes that seeing Barret has been the cause of Mal's current strange behavior. She looks away from him and starts walking slowly toward the door. Mal takes hold of her arm and doesn't let go.
As they walk past a table a drunk falls out of his chair taking half a pitcher of beer with him. The beer and the drunk fall on Mal's feet.
MAL
What the guay!
The crowd at the bar erupts in laughter again.
BARRETT
Killed two birds with one stone!
Mal struggles with the drunk on the floor. He looks up just in time to see Zoe grab a gun on the table in front of them.
MAL
No!
Zoe fires three shots. Each one hits Barrett in the chest. People scream and dive under tables and out the door. Barrett falls.
END TEASER