Chapter 48's here, it's been a couple of days and some severe writers block on this one, but since I lapsed in updates this is a very long one, you kick off from where you left Abby and Nick, just so you know where you are, thanks so much for the reviews, and I cant seem to stop writing so maybe this isn't over after all…. It may well continue for a while, especially since I seem to write when I have real work to do and there's a lot of exams coming so… (In fact I probably will but I'll keep you posted!  - my decision in this has a lot to do with all of the fantastic people who said they wanted me to so it may be down to you!)

Cheers for all the reviews and I'm sorry about the lapse in updates XxX Kay

"There was actually something else I wanted to tell you as well." Nick said pulling away from Abby after a couple of minutes.

"Oh yeah, you thought that the fact you'd bought a house wasn't enough?" She smiled, leaning back moving her hands down to his sides.

"Well two things actually." He said with a slight shrug.

"Please let one of them be the story of how you got the shark bite scar." She smiled at him.

"You missed an opportunity for that tonight already, Tom would have told you." He smiled as he moved slightly grabbing something off the coffee table.

"And you're not going to." She said shaking her head, her eyes dancing.

"Nope, not tonight anyway, you've got to do some detective work for yourself on that one." He smiled.

"Ok, so what else?" She asked, her eyes searching his, a smile playing on her lips as she allowed herself to feel a little excited.

"Ok, one thing is that I beat my biggest defence total last week, well when I say beat, we didn't actually win, but the total was the biggest." He said semi-shrugging.

"I thought you always won?" She smiled leaning away from him.

"I always do, apart from this one." He smiled, laughing slightly.

"Ok, so how much?" She asked conspiratorially.

"Eighty three million." He said with a grin.

"Wow, one guy." She said impressed.

"One woman actually, you know the lottery scammer woman that's been all over the news?" He asked with a nod.

"You were defending her?" She asked, a surprised expression on her face.

"Yup, not that well as it turns out." He shrugged.

"Well she deserved to be sent down anyway." Abby shrugged.

"I'm glad you think so." He smiled back.

"And what's the other thing?" She asked smiling again.

"Ok, the other thing is the thing that I'm most nervous about." He said looking into her eyes.

"More nervous about it than asking me to move in with you?" She asked smiling.

"Yup." He nodded once.

"And you're not proposing?" She asked a glint in her eyes as they narrowed slightly.

"No." He shook his head, biting his lip to stop from smiling even wider at her.

"Okay…" She said looking at him encouragingly; he stayed silent for a second. "Nick if you don't tell me then I'm going to start guessing." She laughed.

"Ok, this morning when I set this up it seemed like a good idea and now it seems like the worst way in the world to tell you this and I'm not sure what I was thinking, it's very stupid and really quite corny, but since it's all set I've got to do it, or I'm going to do it, probably after this you won't want to move in with me." He grinned, shaking his head laughing slightly. "Christ I'm actually embarrassed about this." He sighed taking a deep breath and hitting the play button on the remote in his hand. He looked away from her, one hand sill around her waist, as he hung his head, shaking it as he laughed. She began to laugh as well as she heard what filled the room. Barry White's dulcet tones filled the silent air as Nick looked apologetically at her, laughing at her still as she looked at him, a 'what the hell is this' look on her face as she chuckled and shook her head an almost pained expression on his face.

"What, what is this?" She said with a pausing laugh.

"Wait, wait it gets worse actually." He said raising his eyebrows as he skipped to the next track, cutting off Barry and moving on to 'Endless love'.

"Oh, my god." She added as her brow furrowed, laughter still muffling her voice.

"Oh, you haven't heard anything yet." He nodded at her, skipping on to 'Let me be your Hero.'

"Enrique Iglesias, how old are you?" She laughed at him, a smile twinkling in her eyes as the music switched to 'Have you ever really loved a woman.'

"I'm really sorry, it did actually seem like a good idea this morning, I was actually thinking about singing as well." He grinned apologetically at her.

"I'm really sorry I missed that." She mocked, her laughter fading, a smile still on her face as she looked at him.

"Yeah, I figured it'd be overkill though." He grinned

"Oh, I don't know." She shrugged.

"Well I still can if you like, I mean if you think I should make myself look like a bigger dick than I think I already do, I'm happy to try." He nodded at her.

"What were you aiming for with all this?" She asked laughter twinkling in her eyes, a comedic smile on her face.

"I'm not entirely sure." He smiled at her looking a little perplexed.

"Well if you were aiming for comedy I think that you achieved it." She smiled at him, laughing slightly still.

"I was actually aiming more for piss taking I think but…I can live with comedy." He shrugged, his eyes twinkling as he looked at her.

"Piss taking I think you've also achieved." She nodded slowly, chewing on her lip slightly, having looked away and narrowed her eyes as if in contemplation.

"Oh, good well then my work here is done." He smiled as she looked back to him, her hands still resting either side of his body, just above his hips, "I was actually just aiming to let you know that I think I've fallen in love with you." He nodded, smiling slightly at her, his hands moving towards her body, nervously. He looked unassuming and resigned as she studied him for a second, a small smile playing on her lips.

"I think you achieved that as well." She nodded quietly at him, her smile breaking across her face.

"Does it freak you out?" He asked, studying her face for a second as she looked away and his hands reached her body.

"Not as much as I thought it would actually." She pouted bringing her eyes back to his, "Why does it freak you out?" She asked still studying him.

"Scares the absolute shit out of me yeah." He said with a nod and a smile, complete satisfied honesty in his eyes, she smiled back at him. 

"Oh, my god you didn't." She laughed as the song changed.

"Yeah I did, yeah." He nodded grinning at her, hanging his head in shame.

"Dolly Parton Nick." She laughed at him involuntarily a pained sympathetic look on her face.

"Yeah, well in all fairness, I figured if all else failed Dolly would get my message across." He said rolling his eyes at himself.

"Ok, you have to promise me one thing, actually two." She started with a smile looking into his eyes, her own smiling.   

"Given that you're still here I think I'd probably promise you more than two things, as long as it's not sex on the beach." He said his eyebrows raised as she stood in front of him.

"It's not." She smiled.

"Ok, then shoot." He nodded his eyes still twinkling.

She started with a smile, "Ok, the first one is, never, ever, make me a CD again, ever." She shook her head, laughter twinkling in her eyes.

"It's a deal." He nodded, moving one of his hands down to her hip.

"And the second one is when we move in here we get a lockable cupboard to put all of your music in and I'm the only one that gets to have the key." She nodded at him.

"Can I have the key when you're not here." He smiled.

"I don't know I'll have to think about it." She grinned as he bent to meet her lips, tentatively at first. "Is this supposed to be persuasion?" She laughed pulling back from him.

"No, this is your first night's rent charge." He smiled, bending to meet her lips again as her hands moved up into his hair, this had defiantly gone better than the plan had planned for.

Nick woke up alone the next morning, he threw his arm over his face as his phone rang incessantly from somewhere around the floor, he reached over the side of the bed and fished around coming up with his pants, pulling the phone out of his pocket, flipping it open too late. He looked around noticing the French windows leading out onto the tiny balcony were open he pulled himself out of bed, pulling his boxers on, heading towards the windows, instantly he was met with the smell of coffee and the sight of a coffee clasping, cigarette holding Abby, wrapped in a sheet.

"Hi." He said squinting slightly as the sun cascaded into his eyes.

"Did I wake you?" Abby asked looking over to him, smiling at the dishevelled sight that met her.

"No, twinkle, twinkle little star did." He smiled taking a seat next to her on the swinging bench that took up the entire balcony, stealing her coffee as he did, hooking his foot in the railings, swinging them gently on the bench.

"The only thing you've got in you're entire kitchen, apart from one mug and coffee pot is a pack of coffee." She said looking over at him.

"The only thing we've got in our entire house is that and a bed, oh, and a hi-fi and one hell of a CD." He smiled, nodding looking out over the lake, scratching his hand up over his hair from the base of his neck, as she let out a slight laugh.

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" She asked looking over at him inquisitively, it was weird, she was concerned that he'd changed his mind, she felt like she really wanted to do this, she actually felt like she had secure convictions about this, but she had a niggling doubt that he had changed his mind.

I absolutely, positively, definitely want to do this and you're not allowed to pull out." He smiled over at her nodding. "Unless you really don't want to do this." He said suddenly looking concerned.

"No, I want to." She jumped on his words, her eyes telling him that she really did as she nodded, and he pulled one of his hands of the mug laying it across the back of the bench, turning towards her slightly. He breathed in about to start again as she saw her opportunity and shuffled into his chest, he bent his elbow and began to play with her hair.

Nick decided against talking, just sitting, listening to the gentle brush of the lake on the shore, and the rustle of the breeze in the trees in their new yard was enough, that and the gentle creek of the bench was enough as he wound her hair around his fingers, he couldn't remember having felt this satisfied for a while, you spend your young life looking for excitement, for some way to prove that you're living it, that you tan take on the world, like you want stories to tell that prove you have lived the life everyone wants to live, that you never lost an opportunity, and then you hit a point where actually it doesn't seem all that important anymore. Proving that you can party, or proving that you're the best at what you're doing, or proving that you're a nice guy, a guy that people want to be around, none of it was really all that important anymore, he liked this, how this was now, he wanted this to be how his life was, he wasn't naïve, he knew that if he and Abby went all the way with this there would be arguments, there would be tough times, there would be at least one teenager in there relationship, it would never just be her and him, but as he sat and swayed with her head resting lightly against his chest, her foot touching his, in a way it was, it was her and him, Abby and Nick, they talked about things in a way he'd never talked with anyone before, he'd talked with Amelia, probably about things he'd never talk with Abby about, but not in the same way, with Abby it was them, us, what were they doing, how could they reach compromises, there was never really a decision made independent of the other, with Amelia it was about him, about her, what should they do as individuals, with Abby it wasn't, it was what they were doing as a we, not in an all encompassing way, he didn't feel like there was a possession in their relationship, but he'd given himself over to her as she had him, he would never tell her she couldn't do anything, but he was willing to voice his feelings, to tell her what he thought, and he felt that she was as well.  Imogen in his mind was as much a part of her now as she was him, and it had never been this good, before Imogen there had been a number of women, never a huge amount, but enough, all of whom he'd liked, all of whom he'd wanted at the time but none of whom had made him feel this way, this secure in his position, this terrified of loosing what he had, he closed his eyes sighing. He loved her.

He had grown up with his father, the non-famous version of Hugh Hefner, the ultimate east coast playboy, the guy who had a string of scantily clad twenty year olds hanging off him at every turn, he smiled as he thought about him, his dad was an original, grew up in the Bronx, had a thick accent, looked like he did as well, he was a hard, cocksure bastard, with a twinkle in his eye like Nick had never seen in any one else. He'd protected Nick and his brother fiercely from his life style, and from his pot-smoking hippy of a mother, he loved his father, respected the man but had no desire to be anything like him, when Imogen was born that's what his life had become, it was a constant dagger through his heart that her mother hadn't felt the same but now, as he sat, swinging with his hand in Abby's hair he was glad his life had worked out like this, he only hope that it would continue to, he didn't need or want the promiscuous lifestyle his father had and still was leading, he didn't want Imogen's mother in her life, he wanted this, what this was now, some semblance of security, an unconditional comfort, he didn't need excitement anymore if it was offered he would take it, but he wasn't about to seek it out, he wanted this, and he could see himself being happy with this, with her for a long time to come. She'd gotten past some of her horrors and the fears and the fact that she was even here with him now was testament to that, he leaned down and kissed her temple as he thought.

Abby listened as well, the cars rumbling quietly in the distance, a kid crying on the beach, the gentle drum of Nick's heart under her ear, she pursed her lips slightly, swallowing, she didn't quite get how she'd ended up here, her eyes remained unfocused on the distance as Nick played with her hair, she was happy, but she was puzzled, she had almost no idea how she'd ended up sitting on the balcony of a house, overlooking the lake, wrapped in a sheet leaning on a man she wouldn't have exchanged for any of a thousand others. She had no idea how she'd ended up with what amounted to an instant family, and mostly she had no idea why she had no inclination to run, she couldn't figure it out. If you'd presented the facts of this relationship to her before it happened she would have laughed in anyone's face; you go out with a single father, he has a five year old daughter, she wants you to be her mother, you, if you're honest want to be her Mom, you fall for his daughter, and you fall for him, he wants you to move in with him, and you actually want to, without pressure, without anyone telling you they think that you should, you actually want to do it, after eight months, you decide you want to marry him; likely? Her answer would have been a resounding 'no'. But now, now she had the opportunity for all of this, she wasn't going to, she wasn't prepared to give it up. When had her views changed so dramatically? When had she stopped being so terrified of being hurt? When had she decided to take the gamble? When had she allowed herself to accept that she could have this, with him with them? Why hadn't she run from this a long time ago? What made all this so different? She couldn't work it out, somehow he'd made her accept it, probably without even knowing he had, but it had started the night she helped him unpack, what he'd said had made her think that whatever you worked for, whatever you valued didn't have to be your life, it didn't all have to be taken to heart, he'd demonstrated that. Did she believe in happy endings? No, did she believe in happily ever afters? No, did she believe in soulmates? No, did she want to believe in them? No, did she believe in this situation? Yes, Was she happy? Actually, really happy? Yes, she, like him was under no illusion that this, that it would always be like this, this calm, this easy. But she liked the way he was, the way he never really appeared to take anything seriously, and yet while he didn't you could tell that he knew when it was serious, he understood what she felt was serious, but he had a way of making you laugh in the face of the reality of a situation, he had a way of letting life happen and, thus far in her experience he let it happen and dealt with it as it did, and she liked it, he always managed to make her come out of things with a smile and a 'well it could be worse' attitude and she loved him for that. His easy going attitude was somehow infectious, her blaze topcoat was penetrating through to the lower layers because of him, and because of his daughter, they'd shown her how to wash away the bad, the uncontrollable, the inevitable and how to live with life, with all it had to throw at you, with all it had to offer and because of that she wanted this, with them, she wanted this. Maggie's words ironically ran through her head, "That's all there is, is risk, you just have to take a chance and leap into life, otherwise, you're going to miss out on all the great things." She half smiled as she thought, she was willing to take the risk, half of her already had uncontrollably, she was going all the way with this, her whole life was being gambled on this and she was willing to do it, and funnily enough she felt relatively secure in that gamble.

She and Nick weren't based on any kind of intensity, there wasn't really any kind of need she'd ever felt from him, she'd never felt that he'd wanted anything from her, he wasn't Carter, he had no impassioned desire to protect her, to take care of her, he knew that she could do things for herself, but he also could read when she wanted or needed to talk about something, or when it was beginning to take her over. He wasn't Luka, with the constant questioning and the constant desire to wash everything away with sex, Nick would shout back, he would argue, but not to the point of destruction like Carter, he never walked away moodily like Carter had, and he never just nodded mutely like Luka had and he never picked pointless fights like Richard had. she liked that if she ever told him that she wanted or needed to get properly really crappy time wasted that he would be there, he would dissuade her and failing that, he would do it with her, it had happened once, he'd come over and found her already half tanked on a bottle of vodka, after she'd told him he should leave his only words had been "Fuck that, why are you the only one who can have a shit day and get wasted, mine's been pretty crap as well, don't be selfish with the booze." He'd grabbed a glass and then the bottle and both of them had ended up trashed, but once and only once, for that night only they'd been drinking buddies, after that night she'd had no plans to do it again and the fact she'd laughed, genuinely, with him the next morning about how stupid the pair of them had been as they sat slumped over her kitchen table, he'd made her feel secure, she actually, really didn't want to do it again. He wasn't an addiction like Luka had been, he wasn't someone she had booze and went to bed with, he'd never had Carter's holier than thou attitude towards her alcoholism, the fact that Carter had recovered and she'd lapsed had given Carter the upper hand somehow, it made him strong and her weak, in her eyes certainly and she felt in his eyes as well, Nick just accepted it with a nod, he'd somehow without words let her know that if she wanted him to he'd be there, he could be there but he wouldn't invade it, she could ask him and he'd be there. And he'd let her be involved with Imogen, she'd appreciated over the last few month what a huge thing that must have been for him, allowing a person whose whole heart is given over to you to accept someone else inside as well, the level of trust that must have involved from him had blown her away when she'd thought about it, scared her a little but made her more than sure of her position, Imogen's total devotion to Nick was marred now by the part of her heart that had Abby's name written across it. She understood now how this was a 'bigger thing for him than it was her,' She loved him for that, Imogen was as much a part of their relationship as the two of them were, but she wasn't all of it she was a big part, but they were as much a part in her mind, she loved him, and she loved his daughter, she wanted to be involved with them, she definitely was 'going to be there in the morning.' She felt him lean towards her and kiss her temple; she closed her eyes as he did, leaning further into him as he pulled back.

As they sat and swung slowly Nick took another sip of coffee, staring out over the lake, his eyes; unlike Abby's focused as his fingers still played in her hair.

"D'you feel like this is a big thing?" Abby asked quietly, pulling the mug from his grasp and taking a long draught herself as he pulled his hand from her hair, taking the mug back from her as she offered it, stretching slightly as he did.

"I think that I probably should feel like it is, but honestly, no I don't." He shook his head, smiling slightly at her, shrugging shaking his head. "It doesn't feel that big." He confirmed shaking his head still.

"Weird hunh?" She said not looking at him, a smile playing on her lips as she blinked, and shook her head slightly as well.

"Yup." He nodded as they lapsed back into silence.   

"Nick." She said quietly, looking up at him after a second, and then away.

"Mmm." He replied not opening his closed eyes, taking a sip from the mug in his hands. 

"Y'know if you'd asked me to marry you last night I'd have said yes." Abby said quietly her eyes fixed now on a sailboat on the horizon. Nick opened his closed eyes and looked at her, she didn't look back, she kept her eyes focused on the distance, blinking a couple of times, her face hesitant but serious as she stared out, the muscles visible in her jaw.

"What would you say if I asked you today?" He asked noncommittally, still looking at her profile.

"Are you going to ask me today?" She asked her gaze not deviating.

"I don't know, maybe." He shrugged, a smile creeping onto his lips.

"I'd say yes." She said without hesitation, tensing her jaw as she did.

"Y'know there's no rules saying you can't ask me." He said smiling at her, trying to keep himself from laughing.

"And what would you say if I did?" She asked, turning her head as she finished speaking, she wasn't quite expecting to meet his smiling eyes and smiled involuntarily as she did, shaking her head, rolling her eyes as she laughed at his grinning face.

"I don't know you'd have to ask and wait and see." He said his lips twitching, the corners curving upwards. She shook her head as she smiled genuinely, looking back out somewhat unseeingly as she let out a half laughing sigh, running her hand through her hair. "I will ask." He said quietly as he bent towards her ear, a smile in his voice as he did. "Know that I will, but I can't today because I need to make a plan." He smiled, kissing her temple again as he pulled away.   

"Ok, well I don't need to plan, so will you marry me?" She asked, turning towards him again, this was the first emotionally impulsive thing she's done in god knows how long, but she swallowed as she did it, she was sure of this, she'd vowed not to get married again after the Richard fiasco but she wanted to, she wanted to be married to him, it was just a piece of paper but one that she wanted, and one that she wanted to share with him. She wanted the ring on her finger and she wanted him to give it to her. 

"Yes I will, on one condition." He said meeting her eyes, his own dancing as he placed the mug on the floor.

"What?" She asked smiling at him shaking her head, as she felt sure of herself.

"You have to wait until I ask you properly." He grinned.

"Until you have a plan you mean." She said still smiling back at him, nodding slowly.

"Exactly, it's a male pride thing." He said with his eyebrows raised.

"So what happens if I come up with a better plan than you do before you do?" She said her eyes glittering as he laughed. "What you don't think I will?" She said her face suddenly happily challenging as her eyebrows rose.

"No, I'm sure you could, and if you do we'll have a proposal-off." He shrugged. She bent forwards moving her hands to his face and kissing him slowly but surely, he reciprocated with a smile on his face, she moved her hand and grabbed his, as she stood up, he smiled and stood, following her as she led him back inside.

I hate the idea of Abby seeming dependant or weak in any of this so I'm trying not to let that happen, but by it's nature in my tainted view falling in love with someone makes you a little dependant, certainly on the person you're in love with so I'm trying to keep her strong and in control, but she's happy, and I hope perceived as relaxed which I what I want to be shown, and so…. Let me know as ever and I'll do review responses in the next chapter. Cheers K