A Bleak Christmas
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.
A/N: This is in Raven's POV
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It's the best time of the year. Right?
Wrong.
And there are Christmas trees everywhere, with silver bells, happy shoppers, and peace and goodwill to all, correct?
Don't think so.
It's Christmas...but it doesn't feel right. I think I'm the only one who feels like that. I mean, Starfire's been going crazy with the decorations. I swear, everywhere you look there's either tinsel, lights, wreathes or mistletoe. Actually, that's an understatement. There's a lot more-- she has already bought out three Christmas stores. You should see the outside of the tower. She's crammed on as many flashing lights as possible so that the entire tower is completely covered. And that's not all of it-- she didn't set up the lights properly, so different patches of lights are blinking erratically at different times. The tower looks like it's having a seizure. But it still looks rather... festive. That should put me in the Christmas spirit, right?
Wrong again.
I tried, I really did! I even stole... well, borrowed some Star's mistletoe to hang in my room. Yes, I really am that desperate. I thought it would help me get into the spirit of things but whenever I see it, I'm filled with a sense of despair. It looks so out of place in my room. It's like Halloween and Christmas collided. All it does is to remind me that I'm not... normal. I can't partake in Christmas traditions like the other Titans. I can't feel too much happiness... but I can at least feel at peace with my self without blowing anything up. That's not how I'm feeling right now.
It probably doesn't help my mood that I'm so damn exhausted all the time. You'd think the villains would give it a rest-- it's Christmas, right?
It's exactly the opposite.
We've all been working overtime. I guess it's the villains' way of shopping. Maybe they have families to give to; I never thought of that. God, just what we need-- a million little Slades running around. What a scary thought.
You know what? Some people think that December is "my" month. Probably because it's so cold-- like me. They don't associate me with the lights and holiday cheer but the freezing, bleak winter. I don't want to be like that, but I don't have a choice. I just wish I didn't feel so alone. I know I shouldn't. I mean, I have everything going for me-- well, a few... big setbacks, but still. I have four awesome friends and I'm a superhero, for God's sake! It just seems like the more people there are, the more hollow I feel. The more people try to include me, the more I feel... left out? Is that it? Different, maybe. A burden. Like I'm dragging them down with my presence. The Titans can deal without me; they already have. I mean, they're down there singing Christmas carols; I can hear them... along with Starfire's "unique" wording ("I am thinking in sleep of a pale Christmas!"). She definitely stands out... but she manages to be included at the same time. I wish I could be more like that. Well, I'll pass on the singing but I guess I wouldn't mind decorating, or something.
But I can't go join them; I'd just bring their spirits down. No one wants to be around a "creepy" girl during the holidays. But that's ok, right? I'll be fine. It's just like any other day. I've felt alone and left out before; this should be no different... but somehow, it is.
I guess I'll sit under my mistletoe and just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I'm missing.
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A/N: Ok, so how was it? This was my first TT fanfic. Wait, I think it's also my first ever fanfic. This was all from Raven's POV; I hope you got that by now. If not, then I suck even more than I thought I did :p I tried to keep her in character. I think I did ok, but there's still room for improvement. I guess it gets easier in time. We also don't have cable, so I haven't seen much of season 3 at all (like SPELLBOUND). So all I know, I know from episode descriptions and quotes. So, sorry if her character is a little off. I'm rambling now... so PLEASE review. No flames please (they don't help at all) but constructive criticism is welcome. Thanks!