Disclaimer: I know nothing. I mean, I own nothing. Actually, what do I know? hmmm. I know I should stop typing the disclaimer that no longer has anything to do with a disclaimer except for the one part which is the disclaimer. Oh yah, that made sense.

Author Notes: Once again, thanks a million to my sweet, sweet reviewers. You're really great. And sorry its been a while since I updated. I've been kinda busy. I also apologize if this chapter blows chunks but I have a lot on my mind (best friend likes same guy as me... complicated) and I just hit my head really hard but I'll try anyway.

The letter shouldn't have bothered me. It was simply a man missing his dead girlfriend. He didn't even know me at that point. But the letter did bother me. It bothered me how upset he sounded. It bothered me how sweet he sounded. It bothered me that it wasn't me he was writing to. Which is quite ridiculous. It did not bother me that I wasn't the one attacked and kidnapped by the enemy, then thought dead, and then wake up and realise that two years have passed by. That is not a very nice thing.
But I realised it was Michael and Sydney's relationship I was jealous of. If I dropped dead, Michael would be upset, I know, probably even depressed. I mean, I am his wife. But would his life go into a downward spiral, until he no barely talked to anyone but his mind? I think not.
But, of course, it was different with him and Sydney. Well, obviously it was. She wasn't hired to make him fall in love with her, it came to her naturally.
At that very moment I realised why I was so jealous of her. To make Michael fall in love with me, I had to study him, and then plan my meeting with him, and then of course the countless attempts at getting him to ask me out. Which, by the way, never worked. I ended up asking him. I had to make him fall in love with me. But, of course, all Sydney had to do is walk into a building and let him lay eyes on her.
Ok, I'm exaggerating a little bit. But I do know that the first mission she went on for the CIA, Michael risked his position for her. Ok, exaggerating again, but still! It was really brave of him to stick up for her. I also know that he was worried sick the first time he didn't know where she was. I mean, for god's sake! They barely knew eachother! And he's the kind of guy who's usually hell bent on following the rules! It would be incredibly sweet if it weren't my husband. That just makes it incredibly sickening.
I was still holding the second letter. I hadn't moved since I picked it up. I wondered for a minute what could he say next. Maybe they were all the same idea. Simply "I miss you, how are you?" Or maybe it's "I met this woman and she's a total witch but I'm going to marry her because I want to get back at you for dying."
Wow, when you're a lying traitor, you can really busy up you're mind wondering if you're the one who's really being played. Or maybe, that's just if your name is Lauren Reed.
I was tired of wondering. I opened the second letter.

Dear Sydney
I wasn't exactly planning on writing you again. But something came up and I thought I should share with you. I met someone. Its been five months now, and I should be over you by now. Then why do I feel so guilty? Her name's Lauren. I met her last month at a coffee shop. I go there daily. She's been trying to hint me into asking her out. I was about to finally actually do it, but she ended up asking me first. We're going to dinner this Friday. She's pretty, and sweet, but I still feel weird. I think it's because she's not you. She's so different than you. She's blonde, and has different values than you, and I don't know, like, it's just that everything that she does reminds me of you because it's the complete opposite of what you would do. I'm a hopeless case, did you know that? I think you've wrecked me for life. But I'm going out with her Friday, and I'm going to try and have a good time, and maybe find something between us that I didn't notice before. Maybe It's there, Maybe it's not. But I highly doubt it will ever amount to what we had or have or, I don't know I'm confused now.

I went to rest my face in my hand, but when I touched my face, my hand became wet. I didn't realise I was crying. But it wasn't that surprising. I mean, this was a sappy movie. Except it was was real life and my husband. And what he said was right. Me and Michael have something, but he and Sydney have something better. And my something can't ever compare to Sydney's something. All this thinking was very depressing. I went back to reading.

Confused seems to be my thing lately. Confused about us, confused about Lauren, Confused about life. Are you starting to see a pattern? O, wow, I feel pathetic now. I wish you could reply to me so I could ask your opinion of the situation. Except, you know, If you were able to reply, I wouldn't be in this situation, but still. Well, I have to go.

Missing you forever,
M. Vaughn

It was so sweet. Their relationship was beautiful, and amazing, and probably be able to survive through anything, except for the one thing that no one let them survive through. Which happened to be The people I work for kidnapping and trying to brainwash Sydney, while everyone else thought she was dead, and then me, throwing myself at Michael in his depressed state, playing with his mind and creating a character to become that he would like and eventually fall in love with. But, of course, up until now, I was naive. I was oblivious to what I was dealing with, what I was fighting against. And in some ways, I won. I know Michael isn't planning on leaving me soon. But I can't tell If its that he really loves me and is completely over Sydney, or he just wants to be a man of his word and stick to his wedding vows and he wishes everytime he looks at me (or Sydney) that he could just dump me on the side of the road and run to the one he really loves. Oh, how did I get myself into this mess?

Across Town at Sydney's Place

A dark room.

A dead man.

A strand of blonde hair in front of her face.

Lazarey. His hand.

A short man behind a desk.

The old warehouse.

Vaughn.

A bundle of letters.

Sydney woke with a jolt. She shot from sleeping to sitting up, which caused little stars to dance in front her eyes. She understand most of the dream. They were her memories, the ones she didn't really have. But what were these clips of with man at he desk, and Vaughn and the letters? She didn't get it. She wasn't sure she wanted to get it. It was early, but she wanted to go back to sleep. So she did.