Summary: Valentine's Day. Love is in the air... and what kind of big brother would Joey be if he didn't keep an eye on his sweet, innocent sister? Of course, he'll need help. Seto/Joey... eventually. Follow-up to "To Seto, From Joey". Post Dungeon Dice Monsters AU in which Serenity recovered her eyesight earlier than expected.
Author's notes: Sorry for the delay. I did say, "updates will be sporadic," didn't I? Darn, this one's short. And plotless. Leaning towards pointless.
Unsuccessful job-hunting has put me into a seriously foul, non-ficcing mood. Grrr. Snarl. Now I have the time, but not the inclination. Will try to write something other than livejournal entries despite that.
No sequel for BDAE planned. Might start something else, though, of an experimental, non-happy, non-fluff variety.
darkmus: Why? Because that may very well happen. Or not *shrugs*
Hella: Wow. Thank you. I... can't think of anything else to say. I'm sorry for taking so long to write such a short chapter ^^;;
innominate: Nope, won't hurt you. I'm saving up my sadistic tendencies for the employment section of the newspaper *tears to shreds* :) Say, what does "going dutch" mean (hasn't heard the phrase before)?
Vamyric Saiyaness: Maybe they haven't gotten any "comments", but they sure have been getting a lot of funny looks. Well, it's not like they're *together* or anything, even though, yes, they are sitting next to each other in this chapter. Sort of.
Yami Jazz: Here! *drops more Joey/Kaiba* Hope you're still alive!
Yugi-Redwall-fan: The photo shall be explained... eventually :)
Warnings: Occasional language. Occasional shounen-ai.
Disclaimers: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. And remember, kids, don't eat anything off a movie theatre floor. No brains were harmed in the making of this fic.
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Operation: Valentine
Chapter Seven: The Oldest Trick in the Book
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Good cause or not, I want to die.
Some books shouldn't be made into movies. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but whoever thought a trashy romance novel that sold maybe two copies would make a good movie needs to get his or her head kicked in before the dumbass does it again.
No action, no explosions, and so fake sweet it's like trying to down a whole bottle of kiddie cough syrup in one go.
Don't even talk to me about the acting.
Kaiba's gonna kill me for this. Not right now 'cause of the witnesses, but man oh man am I in for it. I can feel it coming off of him in waves. The deathgrip on the armrests kinda gives it away, too. He's having what looks like the worst time of his life; lips pressed together in a thin line, eyes glassy from horror and disgust and boredom, all at the same time. Yeah, he's gonna kill me, if this brain mush doesn't do me in first.
The only good thing about this whole thing is that Duke and Tristan are both passed out from boredom so they don't have to watch the movie anymore. Unconscious equals no messing around with my sister. Couldn't have worked it out better myself. Serenity's enjoying the movie, though. I guess it's because there was a time when she almost lost the ability to watch movies this... this... ugh.
Too bad none of the other people in the theatre are falling asleep. Nope, sleep's the farthest thing from their minds. They didn't come here to see this sad excuse for a movie. Oh no, this is the kinda flick you take your girlfriend to 'cause it's romantic and all, even if it's not your thing. The girl doesn't say anything 'cause she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings, but she doesn't wanna watch the movie, either. You end up with a guy and a girl beside each other, in the dark, with nothin' to do.
You know what that means, right?
Watching romantic movies with your date makes for snuggling. Watching bad three-hour-long romantic movies that you couldn't care less about with your date on Valentine's Day makes for way too much snuggling, plus other stuff I don't want to know about.
The movie's bad and boring, so I can't watch it unless I want my brains to rot. The audience is making out, so I can't watch them, either, unless I wanna get punched in the face. The making out thing means I can't leave 'cause they're in the way. I can't talk to Kaiba without getting killed, not that I'd blame him, and, oh yeah, shushed by the people who aren't making out.
I can't believe I stayed up late doing my homework for this. Hours and hours of homework, followed by hours and hours of tossing and turning, worrying about my sister, worrying about Kaiba...
So... tired...
I yawn. Maybe I'll close my eyes for a bit, spare myself the horrible pain of watching this awful, awful movie. No harm in that, right? My sis is safe from those guys since they're already asleep, and it's not like I have anything better to do, and I'm full, and I'm tired... so...
The seat cushions are soft, though a little sticky from spilled soda, and the backrest is angled just right so I can rest my head against it. Nice. Too bad the theatre's so noisy. I move around a little 'til I can cover one ear with the backrest. Maybe not as nice and comfy as I was before, but at least it's only half as noisy. Good enough. I drift off to dreamland, the movie's bad speech about "hearts of desire" and true luurve echoing in my mind.
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I sorta wake up when my nose gets too close to the backrest. Reeks. Yuck. I grope around, eyes closed, for something that smells better, find it, grab it, and go back to sleep.
~~~###~~~
There's nowhere to run, the doors, the windows, they're gone, the desks are morphing into piles of paper and Fudou's taking off his vest with a spoon in one hand and dice in the other OH MY GOD HE'S GONNA-
-and I wake up just in time.
With hair in my mouth.
I'm used to that. Food dreams, ya know. My hair's kinda long and I tend to move around a lot when I'm sleeping. I even fell outta bed once. Didn't wake up, but I had a sore back the next morning from sleeping on the floor.
Problem is, the hair's not mine. Smells different. Tastes different. Kinda green and foresty...
Just like that, my comfy sleepy haze is blasted right outta my head. Where am I?
The sound of some squeaky-voiced Barbie girl declaring eternal love to her manly man while orchestra music blares outta the theatre speakers clues me in.
Movie theatre. Serenity. Date. Perverts.
Kaiba.
I try to open my eyes, but I can't 'cause my face is buried in somebody's neck. Somebody's... turtleneck. And I can feel the cord around said neck that I bet is attached to a locket thing.
I know for a fact that there's only one person in a turtleneck sitting anywhere near me, unless he somehow managed to beat up and crawl over all the other moviegoers, lawsuits be damned.
I'm sleeping on Seto Kaiba.
Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshit-
Stop. Don't freak out. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Eyes closed. Don't let slip that I'm awake now or there'll be hell to pay.
Okay. This is me, not panicking. This is me, staying calm. This is me, trying to think all logically and stuff like everyone's always telling me to do.
Now, calm, logical me... what should I do about this?
Well, a brave man would let go of the torso he'd managed to wrap himself around, push himself away, look Kaiba in the eye, and face the consequences. And then Kaiba would kill him. Brave Joey would then have a nice funeral.
I'm all for being brave, but, um... I'm too young to die.
If I don't move, maybe he won't hurt me. He didn't kill me in my sleep, so maybe he won't kill me if I keep on faking it, right? Right. Besides, this is... sort of... not bad... I mean, it could be worse. Always look on the bright side. At least Kaiba doesn't stink. Far from it. Smells better than the theatre seats, anyway.
Speaking of which... From the feel of things, I'm not in mine. Too firm, too warm, too smooth.
I'm sitting on his lap. I'm sitting. On. His lap. Half-turned so that I'm facing him, or at least his neck. But. Still. On. His. Lap. There's no mistaking it, not that I go around sitting on people's laps. I can feel the body heat from his thighs through the seat of my pants. Smooth, slippery, leather-covered thighs. The only reason I haven't slipped off his lap yet is because I've got my arms around his waist.
Why am I not dead yet? Maybe he fell asleep, too? Yeah, he must've noticed me taking a nap and swiped my idea, the jerk. 'Cause there's no way he'd let me touch him like this if he wasn't. Asleep, I mean.
Unless...
No, no way, that's stupid. Kaiba... but... I'm... but he's... but it's an accident since we're both asleep. Or was asleep. I mean, I was, but now I'm not, so I, so he, I mean, so I'm awake now. And he's not. I think.
Forget that, why am I still holdin' onto him?!
I keep my eyes closed while I slowly let go of Kaiba, staying relaxed so that he won't figure out I'm awake if he's awake. A little squirm and gravity starts to do its thing. I can feel myself sliding off. Sure, landing on the floor's gonna be humiliating, but that's gotta be better than "waking up" on Seto Kaiba's lap. Can we say "lapdog"? Gross sticky floor, here I come!
But I don't make it to the floor.
My eyes spring open as I feel metal-clad arms go around my waist and drag me back up again until I'm tucked right up against Kaiba's chest. I close my eyes again before Kaiba notices anything. I keep 'em closed as he moves around so that he's got a better grip on me. They're still closed as he mumbles something into my hair. Hangs onto me tight. Too tight. Stupid metal arm cuffs covered in stupid bumpy metal things. Ouch. Bet he's doing it on purpose, nasty bastard that he is.
No. He's asleep. He's gotta be asleep. He can't not be asleep, so he's asleep.
I try to gently push myself off of him. Then I try to not-so-gently push myself off of him. No dice. Kaiba's got me trapped. Pulls me in even closer.
Well. This is... interesting.
Kaiba likes to snuggle. Who would've thought.
Help.
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TBC...