Chapter Seven- Ho Ho, No!

Bakura yawned. Damn, I'm tired. Maybe I should have waited until Yami was, yaaawwwnn, actually doing something worthwhile. "Marik, maybe we should take a-"

"No!" Marik grabbed Bakura's shoulders and pulled him into an alley to avoid Yami seeing them… again. "We have a mission!! We must be victorious against the evil Pharaoh of the Millenium Puzzle!! Now," Marik yanked the albino onto the sidewalk again, "We must follow!"

Marik marched in their target's direction, army style, while Bakura stood back, pondering.

What's wrong with Marik? He's acting so… hyper. Hmm. He kept pondering, so he was caught off guard when he collided with the blonde. "Marik? What the hell…"

Marik turned around, smiling like a freak (i.e. – like Bakura), "Time for our plan."

Bakura looked around Marik to see that Yami had stopped in his journey and was conversing with a Game Shop owner. As he listened closer, he heard that they were talking about which cards they thought were the best in Duel Monsters. But Marik, who had the hearing of a manatee, and the brains of a stegosaurus, was thinking different things.

"Ah-ha!" Marik cried triumphantly, "He's dealing with some shady characters from other game shops to improve Yugi's grandfather's store by stealing their best ideas!!!!!"

Bakura just blinked.

"We must catch him in the act!"

Blink.

"To the Notebook of Doom!!"

Blink.

Marik grabbed Bakura's backpack off of his back, and dug through it relentlessly. He pulled out the Notebook, "Ta-da!!" He picked up a pen and started scribbling. When he was done, he began:

"Alright, we must position one of us very close to him, so that we can keep him off guard, whilst the other operates the camcorder." He pointed to a bunch of chicken scratches that looked nothing like… anything, but must have been each of them, along with a video camera.

"Even I draw better than that," muttered the thief, "Um, why do we need a plan? Why can't we just hang out in the crowd and get something?"

"Because!!" Marik growled, "We cannot be seen!!!"

"You didn't really answered my question," Bakura said quietly, "But whatever." He looked Marik in the eyes, "What do I have to do?"

"I'm gonna kill you!!" Bakura yelled.

Marik laughed, "It's okay Bakura! Yami will never know it's you!"

Somehow, the Egyptian blonde had managed to dress Bakura in a Santa suit, complete with white beard. Marik agreed, with himself, that Bakura's white hair was believable enough. Bakura, though, did not like the idea at all.

"Marik!!"

"Now, now," Marik calmed him down while handing him a bell and a bucket, "Here's the rest of your ensemble."

"What's the bucket for?"

Marik smirked, "Well, as long as you're playing Santa, you may as well get some money on the side. Now go!" he picked up the camcorder, getting ready.

Bakura pulled at the collar of his outfit. How the hell does jolly ever wear this thing? It's way too hot and plus… it makes me look fat.

"Ho ho ho," unenthusiastically said 'Santa'. He made his way toward Yami but felt a little tug on his sleeve. How he felt anything with his sleeves being so long and baggy on him. "What?!"

He looked down and saw the same kid with the lollipop, except now he finished the lollipop, "Hello, Santa."

Bakura looked at the kid like he was going to kill him, but saw Marik hiding behind a light post and sighed in defeat, "Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas little dem- er- boy." He said in a monotonous voice.

"What are you doing here Santa?" asked the little dem- er- boy, "Christmas isn't for another few months."

Bakura grunted, "Haven't you ever heard of… Christmas in July?"

"No."

"Neither have I," muttered Bakura. He sweat slightly, not because he was nervous, but with the sun beating down on his suit, he was hotter than hell in those clothes. "Now, run along kid, and um, be good, cuz I'll know."

The kid gasped, "Really? Do you use a magic snow globe or something?"

"No, I'm going to break into your house and stalk you everywhere you go."

For a minute, both Bakura and the annoying lollipop boy were in a dead heat staring contest.

"Aaah!" yelled the little boy, running away.

Bakura sighed. At least that's over. He strode over to Yami, glad that he would finally get this whole thing over with and done. He reached out to grab Yami's shoulder when someone grabbed him. "Um, excuse me?"

He turned around to see a skinny guy with a brown trench coat and a detective's hat, "Um, yes. You see the police just got a call from a woman who says Santa was terrorizing her son. I'm sorry, but you'll have to come with me."

Bakura's eyes narrowed, "You don't look like the police."

"Yes, well my department was being downsized and… why am I explaining this to you?!" he grabbed a pair of handcuffs out of his pocket and tried to cuff him, but because of the sheer thickness of Bakura's jacket, he realised he couldn't.

Bakura watched with mild interest, until noticing that Yami had disappeared, "Crap. Well, it was fun, but I'm sorry I have to go." He tossed the bucket on the inspector's head and high-tailed it out of there, with Marik following with the camcorder.

"Hey get back here, you... you Santa!"

"Marik, you so owe me for this."

um, yeah. i don't know why i put Zenigata from Lupin the 3rd in this, but, yeah, he's there. oh, and i don't own him either.

hiei: (puppy dog eyes) i'm here... (sniffsniff) through all your hard times... (sniff) and you- hic hic- never put me in a fic.

me: what about the smoothie story?

hiei: (thinks for a minute) oh, yeah. but i still want a part.

me: (groans) i'll think about it.

hiei: REVIEW!! :)