Ok, here we go, chapter 62 I think it is, I'm beginning to loose track myself here! I'm sorry about the lapse in updates but it's the rigor of a working life, I finished this about ten minutes ago so I hope it's ok and of course that you enjoy it!

Thank you so much for all of the reviews, as ever they're very much appreciated and as ever I'm promising responses in the next chapter, but I have my writing hat on now, so I'm going to get on it, cheers as ever though and they were all very much appreciated.

Enjoy! xxxK

Abby opened her eyes and blinked a couple of times, rolling over, allowing her eyes to close again. She paused after a seconds effort to go back to sleep and opened her eyes again suddenly, frowning as she shuffled her watch around her wrist to see the face. Twenty past nine. Something was wrong with this picture, twenty past nine and as yet she'd not been woken up by Imogen; she'd not been woken up by Imogen switching on the TV; or Imogen prodding Nick and trying to be subtle as she yelled 'Daddy', why? Where was Imogen? She'd definitely been there last night at Maggie's; ok right, they were at Maggie's; so there wouldn't have been any prodding and 'Daddy-ing' but why hadn't there been any shuffling and 'Abby-ing' it was an almost daily occurrence and yet there had been none of it. Reluctantly she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed; Maggie had always had a thing about beds being hard, she's always said that you got the best night's sleep on a hard mattress, 'why?' Abby thought as she rubbed at her back, trying to ease the knots away, why the bloody hell did you need a hard bed to get a good nights sleep? Maybe it was a form of rebellion against Maggie but as long as she'd purchased her own beds they'd been the softest, most sink into-able beds she could find, she'd actually been very impressed with the bed Nick had purchased for their house, and she'd told him, and showed him; really what was the point of uncomfortable beds? What? She couldn't figure it out. It was a little like the time Maggie had turned up to find her eating Pizza at half past ten in the morning and told her that she couldn't eat it at that hour, she'd been twenty three, apparently the reasoning that she was, in fact, twenty three, an adult, living on her own, with out any parental rules, not that there'd ever really been that many in the first place, but apparently, no, pizza at half past ten was a big no-no. Maggie had taken it away from her, she'd felt then a little like asking why? What did Maggie actually think would happen if she ate a pizza at ten thirty? What was actually going to happen? Terror alert Abby Wyczenski's eating an ill-advised food substance at an early hour. Call in the Feds, code red; what? She'd never understood it; that and the point of hard beds. But anyway, where was Imogen?

'Oh, there we go' she thought as she pulled a wooly turtleneck over her head. There's the point of hard beds, they make you think about fucking stupid things first thing in the morning, before the caffeine kicks in and you can have reasonable, rational first thoughts of the day, because they sure as hell don't make you think 'I'm so comfortable that I want to stay here and hope that the day never starts,' maybe that was a disadvantage of comfortable beds? Oh, Jesus Christ and fuck, caffeine and Imogen, or Imogen and caffeine. Good god in heaven above, she was never again going to wake up in a hard bed, except for tomorrow, after that never again.

Once she'd put her addled brain vaguely into gear, or enough to remember where Imogen and Lauren were sleeping anyway, she headed down the hall and pushed the door open to find the beds re-made and no sign of either child. Knowing that neither would have made their own bed and doubting that Amelia would have done it either she reasoned Maggie must be up and headed for the kitchen. Amelia was lying on Maggie's pullout in the living room, her arm thrown over her eyes, she looked over at Abby as she shuffled into the room looking still a little rumpled.

"Who thought that a ridiculously uncomfortable bed was a good invention?" Amelia croaked as she peered out from her arm and over at Abby.

"I have no idea but who ever it was should be shot." Abby muttered from the doorway. "Where are Imogen and Lauren?" She asked as she squinted around the room.

"Are they not in bed? What's the time?" Amelia asked with a slight frown as she shuffled to push herself up into a sitting position and Abby headed for the kitchenette, pulling her sweater closer around her.

"It's half nine almost." She called back towards Amelia whose face was being commandeered by a slightly concerned frown now as she looked around the room as if she'd find them hiding in a corner. "Oh, wait, Maggie took them with her to the Market." Abby called back as she read a note left on the kitchen table. "Do you want a coffee?" She asked as she began to search through the various cupboards for mugs and granules.

"Please yeah." Amelia called back as she pulled the blankets off the bed closer around her legs and reached to search through her bag for a sweater she could don.

Abby appeared beside her moments later, two mugs in her hands, she handed one to Amelia and looking around the room discovered that there was nowhere remotely inviting looking to sit other than what was now Amelia's bed, Amelia observed the predicament as well and shuffled over to the other side, making room for Abby, who took the space gratefully, leaning back as she shuffled to sit cross-legged.

"You think Maggie knows what she's doing trying to take the pair of them to the market?" Abby asked bringing her lips away from her mug. Looking over at Amelia.

"Lauren seems to have a tendency to be better behaved when she's with people who aren't me." Amelia said with a frown, adding, "Maybe if she keeps them unexcited they'll behave." She finished with a shrug pulling her mug towards her lips.

"Chances of her keeping them unexcited?" Abby asked almost smiling over at Amelia.

"Slim to none." Amelia nodded back, her face serious momentarily before breaking into a smile as she nodded over at Abby.

"Will we see if we can turn this thing back into a couch, because it's hideously uncomfortable like this." Abby said after a moments pause as she turned around surveying the back of the pullout with a derisory glance.

"Jesus I thought you'd never ask." Amelia said, instantly moving to put her coffee down and standing up, pulling her sweater down and her pajama pants up as Abby moved and they both stood trying to figure out how to put it all back in place.

Twenty minutes, some discussion and really quite a lot of laughter for that time of the morning later they'd produced a couch that was far, far more comfortable than the bed it turned into. Amelia put the last cushion back onto it and they both sat down with obvious resolute relief, cradling their coffees again.

"God, it's weird being here." Amelia said after a pause, a slightly confused smile on her face as she shook her head slightly.

"I'm kind of surprised you agreed to come." Abby said, bringing her mug away from her lips and looking over, her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Me too." Amelia said, adding a slight chuckle as she nodded and yawned.

They sat in silence for a moment; Amelia still had the traces of a smile on her lips as she looked unseeingly out into Maggie's living room, considering the irony of the fact that little more than a year ago she'd been completely satisfied with the idea she would never see her family again, and then she'd told Maggie she wanted nothing more to do with her, and now she was sitting in her house, having just spent the night on her mothers couch while her daughter was out at the market with her mother, her sister was sitting beside her and she was going to see her big brother later on in the day. Life was strange, there was no doubt about that, but suddenly she realized she didn't feel all that weird about it, not really, she didn't really have a problem with it, she was nervous about Eric, but Abby and Maggie already felt almost like givens, certainly Abby. Christ a walk in the park with your boyfriend and daughter and look at what happens, resultant emotional roller coasters aside, that one walk in the park had changed everything, and she could quite safely say for the better.

She was allowing herself to like it; she did like it, and she wasn't naïve enough to take it for granted. Maggie was making an effort, she was all too aware of that, and she knew that the only thing that could, or would hold her back was pride.

She was loath to admit she'd missed Maggie, she wasn't entirely comfortable with the fact she needed to admit to herself that she'd wanted a mother, and even less willing to admit that she'd wanted her own mother, she'd wanted the woman who'd stayed in bed for weeks on end in fits of depression, the woman who'd turned around and screamed in her face more times than she cared to remember, the woman who she'd lost by not being good enough, the woman who by all accounts 'couldn't deal with you'. But she had, she'd wanted her; she'd loved that woman, she'd pined for her, she pined for the mother she knew Maggie had the power to be, that fiercely protective mother she's seen on occasion, both on and off her medication. She'd pined for her whilst harboring a fierce loathing, a kind of hate she herself was scared to acknowledge she'd ever felt. She didn't feel it now, she hadn't felt it for a long time but, she could recall the feeling vividly, when things were happening to her, things she knew her Mom, any Mom should be there to prevent, then she'd hated Maggie, an all consuming hatred for the woman who could have prevented it all and yet she'd longed for that detested person. A couple of pills a day could have prevented it all, and yet she hadn't been willing to do that. Or so she'd thought, it had taken a long time for her to teach herself to believe that Maggie wasn't responsible, to teach herself that Maggie wasn't the one at fault. And now, she genuinely believed that, it was a self assurance, a calm arrogance, an arrogance she'd never let herself believe she possessed but she genuinely believed now, as a mother and as a daughter that Maggie wasn't glad she'd gone, she hadn't been pleased she'd been taken twenty three years ago, as a mother she couldn't accept anyone would or could feel that way about their child, in the same way she could never even imagine feeling that way about Lauren. In some way it assured her, and from a purely perspective position it gave her the power over Maggie, she knew that if she chose to she could use their situation against Maggie, she never would, she never could, but there was some kind of subtle self assurance in her mind that she could, she still possessed the will to be bitter, it was just that she chose to accept the situation rather than use it, and she hoped that it would work, all she wanted really was for Abby and Lo and Imm and Maggie even to have a nice issue free weekend.

"How long do you think they're going to be?" Amelia asked, glancing over at Abby who'd pulled her legs up under her body.

"I don't know but my guess would be a while." Abby nodded back at her smiling slightly.

"Are you going to talk to Imogen about this whole Step mom thing?" Amelia asked lightly glancing over at Abby as she sipped from her mug. Abby paused and rubbed at her face momentarily, squeezing her eyes shut before sighing and looking back at Amelia.

"Yeah." She said as she allowed the air in her lungs to escape from between her pursed lips. "I was actually going to do it this morning, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get her on her own." She said half smiling over at Amelia.

"You know after you talk to her she'll be fine about it right?" Amelia said nodding at Abby reassuringly.

"I hope so." Abby half smiled. "Rightly or wrongly she hates her real mother, or the idea of her anyway, so I don't know, it seems like it could turn into rocky territory if I don't get it right." Abby said with a light laugh.

"She told you she hated Zoë?" Amelia asked with a questioning frown.

"No, she didn't say she actually hated her, but she resents her y'know, you can tell that;" Abby said as Amelia nodded her agreement as Abby continued. "Whenever she's gets into fights and stuff at school it's because the other kids are teasing her about her mother not being there, not wanting her and all of that, and I think it's probably a natural response." Abby said with a pensive, troubled look on her face as she stared across the room.

"It makes you feel horrible for her." Amelia said blinking as she spoke, shaking her head. "She's five y'know, she shouldn't have to try to get her head around abandonment, but she's been much happier since you came on the scene." She smiled looking over at Abby.

"She still doesn't talk though." Abby paused frowning slightly. "Like you know when you do something that Lauren doesn't want you to do or she'll tell you 'no' when she doesn't want to do what you tell her to do, Imogen does that with Nick, but if I ask her to do something that she obviously doesn't want to do she'll just nod and do it." Abby paused and frowned. "Like she's worried about what I'll do if she doesn't do it."

"Abby, she's scared of you going away, of you leaving Nick, and if you leave him in her mind you leave her too, that's why she runs away every time you two have a fight, like you won't if she's not there, it's that thing where kids think the world revolves around them, I guess the down side is that they think that they're responsible for all the bad stuff in their worlds as well. It's completely misguided but she's scared of it, that's all. She does it with all of us, she always does what I tell her to do, Lauren gives me shit and asks why and all the rest of it and she does that with you as well," Amelia said with a smile and a shrug as Abby nodded at her and smiled, 'a pain the ass' was the phrase Amelia and Jasper used, willful was the term she associated with Lauren. "But Imogen's getting better at being disobedient where we're all concerned, which I think means that she feels safer in her position, and I think that's because she's beginning to believe that you're not going anywhere." She finished shooting a relaxed resigned glance in Abby's direction. "Do you want another coffee?" She asked, pushing herself up, holding her hand out for Abby's mug which she handed over obligingly.

"Ok, but then why hasn't she told me that she thinks I'm going to turn into her evil stepmother?" Abby asked frowning slightly as she pushed herself up and headed after Amelia into Maggie's kitchen.

"I don't know, ask her." Amelia said with a shrug as she poured more coffee into the two mugs.

"I'm going to, but she should have told me about it though, all this proves is that she doesn't want to talk to me." Abby frowned as Amelia handed her the coffee.

"No it doesn't, it proves is that she's five, she obviously hasn't told Nick either because he would have told you about it; you're reading too much into this." Amelia said shaking her head as she looked at Abby.

"I'm not reading too much into this Amelia, if I screw this up…" Abby started frustrated as Amelia cut her off.

"Stop it, stop second guessing yourself, all this involves is having a simple conversation with a five year old who hangs off your every word, it's not that difficult, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to do it." Amelia said holding her arms out trying to emphasize her point. Abby stared back at her for a second studying Amelia's face. Amelia sighed and blinked, swinging her head around momentarily before heading towards her bag purposefully, grabbing something out of it and moving on towards the porch leaving Abby behind looking a little baffled.

Abby followed Amelia outside a couple of minutes later, Amelia had walked away and Abby wasn't used to that, she was used to it after she'd retaliated, after she'd told people the way it was, but not after nothing, and so she sat down on the step next to Amelia.

"Why are you pissed?" she asked with a slight frown.

"I'm not pissed." Amelia shook her head as she lit a cigarette, laying the pack on the step, making it more than obvious she was offering one to Abby.

"Right." Abby said with a slight derisory chuckle, extracting a cigarette from the pack beside her.

"I'm not pissed Abby." Amelia said with a smile and a shrug. "I'm not the one whose too fucking pig headed to see when I've got a good thing; life's hard, no one's saying that you haven't had it harder than most, it's not a competition though, no one's telling you that you can't have any of this apart from you, no one's telling you, you don't disserve it or you can't do it apart from you, Maggie wants this for you, as I understand from what Maggie's said, Eric wants it for you, Nick wants you; and Jesus you're fucking lucky to have Nick. You have a little girl, want her or not, you have her, even if you decide not to do this with Nick, you're committed to that little girl, you have to be in her life now, you're too involved with her now to not be a part of her life." Amelia said staring out down the pathway towards her car, the rain was still falling, it wasn't as heavy as last night, it was more of a misty drizzle now, giving everything a hazy gray glow in the mid morning light as they sat side by side on Maggie's back step in their pajamas. Amelia continued after a slight pause, as Abby remained silent.

"Pure, unconditional, unadulterated, love is what that child has for you and I love that kid like she was mine, and you love her like she is yours, Jesus Abby, she is yours, you're the one and only mother that little girl has ever had, you must know that; she has to stop herself now, you've heard her say 'My…' and you know the next word, I know the next word, Christ it breaks my heart for you and for her when she says 'My' and has to pause as she searches for the right name, your name, …all she wants to do with you is call you Mom, and you want that, you as much as told me that yesterday; and I hear Lauren and her have these little, simple five year old discussions on a day to day basis, when you hear a five year old say, 'she's not my real Mom, but she really is because she loves me and she loves my Daddy.' Abby that's the was she feels about it and don't, Jesus, please, don't, for gods sake, don't just discard that." Amelia said, emotion clearing itself from the back of her throat as she coughed and Abby looked on, slightly astounded by Amelia's sober outburst. "You know what." Amelia started again after a slight pause, "Whatever you and Nick do is whatever the pair of you do and that's fine, it's down to you to figure it out, that's your deal, the fact that I think you can do it or that I think the two of you are perfect is irrelevant, but what isn't;" Amelia paused sighing as Abby looked on, still slightly baffled as to where his was going. "What isn't; is the fact that that little girl has to stop herself when she wants to say 'my Mommy'" Amelia finished her eyes holding misunderstanding disbelief. "Abby, whether you and Nick, whether you can figure this out, or whether or not you can allow yourself to believe that you disserve this and you can do this without screwing it up, she chose you, and he did, you've been given this, all you have to do is accept that you want it, and… I can't tell you that you want it, even though I think you do, …but you can't second guess everything, Christ however long you think this through it comes down to two alternatives, do it or don't, and you've already said that you're not prepared to walk away from it, so just stop analyzing it all because you're going to drive yourself mad doing that and worse than that you're going to drive me mad because there are only so many different ways I can think of to say the same thing." Amelia stopped looking frustrated as she finally looked over at Abby.

"She really pauses after she starts with my...?" Abby asked quietly as she looked back at Amelia. Amelia paused and watched Abby for a second before nodding.

"She really does." Amelia said looking down and away from Abby.

"I'm going to have to let myself just run with this aren't I?" Abby said, more to herself than Amelia as she looked out over the yard. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes more, the mist mixing with the wisps of smoke they were both producing.

"I'm sorry for going off on one." Amelia said pensively as she squinted over at Abby, looking a little apologetic.

"Some times that's the only way to get through to people who are fucking pig headed." Abby smiled a little ruefully as she let out a little chuckle and looked over at Amelia who smiled slightly back at her.

They were interrupted by the sounds of two clearly slightly hyperactive five year olds and a dog racing up the path, their little feet splashing through the puddles as they hurtled towards them and Maggie trailed behind carry a couple of shopping bags. Needless to say the dog reached them first and Amelia managed to move her coffee out of the way just in time as the dog headed up the steps and then back down, running between the girls and Abby and Amelia, almost more excitedly than either of the kids.

"Hi." Amelia smiled as Lauren arrived at her legs, shuffling herself between her knees, leaning herself against one of her legs, as the dog ran back out down the path and up to Maggie.

"Hey, where have you guys been?" Abby asked Imogen as she shuffled herself onto Abby's lap and Abby laced her arms around her, securing her in place.

"We went to the market and to the toy store and we went to the park with Dumpy." Imogen informed her twisting herself around to see Abby's face.

"Whose Dumpy?" Amelia asked looking over at Imogen.

"The dog." Abby informed her as Maggie and the aforementioned Dumpy arrived.

"They toy store hunh?" Amelia said suspiciously as she glanced at Imogen who was petting the dog, slightly roughly and down at Lauren who nodded at her and grinned. "That looks like the face of someone who got bought something at the toy store." Amelia smiled at her with a raised eyebrow as Laurens's grin widened.

"Maggie I think it's Dumpy's breakfast time now." Imogen informed Maggie looking up at her.

"I think you might be right there sweetie." Maggie smiled down at her before diverting her attention to Amelia and then Abby. "Good Morning." She smiled between them.

"Morning." Abby half smiled back at her looking up.

"Hi." Amelia smiled back as Imogen shuffled to get out of Abby's grip and tore after Dumpy who was heading back down the path.

"I'm sorry, they were both awake when I got up so I took them with me I hope that's ok." Maggie said darting a questioning glance between Abby and Amelia who both shrugged looking up at her.

"It's brave." Amelia asserted with a slight chuckle as Abby smiled at Maggie.

"Imogen." Abby yelled suddenly at the top of her voice, "Shit, Imogen, Imogen," She yelled slightly more quietly as she bounced up off the step and hurled herself down the path barefooted as she sprinted down the tarmac, through the puddles. Amelia and Maggie turned to look, and Amelia stood up, quickly, sliding Lauren out from between her legs as she moved down a step and watched Abby catch Imogen and pull her backwards out of the road as a car splashed past and the dog began to bark beside them. Amelia gave Lauren's shoulder a quick squeeze as she headed away, towards Imogen and Abby, whose chest was heaving as she held Imogen. Maggie was still watching as she felt Lauren's warm little hand slip into hers, she squeezed it reassuringly as Abby put Imogen down and bent towards her.

"Shall we get some breakfast started?" Maggie asked quietly, tending to Lauren, bending towards her as she had her eyes focused on Amelia's back, darting between her mother and her best friend and Abby. Maggie gathered Lauren's eyes and she slowly began to nod at her. "Dumpy." Maggie called and he came obediently running as she and Lauren headed inside and Abby started with Imogen.

"What's the rule about roads?" Abby asked her voice interrupted by her subsiding panic as she tried to remain calm and talk to Imogen. "Imm, what's the rule about crossing roads?" Abby said gathering Imogen's slightly bewildered attention as she watched the dog run up the steps and into Maggie's house. Imogen turned her eyes to Abby's.

"d'upsand" Imogen mumbled quietly looking into Abby's eyes.

"Tell me properly Imm." Abby prompted her as she bent her knees and they clicked as she crouched down in front of Imogen. Amelia was standing just behind Imogen now, watching them; she had no intention of going anywhere, apart from anything else Abby looked as though she was about to have a heart attack.

"Hold a grown-ups hand." Imogen said quietly looking between the wet pavement and Abby, who was nodding almost wide-eyed at her.

"You do, Imm, you really, really do, it's not just a made up rule, it's a big, important rule." Abby nodded at her, her voice forceful as she spoke. "D'you understand me?" She asked holding Imogen's eyes as her voice took on an extreme parental seriousness Amelia had never heard Abby express before. "Immo, do you hear that?" Abby asked again in the same tone as Imogen began to nod and looked on the verge of tears. "Imm, you can't just wander out into the road." Abby shook her head, her voice taking on a slightly panicky edge at the very thought. "You can't Imogen you're too little, the other cars can't see you, it's dangerous it's really, really dangerous." She said as she stared into Imogen's eyes and Imogen stared back, desperately trying to stop her bottom lip quivering. "Look here, feel this." Abby said taking hold of Imogen's hand and bringing it towards her heart, she placed her own hand over Imogen's as she paused, her breathing subsiding slightly from little short, sharp blasts. "You feel that?" She asked as Imogen took a step towards her, pressing her little hand more firmly into Abby's chest and nodding.

"It's really fast." She said quietly, staring into Abby's eyes as she put her other hand to her own heart and checking.

"It feels like it might explode." Abby nodded at her, "That's why you have to hold a grown-ups hand Imm." She said bring her hand and Imogen's away from her still rapidly beating heart.

"If I don't your heart splodes?" Imogen asked innocently, frowning slightly as she rested her hand on Abby's knee.

"No, Imm, but it scares me, you don't wander out into the road because it scares me and when I get that scared then my heart goes really, really fast and then it feels like it's going to explode." Abby told her, emphasizing the 'don't' part of wandering out into the road.

"I made your heart go all bumpy like that?" Imogen asked her eyes growing as she talked, looking a little scared as Abby nodded. "I won't do it again, I don't want your heart to splode." She said earnestly, her big brown eyes swimming.

"Promise me you wont do it again." Abby said softly as she held onto Imogen's eyes.

"I won't." Imogen nodded at her as she gathered her into her arms and stood up bringing her onto her hip, squeezing her close to her body and closing her eyes, sighing slowly. "Are we all good?" Imogen asked arching her back slightly as she leaned away from Abby to look at her. 'We're all good' was a phrase her father and Amelia used so frequently when they were explaining serious stuff that she'd picked it up as the sign for telling off time to be over.

"If you never ever, ever do that again then we're all good." Abby said after a pause opening her eyes and looking into Imogen's.

"I definitely, definitely won't." Imogen assured her, shaking her head vehemently.

"Ok." Abby said nodding back at her.

"Abby" Imogen started again after a pause as Abby kissed her forehead and sighed again. "Can I go give Dumpy his breakfast 'cause Maggie said that I could get to do it." She said as she looked back at Abby. Abby sighed one final time in an effort to get her heart to return to a normal regular, breathable beat.

"Yeah, go on then." She said, releasing her grip on Imogen as she placed her back on her feet and watched her run towards the house for a second before she turned and laid her forearms on the side of Amelia's car, resting her head between her hands as she continued to breath deeply. "Jesus Christ." She breathed as she gathered herself together.

"You ok?" Amelia asked quietly from beside her.

"Fuck me, that scared the shit out of me." Abby said with a hint of disbelieving entirely inappropriate laughter as she shook her head and looked at Amelia, blinking a couple of times.

"Yeah." Amelia said quietly nodding her ascent as she let out a controlled breath and Abby turned her body around, leaning her back against the side of the car, tipping her head back, covering her face with her hands as Amelia crossed her arms over her chest and watched her. "I think you may have just answered all the questions you had about how you feel about her and how to deal with her right there." Amelia said quietly, washing one bare toe back and forth over the little stream of rainwater traveling along the pavement towards the gutter, watching it momentarily before bringing her head up and looking over at Abby who was lifting her head up off the car to look at Amelia, who raised both eyebrows and shrugged as if proving her point as she met Abby's eyes.

In a way she had.

Ok, I did the one thing that in this chapter that promised myself I wouldn't do which is where something happens so they have some kind of life changing epiphany. (Although thinking back as I am now, I think I may have done it before but anyway…)

I hope it was ok, and as ever let me know, and also, let me tell you that the first part of this chapter is my favorite part and the part I think is best written, so give it a quick check again before you review, because the whole thing was so long! – I think it's kind of funny – (there's arrogance for you!) Thanks for your continued interest even if you're just reading and not reviewing, cheers Kay xx