By Misty Raia
mE: Chapter 4 is here! And though I want to include here their meet-up, I can't. This chapter is full of self-sentiments of Sakura. There would be also a new character showing up so better watch out. Would it be…? Ne, just see for yourself! Yay! Thanks for your reviews! Yay!
pReViOuSLy:
'You like him!'
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Sakura shook her head vigorously. She tried to stamp into her mind that 'No! That can't be. And you have Sasuke, remember?' She sighed with relief and decided to wash her face. The gentle foam of the facial soap caressed her pores, making her relaxed for a bit. It's really awful, especially to her part, when she can't brush away unwanted thoughts from her head. Instead, they keep on coming back! The more she rejects them, the more it screams inside.
"No thinking, no writing, no staying up late, no coffee." Sakura said with outmost frustration. She doesn't need to worry now. Her book will be due next month, and it's two days before Saturday. Her nuisance will soon subside and it would be back to normal again. But now, Sakura decided to rest herself from all the aggravation she felt. It will be like a pizza deliverer having her day-out from a week's work.
But… I'm more that a deliverer! For god's sake, I'm a writer! Those are two different things and neither the two is applicable to her. She's a writer. She knows that. But she's also a human, you know, getting frustrated and hungry for sometime, and she must do her work to earn. There are much more important things to think about rather than scabbing for something like… like that!
"Okay, tomorrow I won't write, I won't think about him or even Sasuke for that matter." She felt her voice collapsed as she mentioned Sasuke. She can make exceptions anytime. After all, this is her decision and she must do her best not to regret anything.
She felt contented for her new plan and the first thing she did when she woke up (9:00 AM) was to borrow books from the library.
After she took a light shower and put her white t-shirt and plain jeans, she stared at her new self in the mirror. Nothing really changed; she looks as still as before. But the usual disgust and boredom seemed to cease out. That would be great! At least her 12-hour sleep did made something good to her. She just let her hair locks to fall naturally on her shoulders and her cheeks were strangely pink. Maybe something good will happen! But she's not expecting either.
As usual, she's taking this route towards the park, because the library was adjacent to it. The last time she's squandering in this track was when she was supposed to meet up with Sasuke. But to everyone's dismay, it didn't turn out that good. But that would just be a memory untouched. She'll meet him tomorrow and that is the only thing that mattered. That had been her most anticipated day of her short life.
When she reached the tree, there were scenes that kept on flashing her mind. The red hue flickered to her, distracting her real trail. What's with that guy? She asked herself. She's positive she haven't meet her, and his behavior is a lot worst to those living at the cliffs of South Africa. He's not that nice though he's striking.
"Shucks! I don't even know his name…" Sakura felt disappointed at this thought. This would be the second time that she let somebody slip. It was just a damn name, why can't she get it? At least she was able to tell something about him to her friends sometime. She really hates it especially when she tends to forget something she as about to ay, or ask. And it felt so frustrating after that! Or was she just making excuses because she was just afraid of the possible consequences that might happen?
Whatever it is, I don't care anymore! You see, there are those who you met which you think are really important but it's only in the end that you realize that they don't deserve you. Sakura knows that. Those lines, most of the times, appear on her novels. She's an expert at that stance.
"Since when did I saw guys as attractive as him?" Sakura whispered for a second. Oh well, maybe that's it. She had never seen a guy like him since… since Sasuke. And it would be normal to be paying attention to him. "And I won't deny the fact that he's my type. But that doesn't reassure that I would be having dates and what-so-ever stuffs like that."
She's lying to herself again. Even though she's aware of this habit of her, she seemed to neglect it because that's the only thing she can do. And she can get away safely by this. You know, sometimes, dictating to your mind what you think is right and what you really wanna do is the best thing than letting your heart decide.
It has been a month since Sakura saw the parapet of this library. As she grows older, her fondness in reading seems to decelerate in a certain trend. But she can proudly tell anybody that because of this public lib, she developed awareness when it comes to the things that were amounting.
She greeted the librarian who was very tender when it comes to her. Sakura was aware that the library held copies of her books, but always feeling a bit self-conscious when someone will approach her for an autograph. Sometimes, she felt so happy and over-whelming seeing people reading and admiring her works. That's why every time she writes, she makes sure that her readers would be able to enjoy it.
Shelves upon shelves, books upon books… Everyone was busy reading or searching his or her favorite authors. When Sakura glided to her much-loved column, she decided to have something to read to eat her time. Almost everyday, this shelf was being updated with paperbacks of the most controversial authors of all times.
"Ernest Hemingway was not that my type," Sakura jolted upon seeing one of his books. She can still remember when she heard that the author just committed suicide. Well, sometimes, it just depends to the author whether they will pursue writing or not. If their answer is no, the only possible solution to rest silently against the raging inks and pens would be by slicing your wrists and ending up all.
"But I don't wanna end up like that!" said Sakura, definitely free from anxiety. Even though everything will just blow up or become a mess, never did she thought of killing herself.
It took Sakura about an hour to finally settle on the book she wants to read. She never dared to touch The Alchemist for the fear of seeing herself in one of the characters. But now, she found enough courage to do it. Being held the book on her right hand, she started to find herself a nice place to read. And, with no doubt, that would be the table near the last window.
She walked silently as she passed through the children's corner, where she saw books about nature, and other fairy tales. That section of the lib became her favorite spot until she was exposed to the works of Twain.
When she arrived at the table, she was surprise because no one occupied the adjacent chairs. Sakura find the seat comfortable as she started leafing the page of the book. It is almost perfect when you are reading in the part of the library when you can see the people walking by in the streets, the greenery of the trees and the light was just enough for your reading. And this is what Sakura felt.
She had been stressing herself these days. She wasn't able to relax both her body and mind for weeks. She had been thinking nonsense things that don't help her in every way. It is such a good fad that she was able to find peace at this moment.
She was exactly at page 20 when someone asked her if the seat beside her was already taken. In a day like this, you must be as polite as you can be. Especially when the surroundings conspires everything.
"Oh, no, you can have it" she replied courteously, being carried away on her reading. Sakura didn't even take time to look at the one who asked for the seat.
"Hey, it's you!"
When Sakura heard the familiar voice, she felt a burst of excitement and happiness. Could this be… could this be…
"Ino, is that you?" Sakura faced the blonde girl at her back. It was her, Yamanaka Ino, her best friend way back when she didn't even know how to write. She had grown slender and full of poise and her eyes of blue glitters as she gave a cheerful smile.
Sakura stood up and welcomed her with a nice hug. It had been five years since they met and the last time would be their graduation in high school. Who would expect that these motivation-that-turned-up-to-be-a-therapy could bring you your best friend that you haven't seen for some time.
"Hey, you didn't tell me you were here!" Sakura said as her eyes started to water. She can't control herself to be emotion especially when it comes to times like this. This unplanned reunion is really a good surprise for both of them.
Ino tried to hold on hers but apparently, they both broke into their tears. Sakura was really happy, happy to the extent that she wants to stop everything and spend the rest of the time chitchatting about their old friends, their jobs, their latest likes and apparently everything!
"This is a hell of a meet-up, don't you think?" Ino said as she wiped away her tears. She pulled the vacant seat beside Sakura and tried to open things up.
"Ohh, I've read your books!" Ino almost screamed with excitement, as if one of the rabid reviewers of her books who wants to have her autograph. But it had been long since she had one but the feeling didn't really cease out.
Everyone in the lib, including the librarian, eyed them both with much more annoyance. Ino just stuck her tongue and grinned satisfactorily while Sakura gestured apologies to all of them.
"You know, I was just finding a seat and I saw this pink-haired-girl that reminded me of a best friend that was once a coffee addict," whispered Ino as Sakura giggled.
"I didn't recognize you that instance. Oh, my, you really changed!" Sakura smiled, staring hypothetically to her long-lost friend. It's not everyday that someone will be bumping into a friend they once knew after four to five years. She might as well savor the event as far as she can.
Ino waved her pony-tailed hair before breaking into laughter. The readers glared to them for the second time, signaling both of them to hush. The two felt small, as if shrinking from all the glares they received from the readers.
"Would you prefer chit-chatting by the café? That would be much more liberating!" suggested Ino that was given a quick nod by Sakura. Both of them returned the books they were supposed to read to their respective shelves. Something is really more important rather than books, she thought. Sakura waved goodbye to the friendly librarian as Ino held her hand.
They were still laughing when they entered the café until they were seated. Sakura was a bit puzzled on how Ino acts. She had been laughing and laughing and laughing, as if not being tired at all. She stared her for a minute and saw how grateful she is for meeting her once again. With that, Sakura beamed enthusiastically with her.
"So, how's life?" started Ino as she sipped her cup of cappuccino.
"Just like it used to be. I still have to meet deadlines and other stuffs," Sakura replied with outmost hatred and anger. She plainly stared at her mug of black coffee and waited for her answer. But to her surprise, Ino just laughed out. Her face started to turn red as Sakura stared her weirdly. "Did I said something funny?"
"The last time you complained about your life was when we're about to graduate. And look at you now; you're still the girl I met way back. You never changed." Ino was still laughing when Sakura laughed with her. It was Sakura's fifteenth birthday since they last laughed like that.
Their talk went on hours as Ino continued to laugh while Sakura jolts on every problem she has. Ino still sticks on her conclusion that Sakura never really changed. Her physical appearance did but the rest, it's still the crybaby she used to be.
On the contrary, from Sakura's perspective, Ino did changed. She's not the simple girl she used to know. She was sophisticated in a sense that she always has poise and composure. She had grown tall and slim, and even envies her hair. She was also witty way back. And she used to give her puzzles that will technically drive you to nuts.
"Oh, tell me about your new book. Please," Ino begged but Sakura insisted.
"It'll be a surprise! Well-known authors like me don't give away hints to their new books," she smiled. Ino just frowned.
"So, where are you staying?"
"It's not far from here. My editor wants me to live here," Sakura explained. "He wants me to be motivated by my surroundings," she added. Ino's eyes dazzled when Sakura told her about her ups and downs in being a writer, there were times when pressure affects her writing. Sometimes, her works were being rejected too after thinking for it for about two months. "There is also an instance where my ed rejected three of my books in a row! And I don't get a pay in that!"
Ino became excited again before she hugged her friend. "I'm proud of you!" she exclaimed as she took the last sip of her coffee.
They talked about their lives for the next hour, where they decided to take their lunch in the same café. Ino told Sakura that she's been studying until now to be a doctor. She just had her semester break so she unfalteringly went to the library for some reviews.
"Hinata-chan is still studying. She wants to take up business management. And Naruto's reviewing for his upcoming board exams," narrated Ino as Sakura grinned expectedly with every name she mentions. "Shikamaru already has his job but he doesn't want to tell me what or where he's working. Neji-san is the most successful of them all. He owns now a company that he inherited from his parents. Isn't that great?"
"But he hasn't told us about that, right? I hope I have parents with companies everywhere, just like Neji so I won't be writing miserably here," whispered Sakura. Truly, Neji had been the most stylish from them all. He used to talk about business stuffs but neither anyone of them imagined that he'll be able to put up a company for that manner.
"Hey, cheer up! Neji-san envies you because you are able to publish books! All of us envy you! We all think that you are the one who's happy now. You see, being a heir is not that easy!" explained Ino. But Sakura's face just fell.
"I wonder if I forgot someone," murmured Ino. "I think that's it!"
Sakura was happy that she met Ino again. It's not just coincidence to see a friend in the middle of a library in an eminent city. It's more of fate, especially when the two are bound to meet sooner or later. At this moment of glee, Sakura remembered Sasuke out of nowhere.
She asserted for a while before she told Ino about it. "Are you going to believe me if I tell you Sasuke's here?"
Ino was about to drink her mango juice when her eyes widened with shock. After an hour when she finished her cup, they decided to order drinks again. She placed her glass beside her before she was able to utter a word. "You mean Uchiha Sasuke?" she repeated. "You really are kidding." Ino started to nod her head as if Sakura had said nothing.
She expected this kind of reaction. Who would think that their ex-classmate way back in grade school is here? I mean, he's not just an ordinary ex-classmate. He's Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke, the most popular boy in their class, the boy who seemed so distant yet so cheerful when he's with them, the boy who unwieldy left after their graduation day.
"No, I'm not kidding, Ino." Sakura said plainly. "Does it sound that I am?"
Ino didn't just stared to her with astonishment. She even stood up from where she was seated before contemplating everything. "No way…" she exclaimed as moved her head from left to right. "No way, Sakura," she repeated but Sakura just stared at her.
Ino then realized she was acting awkwardly in public so she calmed herself and took her seat again. She's still waiting for Sakura to take back what she said but Sakura's eyes remained fixed at her. "You mean… Have you met him?" she asked excitedly.
"No, not yet…" Sakura replied, almost giving out a heavy sigh.
"Then how did you know he was here?"
"I was able to chat with him, you know." Sakura answered calmly as if not expecting another question from her. She never assumed Ino to believe her, and just as Sasuke said in one of their conversations, Internet is really a big crap and she can't trust anyone.
"How? Where?" Ino almost broke out if it wasn't for Sakura's stillness. She's even excited to see him too! And she's not the type that denies her affection for someone she really liked most. Ino's aware that once, when they were having their field trip way back, she was attracted by the powerful aura of that boy. But she never had the courage to tell him. And that's the reason why she regretted every single moment she should've told him.
"It's a very long story. But we will be meeting tomorrow at the Music Factory," Sakura said.
"Oh my god! Can I come?" she asked impatiently to Sakura.
She just gave her a curt nod. Three is not really crowd for Sakura, and the bigger the better it would turn out to be. And besides, Ino was their friend too and it would be too selfish to her part if she won't invite her up. Ino giggled in excitement before she was able to speak.
"Thanks, Sakura!" She almost squeezed Sakura with joy. She can't believe that she'll be meeting Sasuke, after so many years.
"I'll be wearing a pink dress," Sakura interrupted. "Sasuke said he'd be in blue."
"Okay! But what will I wear?" Ino asked. She had not been that self-conscious when it comes to clothes but this is Sasuke! "Would it be nice if I'll wear a pink shirt too?"
Sakura gave another nod as she smiled to her friend.
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It's already 7:30 when Sakura reached her compartment. Ino asked her if she could help her in shopping for the dress she'll wear tomorrow. She can't help but to smile as her friend became so excited about the meeting. Well, she can't blame her. Even she's thrilled that's why she let herself being carried away by Ino. Perhaps, the meeting would not turn up any better if she hadn't told her about their it. And Ino's initial reaction made Sakura feel contented. She can still remember when they were in the mall, she can't even resist to buy a new pink shirt.
Sakura tried to rest herself on her bed but she's unable to sleep. It had been a draining day for her, yet her mind didn't came to break. There's something ringing inside her head though she tried to ignore it, it kept on coming back.
She gave a deep sigh before she went to the bathroom to have a nice bath. That would be the only mean to overcome this sickness she felt. The warm water caressed her muscles but that didn't gave her mind what it needs. She looked at her hands for a minute. But she only ends up feeling a bit guilty, and blameworthy without sense. The highways inside her head are starting to build up a traffic jam and Sakura can't seem to just ignore it. She sank her body deeper to her tub and stared at the bubbles.
"What now? You must be happy because you met Ino again. She had been your best friend, you share thoughts and problems, and she's more that what meets your eye. So why are you having these crazy stuffs in your head?" Sakura can't help but the talk to herself, but her advises don't seem to fit.
Sakura was aware that Ino had a little 'crush' on her Sasuke when they were still young. And that's the reason why once they fought. "But it was just a simple and petty one. And besides, that won't mean that she'll automatically have him." And would be totally impolite if she haven't told her that. She's her best friend! There were times when she thought she could just breakdown and cry but she's there to help her. Isn't that enough to trust someone she really used to know?
But Sakura can't cheat herself this time. She was supposed to meet the guy of her dreams, the guy she secretly love, and that won't be ruined especially with her best friend around. 'You should've told Ino that your going to meet up with Sasuke. I bet you'll regret it!' That voice inside her head started to dominate her again. It's not right to be selfish and if that's it, why does she have to worry?
"I know Sasuke won't mind…"
Her mind started to dictate things to her. Confusion filled her head as she clasped her hands. 'But what if it won't end up as you expected? What if Sasuke fell for her? And it'll be all because of you. Can't you see it? You already lost Sasuke once, so, do you want to happen that again?'
"I'm really going insane! Who would think something like that particularly to a best friend?" Sakura scratched her head fervently before she splashed her face with warm water, thinking that would cease her unwanted perceptions. "Besides, Sasuke won't do that…"
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Jersey-07: Hi there
Sakura was eating a donut when a message just popped out on her screen. She was supposed to research something about her topic in her new novel so she connected to the Internet. And she must really exert effort at this one because of her 'inspiration' and she can't afford this one to be rejected, you know, Christmas is fast approaching, she must make sure that she has something to spend in during this yuletide season.
She felt her heart stopped from its beating as she read the words. Tomorrow is Saturday, meaning, they would have to meet. But don't forget Ino, she'll be joining us. Sakura felt a curl upon her stomach as she mentioned the words Ino and joining.
Myx-Writer: Hello
Yeah, right. This is what all she could say. Almost every minute, she had been waiting for this kind of conversation but here she was, just typing a simple hello… Then, she just crossed her legs into her chair as she waited for his reply.
Jersey-07: Tomorrow is Saturday
Myx-Writer: Yeah, I know
Myx-Writer: I've been looking forward in it!
Jersey-07: Me too
Jersey-07: I hope this time it won't fail
Myx-Writer: I bet it won't
Myx-Writer: Anyway, do you remember Yamanaka Ino?
Myx-Writer: That blonde girl that we used to play with?
Jersey-07: Oh, Ino, why?
Myx-Writer: You see, I meet her when I was in the library and I spent the whole day with her. We ate in a nearby café and I enjoyed her company. And I've also told her about you.
Myx-Writer: And…
Jersey-07: And?
Myx-Writer: And I asked her if she wants to come into our meeting in the Music Factory. If that's okay with you…
Jersey-07: That would be great!
Okay, Sakura had never expected this kind of reaction. That would be great! Yeah, fine. Something is telling her that at this particular time of the day, she made two decisions she would regret. One, when she told Ino something about Sasuke and their meeting. Two, when she told Sasuke about Ino. But what's with those two?
She pouted silently in front of the computer screen. She tried to tap the keyboard to let out a reply, but something's paralyzing her, making Sakura unable to respond. She reverted her thoughts by staring at the nearby window. It's snowing. Of course, it's snowing! It's just a few weeks before Christmas. And her mind started to dictate what's happening around her again.
An exasperated sigh escaped from Sakura's mouth. Her never-ending drowning-into-her-dreams habit began. She rested her chin on the table, her arms crossed and half-hiding her face, her eyes fixed on the window. She felt a bit frustrated and at the same time, she felt a heavy burden resting on her shoulders. Ino always had that crush thing on Sasuke, Sakura knows that. But it really hurts being stuck in the middle of the both of them.
Sakura was aware that Sasuke doesn't have feelings to Ino, but at the same time, she also knows that he doesn't have feelings for her either. It's just… It's just because things are so complicated nowadays! Just like in a typical novel. If the first line of a story starts with 'and they lived happily ever after', it would be dull and boring. There won't be any trills. But the problem arouses in that. Ironically, if so many trills hinder a love story, they won't basically end up living together happily. Why is that when she starts to think, her mind reverts all advises and counseling that are present in her works?
Isn't that it's better to lose your pride over the one you truly love, than to lose your loved one over your useless pride? Then why can't she have the guts to tell him how much she loves him? On one of her books, she wrote that happiness only lies for those who cry, those who are hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives. But how come she doesn't feel that certain happiness; instead, it's emptiness, guilt and regression.
"But I like him. I really like him," she said as tears ran down her face.
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Sakura tried to open her eyes as a glint of sunlight penetrated her face. Her head terribly hurts and her vision went blur. She felt a bit nauseous when she remembered what happened yesterday. She slowly pushed herself away from the monitor and noticed that it's already 6:10 AM.
"What happened here?" she asked herself. Her computer screen went black but she was certain that it was in stand-by mode. Her arms were numb, maybe because she slept unto it. Sakura was not aware of what really went down yesterday, all she knew was that her head was starting to contract migraine. When she accidentally moved the mouse, the monitor initiated and began to display distorted letters. She rubbed her eyes and felt that they were hot before she was able to read what's written in it.
Buzz!
Jersey-07: Hey, what happened?
Jersey-07: Hello? Still there?
Jersey-07: Are you mad?
Jersey-07: Have I offended you or something?
Jersey-07: What?
Jersey-07: I bet you fell asleep! :D Hey!
Jersey-07: Okay, I give up! Sorry, if there's something I said… whatever…
Buzz!
Jersey-07: I'll be waiting until 2 AM, if you won't give me a reply… I'll…
Jersey-07: That's it! I'll cut this one off if you won't reply.
Sakura was petrified from where she was seated. So, that's it. Everything went back to her remembrance. She must doze asleep in the middle of her hysteria. And that would be leaving Sasuke on air for the whole night! She checked the status of her connection and learned that her Internet was running for 9 hours! Her hands started to sweat and she can't even move a finger. Maybe it's because the numbness that resulted from the pillowing of it for the whole night. Sakura read Sasuke's messages again, then again. She kept on reading it until she committed every word to memory. She was tempted to reply, but in the lower left, it wrote:
Jersey-07 has signed off.
What if he got really mad at her? Anyone would be offended in her action last night. What if he became used up and his patience started to wear off towards her? What if it was he who got offended in the end? What if Sasuke won't come at the Music Factory at seven because of what she's done? What if he got too fed up that he'd block her? What if he was so annoyed that he won't chat with her anymore? What if… what would happen if… what would happen if he just wouldn't reply, just like what she had done last night?
But it's not her fault. Okay, she fell into a deep sleep, but it wasn't her idea to leave Sasuke alone in the chat room. If only she knew, she hadn't thought of Ino herself in the first place! That's it! I'll cut this one off if you won't reply. What does that mean?
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mE: Yay! Chapter 4 is finished! But I haven't started the next one yet. Maybe I'll update after a week. And thanks for those who reviewed. Uhm, my curiosity is just burning up to that one who reviewed me in the pen name of Anonymous. Whoah, I can say that he/she/it/whatever O.o paid so much attention in that particular chapter! I have also thought of how my story would really go, meaning, I have the flow already in my control! I don't know if I can drag this one to have ten chapters or more, but I'm itching to write chapter 5!