A fire was burning in the hearth. The chess table was set up, but Boromir ignored it, instead taking a seat in one of the sturdy wood-and-red-leather chairs beside the fire. Faramir took off his jacket and joined Boromir without a word. His face wore an oddly apprehensive expression.
Despite the tension of the moment, Boromir could not help laughing. "Such a long face! Anyone would think I was going to scold you!" he teased. In a more serious tone, he added, "Remember, I'm not Father. Now, tell me what's troubling you."
Faramir was silent for a long moment, staring into the fire as if trying to decide where to begin. Small points of reflected light flickered in his eyes. Finally, he said, "While you were gone, I went out with the Rangers again."
Boromir nodded encouragingly, but Faramir did not seem to know how to go on. Sitting back patiently, Boromir waited for him to organize his thoughts and wondered what could have happened on this second training mission to upset him so much.
He had half-expected to see this kind of reaction after the first mission. Though Faramir trained dutifully and his teachers were satisfied with his progress, he had never shown any real relish for soldiering. Boromir had privately worried that the experience of killing in battle might unnerve him, and had made a point of seeking Faramir out when the Rangers returned that time. He'd been relieved to find his brother only shaken and sobered, seemingly aged several years in a week, but resolute. The Ranger captain had even praised his coolheadedness during his first battle. Boromir had thought at the time that Faramir's worst trial was over, so what could be troubling him more than that?
At last Faramir spoke again. "While I was there, the scouts reported a large band of orcs coming down from the mountains near Cirith Ungol. Captain Herion decided to set an ambush for them near the Crossroads, and he took the Rangers-in-training along. He said he would need every hand, since the orcs outnumbered us by a good margin."
"He placed his students in so much danger?" Boromir asked indignantly.
Faramir shrugged. "We were positioned as securely as possible. The plan was to kill them all quickly, before they could come close enough for hand-to-hand fighting."
Boromir flinched inwardly at hearing the words "kill them all" from his brother's mouth. Not that he wouldn't say similar things himself without a second thought, but it sounded unnatural coming from Faramir.
"So we took our places," Faramir continued, "and fired on the captain's signal. And on the second round, I--" He stopped and scowled at the hearthstones. "There was no excuse for it. It was a clear day. I was well-rested. The sun wasn't in my eyes. I simply...missed my shot."
Boromir's blood ran cold. A stray arrow on the battlefield could inflict a lot of damage. Did Faramir accidentally shoot one of his comrades? he wondered in a panic. But then Father would have been angrier at dinner--he'd take forever to get over such a thing--they both would--Faramir would still be in disgrace, surely--
Faramir was still speaking. "I shot an orc in the gut."
Relief washed over Boromir, followed quickly by puzzlement. "What's wrong with that? It sounds as if you did very well."
Faramir jerked his head up and stared. "What's wrong?" he asked with something like indignation. "I shot it in the gut. It was...writhing on the ground and clutching at the arrow. I could hear it shrieking from where I stood." The words were tumbling out now. "I couldn't move. I couldn't tear my eyes away. I couldn't hear anything but that sound, and I wanted so much to make it stop, but it was as if my mind had seized up. I just stood there--it seemed like an hour..." Faramir trailed off with a shudder. He turned to stare into the fire again, though Boromir doubted he saw the flames.
Boromir understood then, or thought he did. Raw young soldiers were sometimes taken like this by their first taste of the reality of battle. Either they learned to move past it, or they did not survive long. And he could well believe that the orc's agony had been compelling. When every recruit took his lessons in simple field medicine, he was strongly warned about the dangers of abdominal wounds, for they were known to cause a slow and intensely painful death.
But this was not Faramir's first experience of battle. He had killed before, more than once already, and while he plainly did not enjoy it, it had not affected him to this degree. Boromir pointed this out.
Faramir shook his head. "The others were...cleaner. Just one shot and it was over. This was the first time I saw a creature in such agony...."
"An orc. A servant of Sauron," Boromir reminded him.
"Orc or not, it was in terrible pain," said Faramir stubbornly. "And I caused it."
"You stopped it from dealing even worse to your comrades."
"Now you sound exactly like the captain." Faramir sat back crossly in his chair.
Boromir sighed and let the point go. "So what did you do?"
"When I could move again, I took another arrow and shot it through the neck."
Boromir frowned. "I know you meant to be kind," he began gently, "but that was not well done. You put everyone in danger when you hesitate...."
"I know, I know!" Faramir snapped. "I heard all this from the captain too! He said mercy was all very well, but not to throw it away on orcs. He told me I should never waste time in a battle, to say nothing of arrows. He said I must learn to harden my heart and move on to the next target because"--Faramir swallowed--"otherwise it could have been him or me or one of the others writhing on the ground with an arrow through the gut. He bade me remember that my first duty was to the company, and said I should think always of protecting my friends instead of worrying about wounded enemies. I think he must have scolded me for a quarter of an hour altogether."
A hard lesson, but a necessary one, Boromir thought sadly. Aloud he said, "Does Father know?"
"Of course," Faramir replied with a touch of bitterness. "All of my teachers have strict instructions to report everything I do, did you not know that?"
"And has he said anything?"
"He gave me a shorter version of the captain's lecture. Only 'duty to the company' was replaced with 'duty to Gondor.' And they're right--of course they're right. I do want to protect my fellows, and Gondor. I would kill a thousand orcs every day if I knew it would keep us safe. But--I--" His voice became jerky, one fist clenching nervously on his knee. "If I must--I can, I will kill to defend Gondor, but I would have it be clean, and without giving such pain if I can."
Comprehension dawned on Boromir. "And so you practice with your bow even on a night like this, so that it will not happen again."
Faramir nodded and slumped a little in his seat. Boromir idly noticed that he looked very thin, and then suddenly realized that he was still growing. And already he must concern himself with matters of war. His heart ached with the wish that he could have spared his brother this experience, that he could somehow have brought peace to Gondor so Faramir could follow another profession more to his liking.
A gust of wind blew down the chimney, scattering sparks from the fire. Several of them fell into the pale ashes on the hearthstone and slowly winked out, one by one. Neither of the brothers spoke for some time. Then Boromir rose, walked over to where Faramir sat, and grasped his shoulders with both hands.
"Faramir, listen to me. I think what you did was absolutely right. Not"--he held up one hand to forestall the protest clearly rising to Faramir's lips--"from a strategic point of view. I know you understand that now, so I won't belabor that point. But you did what your conscience commanded, and that can never be wrong. If we did not do that, we'd be no better than creatures of Sauron ourselves."
Faramir was blinking back tears. "None of the others understood," he said in a choked voice.
"They do understand," said Boromir. "Yes, even Father. They just want you to be a good soldier. And so do I." He smiled. "I want you to keep practicing with your bow in all weathers so that when you go out again I can rest easy, knowing you are the best shot in Gondor!"
Faramir managed a small smile at that. Boromir looked at him closely.
"It does have to be done, you know," he said.
"I know," Faramir answered in a soft voice. Wryly he added, "Do you think I'd willingly become a soldier if I didn't realize that?"
"I know you would not," Boromir responded. He leaned down and kissed Faramir's forehead, then squeezed his shoulder affectionately. "Come now," he said in a lighter tone as he returned to his seat. "I have the rest of the night before I must leave. Tell me what else happened while I was away, and perhaps we can have a game of chess.""And I'll beat you," said Faramir, his mouth stretching into a genuine grin for the first time since dinner.
"Don't be too sure," Boromir admonished. "I played Grandfather often in Dol Amroth, and he might even teach Father a trick or two!"
Next morning, Boromir set out in the late, grey dawn to rejoin his company in Osgiliath. He would have liked to see Faramir again before leaving, but the two of them had talked far into the night; Faramir was probably still asleep.
He collected his horse from the stable in the Sixth Circle, just outside the Citadel gate, and rode down through the quiet streets. To his left and far below, a sea of fog rolled over the Pelennor. It would burn off when the sun rose, and this unseasonably early snow would undoubtedly melt as well.
As he passed beneath the gate leading to the Fifth Circle, a sudden cold whiteness obscured his vision. For an instant he was completely disoriented, unable to fathom why he could not see, why his face stung with cold, what was trickling under his collar and down the back of his neck....
He reached up to wipe the snow from his face, reflexively pulling back on the reins to stop his horse at the same time. A crow of familiar laughter sounded above him. Once his eyes were clear, he could see Faramir's face looking down from one of the murder-holes in the gatehouse roof. An empty bucket dangled from his hand and his eyes gleamed with delighted mischief.
"That's what I've learned from the Rangers, brother," Faramir called down. "Attack by stealth, when your enemy least expects it!"
Boromir rose in his stirrups, shaking his fist upward in mock-anger. "Come down here so I can thrash you for that!"
"I will not!" Faramir replied with an infuriating grin. "The Rangers have also taught me to attack from a distance whenever possible!"
"You won't be so cheeky when you've nothing left to throw because it's all melted," Boromir growled, but he was unable to hold back his smile any longer. The brothers grinned at each other for a moment, and then Boromir heaved a sigh. "But I cannot wait that long, as I must be in Osgiliath by breakfast-time," he said ruefully. "Take care--and be sure to practice!"
"I will!" Faramir answered. "Safe journey!"
And with a wave, Boromir rode into the grey dawn.
END
Author's Notes: A big "thank you" to all who reviewed! Some quick responses...
Jopru, lotrroxmysox, and katieelessar: Sorry, I wasn't trying to make this frustrating! I was afraid there would be no suspense because everyone would just go check "The Fifteenth of January" to see what the trouble was--lol!
Rosie26: Heheh, if you want to warm up Faramir, you'll have to get in line behind me!! But I'll let you have a turn as thanks for your very kind comments. And I certainly wouldn't say no to seeing much more of the Brothers of Gondor....
szhismine and Scary Vampiress: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
nautika: Glad to hear this went well with a snowy day. You read most of the really "snowy" bits at the right time, anyway!
Carrie S: Thanks again for the reviews, both here and on LJ!
Eggo Waffles: No, I wouldn't have Denethor beat Faramir! I feel tremendously sorry for Denethor (book version, anyway) and I believe he really did love Faramir in spite of everything. That's what makes it all so tragic, that he remembered it too late. Anyway, I see him as the type who would use devastatingly cutting words rather than fists when he wanted to hurt someone. Thank you very much for the review!!