Monica felt a deep resentment of Emily that had nothing to do with her concealment of her children. Monica usually avoided thinking about her own infertility. She loved her babies and she suppressed her wish that she had been the one to carry them. She was so lucky to have them it seemed wrong to complain about how she had got them. She didn't resent Rachel for falling pregnant from a one night stand. She didn't resent Phoebe for having carried surrogate triplets and she was sure that when Phoebe announced a pregnancy with Mike, she would not resent that either. She didn't resent other pregnant women she saw in the street in the restaurant, although occasionally, for example when she saw them drinking wine she felt like lecturing them. "Think how lucky you are, don't do anythiing to spoil it." It wasn't anyone else's fault she couldn't bear a child and being jealous of others would not help.

But Emily was different. Somehow, for some reason she couldn't fathom, Emily had conceived twins. God, Nature, the Universe, had decided that Emily would be blessed with fertility, the easy fertility that meant that Emily didn't have to even think about how to get pregnant, she just did. It had been decided that Monica would not be blessed with knowing what it felt to have life inside her. Two lives. Why should Emily be given not one, but two children, just like that? And her brother's children? Emily, who wasn't going to stay married to her brother, Emily who wouldn't trust him, Emily who couldn't have really loved him as he deserved? Yet she had somehow taken two children from him. Monica knew that was illogical - if there was no Emily then there would no little girls - but that was how she felt. Emily had had this gift to which she had no right.

Emily probably hadn't even wanted them to begin with. How could she? With a broken marriage, how could Emily want to be a single mother? She can't have been able to count on someone else to help her out? Ross would have done the right thing, but with the marriage over, she would still have been single. It was not the same. Of course Rachel had taken on single motherhood but that, Monica felt, was different. Rachel cared more for Ross at that point in her life than Emily must have when she discovered she was pregnant, and Rachel was Rachel anyway. Maybe Emily had even considered abortion. Monica shuddered. She obviously hadn't chosen that, if it was ever a choice, but the thought may have cross her mind. Emily had ended up with two little girls, when Monica, with the love of her life, had had to adopt and to forget about ever bearing one of her own.

Even worse, Emily was now, according to Phoebe, expecting her fourth child. Fourth! Why should Emily be able to have all those children and Monica none? And how could she keep them to herself?

Monica and Phoebe had decided that it was her job to tell Ross. She'd have to tell him as soon as possible, before Emily took the children away again and he lost his chance. She went to Ross's apartment where she found Ross and Rachel together.

'Hey Monica!' Rachel said.

'Hey Rachel,' Monica said, hugging her but wishing she could find some way to get rid of her.

'Hi Monica,' Ross said as Monica sat down, 'You haven't been round for weeks.' She felt a little guilty about this, even though she had a good excuse, and said,

'It hasn't been weeks, only ten days.'

'Ten days is more than one week so it is "weeks" ' Ross said. Monica threw a cushion at him and Rachel rolled her eyes.

'Well you could come more often to me,' Monica said. 'You know it's hard for me.'

'Well you did have to go and have twins,' Ross said with a laugh that tore at Monica. 'Double trouble.'

'What if I had had twins?' Rachel wondered, awed. 'That would have been really amazing.' Monica wondered whether Emily had thought it was amazing.

'You'd have twice as much shopping to do,' Ross said.

'Shopping!' Rachel said, 'That reminds me. I've got to get some more shoes for Emma. I don't know why they don't last long, I just can't see what she does with them that wears them out.'

'We'd have to get twice as many shoes if we had twins,' Ross said.

'Some shoes for yourself maybe?' Monica joked. Then to her great relief, Rachel said,

'Hm, maybe,' Rachel laughed, 'I will come by your house though, maybe tomorrow night?' Rachel glanced at Ross.

'We'll both come,' Ross said.

'Good,' Monica said. They said their goodbyes to Rachel and Monica turned to Ross.

'I've got something to tell you,' she said.

'What is it?' Then he noticed her face. 'Monica, what's wrong? Has something happened?'

'Ross, I've seen Emily.' She would have to be careful to rein in her feelings.

'Emily? Here in New York? You spoke to her?' Ross asked curiously. He had no idea what was coming next and Monica couldn't stop herself,

'Ross, she's got children.'

'Yes,' Ross said uncertainly.

'Your children.'

'Children?' Ross exclaimed.

'Two little girls, twins, about five years old with black hair, who look just like I did when I was that age. There's no mistake, they're the right age - they're yours.'

'No,' Ross said, 'No, no, no. That must be a mistake.'

'It's no mistake, I saw them, with her. They called her "mommy." And I can tell how old they are because they're about the same size as my next door neighbour's child. She's five and a half.'

'It must be a mistake,' Ross said, sounding dazed, irritating Monica.

'I can't believe it. I can understand that you've been involved in one unplanned pregnancy, but two? Rachel and Emily. Didn't you use any contraception with her? Wasn't she using the pill?' Ross shook his head.

'No, it made her sick so she didn't take the pill. We used other methods.'

'All the time or just sometimes?' Monica interrogated.

'Monica-'

'I guess you just forgot once in a while!' Monica raged. He forgot and he let Emily get pregnant with twins. Twins! It wasn't his fault they were twins but she almost felt that it was. 'How could you be so irresponsible?' Ross was fed up with being told off and snapped back,

'Hey, we were engaged, okay? If anything had happened it wouldn't have been a big deal. So what if we forgot once or twice -' or maybe several times, he really couldn't remember. He knew they had stopped being so careful once they were engaged because it hadn't seemed to matter so much. 'I mean if everything had worked out no-one would have been saying it was a problem. They would have said it was a bit soon - we would have said it was a bit soon but it wouldn't have been the end of the world if there was an accident.'

'Well you've had your accident, how does it feel?' Monica said.

'It's not the end of the world. Two little girls are not the end of the world,' Ross said. 'Don't ever say that.'

'No, I won't say that,' Monica said. She was wrong.

'But how could she hide them from me?' Ross asked. Monica knew the answer to that one.

'Because she's an evil bitch.' Ross shook his head.

'That's not a reason. She must have known she was pregnant when we split up - well maybe she didn't, but she must have known when she told me she was getting married again.' Ross stared at Monica. 'She got married to another man while she was pregnant with my children. Oh my God, do you think he knows?'

'He'd have to know,' Monica said, 'He's blond. And Emily told me that "he's done everything for her" so she must have meant this, marrying her when she was pregnant with someone else's children. Agreeing to bring them up with her.' Ross shook his head, trying to absorb all this.

'She went into that engagement on purpose. To replace me. And all she said was that she was getting married not that she was pregnant. She must have known but she chose not to tell me.' Ross suddenly thought of something. 'The phone call.'

'What call?'

'The one after I was nearly killed, the one you heard. Did she say anything about it?'

'No.'

'Are you sure?' Ross persisted, 'You didn't like her much then.'

'I'm really sure. I wouldn't have hidden a thing like that from you,' Monica exclaimed. She would have gotten over her feeling about Emily for the sake of the child - children, if she'd have had to. 'If she'd said she was pregnant that would have changed everything. But she didn't.' Monica frowned, trying to remember. 'All she did was ask you to call, if you were thinking about her. She said nothing.'

'Oh my God,' Ross moaned. 'I should have called her.'

'Ross, you don't know what she would have said. Maybe she wouldn't have said anything.'

'She probably would have, what would we have had to talk about apart from that?' Ross said.

'She seemed to be having second thoughts,' Monica said. 'It was probably only after I didn't call her that she decided she'd never tell me.' Ross put his head in his hands. This was all so hard. He suddenly had four children. Two little girls, and not baby girls, children who had already been introduced to the world, were maybe already at school. They had abilities, likes, dislikes that he had no idea of...

'What are you going to do Ross?' Monica asked quietly.

'I don't know. I'll have to talk to her I guess. If I can find her before she leaves.'

'You will,' Monica said.

'I don't know what I'm going to say,' Ross said. 'What can I say? What's she going to say? Will she even see me?'

'We'll make her,' Monica said, not knowing how. They sat in silence for a while and then she said tentatively. 'Then we'll have to tell everyone else.' Their parents. 'Rachel.' Ross looked at Monica.

'I know, but not yet. Let me speak to Emily first and find out what's going on.'