Part 11 Is That All?

Ross sagged into his chair.

Taken them home?' Emily nodded and he knew it was no bluff on her part. Well I'll go over to England, to see them,' he said. Every problem had a solution and there was no need to get despondent. It was a minor setback, nothing more. I can do that. There are air tickets, it can be organised, it's not hard.' Emily used to fly all over the place, what made her think that he couldn't?

It's not as easy as that,' Emily said.

What do you mean? You have no right to stop me. I can make you let me see them,' Ross said, I know what kind of person you are, you think you can control everything, the way you tried to control who I could and couldn't see. Well guess what, it didn't work then and it's not going to work now. I'll get lawyers and they'll force you to let me see them.'

If you do I'll fight you every step of the way, and I'll win. These are English children who have two parents, a brother and someone else on the way,' Emily said, What are you? A foreigner —'

Excuse me!'

In England, where all this will happen, you will be a foreigner, with two other children by two different women, one of whom doesn't live with you,' she said scathingly, You don't think you'd ever get custody do you?'

I'm still their father, I may not get full custody — I wouldn't even look for full custody — but I've got rights,' Ross objected.

Prove it,' Emily said. And even if you do, they'll never put two little girls on a plane to go to a foreign country to some stranger. You don't know anything about them,' Emily said, What's Emma's favourite colour?'

It's — ' he stopped realising which Emma she meant.

Yes,' Emily said, Your Emma probably likes Sunflower yellow.' Ross opened his mouth in shock. How did she know that? Oh she's about two isn't she Ross? It's either going to be that or red. Then it will be pink or purple. How does Jane deal with monsters under the bed?'

I don't know Emily but — ' he was about to say angrily that none of this is fair when Emily cut in. Under other circumstances he would not let her get away with any of this, but he could not resist listening to a fact about a daughter he didn't know but so wished otherwise. Emily said,

She used to have nightmares about them, but now she's got a miniature cricket bat by her bed so she knows she can hit them on the head. She thought that up all by herself. She's actually disappointed because the monsters don't seem to be there any more. Pity, I could have done with a full sized cricket bat at some stages of my life, it might have helped me — ' he was staring at her in bafflement and she sighed, You don't even know what cricket is do you?'

How the hell should I know that!' Ross exclaimed. How should I know about dumb British games? What the hell's that got to do with anything?'

It's part Emma and Jane's background. It's part of knowing them. You don't know anything Ross, you're a stranger in more ways than one,' Emily said.

You were the one who made me a stranger!' Ross shouted. and n - now you're taking advantage of it. You — you're just sitting there, taking advantage.' He couldn't stay seated any longer and paced the room again. There Emily was, sitting there, calm as anything. She'd won You chose to keep me out of their lives,' he said.

And I stand by my choice,' she said coldly. I see no advantage for them to have you in their lives.' This was terrible. Suddenly he was feeling like crying.

Do they even know I exist?' he asked. She nodded, surprising him. Why did you tell them?' he asked bitterly. Since you hate me so much?'

They look so different to David, there would be bound to be questions when they went to school. So they know their biological father lives in another country. They didn't know it was in this country, although to be honest with you, they didn't ask,' Emily said. They were only five — they took everything for granted. It would never occur to them that they might ever need or want him. Emily had every advantage and he had none.

He tried another approach.

Can't we just settle this between us? Can't we be friends?' Once upon a time they had liked each other, couldn't they achieve something like that again?

Oh no,' Emily mocked, We can't be friends. My friends are nice to me. But that's not the reason we can't just settle it between us.'

Well what is the reason?'

If it was just me and just you it would be different,' Emily said, but I've got David to think about. He's their father.' Ross was about to interrupt but she carried on, I can't agree to anything without discussing it with him first.' She looked at Ross, I mean you'll have to discuss it with Rachel too. We can't just make arrangements without consulting other people.'

She'll agree with me,' Ross said, aware of not having asked her, let alone told her anything. But he was sure she'd be okay with whatever he came up with. She just had to be.

Well that's nice,' Emily said, But I can't make you any promises about David.' There was something so disheartening about the way she said it. When he met me, David thought he couldn't have children because of some story about mumps or something like that. The only way he thought he could have children was to bring up someone else's. They are, as far as he's concerned, his firstborn children.'

But he's got a child of his own hasn't he?'

James is our third child,' Emily said. Oh he's special too. We consider him to be our little miracle, even though I suppose he isn't exactly a miracle from a medical point of view. I mean, because the doctors got it wrong about David, so there was no reason why he couldn't have children, but we still think of James as a miracle, all the same.' Emily smiled a sudden private smile and Ross noticed that her hand was resting on her belly. The one to come. They're all special, equally special to both of us.'

You're going to talk to him about my daughters,' Ross confirmed.

We'll talk, but I can't promise you anything,' Emily said.

Is that all you can give me?' Ross asked.

I'm not like you. I can't make you a promise I can't be sure I can keep,' Emily said, and lifted up a book that was lying on the coffee table. Opening it, she took out a photo which had been tucked between the pages. Handing it to him she said,

That's yours. Emma's wearing purple, Jane's wearing blue.' Ross stared at the picture of two little girls laughing into the camera. They were very alike but he realised they were not identical. Emma, Jane he said to himself, studying their faces. Jane's hair curled a little more, Emma's skin seemed slightly paler. Emily said as he looked at the photograph,

They're always like that, they're very happy little girls, the best of friends. We can take long trips in the car and they'll talk to each other all the way. If they ever fight, it's not for long.' Ross suddenly felt overwhelmingly sad and Emily continued with a smile that was a startling reminder of how she'd been when they had been in love, They like digging. They've only found broken crockery and marbles so far but that doesn't stop them. One day they'll find an animal's skeleton and then we'll really be in trouble. Maybe you will be in trouble too one day, in fifteen or twenty years when they wind up on your doorstep, asking to go on a dig.'

And that seemed to be all he was going to get.