Even though she was relieved he had been found at last, Hermione found Severus's appearance shocking. He looked terribly unkempt, his hair was matted and filthy, he had a fairly good beard growth and his robes were covered in mud and what looked like congealed blood. Hermione couldn't yet tell if the blood was his own or someone else's. What had happened to him? Why was he in such a state? Suddenly Hermione's view was blocked, as Madame Pomfrey drew a curtain around his bed.
Hermione got back into her own bed, feeling elated, despite everything that had happened. She didn't care what state he was in, at least he was back, because right now she needed him more than ever.
She lay there listening, giggling quietly every now and then at Severus's protestations about being treated like one of the students. Madam Pomfrey curtly informed him, that if he carried on acting like a baby she was going to treat him like one, which didn't go down at all well. They carried on arguing like this for a while until gradually his voice became weaker and then, there was complete silence.
Even after a good long while, Hermione was still wide awake, her tummy churning with nerves. Her head felt woozy and her memory fuzzy, then she remembered the red potion Madame Pomfrey had asked her to drink, but what had it been for? As she lay there confused, her head started to clear and her memory came back.
Draco had attacked her, she knew that much, then she remembered hands, touching her all over and grabbing her painfully. Her head tried to work the logic; she knew that it only happened a few hours ago, but it felt like it was now part of her past and the immediate trauma had faded. Instead of a screaming pain, it was more of a dull ache.
She then remembered the revenge she had taken on Draco, but it didn't make her feel better. The revenge had only gone to show that if she wanted, she could be as cruel as him and that was wrong. Revenge always seems like a good idea at the time, but in the end it doesn't undo the crime or make the hurt go away, she thought to herself sadly.
After hearing no sound for a good long while she threw back her covers and swung her legs out of bed. She tiptoed over to the bed where Severus lay and pulled aside the curtains.
He was fast asleep, lying on his back, propped up a little on big squashy pillows. He was now completely clean, his hair washed and brushed and his beard gone, leaving his face smooth again. He looked pale though, even more so than usual and he'd lost weight, which was bad as he hadn't been that big to start with.
Then Hermione tried to guess what had happened to him by his injuries, first of all she looked at the hand that was nearest to her, picking it up gently. His wrist had what looked like rope burns, his knuckles were scratched up, his nails were all chipped off and there were grazes on the tips of his fingers. His other arm was bandaged and so was his body around the rib cage. Everything else seemed to be okay, apart from some more scratches on his face, which had probably been part healed by Madame Pomfrey.
Hermione surmised that maybe he had been beaten-up or attacked by some kind of animal, but the state of his hand led to him grabbing at something rough, like a stone wall.
A surge of sympathy washed over her as she looked at him. She realised how brave this man really was, the danger he put himself in to help the Order. She picked up his injured hand, holding it gently in hers and stroked the wounds. She left her head bent over towards him and cried quietly to herself, thinking of the terrible ordeal he must have been through. Then she reached up and stroked his face, brushing back a stray strand of hair.
Suddenly he became restless and started thrashing around, Hermione stepped back fearfully.
"No! No! I am telling you nothing! No! Arrgh!" he shouted into the air, his eyes still closed
A door banged open on the other side of the room and Hermione decided it was time to return to her own bed. She had just climbed under the covers, when she heard Madame Pomfrey padding across the floor, muttering to herself. By now he had stopped shouting, but was still thrashing around. Hermione heard the swishing noise of a wand being used, then everything went quiet again.
"There that's better, I think a dreamless sleep would be better for you at the moment" Madame Pomfrey said softly.
It was a while before she left again, back to her room.
Hermione turned on her side fretting about her injured lover, tears running down her face, wondering what had happened to him. She eventually fell asleep.
She had a dream; her and Severus were holding hands in a forest, looking into each others eyes, then they moved forward to kiss, but a loud noise behind them made them stop. Suddenly people that she vaguely knew were surrounding them, pointing, laughing and jeering. She looked desperately around for a friendly face, but there was none, even Ginny, Harry and Ron especially, who suddenly appeared in the crowds too, were shaking their heads derisively. Then she felt hands pulling at her, separating her from Severus and she was on the beach of the lake again, with Draco leering down at her. She again felt the pressure on her wrists as they were held tightly, but before anything could happen, her attackers disappeared and she got up and ran. She found herself running through the forest, it was thick with thorn bushes and tangled tree roots and was nigh on impossible to get through. Then she spotted Severus standing with his back to her in the distance. She ran to him, but caught herself just in time when she realised that he was standing right next to a sheer drop, so deep she couldn't see the bottom.
He looked at her, with a mixture of sorrow and fear, then looked down again. The crowd reappeared then, shouting loudly and still berating them. He reached out for her hand and she held his in hers tightly.
He looked down at the ravine below again, then at her,
"I want to, but I am afraid" he said, looking back towards the crowd
"Me too' Hermione found herself saying, not taking her eyes off him
"They'll hate us" he stated
Hermione smiled and said, "I don't care anymore!" Then she felt herself falling and tried to scream, but no sound would come out. She began to struggle, as fear of the unknown overtook her
"It's alright" she heard his voice say, "It's alright", but more softly this time like a woman's
"It's alright Hermione!"
Hermione's eyes shot open, bringing her out of her dream, she looked straight into the face of Madame Pomfrey.
"It was just a dream!" the medi-witch said gently, standing back and opening the curtains with a wave of her wand. The morning sun hit Hermione full in the face, blinding her momentarily.
"How are you this morning? How effective has the potion been?" Madame Pomfrey asked, looking at her expectantly
"I think it's worked, but I don't really know, because I can't remember how I felt before I took it" she replied truthfully
"Yes, that is to be expected, that it is how it works, taking out some bits of memory and leaving others. Like I said it mimic's how your memory is affected by the passing of time, so some of the finer details will be lost. Don't worry though, as mine and your pensieve's contain all the information we need." Madame Pomfrey reassured her, then she moved away, "well I'd better go and see to my other patient!" she finished briskly. "I've asked my assistant Ginny to come in and look after you."
Hermione looked over and saw that the bed Severus had been lying in was now empty, she guessed that he had probably been moved to his room, for more privacy.
Ginny came through the door, just as Madame Pomfrey was about to leave and after a few words together, she walked over. Ginny began smiling on seeing her friend.
"Oh Hermione I have so much to tell you!" she said excitedly, "but first,are you Okay?" with a look of concern now on her face
"Yes I'm fine" Hermione reassured her, but the dream still weighed heavily on her mind, what did it mean? Was it that she was afraid of what people would think of her and Severus's relationship if it came out? Yes, the precipice they were jumping into, did that mean the next stage of their relationship? Was it love or commitment maybe? No wonder they had both been so afraid"
"Draco's been taken away and his friends have been caught, they'd been hiding in the forest! Something in there got them so scared, they were blubbing like babies, when they came out! I think Hagrid found them in the end!" She said rolling her eyes, "well anyway, they're saying that it was all Draco's idea and that he told them he was only going to scare you and they didn't know that he had really planned to rape you." Ginny informed her
"What! They encouraged him! They were chanting, they wanted him to do it! And I have no doubt in my mind that they would have raped me too, when he had finished, I remember the looks on their faces!" Hermione said angrily, shuddering.
"Well for now they've only been charged with aiding and abetting, Draco's getting the full rap, on his own." Ginny continued
Hermione was shocked, with friends like those who needed enemies! Huh! They won't be so pleased with themselves once the ministry sees my pensieve and finds out what really happened! Then she thought about all those strangers looking at her memories, maybe men included. They were only memories, but the nature of the attack was such, that just the thought of it made her feel violated again. She worried, but knew she had to be strong and that they had to see the truth, or Draco, with his fathers ministry connections, might get away with his crime.
"Do you feel ready to get dressed now and come down for some breakfast? Dumbledore says you don't have to go to classes today if you don't want to." Ginny said kindly
"Yes...did you bring something with you?" Hermione replied
Ginny produced a small bag out of her pocket and magically grew it back to its normal size. It had everything in it that Hermione needed and they chatted as she got ready.
Once down in the Great Hall, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at her momentarily and then carried on talking, some of them in hushed tones. Hermione guessed they were talking about her, but she knew she would have to put up with this for a while, as this sort of thing just didn't happen at Hogwarts.
She sat down near Harry and Ron, who looked at her smiling awkwardly, as if they didn't really know what to say. A boy on the next table was staring and Ron scowled at him, making him turn around immediately. Ron scared most people, for as well as being an accomplished wizard he was also now, very large and formidable looking; basically no one messed with him. Draco had been very lucky indeed!
For the next week it was much the same, either people just stared or avoided her completely. It seemed that no one really knew what to say or how to be around her, the attack was such a difficult subject to deal with. She spent most of her time reading in her room, as she didn't feel ready to return to classes yet and didn't like going anywhere without her friends being with her. This left her in a dilemma, she desperately wanted to see Severus, but she was too frightened to go down to the dungeons by herself. He had not contacted her yet and she hadn't seen him like she normally would in potions class, but she knew from Dumbledore that he had now fully recovered and was teaching again, which made her feel somewhat better.
The last time she had been in Dumbledores office, he had asked her if she would allow her pensieve to go to the Ministry along with Madame Pomfrey's, so they could be viewed by Amelia Bones. He assured her that it would just be her and no one else, as it was felt that because it was an attempted rape it was much too sensitive for just anyone to look at. He also assured her that the pensieve's would be wiped clear of all memories after the trial was over.
Because of Hermione's evidence, Draco and his friends were sentenced to two years in an underage wizards detention centre. It was run by ex aurors and any magical activity by the prisoners was banned. It was an extremely tough regime and little or no luxuries were allowed, so Draco would probably feel like he was in hell, as he was used to being spoilt and having all the best things in life all the time.
She got used to some of Draco's Slytherin supporters sneering at her and giving her threatening looks; she learnt to ignore them. With Madame Pomfreys potions and help from a councilor from St Mungo's she began to gradually recover from her ordeal.
Exam time was looming so there was now less classes and more study periods, which Hermione made good use of. She was now more determined than ever to do well in her exams.
After one week off she decided she was ready to go back to classes and was fine until Thursday afternoon, when she was going to have to go to a potions class. She was very nervous, how was he going to react to her? She worried as she approached the classroom with Harry. She knew from him that Professor Snape seemed a little different, quieter perhaps, even more contemplative than usual and had not even made one sarcastic comment to him. Harry had at Hermiones begging bequest, had not said or done anything about his knowledge of their affair, but had probably given the Professor plenty of dirty looks instead!
She burned with curiosity about what had happened to Severus during his absence and had even asked Dumbledore about it, but he had told her, "If Severus wishes you to know he will tell you himself, no doubt. It is not my place to tell you I'm afraid"
She walked in the classroom and sat down, setting up her things. The classes now, for the seventh year potions students, were for practice for their exams, so the potions they were going to make, would be of their own choosing. Hermione had chosen to make a healing draft that would apparently speed up the recovery from internal injuries of any kind.
Suddenly the door opened behind her and the hairs on the back of her neck, stood up and her belly began it's familiar nervous clenching. It was Severus, he walked up to the front of the classroom without even glancing at her. Her heart began to beat faster as she watched him sweeping up the classroom and come to a stop at his desk.
"Begin! I will come and inspect what you are doing, to make sure you get it right!" Snape said brusqely.
Hermione could hardly bear the tension, he wouldn't even look at her, not even slyly, through-out the whole time she was in there. Her potion finished, she stashed it in her bag, as it would be used as part of a project she was doing for the potions exam. She had planned to linger a while, letting everyone else leave before her so she could speak to Severus alone, but she had half a mind to just go.
Then she saw him glance at her briefly, his expression impassive, but his eyes saying much more. This gave her encouragement, making her want to stay again and she indicated to Harry that it was alright for him to go. He did, albeit reluctantly, raising his eyebrows at her and shaking his head. He also gave the potions master a sullen look before leaving.
Once everyone had gone, she was now alone with her lover for the first time in six weeks. He had his back to her and was leaning on his desk.
"We need to talk, but not here, in my room" he said stiffly.
Hermione said nothing, but merely followed him out into the now empty corridor. After checking they couldn't be seen, they walked quickly over to his office, closing the door and locking it behind them.
As soon as she was in the room, Hermione couldn't help it she began to cry, the tension had been getting to her. Severus stood hovering by the door uncertainly for a while, then walked over to his desk and sat behind it.
"Sit down Hermione,' he said, conjuring a chair for her to sit on. "There is no easy way to say this but I think it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore. Dumbledore told me what happened to you and I feel partly to blame, as this would not have happened if you hadn't been seeing me. I feel quite sure that Lucius put Draco up to the attack, as it was definitely his style. I think he may have done it to get at me, well... it worked!" he said looking down at his hands, which he had clasped together in front of him on the desk.
"You mean, he told his son to rape me, just to get at you!" Hermione said incredulously, her mouth gaping
"It is something I would expect from Lucius, yes, that is the sort of person he is. I know many others like him too, being with me puts you in great danger" he answered, keeping his eyes lowered.
"So you don't want to see me anymore then? That's it, finished?" Hermione asked a hint of anger in her voice, looking at him sticking out her chin defiantly
"Do you know what I went through while you were away? You could have been anywhere! Or lying dead or dying for all I knew!" then Hermione's anger increased, on seeing his lack of reaction
"I did not ask you to worry or fret about me! You knew the work I did was dangerous! Do you expect me to let you know when I'm likely to be in mortal danger, so you can come and protect me? After my experience I could do without a teenage girl's, hormonal angst!" he said, suddenly standing up, his voice sounding angry now.
"Huh!" she said disgusted, "All I'm saying is that you show me a bit of consideration! Not just drop me like a stone with hardly an explanation!" Hermione shouted back, also standing up
"I have explained! This is it! Our game is at an end! There are more important things to consider now. You also have your exams coming up and your time at Hogwarts is nearly over. Why do wish to prolong that, which is already finished? Just accept it and move on, I'm quite sure you will forget all about me once you start your new life outside these walls." He retorted
Hermione stood there open mouthed, how could he say that! She thought her heart would break, how could he be so cold?
"Do you know what I've been through? Hell and back and there you go acting as if I meant nothing to you! You're a complete and utter...bastard!'Hermione screamed, stealing herself at such bad language, but it had seemed appropriate
"Do you not think I have suffered too! I was tortured and starved by men who could not have cared less if I lived or died! Then I come back to hear that you have been attacked, by one of my house students! You have no idea of what hell is Hermione, I have seen things, things that your naive mind could not have even begun to cope with!"
Hermione was incensed, she walked right over to the Proffesor and brought her hand back to slap his face, but he caught her hand swiftly. So instead, she kicked him hard in the shin.
"Well, that's a bit more suffering for you!" she spat
He looked in pain but he tried not to show it and just grunted a little, pouting at her
"Can't you see I am only trying to save you from more pain? I am only trying to do what's best for you!" he said through gritted teeth, trying not to show his pain in his voice. He limped over to one of his potion cabinets, picked a vial off one of the shelves and took a swig from it.
"I don't need a father, I've already got one thankyou! I don't need you to do 'what's best for me'! I need you to be there for me! I've fallen in love with you, you idiot!" she retorted, walking over to where he was
He looked at her taken aback, his forehead creasing in confusion.
Then he laughed, but only derisively, "You're living in a fantasy world. Love me? What, do you really think we have a future together?" but there was a tinge of sadness as he said these last words
"Why not? Don't you think you could handle me?" she asked, deliberately trying to goad him
"Handle you! You're hardly dangerous!" he scoffed
"So then this would be no trouble for you, she said standing back and throwing a spell at him which he quickly deflected with his own wand.
Hermione tried again and again, but he deflected each one easily and she pouted in frustration.
Severus shook his head, smirking, "Now you are acting like a spoilt child who has been told they cannot have the toy they want! Just because I'm not telling you what you want to hear!"
"Oh! A child now am I? That didn't stop you having sex with me though did it? She retorted, folding her arms
"Keep your voice down!" he warned, looking towards the door
"No, I won't! You know what? I think I'm going to tell the whole school everything, right now!" She said, beginning to walk away
Severus moved quickly, standing in front of the door, looking slightly worried. Then he narrowed his eyes suspiciously
"You wouldn't dare! You would be too scared of what people would think of you!"
Hermione smirked defiantly, "Just..watch..me!" she said determinedly. His eyes widened slightly, but his face was still set with a derisive look
"Now move out of my way!" She warned him, holding up her wand, directing it at him. Her anger and pain was sending her normally logical mind into confusion; she wanted to hurt him, to make him understand how she was feeling. She sent a beam of electricity through the slender stick, burning the top of his arm.
"You little ..!" he began, angrily, looking from his arm to her, then he rushed forward and grabbed her roughly.
"Get off me! I hate you!" she cried, tears stinging her eyes. She tried to break free of his grasp, but he held on tight. Then she began to panic, as the fear of being held down overtook her. Her breathing became so rapid and her heartbeat so fast, that she started to feel dizzy. She wanted to scream, but no sound would come out, this made her panic even more. Her throat felt like it was closing up and a cold sweat of terror broke out all over her as she tried in vain to breathe. Then everything went black.