…Tala's POV…
I sit here, just staring at you, waiting for you to say something, say anything, for you to move would be nice also. I watch your expressionless face, your eyes closed deep in thought; you sigh and I can't help but wonder what you're thinking about. You are so still, so silent, so untouchable. I'm still silent, leaving us sitting in silence; only the sound of the rain outside keeps this room from falling into a total deafening silence. I'm glad; I hate this situation, this waiting, 'Why?' you might ask, because now you've got me thinking, you've got me doubting.
"Maybe this was a bad idea…" Wait! Did I actually say that? I could kick myself but instead I get up, part of me says I've lingered long enough; maybe you were just thinking of how to say 'no' as gently as one could. However I doubt 'no' in this situation could ever sound gentle.
I walk slowly towards the door, which I had only recently come in, I glance down a corridor, you are leaving tomorrow but your stuff is laying around everywhere. I pause briefly, 'maybe…no' I keep walking, my mind not allowing me to hope that maybe you were thinking about staying. I open the door and a part of me hopes for you to follow; to stop me from leaving. However, you don't and I glance back at you, you've barely moved, still sitting there, arms folded across your chest like you were when you told me you were leaving. Stupid I am, so stupid for thinking you would want to stay with me.
I sigh and walk out the door bumping into someone on the way down the hall but I don't care who it is. Kai, you may have given me the freedom to do what I want; the ability to choose my own destiny. However, you made giving me my freedom worthless, as you wont allow me to have what I want, to keep what I want, since it's you I want and it's you who's leaving Russia in the morning; leaving me in the morning. I continue to walk down the hallway, heading for the stairs, I feel like shit but I know its my own fault for getting my hopes up that you would stay with me, celebrate my freedom with me.
Nothing. I had been right the first time. I am nothing. Nothing to you, nothing to them, those who had given me purpose, and probably nothing to my team after the way I treated them sometimes, though I cant blame them. Maybe they were right, maybe you really are a traitor, maybe you only told me you wanted to help me to get out of the Abbey alive and in one piece. I shake my head, I don't want to think like that, I don't want my mind to convince me that you would use me like that.
I leave the apartment building and walk onto the street to immediately be hit by the onslaught of rain; I didn't think it was raining this hard. I look around, barely able to two meters in front of me, that's when I realize I have no where to go. Where would I go, they shut down the Abbey, we, me, Bryan, Spencer, Ian, we are those with no family, we are those who have been left for dead, to fend for ourselves in this city. I look up and down the street, I don't even know where they are now, if they're alive, if they're even still in this city. I shouldn't have left them, at lest arranged somewhere to meet them, but it's to late now, I'm alone with no way to contact them; and Kai, it's your fault. Part of me curses myself for thinking like that but it feels good to be able to blame someone for something for once. That's why my mind's decided it's your fault I have nowhere to go and this is how it probably will always be.
I cry, I actually feel my eyes watering, warm tears streaming down my cheeks mixing with the cold rain that has once more soaked through my clothes. I walk a couple of paces before slumping against the wall of your apartment building, it's not Kai's fault' I try to tell myself. I slide down the wall to sit on the pavement, ignoring the weird looks the passer-bys give me; I don't care. I know its not your fault, but I don't want to be left alone, alone and wandering this city without purpose; at least until I die. Maybe that's a solution, death, it usually is… it usually is better than any other solution… it's quick, it's easy and it costs nothing.