telephone
thoughts
----lyrics-----
General POV
---dass du nicht mehr bist was du einmal warst
seit du dich für mich ausgezogen hast
(That you're not like you were before
since you dropped your clothes for me) -----
"Yoji!" The blonde sighed. He absolutely hated it when his fearless leader bellowed his name like this. "What's it again, Aya?" he asked. "Where have you been last night?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Why do you wanna know?" – "If you remember, you are my boyfriend!" The readhead stated. Yoji smiled. No, he had not. How could he? Aya never let him forget this fact. But, if he was honest, he had. Not only last night, but in some others, too. But now, he had a problem – speaking of which, his cell phone rang. "Hang on…" he said to Aya and left the room. "Yeah?" - Yoji?- "Who else? It's my number you've called." The Blonde smiled. Of course he recognized the voice. I… just wanted to know how you are.A lie. He wanted to check whether Aya had already cut his head off. "Fine. As usual. I'm with my boyfriend right now. Well, not right now, but he's next door." A break. We need to talk. Meet me at five, at the restaurant.Click. Yoji sighed again. He didn't really want to go there. But he owed him that much.
"So?" Aya only said when his lover entered the room again. "I've got to get some things straight today, then I will tell you everything my love…" Yoji explained. "Oh no, you won't!" The leader of Weiß stepped up to him, pulled the former PI into his arms and kissed him deeply. Yoji didn't really want this, but he knew he didn't stand a chance against the redhead. So he didn't object when Aya's hands roamed over his back, stripped his shirt off.
Some hours later Yoji got up. He had a slight nausea because of what he had done. Sure, he loved Aya… but somehow… he couldn't explain. Now, he was on his way to meet his problem.
He saw him from afar. He wasn't exactly hard to miss – a tall man, black hair, always in a suit. His black hair was always combed back – but Yoji knew it otherwise, when it was all tousled… "Hi." – "Hey…" The blonde Weiß felt a bit insecure. He didn't know how to react. He knew it had been dangerous to hop into bed with this man. It could have cost him his life. Or worse, it could have cost his teammates'/friends' lives… Yoji was a bit taken aback when Brad Crawford suddenly kissed him. It was totally different from Aya's earlier one – soft and tender, as if the Schwarz leader was afraid to break the Kritiker kitten. "We have to talk…" Brad said and led the younger one into the restaurant.
----dass du alles schmeißt wegen einer Nacht
und alles verlierst war so nicht gedacht
(That you'd throw everything away because of one night
and lose everything wasn't planned) ------
"What exactly do you mean by that?" Yoji asked carefully. He hadn't touched his meal, while Crawford had finished his about half an hour ago. But that was not it – the raven-haired man had just told him something he couldn't understand. "Well, I … don't want to live like before. You know, after this night, when we woke up, we said that this would be a one-time-only thing, but… I dream about you. About what it feels like to touch your body, the smell in your hair, the way your eyes get darker when I kiss you… to be inside you, to feel your body reacting to me, I… don't want to miss that anymore." Yoji blushed. Trust Crawford to say what he thinks. "But… you know I have a boyfriend…? Really, that was absolutely not my intention… I mean…"
----du willst mich für dich und du willst mich ganz
doch auf dem Niveau machts mir keinen Spaß
(You want me to be yours, and only yours
but I don't want to play that way) ------
"Yoji? I want you. Completely." Damn. Why does he have to tell me that? Why now? Yoji was puzzled. Totally. "But… I… I can't…" – "You could. Try it with me, I beg you!" In a different situation, the Blonde would have laughed – who could ever have imagined Brad Crawford to beg a member of Weiß? But now, he was nervous, which resulted in lighting a cigarette. "Brad… I told my boyfriend nothing of this. I will do that tonight. He has to know. But… I can't continue cheating on him!" – "That's what you think, kitten…" He smiled knowingly.
Yoji's POV
He was damn right. I really couldn't resist the invitation in his voice… like the last time, we went to his apartment. He didn't lose any time and put me out of my clothes just after he had closed the door. His kisses grew more demanding, and I gave him what he wanted. I lay myself on the bed and waited for him to drop his clothes, too. And I just couldn't deny that I liked what I saw. He is beautiful… I sighed when he covered my body with his. As in most things, he was so different from my redhead… he was more than gentle while he prepared me for him. And I couldn't fight my moans down, he knew I liked it! Then, finally, he was in me – and it felt so good!!! He moved, first slowly, then, encouraged by my reaction, faster. It took us an eternity to reach the peak, but it was wonderful. After we came down from our clouds, he wrapped me in his arms without leaving me. And I felt horrible. I had betrayed Aya. Again.
----dass füllt mich nicht aus ich fühl mich zu Haus
nur zwischen den Stühlen
(That's not enough for me, I only feel at home
when I'm in between)
General POV
"Why don't you wanna stay with me?" Brad asked, puzzled. He had thought, everything between them was clear now. "It's not you, it's just… me. I can't be with one person for long."
---ich will doch nur spielen
ich tu doch nichts
(I just wanna play
I don't mean any harm) ---
The Schwarz leader looked at the Kritiker kitten intensely. "But… I can't live without you. I don't want to!!" – "Then I'm sorry for that. But I can and I will. See you, then." Yoji collected his clothes and left the apartment. Brad was alone with his thoughts and with a bed room smelling of their previous activities. Slowly, a crystal clear tear found its way down his cheek…
---dass du wegen mir irgendwen verlässt
dass du manchmal weinst weil es dich verletzt
(That you're leaving someone because of me
that you're crying sometimes because it hurts) ---
Aya's POV
He still wasn't home. I know he wanted to talk something over, but... it made me mad not to know where he was. When we had started our relationship, I had hoped he would be mine alone. But by now I knew better. With Kudou Yoji, you never were the only one. But I'm the only one he trusts… And that I knew. He had told me things I wouldn't dare to tell anybody!! But he told me. And that was how I knew he loved me.
I heard the door open. It was my lover – but… what did he look like? "Aya? I … have to tell you something…" I can't answer. My voice is blocked completely. So I only look at him, tell him to speak up with my eyes. "I… I… cheated on you. More than once." He looked so lost. His smaragd eyes can't even meet mine.
----das es immer mal jemand andern gibt
der sich hier und da in mein leben schiebt
(That there's here and then someone new
coming here and there into my life)----
"Do I know him… her…whoever?" I ask. "Yeah. But ... I won't meet him again. At least not in this fashion. I swear." He still looks on the floor. And he reminds me so much of a lost kitten in the rain – I close the distance between us, take him in my arms. "Yoji… I love you, and you know that. I know I can't be the only one in your life, at least not yet. Perhaps one day you understand that you don't have to jump the beds to get reassurance. But until then… I'll wait." I smile. A seldom thing. I don't think any Weiß – except my lover – has ever seen my smile.
General POV
Yoji felt uneasy. It had been two weeks since his confession to Aya. This was their first mission after. And he had a bad feeling about it. Aya had told him to watch the roof. And here he stood, smoking and watching. And hoping his friends would make it out of there alive. Hoping, Aya would embrace and kiss him later. Suddenly, he was aware of another person. He turned – and looked into Crawford's eyes. "You…" he just managed to say. "Yes, me… so you still are with him?" Yoji nodded. "Why? I love you!!"
----dass du dich verliebst weil du´s mit mir tust
dass es dich so trifft hab ich nicht gewusst
(That you'd be falling in love because of sleeping with me
That it hurts you like that I didn't know)---
"I… didn't ask you to!" Yoji stated and lighted another cigarette. At least he wanted to. But as the wind tricked him, he didn't pay attention to the redheaded German sneaking up behind him. Just as it grew black around him he noticed him.
Aya's POV
---es war nie geplant dass du dich jetzt fühlst
wie einer von vielen
(It was never planned that you feel
as if you were one of many now)
My phone rang. I jumped up – I have become very jumpy since Yoji disappeared. I always hope it's him. And this time, it is!! "Yoji? Where are you? We are so worried!!" - No need to, Aya… I'm fine. But I don't think I will return… I finally found someone I wanna stay with… I'm sorry.I drop the phone. How can he say that?
----ich will doch nur spielen
ich tu doch nichts
(I just wanna play
I don't mean any harm)---
Crawford's POV
---dass du nicht mehr schläfst weil es dich erregt
wenn ich mich beweg wie ich mich beweg
(That you don't sleep because it makes you hot
when I move, the way I move)
dass du fast verbrennst unter meiner Hand
wenn ich dich berühr hab ich nicht geahnt
(That you almost burn under my hand
when I touch you I didn't guess) ---
I lie in bed. But I can't find any sleep. Not with him lying next to me. Schuldig has messed with his mind – and I'm grateful he did. For now, my little kitten thinks he loves me. I don't care it isn't true. As long as he is here with me, by my side, and not with this redheaded Abyssinian bastard. I love his body, more than is good for me. I mean, it can't be good if you get hard just because he moves little bit, can it? I could spend weeks, no years in bed with him!!
Yoji's POV
---ich steh nur so rum tu so dies und das
fahr mir durch das Haar und schon willste was
(I'm just standing around doing this and that
run my fingers through my hair and you want me)---
I can't do this. I have to leave. I've been with Brad for four weeks now. And I hate myself for it. Not because I let myself be manipulated by that damned German telepath but because I actually like it! But now it's enough. I deeply miss Aya… but I don't think I can go back to him. Not after what I told him on the phone. Sure, I only did that because of Schuldig, but… now, I only will hurt him more. And I don't want to see tears in those amethysts he calls eyes.
---lass mal lieber sein hab zu viel Respekt
vor deinen Gefühlen
(just leave it, I respect
your feelings too much)---
I packed my stuff. Today, I will go. I have to!
General POV
Weiß was on mission tonight. Again, without Balinese. But their leader was still worried. He didn't believe Yoji. No way. He tried to focus on their mission. It was in some night club. Here they would hit their target. Or at least try to. They had confirmed information that Schwarz might also show up, which complicated the thing a bit. Abyssinian?- "Yeah?" - Schwarz is here. I just saw Mastermind and Oracle.Omi said via the headphones. "Kuso! I'll take care of it!" Aya went into the direction Omi told him and ran into someone, just as his two enemies came into view. "Sorry…Yoji?" He stopped. He really had found his lover? The blonde looked at him, partly shocked, partly lovingly. "Aya…" he just mouthed.
In this second the Schwarz leader had seen the pair. "No you won't, kitten…" he grumbled and lifted his pistol.
The two young assassins ducked automatically when they heard the shot – but Yoji was a bit too slow, because he wanted to push his lover down on the floor first of all. When Aya realized that the blonde was hurt, he cradled him in his lap and called his colleagues via headset. "Bombay, Siberian! Balinese is hurt! Get someone, quickly! Cancel the mission!" Hai!was the only response he got.
---ich will doch nur spielen
ich tu doch nichts
(I just wanna play
I don't mean any harm)---
"Don't you dare die on me, Kudou!" – "If you think you can threaten me, Fujimiya, you picked the wrong boyfriend. Try it on Omi some time…" Yoji tried to smile. His stomach was shot and he almost couldn't stand the pain. "Why do you do that to me, hm?" Aya asked tenderly whilst caressing the blonde locks. "I just wanna play, as usual…" – "My playful little kitten…" Aya kissed him lovingly. >I just hope those medics come quickly… I finally have realized what I have in Aya… but I fear it is too late…
OWARI
I don't believe it! My first fanfiction on this page ;) (I got more of them... gg) well, if you read this, tell me if you like it, ok? And tell me how my english is... duck