Ok, then here's the second chapter this time from Ron's point of view. I have an idea for the following chapters after this, where they will most definitely admit how they truly feel (as that's what your really reading this for, right?) Please read and review, I greatly welcome other peoples opinions, many thanx:
That's it I can't do this, I stare at my Potions homework which is all I seem to have been doing for the last quarter of an hour. I just don't understand it, and besides my mind just isn't on it, all I can think about is 'her.' As I turn around I see her sitting in the seat closest to the window, she seems to be staring into thin air. I wonder to myself what it is she must be thinking about, she just seems so lost these days, and every time we communicate its just argument after argument, we never just talk! God, how I wish I could just talk to her sometimes, there's so many things I want to say and yet I know I just can't. I hate that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I know I've upset her, although she does her best to hide it, I know I've hurt her. She always has to defend herself from me, what kind of best mate am I? It's not like she can turn to me if she's upset or anything because most of the time it's me that's bloody made her feel that way!
I see her head start to turn my way and I quickly look back at my work, I can feel my heart beating so fast, if I didn't know better I would think it was going to pop out of my chest. She must never catch me watching her again, I've been caught out before and it was such an embarrassing moment. For any normal person it wouldn't be a weird thing to do, they would probably just smile at her and carry on, but not me, I feel that redness taking over my cheeks and that's it I look like a first class Pratt! Am I such a fool for feeling the way I do about her? All I know is that's its not right, I can't be in… well I cant be in love can I?
I don't think I will ever understand my relationship with Hermione, well it's hardly a relationship is it? As much as I would love to just get up from this seat, go over to her right now and blurt out 'I love you Hermione Granger' that's never going to happen. She must never know how I feel, I anger her enough just with our petty arguments and that results in not speaking to one another for days, so what would telling her that do to our friendship? Would she laugh at me? Perhaps she would think I was just trying a new way to wind her up and think it was a joke? Or perhaps she would be so unbelievably offended and she wouldn't talk to me for months, or perhaps never talk to me again? I can't risk driving that kind of wedge between us. Just having her around as a friend will have to be good enough for me. I've dealt with this for long enough, so a couple years more won't hurt that much will it?
Every night I find my thoughts wandering to her, I know I shouldn't feel this way, but my mind dwells on her for sometimes hours before it switches off. I think about many things, what it would be like to hold her, to touch her. I am so near and yet so far from that being reality. I feel so close to her sometimes only to then realise that it will never be anything more than what we already have. I'm one of her best friends and your not supposed to jeopardise your friendship. I'm kidding myself anyway, just look at me, I'm no good for a girl like her. She needs someone who matches her intellectual level, someone she could have interesting and knowledgeable conversations with. Me? I don't know anything. All I know anything about is Quidditch, The Chudley Canons and the fact I love her… Damn it why do I have to keep saying that word! She is never going to want to talk about any of those things though is she?
'Oh stop beating yourself up mate' my head seems to scream out, maybe I am being hard on myself, I would have something I could offer her. I would love her so much and I would never let anyone hurt her again, including myself. I'd protect her from all the bad things that 'our' world seems to be blessed with. There is no one that could care about her the way I do. I think back to when all these feelings first started, and to be honest I can never really pin point it exactly, I just remember finding myself wanting to be around her and wanting to wind her up, in a good way of course. I remember the first time I admitted to myself that I thought she was beautiful, I also remember blushing uncontrollably. How childish I was back then, to think that it was wrong to find a girl attractive instead of thinking they were horrible. For many years I had just thought they were annoying, giggly and just well… girly! Then it all changed I found myself falling for her, my best friend none the less and now here I am, a long time later and those feelings have deepened.
I look behind me again only to find that she's gone back to staring out of the window, lost in thought once more. I can't help it you see, I just HAVE to look at her, something inside my head just pulls me to her. I look at her perfect features, the way her hair, still with its trademark bushiness falls so delicately onto her shoulders, I have never seen anything so utterly beautiful in my entire life. I feel that familiar pounding in my chest again, I've got used to that feeling though. Just as I have got used to the feeling I get in my stomach when I see her for the first time during the day or when we've had different lessons and I see her for the first time in hours.
My thoughts are interrupted by Harry who is talking to me about next Saturdays Quidditch game against Slytherin, probably the biggest match of the year and I just don't care. What's wrong with me? I love Quidditch and I love to play it, so what am I doing? 'Your minds elsewhere mate, why don't you just tell her!' my head comments once more. I need to stop thinking about this, its no good I can't carry on like this anymore, I'm driving myself insane. I mumble something to Harry to give him the false impression that I'm actually listening. I've become good at that too. Pretending to pay attention when I really just can't. My mind drifts all the time, Hermione has a go at me for my lack of attention in class, but I just can't seem to help myself sometimes. I'm such a hopeless fool.