Chapter Five - Honesty Eases Hearts In Turmoil

Mirouku's right hand clenched into a fist and he whimpered over the extreme soreness in his limbs before realizing his skin was being tickled and warmed. The monk sat up sharply, ignoring the rush of pain, only to find himself wrapped into the lengthy fur he'd been oh-so-curious about. With a weak smile, Mirouku fingered it.

Sesshoumaru twitched as though he felt it, developing a scowl as he watched the other continue the small almost intimate caresses. "I take it you're better," he muttered.

The monk gasped, forgetting the youkai was almost inseparable with the fur, and turned with it wrapping around him more. His surprise gave way to reveal worry and concern and he lowered his head. "You're smart," he started. "If Naraku isn't killed, how long do I have to live? I think until thirty, at the most." Mirouku leaned closer, pushing the fur down around his waist. "Will anyone grieve my death? Sesshoumaru."

"Don't use my name so comfortably," the Western lord scoffed, unwrapping and pushing the human away; the way it was spoken from the monk's lips earlier still occupied his mind and hearing it with such a forlorn tone wasn't helping.

Mirouku sighed and detangled himself from the sheets, standing. He spotted his clothes and moved towards them with an unsteady gait, taking them in his arms; it didn't surprise him that the youkai was still fully dressed—save for the armor.

Sesshoumaru watched as the monk stumbled towards the door of his room, stark naked. Mirouku hesitated before pushing open the heavy door, then slipped out, the floor becoming colder under his bare feet and his thoughts screaming at him. 'I refuse... refuse to fall.. It's not even worth thinking about!'

Stopping in the middle of a windowless hall, the human slowly realized he'd gotten himself lost. "Really... I'm a simple-minded... baka!"

"Mirouku-sama?"

Blue eyes turned into dark dots as he rotated his body to stare at the sleepy young girl standing in an open doorway. "Did you take a bath? Rin's tired. You can sleep here." Her crossed thoughts made him smile and he allowed her to take his hand and pull him back into her room after she'd shuffled out to get him.

"I feel so much better!" the man sighed loudly as he stretched under the late morning sky. Mirouku had lost count of how long he'd been staying with Sesshoumaru and Rin, but he could admit to himself that the experience had been enlightening. He slipped off his clothing and stepped into the cool river water.

There was a faint recollection of him having groped something and not getting slapped in return, but he couldn't place an angry face onto the body. Mirouku sighed and sank under the water. 'Was it... No. I have limits—she's a child. Then... no way!' He choked on the water as he struggled to the surface, breaking it with a gasp. "Even after I told myself... I can't believe it... I groped that... that... Sesshoumaru!?"

"Hai. This Sesshoumaru."

Mirouku splashed about as he turned to face said youkai, his yell lodged in his throat.

"You're lucky you passed out. My brother might not have had a monk to travel with."

The monk's cheeks were tinged with pink as he lowered his head. The blush disappeared, replaced by a grimace as he reached for his right arm, the appendage reacting strangely. 'Why... why?!' He gasped from a sudden jolt and found himself slipping with the current's change.

Sesshoumaru caught the human and placed him on the bank carefully, as to not disturb the arm. He brushed back the damp black bangs, his hand lingering on the chilled cheek. 'This human...'

A dark blush covered Mirouku cheeks again as he watched the youkai lord through half-lidded eyes. A soft gasp involuntarily slipped through his lips. 'Sesshou...'

'What is this? This feeling...' Sesshoumaru watched the growing blush, knowing he was the cause of it.

Their moment was ruined by Rin bursting through the tall grass, laughing. "Rin lost Jaken-sama. Ah. Mirouku-sama's naked." Her face split into a wide grin. "Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Rin!" the youkai admonished, surprising himself at the raised tone towards the child.

"That's not what happened!" Mirouku yelled at the same time, sitting up quickly. He turned away from the giggling girl, face crimson red.

"Get dressed," Sesshoumaru ordered, rising to his feet. "I've never seen my castle this much before you came along."

"Ah, right..." Mirouku slipped dazedly back into the water to rid himself of the mud, then stepped back out. He watched the silver-haired demon walk off with the chattering girl and sighed. 'I don't... want to fall.'

Sesshoumaru glanced over his shoulder just before disappearing and the monk swore he was smiling. Mirouku held his head, laughing softly. "They'll both kill me." Inuyasha and Sango. He sighed again and resumed the task of getting dressed.

§§§

"I miss Kagome. And Sango. The feel of their bodies." He flexed his fingers with a loud sigh. "I miss Shippo and his childish ways. Hell... I even miss that idiot Inuyasha."

The soft tug on his robes made him stop and Mirouku noticed the tree inches from his face. He rolled his eyes at his own flighty behavior. "I'm such an idiot. Thanks, Ah-Un." He petted the creature in the junction of its neck. "I'm becoming absent-minded. Why? Because of that insensitive bastard."

Mirouku decided to rid himself of thoughts of actually loving Sesshoumaru, he'd hate him more than ever. "He ignores the servant worshiping the ground he walks on and the air he breathes—though that toad should be cooked, not just ignored. Sa! He might be too tough to digest."

Ah-Un's heads snorted softly, torn between keeping the newest human addition from creating self-inflicted bodily harm, and keeping a close watch on Rin, who was teaching herself a few things about herbs.

"...a little girl that thinks every fiber of his being is 'cool', which I find hard to believe," Mirouku was still saying. "Poor Rin. Hopefully she doesn't think of him as a father figure. That'll be terrible. Fathers are supposed to pamper their children with love and gifts. The only gift he can give her is a head on a platter, and something else resembling or reeking death. Maybe she'll turn out like me."

Mirouku smiled, stopping, and his blue eyes widened; he'd walked himself right to the edge of cliff with a steep and sudden drop into a deep ravine. "Where's Ah-Un when you need him?" he sighed, turning.

"Looking after Rin, as it should be doing."

In the two months he had possibly been with them, Mirouku had gotten used to certain things, but Sesshoumaru's sudden appearances weren't one as of yet. He snapped his fingers as a reply came to mind that would ignite the youkai's anger, making it easier to hate him. "So you're looking after me. Wonderful—to have someone of such caliber as my personal bodyguard."

Sesshoumaru smirked, turning so he gave the human his full attention.

"But... I'm not sure you'd make a good bodyguard... trying to kill me and everything..." Mirouku said, talking more to himself than the other.

"How true."

The blue eyes opened then widened as the monk was pushed over the cliff; his fall was almost in slow motion. 'This is where Sango on Kirara would rescue me, but...' He smiled, closing his eyes. 'No! I shouldn't give up! Plus, my death would make Rin extremely sad.' The monk yelped at the branches tearing and tugging at his robes then again at the sensation of being spun.

Mirouku sat on the forest floor, mumbling incoherently and swaying with spiral eyes. Sesshoumaru replaced the fur over his shoulder without sparing the human a glance and turned his head skyward as Ah-Un descended with Rin and Jaken.

"Mirouku-sama!" Rin jumped down and ran to the monk. "Look what Rin brought you."

The soft jangling of the rings brought Mirouku back to his senses and he laughed at the sight of his staff in the girl's arm. "Rin. I love you!" He pulled her into his arms, both laughing. "Did Sesshoumaru give it to you?"

"Hai! He said it was so you could be more useful."

"Did he now? Well, us humans are useless."

Rin just smiled widely despite the tension going on between the adults, bringing Mirouku's gaze back to her bright face. He chuckled and stood with an arm wrapped around her.

"We're heading further West," Sesshoumaru announced. "The smell of death is strongest there."

"And that's a good reason to go that way?" Mirouku scoffed. "You really do have no heart. Don't you remember what happened the last time we followed your nose?"

"Watch your mouth, lowly human!" Jaken snapped, waving the Staff of Heads menacingly.

"I wasn't talk to you!" The frog youkai squawked as he was knocked from Ah-Un by the monk's flying staff. "Sorry," he muttered, his tone devoid of any hints of apology. "It slipped." Mirouku smiled cheekily as he headed over to retrieve it. As he knelt, he felt the intense sensation of being stared at and raised his head to meet golden eyes tinged with humor. The monk's smile turned warm then he laughed as Rin climbed onto his shoulders.

'Someone so contrary... He masks his pain and sadness with smiles and laughter. Why...?' Sesshoumaru shook his head slightly and stared after the humans.

§§§

Mirouku made sure Rin was nice and toasty as she slept against Ah-Un's side. He petted the creature with a smile then stood, stretching before the fire. After lowering an arm, the youkai lord became visible across the flames. The movement of the fire across his pale features and everything white he wore made him seem more—ethereal was the only word Mirouku could come up with; the lack of thoughts didn't stop his feet from taking him around the fire to Sesshoumaru.

He stood on the youkai's right, turning his gaze towards the starlit midnight sky. "Sesshoumaru."

"What is it?"

"We all want to get Naraku for revenge, but..." 'This is the only way you can talk to him?!' his mind screamed.

Sesshoumaru turned his head and stared at the male's profile.

"But... what are you going to do when he's destroyed?" the human continued.

"Kill Inuyasha and reclaim my Father's second Fang. Even if I have no use for it, I feel better knowing that my brother doesn't have its power."

"Ah, sou, Mirouku laughed. 'He might have a brother complex..' "You have a one-track mind. What about Rin? Will you see her through her years to come?"

"You worry too much about trifling things that don't concern you in any way," the lord said softly.

Ignoring him, Mirouku continued, "I'll make you a deal." He faced the youkai with a smile. "You trade me back, whoever finds Naraku first kills him. I come back and take care... take care of Rin—What? Sesshoumaru...?"

The dark-haired young man tensed at the soft, almost care-filled touch to his cheek. 'It's just like earlier... At the lake...' he reminded himself.

"How interesting," Sesshoumaru murmured, sliding his hand to the back of Mirouku's head and guiding him forward. Blue eyes widened then fluttered shut and Mirouku inhaled sharply as the other's mouth covered his in a gentle fashion. 'No. This is what I wanted, but now... I don't want to create too great... an attachment...'

Despite the words he told himself, he wrapped his arms around Sesshoumaru's neck, trying to mold their bodies together as the kiss became hot; hungry.

Now it was the youkai's turn to develop a conscience. 'No!' he growled mentally. He tore his lips from the monk's, pushing the human away with almost dangerous strength. Mirouku stumbled and fell, staring up at the lord with wide, shimmering eyes. Scowling, Toukijin and Tensaiga's owner turned away, disappearing into the forest.

The human smiled sadly as he sat up, wiping a hand over his eyes. "Idiot..." he whimpered.

Rin lowered the hand from her mouth; she'd been biting it to stay quiet. 'Don't leave, Mirouku-sama.' She repeated the request constantly in her heart.

It was as if the gods were deriving pleasure in darkening their moods as well as the skies, because they were caught in a sudden downpour. Mirouku tightened the grip he had on his staff, locking Rin against his body, and pulled his cloak around himself and the girl to ward off the chill of the icy rain. The fact that they were traveling alongside a river that now threatened to flow over the land didn't seem to faze Sesshoumaru either.

'Doesn't he stop for bad weather?' Mirouku sneezed and just barely heard someone call his name over the pounding. Rin lowered her head as he acknowledged hearing her, damp bangs shadowing her eyes. "Rin?" Mirouku ducked his head to stare at her more closely.

Sesshoumaru spared a glance over his shoulder, slowing his stride. Ever since the monk had arrived, another thing that changed was Ah-Un spending more time on the ground than in the air; it was as if they all adjusted to accommodate his presence.

"Mirouku-sama... don't leave!"

Golden eyes widened along with the human's dark blue. "Rin..." the monk mumbled.

"Come back like you told Sesshoumaru-sama."

"You weren't asleep?" Mirouku gasped. Rin released the reins and turned to bury her face in the monk's robes, her small body shaking.

"Rin's... crying," Jaken stammered.

Mirouku raised his head to stare at both youkai. "She's never cried before?" he queried.

"Not once," the underling whispered.

"Rin." Mirouku shook her slightly. "Rin, I won't leave."

"Really?" the girl giggled. The monk blinked in surprise at the sound and wide smile on her face. "You... weren't crying..." he stuttered.

"Nope," the child giggled again.

Sesshoumaru turned away to hide his faint smile and picked up on a scent he'd always know, as well as voices.

"Rin, you had me so worried—Ah! That means you tricked me."

"Hmm!"

Mirouku began a tickle assault on the small form, their laughter filling the forest.

"Houshi-sama," Sango gasped, lowering Hiraikotsu; she had been using it to block most of the rain and almost dropped the boomerang but realized it helping in getting through the bushes to the monk's voice. "Houshi-sama!" she cried.

Before Mirouku could react to the taijiya's calling, an arm wrapped around him and the two-headed creature with Rin seated atop it became more distant as he crossed over the river, venturing nearer to the cluster of green surrounding a nearby cliff side. "What? Sesshoumaru!" he yelled.

The youkai stopped with his back to a tree and the monk against his side. "What the hell was that? They might've had information. And you left Rin by herself..." Mirouku scowled and shoved at the arm. "You're so irresponsible!"

Clawed fingers encircled his wrist and he found himself staring into narrowed golden eyes, his and Sesshoumaru's lips locked. The monk's free hand came up instinctively to tread through the soaked silver locks. His anger melted away to reveal the feelings he'd been trying so hard to hide. "Say it, Sesshoumaru," he whispered.

"Don't leave," the youkai growled, nipping at the human's bottom lip.

"Don't trade me then."

They shared another kiss, the youkai finally noticing the rain had stopped. Sesshoumaru smirked as he pulled away. "Maybe..." he murmured.

Mirouku took a deep breath, a lazy smile on his face. "Maybe you should check on Rin. Kagome can easily take out that worthless Jaken." He lowered his hand to the other's, freeing his wrist, and nodded in the direction they'd just left. His smile fell as the youkai disappeared through the trees and he clutched his trembling right arm to his body.

'No... no!' Mirouku sank to his knees with a painful whimper. 'No! This can't control my life anymore...!' "No more...!" He gasped sharply as the pain suddenly stopped and began crying softly with relief.

As predicted, the Western lord found his servant on his back, unconscious, with numerous bumps decorating his head which was now halfway in the river, and a heavily breathing reincarnated miko. He answered before either of them could ask the question: "I left him at the castle, heavily-guarded. He was becoming a nuisance to travel with."

"You're lying!" Sango spat, raising Hiraikotsu. "I heard him."

"I agree!" Inuyasha yelled. "I also heard his voice as we followed Sango here."

"Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't lie!" Rin cried, clutching the staff to her chest. Sesshoumaru gave her a look then addressed the group before him, "You probably don't have the information I need anyway."

"I do have information," Inuyasha snarled, clenching a claw. "But it hasn't been... confirmed."

"This human means so much to you? You've got two women at your side. And from the lingering scents you carry, you have a new child and a human mate."

"He means nothing to you!" the hanyou yelled. "You'll probably kill him once you get what you want."

Sango's eyes widened as she noticed the faint tightening of the youkai lord's body after the accusation was made, then narrowed once more.

"That's not true!" Rin glared at the hanyou and the boy's eyes blinked repeatedly.

'Just... like Kagome... Jinenji said...' Inuyasha thought.

"Quiet, Rin."

His scowl returned at the sound of his brother's voice, deepening even further.

"We'll continue on our separate ways," Sesshoumaru informed them. "When we meet again, we'll see what comes out of it." He turned, flicking his long hair over his shoulder and headed back to Mirouku's hiding spot. "Rin. Jaken. Let's go." The babbling toad jumped to his feet, only to slip and fall into the raging river with a yell of "Sesshoumaru-sama!" as he was carried off.

"Ah-Un." Rin tugged the reins gently and the beast turned, leaving also.

Sango's eyes followed her, drawn to the sound of the rings on the monk's staff. 'That Sesshoumaru...'