Okay, Marty and Lizzy are compiling a collection of well written fics that criticize bad writing, bad pairings, and just bad scenarios in general. You will laugh, cry, implode, and fart form all of the clicheness. So read and review, flame if you like, and remember, its ALL A JOKE! :D

xoxox

Kitty Hunter skipped over from her parents expensive car to platform 9 3/4, and of course she conviniently knew where it was. She was a transfer from an American high school, but she was so amazingly pretty and perfect that her teacher sent her to Hogwarts as a normal 6th year student. Her perfect blonde hair and sexy body made her an object of lust for all guys.

"HI! I noticed you are standing alone and I have never seen you around, so I am going to come over and be your best friend for ever and ever and ever!" squealed a random girl named Hilly, whose picture perfect face and gorgeous body fell in comparison only to Kitty's perfection.

"Hee hee, I am Kitty Hunter, but my friends call me Mary-Sue. Wanna be my anonymous best friend who stands by my side and laughs at my humble jokes?" Mary-Sue trilled.

"Sure!" grinned Hilly as she popped a quick, triangular-shaped pill in her mouth and hugged her new best friend.

"What was that?" Kitty asked as she stared at the pill.

"A... B... C... D... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Hilly, handing over more ecstacy tablets.

"Sweet! Rock on, biatch." smiled Kitty as she grabbed a pill and headed onto the train, making an anonymous and random boy swoon over her.

"Ohmigiddygodstrouser, I am in love with MARY-SUE." a random boy with glasses said to his random friend, who grinned like a fool.

The train started rolling and Kitty saw the back of the train fall off of a cliff.

"Like, oh my freaking god, Hilly, the train is falling off of a cliff! I should save the day and be all glamorous to the helpless and horribly out of character people!" she gasped while running over and grabbing a hot boy by the arm. Apparently, smart 16 year old fully-trained witches and wizards equipped with wands were unable to save their sorry asses, so Mary-Sue had to chime in and help.

"Climb on me!" she giggled as the boy clung to her body. With Hilly watching and snorting some strange white powder, Kitty saved everyone in the school from an untimely and undramatic death.

"OH MY GOD MARY-SUE YOU SAVED MY LIFE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU ROCK MY PURPLE SOCKS!" screamed Draco Malfoy as he flung himself on her.

"Oh, it was nothing." she smiled while wrapping her arms around his waist.

A boy with a scar walked into the compartment. "I'm Harry POTTER!" he trilled while striking a pose. "You saved me, too. I LOVE YOU MARY-SUE." he yelled while joining Draco and Kitty in their not so innocent embrace.

"A cornicopia of love!" smiled the random boy while jumping into the hug, grabbing Kitty's butt.

"Mary-Sue saved the day..." slurred Hilly as she grabbed a wall for support. "Ooh, pretty colors."

This is pathetic. Let's fix this right now...

Lizzy and Marty, the authors of horrible fanfictions, rushed into the train compartment carrying large guns.

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET DOWN!" yelled Lizzy as she and Marty fired their guns and shot Kitty to hell, stole Hilly's drugs, and shot her down as well.

THE END OF MARY-SUE.

::cheering form all around.::

Okay, review everyone :D