Author's Note: HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I felt for doing a little Christmassy one-shot songfic… so I decided to write a kind of humour-parody weird think that just popped up in my head. LoL I'm kinda hyper right now so don't take this too seriously, okay…?
Oh, by the way. The song Santa Claus is Coming to Town doesn't belong to me but to someone else. Sadly though, I don't know who exactly P.
Rated PG for mild swearing.
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
Draco Malfoy groaned and rolled out of his bed in his Head Boy dormitory, swaying slightly when standing up. He wasn't exactly looking forward to today's events.
How the hell did this happen? He thought angrily while rummaging about in his wardrobe, looking for a clean robe. And how on earth am I supposed to get out of it?!
You won't, a little voice said in his head.
Oh shut up, Draco thought, of course I will. I'm a Malfoy and Malfoys get out of unpleasant stuff.
Fifteen minutes later he was dressed and had also taken care of his hair (no, his morning hairdo wasn't very cool or especially snobbish at all) so he was ready to head off for Christmas breakfast.
I wonder who nominated me, he mused on. Could it have been-
"Good morning dear friend", someone greeted him just outside. It was Hermione, Head Girl, sitting at the couch.
Draco froze. Of course! He thought. How could I be so stupid…
Flashback
"I mean, who is so stupid that he would want to play Santa?" Draco whispered and Crabbe and Goyle laughed.
"Silence please", Dumbledore said and shot a look towards the trio. "We have now put together a list of our four most proper nominees. Please notice that we have only chosen sixth and seventh years."
"Imagine Fred Creevy (A/N Dennis and Colin Creevy's younger brother, first year.) being Santa", Draco whispered again and they all three laughed again.
Dumbledore cleared his throat with another look at Draco. "The nominees are…"
Blah blah blah¸Draco thought. Like I care. He should hurry up, so that I can-
"And last, but not the least, Draco Malfoy."
"WHAT?!" Draco yelled. The rest of the students laughed. "Oh shut up you two", he snapped at Grabbe and Goyle. "It's not funny!"
End Flashback
It had been Granger, of course, who had nominated him. It would be just like her, he thought. No one else would ever dare messing with him like that. But he wasn't going to lack out at her… no, because then she'd know that he had won. No one knew, and Draco wished for it to stay that way. Talk about losing respect if you dressed up like Santa Claus!
"Morning Granger", he muttered, still refusing to call her by her first name. Then she might think that they in some weird way had become friends. No way.
"Happy Christmas!" she said in a cheerful voice.
"Same to you", he said and headed out through the portrait hole.
He was hungry and wanted breakfast. The Christmas Day breakfast at Hogwarts was something extra, at least it had been three years ago – the previous time he had spent the holidays at school because of the Yule Ball. This year was very similar; many students that usually went home had signed up for staying, something which didn't make him very happy. If he was revealed, then everyone would be watching instead of just a few. In fact, he didn't know there was one single kid who had left the castle.
Half an hour later, his stomach was pleased and filled with all kinds of eggs – scrambled, fried, boiled, etc, meatballs, sausages, a muffin and a couple of toasts, so Draco headed off towards Dumbledore's office.
He glanced at his watch. It wasn't an ordinary muggle watch, oh no, but a wizarding watch, meaning that there were planets circling around something in the middle. The Malfoy boy though, having grown up with wizarding technology, was able to understand it and saw that it was five minutes to ten o'clock, when he was supposed to arrive at Dumbledore's.
"Butterbeer", Draco muttered and the gargoyle moved aside.
He stepped up onto the moving staircase that took him up into the room.
"Ah, there you are, Mr Malfoy." Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, gazing at Draco over his half-moon glasses. "I was just wondering if you would show up or not."
"I couldn't really just skip it, could I?"
Dumbledore smiled. "You're right. But you should look at it as an honour."
"Honour yeah right!" he muttered sarcastically. "It's really an honour to embarrass oneself in front of the whole school. Yes, I can't wait."
"I'm glad you feel that way, Mr Malfoy", Dumbledore said, pretending not to hear the very obvious tone of sarcasm in Draco's voice. "But let's not waste time. As you know, the celebrations will start at three o'clock. We believe that a proper time for your entrance will be at four o'clock, when they all have eaten. Of course, you won't be totally without food. The kitchen is free for you all day and I'm sure the house-elves are glad to help."
"You mean I won't be there with the others?!"
"Obviously, no."
"THEN THEY WILL KNOW IT'S ME!"
"Calm down! Yes, they will know that it is you. But if you wish, we could arrange for some cover so that they won't know until you actually appear there, like a stay in the Infirmary."
"Yes please."
"Noted. Let's move on, then. At approximate a quarter to four, the presents will be arranged in your sleigh-"
"Sleigh?!"
"Yes, of course. Santa Claus does always arrive in a sleigh, doesn't he?"
Dumbledore has gone mad, Draco thought. And Granger, when this is over, you are so dead
"However", Dumbledore continued, "when inside the Great Hall, I expect you to behave properly-"
"Whatever", he murmured.
"-and then you are supposed to hand out the gifts."
The students had been able to leave gifts for each other in the sleigh, which had been placed in the entrance, for about a week. By now, it was filled with them. And Santa was supposed to hand them all out…
"And then?" Draco asked.
"Then you thank them, wish everyone a Merry Christmas and-"
Get the hell out of there, Draco finished.
"-leave gracefully. Last, but not the least", Dumbledore finished, "your costume is in the box over there."
Oh! You better watch out,
you better not cry,
Oh! You better watch out, Oh! You better watch out, Oh! You better watch out, Oh! You better watch out, Oh! You better watch out,you better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming to town!
3:20 PM
Draco took a deep breath before turning around and facing himself in the mirror. Oh bloody hell, he thought. Red doesn't suit me at all. Couldn't he at least have given me a green costume?
3:20 PM 3:20 PM 3:20 PM 3:20 PM 3:20 PMSanta is supposed to wear a red costume, the little voice inside his head said.
Shut up! Draco thought.
My hair looks awful with this idiotic… thing on.
So he pulled the cap off and messed his hair up a little so that it fell into his eyes, before he pulled the cap back on.
Kind of sexy, he thought. No! No, what the hell am I thinking?! Sexy?! In a Santa Claus costume. Yeah right.
He checked his watch again. 3:25 PM. Twenty minutes left. Yes, in twenty minutes he was supposed to be at the Sleigh.
Aaaaah! He thought. This is actually happening. I'M BEING SANTA CLAUS! Please, God, help me out of this. Malfoys and Santas aren't supposed to exist in the same sentence.
He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town!
3:55 PM
Draco was nervous. No, not nervous, he reminded himself. I'm not nervous. Malfoys aren't nervous. Hell no.
3:55 PM 3:55 PM 3:55 PM 3:55 PM 3:55 PMOkay then. But he did still have a very unpleasant feeling in his stomach. Perhaps it wasn't his nerves, but another feeling he couldn't really think of a proper name for.
One hour, he thought, in one hour it will definitively be over.
Or so he thought…
He sees you when you're sleeping,
he knows when you're awake.
He knows when you've been bad or good,
so be good for goodness sake!
So...You better watch out, You better not cry
You better not pout, I'm Telling you why.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
He checked his watch for the hundredth time during the last five minutes. Three, two, one… four o'clock. It was time.
I wonder if Santa always comes in time, he thought. But I don't think so. Should I be a little late? Oh what the hell, I'll just go now and get this over with!
He roused the eight reindeers up (they had been kind of frozen earlier, so that they wouldn't make a mess of it all) and stepped up in the sleigh. There was barely any room for him, as it was very filled with gifts. The animals set off in a high speed, Draco had to concentrate on not falling off.
The reindeers pulled the sleigh down the Great Hall. He was halfway when he realized that the students had started applauding! Shit, he thought. It's worse than I thought.
The sleigh had stopped up in front of all of the tables. Everyone's attention was straight towards him. Draco felt that he went red… but hopefully, no one noticed as he was wearing that horrible masque.
He took a deep breath. Okay, he thought. Let's just shoot and get this over with. A little ho ho-ing never killed anyone, did it? And then I'm just going to have to hand the gifts out. Piece a cake. Theoratically. Practically… not.
So… shoot.
"Ho ho", he began quietly.
But there was a buzz in the room, the students were chatting with each other and laughing.
"SHUT UP!" Draco yelled. "SHOW SOME RESPECT!"
Dead silence. Everyone stared at him with shock.
Shit, he thought. What the fuck did I just say?
He laughed slyly. "Er, I mean silence please, of course", he said. "And… ho ho ho, are there any… nice kids around?"
That's how Santa says it, isn't it? He thought, unsure.
But there was no response.
"There aren't?" he asked the crowd. "Well, then I might just leave again. Yes, I can have all the Christmas gifts for myself. That's like okay with me, if you don't want them."
"Of course we want them!" someone shouted.
"Yeah!" someone agreed.
"Let's try again, then", Draco said patiently. "Are there any nice kids here?"
"YEEEEEEEES!"
Little tin horns, little toy drums.
Rudy-toot-toot and rummy tum tums.
Little tin horns, little toy drums. Little tin horns, little toy drums.Santa Claus is coming to town.
Little toy dolls that cuddle and coo,
Elephants, boats and Kiddie cars too.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
5:00 PM
"Okay… next one", Draco said with a bit of tiredness in his voice.
One hour, he thought. Ha! At least half of the gifts were left. He wouldn't be done until at least a quarter to six.
"Dennis Creevey", he called and the boy practically jumped out of his seat and ran up to receive his a Christmas gift from Santa himself.
He was at least a head shorter than Draco, although Dennis had grown quite a bit during the couple of years he had been to Hogwarts. But, Draco was quite tall.
"Thank you!" Dennis said excitedly and hurried back to his seat.
Stupid material kids, Draco thought. He, if anyone, knew that how rich you were and how many things you owned didn't matter. Not a bit. A shame that he hadn't realized it until recently, though.
But there was no time for deep thoughts now, oh no. Instead, he grabbed the next gift and read the name. With a minor sigh, he called out, "Harry Potter."
"Another one", he muttered to himself. Harry had been given at least five of them already. And these were only gifts from other Hogwarts students (meaning no sweaters from Mrs Weasley). But it didn't really bother Draco how many gifts Harry received, no, that wasn't the problem.
What was really bugging him was the knowable smirk Harry had shot him each time he had come to collect his presents. It was a smirk that clearly stated that he knew it was Draco. Not that he had really expected it to be someone else, of course. Draco was the only one who wasn't there, and those silvery blue eyes were unmistakable.
"Thank you Santa", Harry said and chuckled.
Obviously he thinks he's funny, Draco thought angrily. He's not!
"Next one", he said when Harry was back in his seat. "Susan Bones."
The kids in Girl and boy land
will have a jubilee.
They're gonna build a toy land town
all around the Christmas tree.
5:50 PM
"Well well", Draco said, almost desperately, "there's only two left."
5:50 PM 5:50 PMUgh, he thought, finally.
"And one of them is for Draco Malfoy, who, unfortunately is, er, very ill. Yes, very ill, I've heard. So I'll go and give him it later", he said and added it to the pile of gifts he already had received (there were now four of them).
"And the last… but absolutely not the least… Fred Creevey!"
Once the little first year had come up, gotten his gift and headed back to his seat, Draco stepped back up into the sleigh.
"That was nice, wasn't it?" he lied. "But now I will have to leave you. I hope I'll" – not, he added in his thoughts – "see you again next year. Merry Christmas!"
And under applause he was pulled out of the Great Hall by the eight reindeers.
7:00 PM
Draco stood outside Professor Dumbledore's office again, carrying the box holding the costume.
"Butterbeer", he said and was allowed to enter through the staircase and all that.
The room was empty. He wondered if he should just leave the box here or…
"Professor?" he called.
A couple of seconds later, Dumbledore appeared upon the balcony. "Ah, Santa Claus himself", he said with a smile.
"I brought the costume", Draco said without smiling at all.
"You can keep it if you'd like."
"Um… no thanks", he said.
"Okay then. Thank you for the very… innovative performance. I am honestly considering hiring you every year. You look terrified", he added. "It wasn't that horrible, was it?"
"It was!" Draco exclaimed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Professor, I'll go and forget about this."
Dumbledore smiled. "You do that."
But the rest of us will always remember, he thought when the young man had left.
Author's Note: Happy holidays! Merry Christmas! Happy Chrismukkah! LoL Seth in the OC is so cool…
Sorry if the end was rushed but I'm leaving tomorrow so I wanted to get this up. And I apologize if the layout is kinda weird but QuickEdit is messing with me!
So I hope, that wherever in the world you might be, you're all having a fabulous Christmas!
Megafreak
Ps. I forgot… reviews are welcome!