The newly wed couple, Kenshin and Kaoru sat happily in the yard of the
Kamiya dojo watching the sun rise. They had just been married for a couple
of months. The wedding had been beautiful. Kenshin's and Kaoru's love for
each other had been obvious.
Kenshin wrapped on arm around Kaoru's waist and pulled her closer. He was still haunted by his past, but whenever Kaoru was near he felt like he could bear it a while longer. He didn't ever want her to hurt. He rather die than have her feel the way he did sometimes. It was hard to forget all the people he had killed.
Kaoru looked over at her husband. There was a pained look on his face.
"Kenshin? Is there something wrong?"
Kenshin held her closer deciding to tell her everything.
"I'm scared Kaoru. I'm terrified that I'm going to lose you. I'm scared that you'll get hurt again, if you're with me. I don't want that to happen because of me."
He started to tremble, his hand shaking slightly as he gripped her even tighter. Kaoru soothingly placed a hand on his face.
"I don't care about that. I would give my life to have just one moment like this with you. I'm happy right now because you're with me. That's all that matters."
Kenshin sighed and kissed her on the forehead.
"I better go make breakfast before Yahiko starts complaining like he usually does." He said.
He let go and stood up. "Thank you, Kaoru for your words."
Kaoru watched him go. She was really worried abut him. He hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately. He was having frequent nightmares, which Kaoru had had to soothe away. He couldn't go on like this much longer. He had to confront it sometime, and Kaoru just hoped when he finally did, he'd be able to make it through.
Yahiko rubbed his sleepy eyes as he stumbled into the kitchen. "Hey Kenshin. Is breakfast ready yet?"
Kenshin, who had been chopping vegetables, paused for a moment. "Soon Yahiko. Must you always be so impatient?"
Yahiko quieted. It wasn't common for the good natured Kenshin to be so grumpy. Why was he?
All the rest of the day Kenshin was easily angered and distant. That night in bed Kaoru laid her head against his chest.
"I know that's there's something else bothering you."
Kenshin sighed and smoothed out Kaoru's raven black hair. He recalled his dreams that had been reoccurring over the last few weeks. They had been dreams in which horrible things had always happened to Kaoru because of his past and he had woken up shaking. He pondered what he could possible say to her.
"It is nothing, nothing that it is." Kenshin said.
Kaoru turned to face him. "Don't lie to me Kenshin. I can help you if you only let me. I'm tired of you always shutting yourself away. It hurts me. Don't you trust me?"
Kenshin looked saddened at her words. "I trust you with me life, that I do Kaoru, but sometimes I keep things from you because I'm afraid you'll get hurt. There are terrible things that I have done. Things so horrible that I cannot be forgiven for them. I do not wish you to know of them." Kenshin said. He thought back to those days of hate and bloodshed. He had killed so many, taken their lives away without a second thought.
Kaoru lifted her hand and lightly traced his scar.
"Those things, those shadows of the past will never be undone, yes. But that life is long over. That person is long dead. He does not exist anymore. You are Kenshin Himura now. The battousai is long dead. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone messes up. But we can't let that rule our lives. We are living for this moment, not the past."
Kenshin smiled down at her and gently brushed her cheek.
"I needed to hear that. Thank you, Kaoru."
A couple weeks went by and gradually Kenshin's nightmares faded away. Kaoru was always there by his side to comfort him when he woke. It was Kaoru, more than anything, that helped him survive, that made him want to survive. It was her that made him smile when the memories lingered. Then memories didn't hurt so badly anymore because he had better memories now. New memories of happy days with Kaoru and Yahiko and all the other people who lived here. They accepted him, they didn't care about his past. To them he was just Kenshin Himura, once a wanderer, but now one of them.
Kenshin wrapped on arm around Kaoru's waist and pulled her closer. He was still haunted by his past, but whenever Kaoru was near he felt like he could bear it a while longer. He didn't ever want her to hurt. He rather die than have her feel the way he did sometimes. It was hard to forget all the people he had killed.
Kaoru looked over at her husband. There was a pained look on his face.
"Kenshin? Is there something wrong?"
Kenshin held her closer deciding to tell her everything.
"I'm scared Kaoru. I'm terrified that I'm going to lose you. I'm scared that you'll get hurt again, if you're with me. I don't want that to happen because of me."
He started to tremble, his hand shaking slightly as he gripped her even tighter. Kaoru soothingly placed a hand on his face.
"I don't care about that. I would give my life to have just one moment like this with you. I'm happy right now because you're with me. That's all that matters."
Kenshin sighed and kissed her on the forehead.
"I better go make breakfast before Yahiko starts complaining like he usually does." He said.
He let go and stood up. "Thank you, Kaoru for your words."
Kaoru watched him go. She was really worried abut him. He hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately. He was having frequent nightmares, which Kaoru had had to soothe away. He couldn't go on like this much longer. He had to confront it sometime, and Kaoru just hoped when he finally did, he'd be able to make it through.
Yahiko rubbed his sleepy eyes as he stumbled into the kitchen. "Hey Kenshin. Is breakfast ready yet?"
Kenshin, who had been chopping vegetables, paused for a moment. "Soon Yahiko. Must you always be so impatient?"
Yahiko quieted. It wasn't common for the good natured Kenshin to be so grumpy. Why was he?
All the rest of the day Kenshin was easily angered and distant. That night in bed Kaoru laid her head against his chest.
"I know that's there's something else bothering you."
Kenshin sighed and smoothed out Kaoru's raven black hair. He recalled his dreams that had been reoccurring over the last few weeks. They had been dreams in which horrible things had always happened to Kaoru because of his past and he had woken up shaking. He pondered what he could possible say to her.
"It is nothing, nothing that it is." Kenshin said.
Kaoru turned to face him. "Don't lie to me Kenshin. I can help you if you only let me. I'm tired of you always shutting yourself away. It hurts me. Don't you trust me?"
Kenshin looked saddened at her words. "I trust you with me life, that I do Kaoru, but sometimes I keep things from you because I'm afraid you'll get hurt. There are terrible things that I have done. Things so horrible that I cannot be forgiven for them. I do not wish you to know of them." Kenshin said. He thought back to those days of hate and bloodshed. He had killed so many, taken their lives away without a second thought.
Kaoru lifted her hand and lightly traced his scar.
"Those things, those shadows of the past will never be undone, yes. But that life is long over. That person is long dead. He does not exist anymore. You are Kenshin Himura now. The battousai is long dead. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone messes up. But we can't let that rule our lives. We are living for this moment, not the past."
Kenshin smiled down at her and gently brushed her cheek.
"I needed to hear that. Thank you, Kaoru."
A couple weeks went by and gradually Kenshin's nightmares faded away. Kaoru was always there by his side to comfort him when he woke. It was Kaoru, more than anything, that helped him survive, that made him want to survive. It was her that made him smile when the memories lingered. Then memories didn't hurt so badly anymore because he had better memories now. New memories of happy days with Kaoru and Yahiko and all the other people who lived here. They accepted him, they didn't care about his past. To them he was just Kenshin Himura, once a wanderer, but now one of them.