Disclaimer: All characters presented in the fic are the property of J.K. Rowling. I just like to play with them on occasion
Author's Note: Written for elementaldeity for the dmhgficexchange on livejournal.
Special Thanks: Terri, Inell, Zephyr and especially nakhashmekashefah for the wonderful feed back especially in the eleventh hour.
Chapter Ten – Breaking the Dam
Draco held Hermione as she continued to sob against him. "I wanted to die," she repeated over and over, as her tears soaked into his cloak.
What does one say when someone admits that they longed for death? Draco could not dismiss it as a hysterical cry after a traumatic event. Hermione had not only longed for death, she had actively sought its comfort when she inserted the blade deep into her wrist and followed the trail of her body's conduit for life-giving blood.
Having no words of comfort, Draco simply wrapped his arms tighter around Hermione as he held her against his chest. He tried to allow the comfort that Hermione's presence afforded him to overshadow her hysterics. He knew the pain that she was in but could not allow himself to reflect on that now and so he simply held her tight as he gently rocked her back and forth.
It wasn't until Hermione's cries turned angry that Draco began to question his decision. Where she had lay contently before, Draco's arms now strained to hold her within his grasp. "I wanted to die. I wanted to die. I wanted to die, Malfoy," she chanted angrily, her arms fighting for freedom.
When Draco did not respond to her angry declaration, Hermione's body stilled and her voice dropped to an angry hiss. "I wanted to die, Malfoy, yet you let him walk away?" she questioned through gritted teeth.
Draco released Hermione at those words. He didn't even bother to shield his face as he saw her hand draw back to strike. As the force from her blow snapped his head to the side, her last words 'you let him walk away' reverberated in his head.
'Did I make the right choice?' Draco questioned.
"After all that he's done to you, to Pansy, to me, how could you let him walk away like that? Can you imagine how it feels to know what one person has driven you to out of desperation? I was beyond desperation. I did not hesitate, when his mind slipped from mine, to seek death," the witch shouted angrily.
Hermione's words cut through Draco as surely as any blade could have. He could feel the tender wounds upon his soul that he had hoped were fully healed tear open, the flow of emotion running, coursing through him to ignite his own temper. Snatching Hermione's wrist to reveal her angry wound, Draco spat angrily, "Is this what has you so upset, Granger?
"No, I cannot say that I have been in the position to seek death. My captor was never so merciful as to afford me the opportunity to try and end my life. I was forced, instead, to lay in wait for them to tire of me, for them to forget about me.
"You forget easily. Do you not remember how I recoiled from your touch? So wrapped up in pointless rivalries, you assumed that my reluctance was due to your lineage. I wanted nothing more than someone to grant me death.
"For nearly two months, Granger. While you were back at Hogwarts, concerned with patrols and essays, Potter and Weasley, I lay silent for two bloody months. Silent as they raped me. Silent as they beat me. Silent as they sliced my skin for their amusement. The only time my silence was broken was when Rookwood came.
"Do you know what caused me to break my silence, Granger? I asked why he healed me," Draco answered without waiting for Hermione's reply. "I asked Augustus Rookwood, the man who promised me that I would be tormented until I surrendered even the hope of death, why he healed me. I wanted to die, with every fiber of my being, I longed for sweet nothingness to engulf my soul.
"I could only wish that a knife had been left in that dungeon. Even had he healed me, the possibility of death would have been welcomed. Instead, I was left with indescribable pain that went beyond anything physical and the promise that the next day would bring more of the same."
Silence engulfed the room when Draco quieted. Hermione looked into his glassy eyes in wonder. His eyes told her that he was telling the truth. Oh, she did know he'd wanted to die, but they had never spoken in such detail about his time spent in the Death Eater camp. It wasn't until now that she truly understood just how broken Draco Malfoy had been when he returned to Hogwarts.
As Draco gazed out into the room, his eyes focusing on the wall before him, Hermione could feel a drumming in her chest.
Willing his voice to remain steady, Draco spoke. "I could not kill him. Death is something precious, a tranquil reward. Augustus Rookwood does not deserve such a gift."
Where every one of Hermione's emotions had been laced with hatred for Rookwood and disgust towards Draco's decision minutes before, she now felt something different. Her hand reached out tentatively to the side of Draco's face.
As Hermione's hand neared Draco's cheek, she felt as if there were a force pulling them together. Stronger than the bond that necessitated their living arrangements, stronger than the magic that interrupted her sleep when they were apart, this force was so strong that she could not have stopped the momentum of her hand had she tried.
Draco's shoulders relaxed when Hermione's hand touched his cheek. He felt the warmth of her hand radiate through him, stirring something from deep within. As they responded to each other's touch, currents of heat passed between them in time with their heartbeats, the magically charged energy cleansing them both of the angry words that had been exchanged.
Draco argued within himself even as his hand rose to cup Hermione's cheek, mimicking her own action. This was wrong, the timing was wrong. Hermione had witnessed the hell that was Augustus Rookwood not an hour ago, yet the burning in his veins was insistent.
He did not doubt any longer what drew him to Hermione. Draco wasn't sure that he ever truly questioned the legacy that had been passed through his father's blood. The bond that called to the both of them was something real and pure. An ancient magic that would not accept denial and it now called for their submission.
"We shouldn't," Draco started.
Hermione raised her hand to hold his against her cheek. "Why not?"
"Augustus-"
"...is gone."
"You wanted to-"
"But I'm alive," Hermione answered, leaning in towards Draco.
Even as he sought to resist her with his words, his body would not betray his heart in their actions.
"We should wait," he replied, even as he leaned in to meet her lips.
Once their lips met, their bodies were flooded with a torrent of emotion. Washed away in the flood was every pretense, every rivalry, every triviality that had prevented them from seeking the comfort of each other's arms up until this moment.
Their kiss was unhurried as their lips moved carefully against one another. Draco deliberately traced the silky contours of Hermione's lips, mentally noting the contour of every curve and crevice that crossed his path.
Hermione responded by drawing his lower lip between her own, sucking slowly as she measured his response to her ministrations, her hands making their way behind his head, her fingers threading themselves in Draco's sleek platinum mane.
Moving his arms about Hermione's waist, Draco pulled her close until he could feel the pleasant weight of her body against his. Never in his life had a kiss made him feel so completed. It was as if he had been hopping for eighteen years and suddenly discovered that he had another limb upon which to stand.
His thumbs played upon her lower back as their tongues met. Draco moaned as the remnants of chocolate and butterbeer in her mouth collided with his taste buds. They demanded more. Her touch was scintillating, her taste intoxicating. As Draco feasted upon Hermione, every fiber in his being called out for more.
When Hermione felt the vibrations upon her lips from Draco's moan, signals blazed across synapses to the pleasure receptors of her brain. She had tried to deny it for too long, but here in his arms, his thumbs raising goose bumps beneath her top as they drew endless circles on her back, the rest of his fingers resting just atop the curve of her rear, Hermione knew that all she could do was surrender.
Pulling away from Draco, Hermione freed her hands from his hair to run them down the side of his jaw, to his shoulders, until they came to rest on his chest. Looking him in the eye as she moved her fingers to the first button on his robe, Hermione gasped as Draco's left hand plundered into the mass of curls at the nape of her neck. She offered no resistance as he pulled on her hair to reveal the gentle bow between her chin and collar bone.
Hurriedly opening the buttons that sealed flesh from her hands, Hermione's chest heaved as his tongue traced her neck from its base to just below her ear. Her hands thrust inside of his partially opened robe, savoring the oneness she felt as his arms surrounded her and the heat of his body greeted her probing hands.
Draco felt Hermione's fingers graze his spine as they raised the hem of his jumper; he drew the lobe of her ear into his mouth. Emboldened by her initiative, he allowed the hand resting at the base of her spine to move to her side, subtly slipping beneath the soft fleece barring her flesh from him.
Hermione's responsiveness was exquisite, the hiss of air leaving her mouth as his hand alighted just off center of her torso. As his thumb began to lazily slide back and forth, its tip brushing against the cotton of her bra, Draco's hips moved forward in response as Hermione arched her back, thrusting her chest forward.
Stretching his body, Draco rolled Hermione onto her side, his body following hers so that they lay flush beside one another. His lips left her ear, seeking again the comfort of her mouth. Their hands lightly danced against one another's skin, delighting in the currents of energy that flowed at every juncture of their bodies, their mouths stoking the flames that danced through their veins.
As the current of raw emotion coursed through them, it moved as if on a wave approaching shore. Rising and falling as it crashed against the flesh that was yet un-chartered, cresting higher as their kisses grew more fervent, seeking the momentum needed to break through skin untouched. As their need was amplified, so were their caresses and kisses that began so carefully.
When Draco sucked Hermione's tongue into his mouth insistently, she responded by sliding her hands from behind his back to slide up the length of his torso. Draco groaned as her fingernails raked back down, dragging deliberately across his nipples.
Pleased with his response, Hermione freed her tongue from his mouth before taking his bottom lips between her teeth. "I want to hear you do that again," she mumbled, before releasing his lip to explore his throat. Sucking lightly as her tongue lapped at the juncture of his throat and jaw, Hermione again dragged her fingernails across his nipples.
Draco's response was automatic, the hand that had rested just below Hermione's ribcage moving upward as the one tangled in her hair fisted, the action showing his desire for her. Lightly brushing his thumb over Hermione's cloth covered nipple, Draco felt his own desire flare as she shuddered, her hot breath warm against his neck.
The rise and fall of Hermione's chest quickened, the softness of her breast inviting as she leaned into Draco's touch, wanting to taste, touch, and feel more. "Mmmmm," she moaned when his shoulders stiffened as she slid her leg between his, allowing her shin to brush between his legs. Frustrated by the restraint that Draco's partially opened robe offered her wandering hands, Hermione groaned, "Lose the bloody robe."
Draco ignored Hermione's pleas, driven by his own desire to explore her body, so willing and responsive beneath his touch. Releasing her hair, Draco lifted the hem of her sweat shirt to reveal the soft mounds of her chest, the stark whiteness of their covering contrasting against the creamy pillows straining to spill out of the top.
Lowering his head to lick the crease formed between the top of her breasts, Draco slid his fingers underneath the bottom of her bra, shifting his palms to cup her bare flesh within its confines.
Hermione inhaled, the smell of almond flooding her senses as Draco's hair tickled her nose. Kissing the top of his head, she threw her left leg over his hips, pulling him closer into her. Her hands tugged desperately at the buttons depriving her of unhindered access to Draco.
When the first button popped from his robe, Draco groaned, grinding his hips against Hermione's thigh as he used the leverage of his hands to roll the restrictive lingerie guarding her breasts from his eyes and mouth, out of the way.
Moaning as his lips found her nipple, Hermione jerked, her hands pulling forcefully, sending the offending buttons that remained to hinder her exploration, pinging across the room.
Draco groaned as her hands grazed the front of his trousers. Her touch cautious yet confident stirred a mix of emotions as he suckled her teats, a small cry resembling a whimper escaping as she sought to free him from his pants.
Reluctantly, Draco pulled his lips from Hermione, allowing his teeth to graze her nipples lightly before he seized her hands, pulling them close to his chest.
"We should stop, Hermione," Draco asserted, looking deeply into the vibrant warmth of her brown eyes. He could see the questioning in their shining depths and raised her hands to his lips to gently kiss each knuckle.
Hermione's eyes softened at the show of affection and she pulled a hand free to cup the side of his face. "Can you Draco? Can you stop now?"
Draco's resolve faltered as jolts of electricity seemed to leap from Hermione's hand upon his cheek.
"I know that I can't. I don't want to," Hermione continued, leaning up to press her lips against his jaw. She inhaled deeply, trying to layer this memory with his smell, his touch, and the peculiar blend of salty sweetness that invaded her mouth as she laved at his neck.
"But you're a- I mean you've never-" Draco stammered, not knowing how to broach the subject of her presumed innocence, subtlety not being a virtue that he was known for.
Pulling Draco's hands back around her waist, Hermione looked into his eyes. The uncertainty held within the silver pools startling as she watched him struggle between desire and chivalry. Using her hands, Hermione guided his face until she knew that he was focused on her eyes. "I've dreamed this for longer than I care to admit, Draco. For once, I want to wake up to find that the dream hasn't ended."
Draco didn't consider himself to be a romantic, subject to weakened resolve by a woman's wiles, but Hermione's words melted any remaining armor that had steeled his resolve.
There were no words left to be said and so Draco acted on impulse, his hands moving to the clasp at Hermione's back, stripping her of the bra that protected her abandoned modesty. He felt the weight of her breasts fall against his chest and sought out her throat, gathering several curls and twining them around his fingers as he tugged at her tresses.
When Hermione slid her hands into Draco's sleeves, he surrendered to her will, allowing her to slide the garment completely off of him. Leaning into her, Draco caught Hermione's lips in a soft kiss, again losing his left hand amidst the tangle of her curls as he guided her onto her back. His lips glided down her neck as he pulled the hem of her top up. Once her flesh was revealed, his hands caressed and teased her breasts as his lips planted kisses across her torso.
Hermione's back arched off of the bed, Draco's feathery kisses enticing yet tickling her. A fire simmered in her belly as his palms grazed the flat peaks on her chest. When he lifted his head and moved his hands to remove her top entirely from her torso, Hermione took the opportunity to do the same.
Gasping as Hermione pulled his bare chest against her own, Draco gladly shifted his weight, centering himself atop of her as her legs spread, inviting him to settle between them. They both felt compelled to eliminate all barriers making them two as opposed to one, the fire building inside of them threatening to consume all that was in its path.
When Draco slid down Hermione's torso, taking her sweat pants and panties as his tongue lapped at her thighs, knees, calves, and toes, Hermione felt more secure than she had in her entire life. Lying beneath Draco, every artifice stripped from her, she felt complete. She had no doubt that this was where she was meant to be.
His tongue met her core and the floodgates of her passion threatened to break. Clawing at his shoulders, Hermione urged Draco back atop her, panting in anticipation as he lifted his hips to pull down the last remaining barrier to their coupling. When he settled back over her, his arousal grazing her own desire, their gazes locked, Hermione's senses saturated in a stream of warmth and light as he pierced her, the dam to her soul breaking down in a flood of ecstasy.
When they fell into slumber, Draco and Hermione were wrapped tight in each other's arms and a blanket of contentment. If their worst night's sleep had been discovered in the past weeks due to their self-imposed separation, the slumber that greeted them could only be described as the best. Free from troubling dreams, or unfulfilled fantasies, they slept, taking comfort in the serenity that flowed between them.