A/N: New chapter! I want to start working on my other story again. Also, I might revise Nobody Knows Which Exit Is Yours, because... It sucks. Not so much the first chapters, I guess, but I got hurried the further in I got. Parts are pretty cheesy, unbelievable, and includes so many things that I myself refuse to read.... I cringe at the thought of that story. It's the first story I've ever finished though, so I can't abandon it.

I'll do my best not to rush myself with this story, and to finish it as well. Also, the chapter titles go along well with the chapters, as do the lyrics at the start (and sometimes end) of the chapter. I get inspiration from songs, and often I use them as guidelines. Check out the bands, they're great.

WARNING: This story will be slash. Repeat. Slash. And maybe some angst. Yes, definitely angst.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter. In fact, I haven't even read all the books... . I've read most, though, and quite a bit of fan fiction. ; Harry Potter, and any of the creations within, does not belong to me. I'll prolly forget to include the disclaimer in later chapters, so this will have to do for the whole story. So nyah. :P

Thanks to all my reviewers! Some responses at the end of this chapter.

ATTENTION: I am currently looking for a beta reader for this fic. I looked over Chapter 1 and saw things I had missed before updating. If anyone is interested or knows anyone who might be interested in beta'ing this or any of my other fics, say so in a review or email me. (Email provided in my profile.) I'll want maybe a short work that you've written to view style and skill.

Chapter 2

Painful Motivation

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I try to find some peace of mind,
When my life's treating me unkind, yeah,
Pain will be my motivation,
I'm going use my imagination,
Yeah, I'm gonna live before I die.
-Social Distortion "Live Before You Die"

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Severus, arms full of books, papers, and quills, strode down the hallways of Hogwarts towards the open door. Outside, the sun was shining bright and warm. Normally, he preferred to stay in the dungeons, the Slytherin common room, or the room he shared with a few other boys. A true born Slytherin, yearning for power, darkness, anonymity. It came as no surprise, no surprise at all, when he was sorted into the serpentine house at the beginning of the year. Today, however, the dark was oppressive, suffocating, and he couldn't bring himself to stay.

The sun beat down harshly against his black robes, black eyes, black hair. Everything was so black, he almost felt as if he was an aura of darkness, a blot in the sun's radiance. His skin, however, was almost sickeningly pale. His cheeks were sunken in, his arms, wrists, legs, ribs, every bone protruded a bit too much from the skin. He knew what the other kids said about him. He could hear their whispers, their mocking, their laughter. It wasn't as if they took pains to hide it.

Harsh eyes slicing through him as he walked through the halls."He's like a walking skeleton."

A group of giggling girls surrounding another, horrified girl."I can't go near him! He's so creepy. Give me a different dare." The girls completely understand their friend, and give her a new dare. They don't wish to be cruel, after all.

Dark looks cast his way, narrowed eyes, murmurs in the classroom, in the Great Hall, in his mind."He looks like a perfect Death Eater. He looks like actual death, a skeleton."

A girl wrinkles her nose, throwing him a look from the corner of her eyes as she talks to a friend."I hear his hair's so stringy because he's a zombie, and it's all falling out."

Cruel eyes pinched into crueler grins, teeth flashing ivory as they speaks."Didn't you know? He's some kind of dead birdman. Can't you tell by his beaked nose and beady little eyes? And look at his hair! Greasy and stringy, just like a vermin crow feather."

No, he definitely didn't fail to hear the talk. Sometimes, he wished he did. Mostly, though, he wished he could get revenge. So many curses at the tip of his tongue, tingling in his fingers, materializing before his eyes only to disappear with the realization that they weren't really there. Sometimes, at night, he could see classmates bowing before him, admitting his superiority, admitting that it was they who were ugly, they who were dark and gaunt and didn't fit in. Men and women alike begged to court him, threw themselves at his feet. But he always awoke to the sharp realization that none of it was true, that he was the misfit, that he was the underling.

Today, however, there were no whispers or stories at his expense. Indeed, no one noticed him at all. It wasn't surprising, as he rarely came outside, especially on such a sunny, warm day. No one saw the sweeping black robes pass by, the dark hair oddly still despite his determined steps, the black eyes set on one spot and one spot only, refusing to move an inch.

No one except the four people he wanted most to be invisible from. Just as he was near, so near, the large, shady tree, the fallen leaves to close he could almost touch them, someone stepped in his path. For long moments he refused to look up, staring steadfastly at the chest in front of his face. He was amply aware of his short stature, but remained coldly distant, constantly uncaring.

Finally, with measured distaste, he let his eyes trail up a puffed out chest, a long, strained neck, to unwelcome grey eyes. Sirius Black. A sneering, fiery Sirius Black. Behind him, also glaring, was James Potter and, behind him, Peter Pettigrew. A quick glance revealed Remus Lupin sitting under a nearby tree, doing his best not to notice what his friends were doing.

There had been a steadily growing dislike between all the boys. In the beginning, their meetings most often ended with hexes and curses being thrown, but they quickly realized that Severus was at an advantage in that. Instead, now, the four Gryffindors tended to use physical force.

"Look, the greasy git has finally left his dungeons," Sirius sneered. "Come to see the circus?" A reference to the small circus that was going to be held that night. "Didn't you know? You're the main act of the freak show."

"And you're the sideshow," Severus hissed. "But at least I'm interesting enough to be seen for more than a split seconds."

Severus was thrown sharply backwards as a fist impacted with his jaw. It would bruise, he knew from experience, but that didn't matter at the moment. All that mattered was revenge. He pulled his wand out, but Black was already there, and he was forced to grapple with his thin hands over the wand. Then the wand was flying through the air, somersaulting, doing back flips, sidekicks, the breaststroke!

Severus stared despondently as his wand landed somewhere amidst the thorns of a bush that was so close yet so far away. They were on him like a pack of starving wolves. Fists gripped his robes, slammed against his body as they pulled and shoved him up, to his knees, to his feet. Oddly disconnected from reality suddenly. The world was a shimmering mirage, threatening to cave in at any moment. This mirage, however, was a nightmare image. Grotesque creatures in every direction, laughter, anger, sharp edges and points. And then the masks were there again, this time the green and red and yellows mixed with black masks, wands pointed his way, wands poking his sides. Flashes of green and then all was black.

When Severus opened his eyes, he was standing exactly where he last remembered. He could vaguely hear people screaming in the back of his mind. Just in front of him, Sirius and James were standing, eyes opened wide with shock. Peter was nowhere to be seen, and Remus stood, alarmed, beside the tree he had been sitting under previously.

The air around Severus was strangely hot, so hot he could feel his skin tightening. The world was cast in an orange glow, except one place. He stared at that one place, realizing suddenly what had happened, why everyone was so terrified, why everything was so hot, so orange. Severus looked straight up from the humongous shadow into piercing red eyes.

There, hovering so close it could almost scorch his hair, was a gigantic, fiery beast. At the moment it was just a ball of flames, searching for something to be. As soon as it caught Severus' eye, it transformed into a gargantuan dragon. Severus watched, shocked and amazed, as the dragon took off through the air. It swooped dramatically around, sparks showering out behind it.

Severus continued watching as the grasses around him caught fire. He had summoned this powerful demon, he knew, for the first successful time in his life. This demon that started chaos in the form of sparks with each twist, this demon whose breath was a shimmer of heat and smoke. The dragon tail lashed out at a nearby tree, slicing through it and setting the remaining pieces on fire. It all seemed so unreal.

Severus didn't notice as the three boys, three of his four worst enemies, struggled to find a path through the flames. He didn't notice as the flames licked his skin, burnt his hair, stung his eyes. The air was filled with the crackling of flames, with smoke and the shine of heat. He saw the world through that shine, heard his thoughts through that shine. Everything was distorted, magnified, vivid.

The dragon turned back to Severus, gave a great roar, then shot up into the sky. He held his breath, watching the clouds anxiously, but he knew the beast was gone. It had defended and fought for its master as it must, and it's job was finished. The fires, however, were still burning. Everywhere there were flames. Everywhere except a foot all around Severus. Elsewhere, people were screaming spells to break the flames down.

Severus turned slowly, in a daze, as a cold hand grasped hold of his arm. He vaguely made out the brown hair and eyes of Remus Lupin, but his mind and sight were still covered by a thick film of shimmering heat. The world was tilting this way and that, threatening to buck him off. He curled his toes into his shoes, grounding himself easily. The other boy, slightly taller than himself, held on tight to his arm and leaned close, so close his lips, so soft, brushed against Severus' ear.

"Hurry, run," Lupin urged. "Before the flames cover the last paths. There's still a few going to Hogwarts, but they're disappearing quickly. Hurry!"

Lupin tugged Severus arm, and it proved the action to break the spell. Severus stood stock still a moment, staring wide-eyed at the flames on his every side. His fear broke the spell of protection and the flames were able to travel closer to the two boys. With another insistent tug by the arm, they were off, leaping over short, weak flames, dodging sudden licks of heat.

Severus pulled away from Lupin suddenly as they reached a halfway point between their original spot and the safety of Hogwarts. His notebook. He had left his notebook lying on the ground. Without a backward glance, Severus tore away and took off, back into the heart of the fires. He heard a shout behind him but paid it no heed. Fire tore at his flesh, he could smell the acrid smell of burnt hair, but he didn't care.

Finally, after an eternity, Severus saw his notebook. It was lying on top of the many things he had been carrying earlier, and the flames, a scorching ring around the items, was drawing slowly in. He pulled in a deep breath and threw himself through the barrier of fire, felt the heat biting his skin, heard it roaring in his eyes, and then he was through. He picked his notebook up and was about to leave before realizing the little book was strangely light.

Severus opened the front cover and fell into a shocked stillness. Ashes, light and fluffy, drifted out and onto the open air before falling from lack of anything to float on. The pages had burnt up. The cover, a tough black plastic, was fine though a bit malleable, and he cursed himself for thinking the crisp paper would be able to survive the fire. Now it was ruined, gone, just like that.

"Severus!"

Severus looked up from the empty shell of a notebook in his hands as someone touched his shoulder. Remus Lupin again. He wondered vaguely why the boy had come after him, had followed. True, Lupin had never been violent or ridiculing like his friends, but he had never been nice, either.

"What are you doing?" Severus narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"I'm trying to save your life," Lupin said, sighing and tugging on his arm. "Come on, we have to get out of here."

"Why are you trying to save me?" Severus stood stubbornly still.

"Can't we talk about this later?" Lupin glanced nervously around, keeping as far from the heat of the flames as possible.

"No."

What did Severus care if he and Lupin got burned to a crisp? He certainly didn't enjoy life here and neither, he realized, did Lupin. It was best to burn up rather than suffer being set up by the four boys. Lupin didn't exactly strike him as the type to help with something like that, but he did hang out with Black and Potter, didn't he?

"Tell me why you want to help me."

Lupin sighed and looked despairingly around. Much longer and the flames would be chewing at their toes. Severus agreed with Lupin's expression, that it didn't sound like a very comfortable experience, but this was more important. Wasn't it? Of course it was. It had to be.

Lupin mumbled something under his breath, staring at the toes of his shoes where Severus was sure the fire would be soon. The air around them seemed to be getting strangely thin and yet think. It was a bit difficult to breathe, and smoke was infiltrating their lungs. Somehow, both boys had managed to keep from coughing so far.

"What was that, Lupin?"

"I said," the boy looked up, brown hair falling over his right eye. "That I don't know why I want to help you."

"I don't need your pity," Severus snarled, turning to look at the approaching fire. So close.

"Pity?" Lupin sounded puzzled and, indeed, when Severus turned around he looked as he sounded. "I never said anything-"

"You don't have to say it," Severus snapped impatiently. "It's obvious."

"But I don't pity you," he scowled at Severus' snort. "I don't need to pity you, because I know that you can take care of yourself. I just don't want you to get burned alive. Did you ever think that maybe I was just trying to be nice to you? Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, I didn't want to see you, or anyone else, be burned alive? Either way, you're coming out of here with me. Willing or not."

Severus studied Lupin a moment, his eyes scanning a delicate jaw, full lips with a glint of ivory white behind them, high cheekbones, strangely attractive tufts of hair just above curving ears, long eyelashes, and, finally, soft brown eyes. He scowled and looked around. The fire was less than a foot away now, and the air was becomnig unbearbly smoky. He was surprised Lupin had allowed the conversation to last so long. And why hadn't anyone come to get them yet? He coughed harshly, unable to stop it and immediately feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Really, now Lupin, this isn't the time nor the place to be discussing such things," Severus said, watching Lupin's expression avidly. "I don't know why you insisted we be here for it. I suggest we get out of here before we suffocate or become the dust in the air that suffocates."

Severus struggled to keep from grinning as Lupin's jaw dropped. He raised an eyebrow teasingly, his lips twitching the slightest bit when Lupin broke into an exultant grin. He followed placidly behind the lithe body before him. The flames were hot, but he didn't even notice. Was this what it was like to have a friend?

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A/N: There it is! I've finally finished, and hopefully everyone will enjoy it. Let's see if I still have time to upload it!

deathdeath: I believe I've read all but one, maybe two, of the books... I recently read the first and second, but the third one is proving hard to get from a library... Thanks for the review!

hipa: Thanks! I wanted to start the story out strongly, and it seems as if I did just that.

tall oaks: Yeah, I'm not really sure about the ages of everyone in the books.. But having Lucius a year older is convenient. He's old enough to look up to, but not so much older that there's nothing in common between the two. Thanks for the great review.

shewhodares: Thanks for the review! I happen to like SS/RL very much. Hopefully this wasn't updated too late!

REVIEW PLEASE.