If you don't like it then don't read it… simple enough 4 ya?? If not

a dumbass and should be shot…

Chapter 5

Messing around

Kagome watched the streets go by thinking about her despondent life. She moved positions so she had a better view of the palm trees as they went by, one after the other, never ending. Each passing tree brought a new sense of dread to the young girl. She had everything money, looks, any guy she wanted, I mean what else is there? Yet she felt somewhat unfulfilled and depressed. 'Why?' she thought. Thoughts of her unhappiness consumed her every moment. Even when asleep all her dreams seemed to originate from the same hollow place inside her.

 She was immensely grateful to Sango, if the girl hadn't been there to comfort Kagome while she wallowed in self-pity she probably would have slit her wrists and ended her pitiful life long ago. With Sango there to distract her, if only for a moment she was free of all thought and just accepted being.

Sango was a good as a sister, if not better to Kagome. When she felt down Sango was there to pick her back up again and to remind her that everything was all right, even if it was far from the truth. Kagome lifted her head off her hand and turned it to look at Sango. The older girl turned slightly and gave a small smile. " We're nearly there," she said cheerfully.

Kagome nodded but her gaze still lingered. Sango was very different to Kagome. It made her wonder why they were such good friends. Sango had a short leash on her temper and was pretty much open about how she felt about a person, while Kagome preferred not to vent her anger at all, just kept it inside and was always polite and nice to people no matter how she felt about them.

Sometimes Kagome wished she could be more like Sango, then maybe she wouldn't be having these thoughts right now. Although the two girls differed greatly in personality their appearance was also very different. Kagome looked at Sango's familiar features and took the time to examine them more carefully.

Her long black hair was like silk as it flew freely in the wind behind her. Kagome took a stand of her own black hair examining it closely to see if it resembled anything close to silk. To her it all looked like a mop that had been treated so many times that it was likely to fall out at any second. Kagome gulped a bit then let go of the hair not wanting to put any unnecessary stress on it.

Her gaze moved to Sango's face where she could see slight hints of make-up.  Although Sango's personality gave the impression she was more of a tomboy than a prissy valley girl it was obvious she took pride in her appearance. It clearly showed in the clothes she wore that accentuated her every curve and the light make-up she applied to emphasise her natural beauty. Kagome frowned looking at her own reflection in the side view mirror. She knew she wasn't ugly but she wasn't stunning either. She rarely wore makeup unless it was a big occasion, she hated the unwanted attention of the make-up artists and if she tried putting the stuff on herself she ended up looking like the lockness monster.

She gave a slight smile at her last attempt to apply her own make-up. She had to call Sango up to her house and refused to come out her room until Sango had gotten all the stuff off. Now when she thought back on it, it was quite amusing but at the time she was utterly horrified. Especially when she discovered the stuff didn't come off, well not with out make-up remover but how was she supposed to know that? She laughed at the memories she had of Sango.

 They were probably the only good ones she had. The best memories where she felt the most love were with her friend rather then in her own house where she should have felt the most love. Kaede was a lovely lady and Kagome loved her dearly but she could never replace Kagome's real mother. Unfortunately the only memory of her real mother she could conjure up were the words she spoke every time before leaving to another country. They continuously echoed in Kagome's head, " Be good Kagome, look after your brother, don't go getting into the wrong crowd at school, make me proud Kagome," she put on a brave smile and faced the world with none of her regret or self loathing showing.

Maybe if she did what her mother said then everything would be all right.

But it wasn't, no matter how much she pretended that hollow void within herself would never be filled. Well not without some help, and she seriously doubted she would get it.

" Kagome you've been really quiet," commented Sango looking over to her friend with a worried expression. " Was it that skater boy because you know he annoyed me too?"

Kagome gave a small laugh " No it wasn't the skater boy. Actually I've just been thinking about everything,"

Sango tried to keep her eyes on the road but her eyes kept darting to Kagome in worry, " Are you alright?"

Kagome forced a smile, " Yeah I just feel… oh I don't know… incomplete?" she took a guess at the feeling she was trying to describe.

" Are you sure? I know a lot of rich girls who have lost their parents but they seem normal enough,"

" Are you calling me not normal?" questioned Kagome in mock offence. Sango looked over to her friend with a cheeky grin. She gave Kagome a light punch saying,

" You know what I mean," Sango paused a bit before asking, " Are you sure there is nothing wrong. Like you're not going to try and kill yourself or anything?"

Sango didn't believe Kagome would ever attempt suicide but used it as an example. If only she had known how close to the truth she was.

" No of course not," said Kagome a bit nervous. Only once had she ever really considered suicide but she didn't have the guts. She got as far as the clean razor to the delicate skin in her wrist. It was then that she realized there was no point in such an act. What would death accomplish? She didn't believe in god or any 'outside' powers controlling the universe, it was just you and your decisions. She slowly lowered the razor from her wrist placing it in the sink and sank to the ground crying. Memory's swept over her making her face seem distant. Sango looked at her best friend and decided to leave her, thinking it would be best.   

Okay I know I'm making Kagome sound like a drama queen or unstable or sumthing going on about her despair all the time but it's essential to the plot… can you guess who's going to fill that void she keeps going on about… if you didn't guess Inuyasha then you either need to get a clue or your dumber than I give you credit for…