Chapter 4 Homesick

Looking back, telling this story to such a frail old woman made me see just how hard this had been on everyone, not just on me. Granted this is my story but the events that had taken place hadn't just affected me. They had affected my mother, the people from whom I might have been taken from too. As hard as it was for me to deal with all of it, it was equally difficult for them to deal with as well. I pause just long enough to look into the woman's eyes before going on again.

After the swab I had managed to convince Carter it was okay to let me go back to my apartment. I needed some space, some peace, and some quiet. This had all been too much for me. I put the kettle on the stove in my kitchen and stared into space out as I waited for the water to boil. My mind floated back to growing up with mom. Nothing seemed out of the normal for me. I knew many kids who had grown up with just one parent. Some of her friends either who had their dad not be a part of their lives or had a parent just walk out on them. It happened that my father was dead and I could not change it when I was growing up.

Now here in Chicago they were telling me something very different. That I had been taken from my parents as a baby had been taken from a family who loved me and wanted me. That was something that only happened in the movies, not in real life.

The kettle started to sing and I fixed my cup of tea. Hopefully, it would calm my shaken nerves. I sat down in my favorite chair and stared at the phone for a while. I picked up the receiver and dialed mother's number.

"Hello," I heard a voice on the other end of the line say.

"Hi mom." I answered back.

"How are you baby?" I heard mother ask.

"I'm fine mom, how are you doing?" I asked her.

"I'm doing well. How do you like Chicago?"

"It's cold here mom, and the wind seems to blow a lot more than what I am used to. I am really starting to miss the warmth of Texas." I replied.

I heard my mom chuckle. "I had a feeling that you would after being in the south so long."

"I'm sure that I will adjust to the cold soon." I said to her.

"You will baby. It can't be any colder there than it used to get here when you were little." I heard my mom say.

"Yeah I am sure that you are right, it's just different than what I was expecting."

"Baby what's wrong?" She asked.

"Oh nothing mom, I'm just a little homesick that's all." I said hoping that she would not be able to tell that I was lying.

"I see sweetie. You've never gotten homesick before." She pointed out.

I had to laugh. "Little do you know there mom. I got homesick in Texas; I just didn't have the time to do anything about it, since I was always so busy with my residency."

"I know that, but now you can come home with out all that pressure that you will be missing something important." She said.

"Well I'd love to be able to come home mom, but I don't think that I can ask for a vacation after only being there for 24 hours." I replied.

"Well then maybe you might just have to come home later. You know that I miss you."

"I could always fly you out here mom. You could come and visit me for a change. When was the last time that you took a vacation?" I asked her.

"I could but you know that I hate to fly," was my mother's simple response.

"Then take the train or come by greyhound." I smarted back.

"Oh sure Ketura," She heard her sarcastically remark back, "Would you take a train or the bus to travel that far?"

"No but then I'm not the one who hates to fly mom." I replied back to her smiling at the thought of my mother getting on a plane.

"Well then you are just going to have to wait and come and see me when you get the chance." She said.

"I miss you mom." I find myself saying to her now.

"I miss you too baby girl." I heard her say softly.

"Don't worry I'll come back home for a visit soon." I said not knowing if I would. It all depended on what she found out in the next 24 hours.

"I know you will sweetheart." She said, "I'll talk to you later, I have to be getting to work, you're not the only one who a hospital needs."

"Yeah I know mom, drive save and I will talk to you again soon." I said to her.

"Be safe baby." I heard her mom say ending the phone conversation.

I sat there staring out the window, not being able to make heads or tails of the situation that I found herself now in. This was something that just was not going to go away. I had not asked mom about it when I talked to her, but then I did not know how to ask my mother something like that. I did not know where to start and coming out and saying, mom did you steal me as a baby, did not seem like something she wanted to say to her.

I watched the darkness settle over Chicago and the street lights start to become brighter. I just did not feel like moving anymore. After what felt like an eternity of going over everything in my head, I heard the clock strike 10. I decided that I had better go in and try to get some sleep, not that I was going to be able to, but it beat sitting in the chair all night and waking up with some funny kink in my neck.