AN: Thanks for the reviews, they really motivate me, however I have ROTC which may make updates come on a weekly basis. Please review and give me some pointers. No Flames please!!!
Daniel was gonna kill Jack.
Jack had done a lot in their friendship to make him want to commit homicide, but this was the first time Daniel had gone so far as to plan where to stash the body.
This was all because, for some reason Daniel couldn't fathom, Jack had released the most evil creature ever encountered by mankind upon the unsuspecting archeologist.
Juliet.
The maniacal she-beast currently reorganizing his bookshelf.
At first, he had held the same impression of his new research assistant that everyone else had. She had seemed like a sweet, intelligent, and an all-together great person. When she greeted him in an ancient Egyptian dialect, he had thought that it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Then her pleasant demeanor had peeled back to show her true self.
She was a spy amongst the scientists, and who did she answer to?
His best friend.
She was a plant, a mole, a Mata Hari introduced into the ranks of archeologists for the sole purpose of disturbing his journey into the realm of historical discoveries.
She had only been here a day and she had already disrupted his office, his schedule AND most importantly, his caffeine intake.
She had already gone through almost all of his notes that had been scattered strategically around the room, and had put post-it notes on them, as well as stacked them in neat piles, on the floor, looking as if they were in the midst of the organizational process.
She was currently pulling off every book on his shelves, fondling every one of his sacred tomes and putting them back in a completely different order after dusting them.
Did she not know what she was doing to his allergies?
He was blowing his nose for the 14th time when a beeping sounded from her corner of the office.
Juliet spun on her precariously tall pumps after looking at her watch, grinning. "Time for lunch!"
"What?"
"Lunch, almuerzo, pranzo, déjeuner, gabelfruhstuck? Ringing a bell? It's that meal you eat about half-way through the day?"
"I know what lunch is," He grumbled "I don't think I'll be joining you."
"Not an option." She still had that annoying grin on her face.
"Pardon?"
"You didn't eat breakfast according to the commissary staff, and you haven't left the mountain in 2 days so don't bother telling me you ate at home. Coffee is not food, we are going to eat."
Was she spying on him?
"You can't just order me around." He said shocked at her audacity.
"According to General O'Neill I can."
"Yeah well Jack needs to learn a thing or two about limits."
"Look, your friends just want you to be okay."
"This isn't 'wanting me to be okay' this is hiring a woman to baby-sit me! This is ridiculous! I don't need you organizing MY books, or translating MY artifacts, or telling me when to eat!"
"Don't pout, its not becoming for a grown man if, in fact, that's what you are."
"Excuse me!?"
"When I got here this morning everyone from the Worf-wannabe who showed me to General O'Neill's office to the nurses in the infirmary said you were the nicest, sweetest, gentlest, bravest man on Earth. But ya know what? I think you're just a self-pitying child who can't take care of himself. Or is it that you just don't care what happens to you? Are you just so pitiful you don't want to take care of your self? I mean come on now, you just had a TANTRUM!"
"You can't talk to me that way, and you can't tell me what to do!" He shouted, losing all that was left of his composure. "I am NOT going to eat! I have work to do!"
"It sat on some planet for a couple hundred years, it can wait for a lunch break. Besides, if you don't come on your own free will, I will DRAG you down there, and STUFF the food down your throat."
"You wouldn't dare."
Within moments she had spun around, pulled something from her purse and slapped something metallic on his wrist.
Handcuffs.
They were wearing handcuffs.
She was nuts.
"I just did."
Daniel was gonna kill Jack.