Chapter 5 Holes in the floor, headed west

As I kept telling her the story, which really seemed at times unbelievable even to me and I was the one it had happened to. I find myself softly stroking her hand. Knowing that there in all likelihood she's not going to make it to the end. But I keep going on knowing that it's my voice that is keeping her company and relaxed. I am the one person right now who is keeping her from feeling alone.

Carter paced back and forth across the floor. He was waiting for that call letting them know that they had the test results. He had worked that morning. The day had flow by fast with nothing major just a lot of minor cases, which needed to be taken care of. He had stitch up a laceration that a man had given himself while trying to use an electric carving knife. The guy was lucky that he had not taken off his entire hand with the damn thing. John had not seen me at the hospital that day. He did not know why I had not been there; neither Kerry nor Susan had said anything to him about me not showing up for work. Maybe I was not scheduled to work today. Carter did not want to be nosy, but after we had parted last night he had been worried about me, and he hoped that I had not gotten on the first plane that headed west.

He thought that maybe he should have tried to find out where she was living, go over there, and check on her. He did not think that she would have appreciated him doing that though. So here, he was standing in the living room wearing a hole in his grandmother's Persian rug.

"John sit down please." Millicent said to her grandson.

Carter listened to her and sat in the chair next to his grandmother. His feet however didn't want to listen as his leg bounced up and down.

"Between you and your mother I don't think that I will have any carpet left in this house. She is just as nervous as you are about this." She said.

"Gamma, how can I not be nervous about this, she might be my sister?" He said.

"Whatever comes of this is going to come whether you are pacing back and forth or doing something productive with your time." She said patting her grandson's hand. "I finally sent your mother out shopping because she was driving me crazy with all her pacing. Here you have worked at the hospital all day and you're pacing my floors like you have nothing else to do."

"But I don't Gamma." Carter said looking up at her.

"Surely you could be spending time with Abby, take the woman out to a movie or to dinner. There are lots of things a young couple could be doing." Gamma said to him.

"What if they call with the results and I'm not here?"

"I know how to answer a phone John, and I also know how to use one. You never go anywhere with out your cell phone." She said smiling at him.

"I know Gamma." He couldn't settle his nerves now, something more than just this was going on but he was still trying to deal with all the uncertainty about this reading his sister's feeling was easier when she was right there.

"Well then go, you don't think that I is pacing her floors now do you?"

"No, but then I have no idea where she even is. She was not working today and I have not talked to her since yesterday when we left the hospital. I didn't think that she should spend the night at home alone, but she insisted that she needed some time to settle down. I shouldn't have left her alone; she probably caught the first plane west."

"John, it's not like someone has died." Gamma said to him, "of course she needed some down time with out anyone hovering over her. She had a lot that she needed to digest. I am sure that she is just fine with out you being there. No get out of here, go take Abby out on the town. I will call you if anything comes about."

"All right I'll go Gamma." Carter said standing up. "But you have to promise to call me if you hear anything."

"I will son." She said pushing Carter to go.

Carter headed out of the house, climbed into the jeep and headed off to find Abby. He did not want to go, but Gamma was right, he did need to get out for a little bit and who better to spend time with then Abby.

Meanwhile back at my apartment, I sat snuggled under a warm quilt. Tears still lined my face. The phone call that I had gotten that morning had broken my heart. My bags were packed and I was ready to catch the first flight back home. The first one that I could get was early the following morning. I had called Susan and explained what had happened. Susan was more than understanding and said that I still had my job when she got back in a couple of weeks.

I was definitely not ready for this, but then how could anyone be ready for something like this to happen especially when they were several states away. My mother had been my world. Now in the middle of everything this happened. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes again. I was going to have to pull myself together long enough to be in public to catch the flight and get home, then and only then could I break down again if I needed to. I hated to cry when people could see me.

I heard my phone ring; I reached over to answer it. "Hello." I said as I ran her hand across my eyes.

"How are you holding up?" It was Susan.

"I'm doing okay." I said, "I just wanted to thank you once more for giving me the time off and still having a job for me when I get back."

"It's the least I could do." Susan said. "If there is anything that I can do for you, give you a ride to the airport in the morning, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Thanks Susan, I appreciate that. My flight leaves at 6 am. I'd hate to ask you to take me that early in the morning when I could just catch a cab."

"Don't be silly. That is fine; I can drop you off and then still have time to get to work. Carter was asking about you today." She said.

"You didn't tell him anything did you?" I asked.

"No, Kerry and I didn't say anything to him about any of this. We thought it best if you told him if you wanted him to know." Susan said to me.

"Thanks I appreciate that. I will find the time to call him here shortly. I do not want him to think that I just turned tail and run, even though leaving is the last thing I thought that I would be doing right now, especially with a new job." I said.

"Look family emergencies come up. We all have them. I explained everything to Kerry and she understands too."

"I'm glad." I said, "It's nice to know that I am going to be working at a hospital with such an understanding staff."

"Is there anything else that you need?" Susan asked.

"Not that I can think of right now Susan." I replied between sniffles.

"Okay I will pick you up about four thirty then so that we can get you out there with a little bit of time to spare."

"That sounds good, thanks."

"Not a problem. I'll see you in the morning." Susan said.

"See you then." I said as she returned the phone to the cradle. I sat there in the silence still staring out the window, the box of Kleenex tucked safely in my lap. I did not know if I would be able to sleep at all that night or not. I also knew that I should probably call John but I closed her eyes and let the fatigue of the day take a hold and soon I was fast asleep.

I found myself breaking from telling the story again so that I could check on my patient again. For everything she was going thru right now she seemed to be holding on very well. I adjusted the flow of her oxygen and checked her IV bags one again. There was still that small hint of a smile across her old tired face. At least I was making a patient of mine happy.