Chapter Ten:

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!" Will grinned as he let himself inside my house and started to kiss me. I tried to get him to stop long enough for us to talk a little bit, but it was no use. I reached for his present and held it behind me, waiting for someone to take it. Jamie, still smiling whenever she saw us, was the one who did.

"Hello, Will." she said, as if she didn't notice that he had his hands buried in my hair again and was kissing me for dear life.

When Will heard her voice he immediately pulled away and stepped away, smiling sheepishly. "Hey, Jamie."

She smiled again and headed back towards the kitchen to put my present with the other group of presents for me. Will smiled after Jamie, but when he rounded the corner he came up close to me again and rubbed his fingers softly on my cheeks. "Eighteen years old today, eh?"

"Yes…" I said, dragging on the word as I looked around the room and bit my lip excitedly. I still felt strange that Will was my boyfriend. I loved everything about it, but it felt strange.

We stood in the hallway close together, whispering and discussing what we wanted to do. First we were going to have a small party with my mother and Jamie (my father was out with his friends), but afterwards Will wanted to take me out to see a drive-in movie, in which even he was surprised to hear I never went to before. I agreed that I would go, but I told him he had to let me talk to Jamie before I left.

"So, how is your aunt?" Jamie asked politely as we all sat down around the birthday dinner. Of course, even Will's aunt knew who Jamie was.

"She's great," he said. "She's really cool about me moving in." Jamie smiled, but my mother looked shocked.

"What do you mean?" she asked, putting down her fork as she usually did when she was shocked or upset by a certain conversation. I felt my face turn red as I avoided everyone's gaze. Will shifted in his chair.

"Well, a few weeks ago I started packing all my things so I could move in there…" he tried to explain.

"But what about your parents?"

I felt uncomfortable seeing Will uncomfortable. He never looked that way, and sometimes she thought it was impossible to make him nervous or unsettled. "I decided to move out because… well, I didn't think that they had a very good environment around them…" He looked across the table at Jamie.

I, of course, knew all about this. Ever since April, all three of us became a very tight group, which no one would have expected. We all admitted things to each other that we thought we'd never let out into the open, and now we were helping Will get his life together. Although, there was a part of this between Jamie and I that Will didn't know about, and I was starting to feel a little guilty.

"Jamie, I'm thinking about telling him about our thoughts on our date." I said to her nervously in my room as Will waited for me downstairs. Jamie nodded.

"I think that is fine." she said, smiling her usual smile of hope.

"I just… I don't know how to explain it…"

"How would you explain it to me?" Jamie sat on my bed and stared up at me, waiting. "He doesn't have all night, you know." I saw her wink, and I almost laughed. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.

I sucked in a breath and exhaled. "Well, to you I would say that I've been thinking something is missing. Not just thinking, but feeling. I feel that there's something left that we must do, that we're not doing."

"That sounds wonderful," Jamie said, clapping her hands in delight. 'Maybe if you talk to him about it, you'll figure out what it is."

I don't know how she knew, but she was right. Jamie was right about everything. Will and I sat in the car together, and a half hour after Will put his arm around me and started to kiss me, I let it out.

"Missing? What could possibly be missing?" he said, leaning his head against mine while staring at the movie screen. "I feel that I have all the treasures in the world now." He smiled to himself, and then at me.

I didn't smile. I sat next to him and thought, suddenly not understand what I was trying to say. If he felt that he completed his mission in life, then why did I feel like something was missing?

Will saw my expression and turned me toward him. "Is something bothering you?" he held my hands between his. "Do you need something?"

After a few minutes that felt like hours, I nodded. "Maybe I do…"

He looked at me curiously. "What do you think it is?" I stared at him, unable to give him an answer. I had him, after years of wanting him; I had Jamie, after years of not having a single friend in the world; I had a little hope, after years of doubting myself.

"I want to feel complete." I finally said. I watched in despair as he suddenly looked disappointed, and he leaned back.

"You don't feel complete?" he didn't say what he really meant, but I knew it all the same. I could see it in his eyes. All I knew was, I didn't want him to think that way. I moved around until he was able to hold me in both of his arms, and then I hoped that he would. I hoped he didn't feel too upset to push me away. Luckily, he wasn't, and I felt warm as he hugged his arms around me.

"It's not about you," I said truthfully. "Remember when we were talking about me having no self confidence? I think that has something to do with it."

"I thought you were doing well with that." he said, sounding confused. I sighed and tried to explain.

"Last week I had to give a speech in my class and I was so nervous that I was shaking and my voice was too low. I thought no one would like my speech." I lowered my eyes in dismay.

"I'm sure they would have liked it."

"They all laughed at me."

He was silent for a while, and I listened to the movie instead. I couldn't stand the silence. Finally, Will took hold of my hands again, and touched my ring. "I know that you are an amazing person beneath all that shame- other people just don't see that, because you don't let them."

"How do I let them?" I asked so softly, that for a moment I didn't think he heard me. We sat there, cheek to cheek, staring at the movie for the rest of the time we spent there. After a while I started to fall asleep, but I found myself thinking about the Christmas play drawing near. I can't believe this all started almost a year ago…

My eyes started to droop, and I imagined the scene where I saw Will in the back row near the doors again. I tried to picture what I looked up there, but as I did I got an idea. A brilliant idea. I sat bolt right up so fast that Will thought something was wrong. He clung onto me, just in case. "What is it? What happened?"

"Hey, the movie is over?" I asked, suddenly distracted. When I saw Will's expression, I shook off the question. "I have an idea…"

"I think this is what God wanted us to do, Jamie." I said excitedly after I called Jamie.

"What is it?" she asked patiently, though I knew she was dying to know. Slowly, I sucked in a breath and then let it go. I bit my tongue as I tried to build up my courage. Finally, I said it out loud.

"I think Will and I should be the stars of the play this year." There was a sudden silence, but I knew Jamie must have been smiling. I could almost picture her. Finally, I heard her whisper.

"All part of the Lord's plan."