AN: In my story Janet never died. I don't think her death ever served any purpose except making all her fans feel like utter crap, so in my story he is alive and kicking. Please keep reviewing, it makes me want to update when I see people are still reading.

They called it the war of level 18.

No one could quite pin down the exact moment that things had elevated to all out war fare, but level 18 was a combat zone.

Mearly 2 months before, Dr. Jackson's office was know as a sanctuary for silent scholarly work, only disturbed by attacks by the occasional Goa'uld or bored Jack O'Neill.

It was silent no longer.

Within several yards of the source of most of the Earth's most critical, historical discoveries of the last 100 years, you could hear the shouting. Most of the time however it wasn't so much shouting as an ear shattering screeching and screaming that penetrated even the most sound proof parts of the base.

There was name-calling, insults, pranks of the most vicious kind, and occasionally in VERY extreme cases, attempted acts of physical violence.

There was now a permanent posting of marines on the once military-less level of science and research. They were called upon if ever there was a repeat of the 'Prada Incident', as it was known around the base.

The 'Prada Incident' was in all actuality the fault of various parties on base, but had in the investigation that followed, divided the base's occupants into two opposing sides with each group blaming the other.

Juliet, as a civilian who did not go off-world, was not required to wear a uniform of any kind. Because of this she wore a wide variety of office apparel, in brand names that were up to her level of style.

This meant Versace, Ralph Lauren, Ann Taylor, Gucci, and her personal favorite—Prada.

Daniel, or 'Dr.J' as Juliet called him, in his desperate attempt to keep up his normal caffeine levels in his blood stream, since Juliet had cut him off from most other sources of the blessed stimulant, had imported chocolate. From Belgium.

This meant that his top desk drawer was a no-touch zone.

In the days that followed those that sided with Dr. J would say that 'Miss Juliet', as the marines called her, had initiated the conflict with her trespass. Those that sided with Miss Juliet would counter with the fact that Dr. J had blatantly crossed the line with his counter-attack.

After Daniel discovered that Juliet had 'confiscated' his chocolate ambrosia he was filled with a fury he hadn't felt in a very long time.

Juliet was only 5'2" and with his—decaf of all things—coffee being at about waist level the scalding amber liquid didn't have far to travel to destroy her most precious of shoes.

Her three inch Prada Pumps with the limited edition canary yellow sequin in the center.

They were permanently stained with no hope for resurrection from their untimely demise.

She then proceeded to attempt to choke the life from him.

A passerby called for security and the proper authorities were called in. Namely Jack who found the whole situation hilarious.

The Female population of the SGC however, did not. The affront to the Pradas was taken quite seriously by the ladies of the base including Sam Carter who decided then and there that she and Juliet Chase were gonna be best buddies. Sam did not speak with Daniel for two weeks.

Things hadn't escalated to quite that level of violence since, but still.

There was a tension.

And on level 18 there was an audible hostility.

It was this kind of evidence that made Daniel wonder, did no one else see what an evil person she really was?

No, everyone else thought that Juliet was just an angel. The marines adored her, Teal'c ate breakfast with her every day and sparred with her before she started to work each day, Sam and Janet went shopping with her and she and Jack could be found laughing about the previous nights 'Simpsons'.

How did they not see?

"I hate my life." Daniel groned

"I hate your life too." Juliet said perkily as she walked in, then paused "wait, don't you actually need a life in the first place to hate it?"

"You're late, oh bane of my existence, why is that?" Daniel said glancing at the wall clock then grabbing one of the steaming Styrofoam cups out of her hand.

"First of all, if your gonna insult me, you shouldn't call me something that I'd be proud of. Second, I was talking with Sam, seems they found a planet and sent a MALP through." She took a sip from her own cup "Looks like there is a temple or some other kind of place with loads of stuff that's gonna end up as paperwork on my desk."

"Did she say whether or not SG-1 is taking this one?"

"Uh Duh?" She looked incredulously up from a file she was reading at her desk "Why else would she have brought it up? To make me green with envy over all the cataloguing that Carl is going to do? Of course SG-1 is taking it."

Carl was of course Lieutenant Carl Bishop, the young man in charge of labeling and cataloguing all the artifacts that SG-11 brought back before they got to Daniel and Juliet.

"Which of course means that you will go off into the wild blue yonder, have some grand adventure and leave me behind to file and translate."

Daniel sighed, here came what he had named 'The Subject'. The Subject was Juliet's biggest peeve, the fact that Daniel always left her behind when he went through the 'gate, even when there was no danger.

The Subject was the cause of most of their biggest fights lately, and her bringing it up this early in the day only meant that what had started as a pleasant morning (for them) was not going to be a good day.

"Look, you've never had any 'gate experience and if you're this lovely tempered when you are perfectly healthy, I'd hate to have to deal with you when you're injured."

Or deal with her more than he was already required to.

"How, pray tell, am I supposed to GET 'gate experience if I can't actually go through the 'gate?" Her lips were a thin line and she spoke with gritted teeth.

"Jack doesn't want anyone out there without the proper training."

"That's funny cause I already talked to the general and HE said that it was fine with him as long as there was no immediate danger. But you," she said fairly radiating anger now "just don't want to share the spotlight!"

"That," He spun "is crap! I don't care about any spotlight, YOU on the other hand are just desperate for attention!"

She rose from her chair so fast is spun backwards and crashed into the wall. " Desperately bored is more like it! You coop me up in here and make me file like I'm some goddamn secretary! I am an archeologist! I may not be a Ph.D. but I am sure as hell not some grad student with too much time on her hands! I know the FIELD not just an OFFICE! And if it kills me I am going out there!"

"It probably WILL kill you! You have no idea what you're doing! You have no idea how dangerous it is out there! You are an idiot if you think we just go out there and prance around the galaxy looking for artifacts!"

"I don't think the guy auditioning for the resurrection scene of 'Passion of the Christ' really has room to talk about doing stupid things that could kill you!"

She knew that remark about his many deaths would piss him off.

"Screw you." He growled.

"You wish." She hissed.

"Manipulative Ice Queen." He was now only feet from her.

"Self-pitying Child" Her hands were on her hips.

"Whiny Valley Girl!" He was looking down at her tiny form, only inches from his own much larger one and shouting.

"Pathetic Excuse for a Grown Man!" Her chin rose defiantly as did her voice.

"Self-absorbed Airhead!" He was practically screaming now.

"Ass-whole!" She screeched right back.

"Bit—ca" He faltered.

"Say it." She sneered.

"You are a manipulative two-timing bitch." He said very carefully and deliberately.

She hissed. "I. Quit." And she turned on her ridiculously high-heeled shoes.

When she left he collapsed in his chair and waited for round two.

…

She would walk back in any minute now.

…

What the hell?

He looked over at her desk.

Oh Shit.

She took her purse.

He raced out the door so fast that the chair spun for full two minutes after he left.

He had to stop her.