She heard someone at the door, but decided not to answer it. Long before she had finished her tea and took to her bed which offered some warmth and was a place she could just lay there and let her emotions go. Knocking; she finally got up to see who it was, wiping her tearful eyes on her sleeve as she walked towards the door. She unlocked the door, but kept the chain latched and then slowly opened it.

It was the exact person she had been hoping that she wouldn't have to see until next shift, but there he was now, standing in her door way; Grissom. Instead of greeting him, she shut the door and locked it then retreated back to the kitchen to get something to drink.

"Sara," he said sternly and loudly, "We-I…"

How is it so hard for him to talk? Why is he afraid? I've known him for years and all he does is push me away. What have I done to deserve being abused like this? She wondered.

She heard her friend walk down the hallway of the apartments and she heard something slip underneath the door; a folded piece of paper. Picking it up, she read its contents:

Sara,

I'm sorry.
Grissom

But what did it mean? What was he sorry for? Was he sorry for all that he had done to her or was he sorry that he thinks a relationship could never work between them? Gil Grissom; would he always remain a mystery?

She took the note and folded it back up and then placed it on the counter. It was happening again; her heart was telling her to forgive Grissom, but her intellect was telling her that Grissom had damaged her enough and that it was time to move on. Sara couldn't decide yet, which of her own advice to follow. Maybe she couldn't plan out her personal life in a day planner look somewhere to know what exactly comes next. There are too many twists and turns in life for everything to work out how you want it to. She was just realizing this now. She was also realizing that she had to take care of things herself; she couldn't just wait there and see if Grissom will ever come around and tell her how she feels.

But didn't he already tell her how he feels? Didn't he say explicitly that there was no "Us?" Didn't that mean that he didn't return her feelings or was it really just that he was too afraid to admit anything?

She'd have to think about it later; she had exactly one hour until next shift and she tried her best to never be late. After a quick shower, she dressed and headed out to her car, where she found another note taped to her window.

Sara,

I'm not sure how to say exactly what I'm thinking. This is another reason why I'm like this. Life is so unpredictable and science proves to be no help in solving all of my questions. Can we talk in my office?

Grissom

Is that his reasoning? Life is unpredictable so he can't decide whether he loves her or not? What kind of answer is that? Sure, life was unpredictable, but hadn't she had to cope with it since she was a child. No, she hadn't found answers to all of her questions, but she had managed to get buy and to live her life. What was Grissom but an empty shell who knew not how to live life for whatever it may give you. Is that all he is; an empty shell?

The drive to the lab was short and on most days that was fine, but today she wished there was something to keep her from getting there so early. However, she couldn't delay the moment when she would have to face Grissom again much longer and after setting down her stuff, she walked quietly to his office.

He was performing some experiment and mustn't have heard her come in for he did not look up. Silently, she stood in the doorway, watching him work. He was a robot; everything he did seemed to be programmed precisely and there were few mistakes. The room was silent, save for the scratch of Gil Grissom's pen on the paper as he took notes. Finally, Sara strode further into the room and Grissom noticed her presence.

"Hey," Sara said, in a sort of shy way.

He already seemed lost in her presence and didn't answer for some while, "Hi, I have something for you." From a drawer, he pulled out a book and handed it to her. Sara was not surprised, it was an entomology book.

"What's this for?" Sara asked, confused.

He didn't answer, but the book did. She opened it up and saw a message in his handwriting.

Sara,

Please forgive me for all that I've put you through. I always thought you were beautiful, but then again, I always thought how young you were with a wonderful life ahead of you and that you shouldn't be wasting your life on me. All those times I pushed you away, I was also pushing myself away from the happiness I knew that we could have.

Grissom

Sara was utterly shocked and looked back at him, speechless. He thinks I'm beautiful and he loves me? What is this, a joke? I bet Catherine made him write that to her. It was all some kind of joke and the rest of the team was going to jump out from behind the desk and go "Haha, you believed it, didn't you!?" That was always how it turned out in her dreams. Was this just another dream? Was the same thing about to happen?

"I understand if you're angry with me," Grissom said and then went back to typing up something on the computer.

After a few more moments of silence, Sara spoke, "I'm not angry; not anymore."

He looked up at her and said, "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

"I guess I was always yours," Sara said and smiled.

…The end…

He looked up at her and said, "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

-That little quote, I found on … it's by Anon

Hope you liked my story. Thanks for reviews… D