.. Not a single review. It distresses me, really. ( Yeah, I'm in my immature mood right now. Yeah, and I'm also annoyed, though I don't know why. -sigh- Maybe it's because my computer is crapping up on me. I don't know. Sorry I took so long. oo Been so... busy, strange as it sounds to meh ears.

Whoops, edit;; Got one review. :) Thanks.

I guess I can say that there is fluff here. He he.. And shall we remember the cursing?

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and such all belongs solely to J.K. Rowling. Not a thing belongs to me except for Morgan, and Raven belong to my loverly friend Fox. :)

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Chapter Six
Painful Memories

"Harry?"

I jerked around, only to see the plump form of Neville Longbottom. "Hey Neville." I said in a relieved tone, panting heavily. I glanced up at him and frowned as he stared at me. "What?!" I finally burst out, impatient with the staring and silence. Neville shook his head and muttered,"Never mind."

I raised an eyebrow as he left the room, and I wondered what time it was. Glancing out at the open window, I pushed the red curtains aside to have milky moonlight spill over my face. Sighing, I sat down at the window seat, gazing out at the glistening waters of the lake. The illuminating stars twinkled gently in the night sky, and I thoughts whirled through my head.

What ever happened to Morgan? Weren't she and Lupin together? And Raven? Sirius obviously liked her, but then again, there was no knowing. I felt my head drop into my hands, and I let out sigh. I want to know. The truth. I wanted answers.

A loud grumbling resounded, and I looked down and realized how ravenous I was. Shaking my head, I fell down before my suitcase and prayed that I still had a few sweets from Honeydukes'. Finding a packet of chocolates, I ripped it open and stuffed my mouth hungrily.

Footsteps neared the door, and I halted, waiting in tense silence to see who was coming up. The door slowly opened, I recognized the person to be Ron. I grinned at him, but I just got an angry glare in return. "Umm.." I started but I was cut off by the angry voice of Ron.

"Shut up Harry. I don't want to hear your lame excuses anymore." Tense silence followed Ron's outbreak, and I stared guiltily at the floor. "Look, Ron, I'm" Ron cut me off once more with a sad shake of his head.

"I can't believe you Harry. I can't except your apology, I just can't! Not after what I've always had to do. Live in your shadow, always be cluelessly thick. Yeah, you probably loved me like that, didn't you? I was your puppy dog, and you just used me!" Ron was shouting now, and I stared at him, disbelief all over my face.

"Is that what you think?" I whispered, my voice hoarse. "That I just use you? I value your friendship above everyone else's! You are probably the only one-"

"Don't give me that bullshit! You value my friendship, eh? Where have you been the past couple days? You probably don't know what's even been happening at school, your so thick in the head!" I stood up, my anger on the brink of explosion.

"Yeah, you know, if I was so thick in the head, I probably never could've done all those things! You remember don't you? Hmm, let's see." I said, sarcasm dripping all over my voice. "Ah, yes, I remember! There was the Sorcerer's stone in out first year, then the Basilisk, then Peter, then the rising of Voldemort, and then, Sirius dying!" I hollered. Ron stared at me, shaking his head.

"And if you don't remember, it was your bloody rat that caused Voldemort's rising! Oh, and it was your sister in the Chamber of Secrets! And it was your father I saw getting attacked last year!" I screamed all this, fury pulsating throughout my body. Glaring, I turned on my heel, stalking out the room as the bag of sweets fell to the floor with a thud.

I hurried down the stairs, and I heard someone calling me as I ran out the Common Room. Not caring to see who it was, I stalked angrily throughout the corridors. My body was hot with anger, and I came to a stop in a dimly lit corridor. Leaning against the stone wall, I closed my eyes as a wave of anguish washed over me.

"What have I done?" I moaned, tears stinging at my eyes. Guilt pounded in my stomach, and my heart rampaged wildly from my fast pacing. I felt myself slide down to the floor just as I felt yet another wave of emotion.

Hate.

Hate for myself. I had turned into something horrible. As the tears slid down my cheeks, I felt a shadow fall over me, and a petite figure crouch down before me, putting a soft hand to wipe the tears away from my face. Looking up, The hovering candles shifted slightly, spilling an orange glow over the face of what I felt was my rescuer.

Ginny Weasley.

My head hung as she moved her hand away. "Harry.." she whispered quietly. Even more guilt crashed against my insides, as if it were the thunderous waves of the ocean. I glanced at her, and she placed her hands on my forearms, pulling me to my feet gently. "It's okay." she said, her haunting yet calming voice said. My gaze fell over her and I soon felt the guilt melt away into a faint gnawing. Her doe brown eyes seemed to gaze at me in an understanding, and her touch left me wanting more. "Ginny..." I said quietly. She looked up at me, and the smile on her face faded slightly.

"Yes Harry?"

"Say it again." I said, my eyes slipping to a close. "What?" "Say my name again."

Without hesitation, she complied, and I relished the word rolling off her tongue. Before I knew it, I opened my eyes and found myself drowning inside her. Dipping my head down, I brushed my lips against hers, my arms slipping down to her waist. Ginny melted against me, and her arms wrapped around the nape of my neck, causing shivers to tremor throughout my body. My tongue soon began to yearn to enter her mouth, and her lips parted slightly. Her fingers began to comb through my hair, and I pulled her closer, as if never wanting to let her go. My tongue laced inside her mouth, and as I felt my breaths falling away, I pulled away gently. Ginny shook her head and grinned at me.

"That was rather... Surprising?" she prompted. I let out a laugh, and grinned at her. "Very." I replied. Ginny smiled slipped her hand in mine. I was caught with just how right it felt. My body was warm, and I found myself walking back to the Common Room with Ginny.

"Harry?"

I glanced at Ginny and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?" Ginny glanced back at me, and then took a deep breath. "Are you alright? I mean, you've been really strange lately." She winced as if preparing for me to blow at her. I bit my lip, and looked at her as we came to a stop before the Portrait of the Fat Lady.

"It's just.. I've been caught up in a lot of things." Ginny turned and stared at me. "Normally you, Ron, and 'Mione are always together. And lately, well, you guys have been drifting apart." I looked at her like,'What!?' Ginny sighed and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'd bet if you paid more attention to your friends, you'd notice that they're suffering in many ways a lot like you."

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I lay in my bed, gazing at the ceiling, wondering what the hell was wrong. I didn't feel right. I didn't feel.. good or kind, or anything. Ginny's words played over and over in my mind, and I bit my lip as I understood the truth in them.

I was a terrible person. I was a terrible wizard. I was a terrible friend.

And just knowing what I was made it worse.

The snores of the others rang in my ears. I turned on my side, and my emerald gaze fell on Ron. He was sleeping comfortably, and my heart plummeted as I watched him. I probably lost him as a best friend. I had ruined our friendship... And Hermione... I never talked to her anymore.. And to make it worse, she had to spend hours with Malfoy. Who knew what torment she was going through? I truly had messed things up... And things were probably never going to be the same.

Sighing, I pulled myself under my blanket, praying for sleep to come to me. I would try my hardest to fix things.

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"Hermione!"

A tawny head turned around, and concern filled me at the fear she hid in her golden eyes. "Harry?" She said timidly. I raised an eyebrow then rested a hand on her shoulder gently. "Are you all right 'Mione?" I asked, peering into her eyes. Even more fright filled her, and she tried her hardest to hide it. "No." She said, almost hastily. She pulled her book bag higher onto her shoulder, biting her lip in worry.

I kept my arm on her shoulder, then straightened, nodding. I never noticed how much taller I was than her before. I shook my shoulders slightly and grinned at her. Her fright slipped away, and a timid smile crossed her face.

We were both in a corridors. Not many students were out, as it was the weekend, but I knew better than to assume Hermione was taking a break. "Where are you off to?" I asked, jovially, just as we started making our way through the corridor. Hermione tensed slightly, and I once more notices the hesitation.

"I have to tutor Draco in the Library..." She said softly, her eyes cast to the floor. I bit back the angry words that threatened to roll off my tongue. "He hasn't... hurt you.. in anyway, has he?" I asked cautiously. Hermione cast a horrified look at me. "No! Of course not! I mean, the occasional name calling, but nothing much.. He he.." I couldn't pretend not to notice her nervousness now.

"Hermione, you're not telling me something." I said as I took her hand, indicating her to stop. Hermione's eyes hardened, and tears gathered. "Let go of me. You're the one not telling me or Ron anything!" She spat, in anger. I kept my grip on her wrist. "What?"

"You've been ignoring us for weeks! You don't know what the hell's been going on, and frankly, it ticks me off. I know for a fact that Ron feels hurt and abused by your... dam-" She broke off, pulling free from my grasp. Her glare deepened, and she raised a hand, as if to punch me. I instantly drew back, remembering Draco in our third year, but she just shook her fist angrily.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I snapped, my anger rising. Hermione glowered at me, and for I second I saw through her hardened shell to see a broken girl. Realization hit me.

"Draco did something to you, didn't he?!" I gasped, in shock. Hermione's glower turned to an expression disgust and hate. "No...." She finally whispered quietly. "It's my family." Her voice was breaking, and as she stood there, I saw how frail and.. broken she looked.

"'Mione, what happened?" I asked hoarsely, taking a step forward. She instantly took a step back.

"My mum died. After she remarried." Tears were spilling freely down her face, and my jaw dropped. Hermione stared at me a second longer, then ran off. I stared after her, in shock.

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Her mother died. Leaving her with someone Hermione barely knew.

And I felt worse than ever.

I was the worst person on earth. The last remnants of my heart were crumbling, it seemed, before my eyes. The last things I held dear to me- all slowly dissipating into air. Tears clouded my vision, and I fell to the lush grass, sobs escaping me. The gray sky rumbled, the dark clouds hovering hauntingly over the castle grounds.

The book was taking a hold of my life. It was slowly taking away the last things I needed to live, to survive.

Taking in a shaky breath, I put a hand in my pocket, taking out the tiny book. I traced the cover, feeling the ocean of sadness in me flood over. Letting out a sigh, I took out my wand. "Accio quill." Minutes later, my bottle green quill fell into my fingers. I let out a sigh of content, letting my feelings and worries escape me for moments.

I reached in my pocket, surprised to feel the small, glass bottle against my fingers. I drew it out, uncorking the small bottle of blood. Dipping the quill into the crimson liquid, I let a drop fall onto the book. A second later, my mother's excited scrawl met mine...

But wait... It wasn't mum's writing. No, it was more liquidy, more calligraphric. My breath caught in my throat as I came to the face of Morgan.

Morgan stared at me sadly. "You must be Harry." She said, and her haunting voice chilled my bones. I stared at her.

Morgan didn't look much different. The same, smoky blue eyes.. Her sandy brown hair, only the waves ended at her neck... Her same, pale, disposition. I stared at her, in awe. And a thought hit me- Why wasn't she with Remus?

Morgan had tears in her eyes. "Just take my hand. I cannot linger her... For I am but a memory, holding yet another unseen memory." Morgan's hand was reaching out, and as I stared at it, I noticed the many scars that lined their way up her arm. I let out a gasp, drawing my hand out of my pocket to trace the scars, but Morgan caught my hand firmly, pulling me in.

I expected to enter a the room where my mother had pulled me into- but no, this time I was pulled straight to the memory.

Thunder rumbled outside, and I stood in an empty common room. Rain splattered loudly against the stone castle, and I suddenly noticed a hunched figure by a desk, crying softly. I furrowed my eyebrows, and stepped in front of the crying person.

My eyes widened when I saw that it was Morgan- and boy did she look like a mess. Her hair was thick with knots, hanging halfway down her back, and her eyes were red and puffy. There were various bruises on her face, and she was clad in worn-out clothes. Her hand held a dark quill, and her tears were falling onto a book of red.

A book of red? The diary!

Was she writing the memory then? I wasn't sure, as she closed the book and reached into a bag beside her, pulling out a fresh parchment, her tears sprinkling upon the yellowed paper like falling rain.

She began to write furiously, and my breath caught in my throat as I read over her shoulder.


Dear Remus and the others,

I'm sorry for my sudden disappearance. I have no choice but to leave. If I could tell you details, I would, but I can't. I fear for you, and hold you all dear to me. I cannot bear to lose the last thing in my life worth living for.

Lily- I pray you won't make a fatal mistake in your life. I know you love him- go for it.

Raven- Despite what you think, he loves you. Trust him, and maybe he'll value your trust and friendship even more.

James & Sirius- I know we were never on the best of terms. But you two will forever be in my heart- as the two rascals who made my life amusing.

And Remus... I pray you'll forget me, and forget all the cruelty this world has given you. I just wish I didn't have to be so cruel either. Never forget that love still lingers in this world.

Forever yours,
Morgan Fanei

Morgan was leaving? Why the hell was she leaving? She loved Remus... He loved her! My heart was pounding as I watched, but the memory suddenly dissipated and I fell inside a small home. I let out a yell as my head started to pound. Searing pain entered me, and I felt like my head was being ripped from my body. The pain soon cleared away, and all my vision was white with the lingering pain.

Suddenly, I remembered where I was.

It was my home... The pale, rose pink walls... The dark oak furniture bearing pieces of artifacts, decorations, china. I was in the living room. It was elaborate, with two fine couches and a pale red rug. There were hovering candles instead of lamps, and in the center of the room sat a family.

My family.

I let out choked gasp, and stared. My father sat beside my mother, and both were tense, as if waiting with an unknown fear. A crawling toddler, about one year in age, sat upon the floor, playing with blocks, smiling and calling for my parents' attention.

I was filled with awe. Here I was, staring at myself- when I was one.

A storm raged out the windows, and I watched in a sad happiness. I smiled as the baby version of myself jumped, with every sound of thunder that roared. But suddenly, a loud crack resounded outdoors, and it was even louder than the thunder itself.

Dad stood up immediately, and he gestured at Mum to grab me. He slowly took out his wand, creeping to the door as Lily grabbed me, running from the room. I stood, in shock, wondering what to do. A strange feeling entered me, and it took me a while to recognize it.

It was fear.

My breath caught in my throat as the door blasted open. A loud cackle sounded as my father fell to the floor. His black spectacles were knocked from his face, and he scrambled to get them.

I stared at the door as a dark, cloaked figure entered. The hooded figure looked up, and I stared in plain fear as I saw those same, slitted, red eyes. Glowing with hate, jeering with pleasure.

Waiting hungrily for his prey.

Lord Voldemort entered the home, snickering at the disheveled James Potter. My father stood up, his wand pointed steadily at him.

"I will." He whispered, pure hate edged inside his tone. Voldemort let out a laugh, a cold, ruthless laugh. His bright eyes gazed in amusement at my father.

"You can't, Potter. And you never will.." came his low, hissing voice. James glared at him, and opened his mouth to speak, but he was halted as Voldemort whipped out his wand, yelling,"Crucio!"

My father fell to the ground, writhing. His mouth was clamped shut, but tears poured freely down his face as he tried to withstand the pain. Anger ballooned inside me, and I threw myself at Voldemort. "DAMN IT!" I cursed, in plain fury.

I turned myself to look at my father, with Voldemort standing over him, his wand at James's temple. "I must say, James, I expected more of a fight with you..." He drawled silently.

James stared at Voldemort, opening his mouth. "Run Lily!" He hollered, at the top of his voice. Voldemort let out an outraged cry,"Avada Kedavra!"

A flash of green light surrounded the room, exploding loudly. I let out a yell, tears pouring down my face. I couldn't bear it... No.. I couldn't. Letting out a choked sob, I stumbled to my feet, running in the direction that my mum and myself had run to.

I found them in a room, and they were headed for the door, Lily with tears streaming down her face. She clutched her baby, and I let out a curse as I saw the red book folded neatly in her hands. The ran through me, and out the back door.

"You can run, but you can't hide.." laughed Voldemort. His clicking heels resounded, but soon blended into the storm as he stepped outside. He raised his wand, aiming at Lily, who was running, and screaming.

"Avada Kedavra."

And with another flash of green light, and another distressed wail from myself, I felt something wrench me. Letting out a strangled yell, I was suddenly pulled into a room similar to the one my mother had pulled me into.

Only a woman was before me, with long locks of crimson waves. Her eyes glittered a dark green, but I saw pain and sadness hidden well inside. A dark gem glittered at her forehead... I suddenly realized who it was..

"Raven?" I whispered. Raven smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes. "Yes. And you are Harry. You look like your father- the little rascal. But you have your mother's eyes." A tear sprung in her eye. "I never expected to actually meet you.." She whispered. I took a step forward, but she halted me. "No. Come no further. Just go.."

I let out a yell as I fell. Grunting as hit the dark street, my eyes widened as I saw the scene before me.

Muggle bodies lay everywhere. Blood, gore, debris... Everywhere. Just like the picture of the street in the Daily Prophet three years ago... My eyes widened.

I was on the street where Peter had murdered all those innocent people- muggle and wizard.

Crowds were gathering, crowds of screaming, shouting, crying people. And through it all, my eyes landed on a couple by a scorched, oak tree. A shaggy, black head, with a dark, scarlet head resting on his shoulder. I ran over, my heart beating fast.

"Sirius... Why?" Sobbed a tall, leath woman, her hands clutching the man closer to her. I turned slightly, and I felt my own eyes tear up.

Sirius. The Sirius I knew. The Sirius I had grown to love.

'Why did you do it?' I thought, and tears fell down my face. Shaking my head, I looked closer at the woman, and realized that she was Raven.

Sirius pulled away from their embrace, but he gazed deeply into Raven's eyes. "I didn't do it." He whispered hoarsely. I could see a twinkle of salted tears in his optics.

Raven nodded, her arms falling to her sides. Sirius stifled sob, and took her porcelain hand, resting it inside his rough hand. "Raven Dumbledore Black, I promise, that no matter what happens, I will come back." came his low voice. My heart seemed to rip even more.

Raven looked up at him, her green irises mingling with his gray. "What if you don't?" She whispered. Sirius pulled her close suddenly, brushing his lips by her ear. "I'll still be with you." He pulled her chin gently upward. The two gaze deeply into each other's eyes, and the drew closer. Sirius's lips captured hers, his arms pulling her closer to him, while Raven circled her arms around his neck, pushing herself closer. After a long moment, Sirius pulled away, his tears sprinkling on her pale, wet face as he kissed her brow.

"I have to go."

Raven nodded, her face contorted with pain and misery. A loud pop fell in with the roaring screams... And Sirius was gone.

Once more, I was wrenched away from this memory, and I let out a loud grunt as I felt the coarse grass at my neck. I lay there, panting heavily.

Why had I seen those memories?
Raven was related to Dumbledore?
Sirius married Raven!?

I was confused. Greatly confused. I was frightened. I was sad... I lay there for a while, thinking deeply when I suddenly felt an arm grasp my shoulder.

"Harry! Hermione's missing!"

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Yet another cliffhanger. oo Yeah.... xD Reviews are absolutely luffed! Umm.. Yeah. I kinda feel the story's moving to fast... -sigh- Oh well.

Lady Tide