DISCLAIMER: I don't own Beyblade
Thanks to my reviewers: Storm Chaos, Nancys-little-Obsession, MrsHiwatari, Kai-lovr, ichibi, Sweetangel , Kiina, HimekoSukie, Ezj-Key, Little Leila, Minako
Big big thank you to ChainedFire for betaring this chapter.
LIAR
I stomped along the footpath in a huff, a scowl seemingly etched into my features. I was beyond mad and bordering on severely pissed off. Kai makes me so mad! He infuriates me. I've been walking for ages after leaving my house this morning, after the tiff had gotten out of hand. At the remembrance of this morning's argument, I instantly became guilt ridden. My scowl softened slightly as my words repeated themselves in my head. I had been so cruel to him. Sure he's stubborn, mean, and rude almost constantly, but what I said was just plain cruel.
I lied.
I basically told him that no one cares for him and nobody likes him. A complete lie. I knew that at least one person in this universe likes him: me. I care not only about him but for him as well. There was a big difference between the two, and I know for sure that I like him. I've liked him for a long time.
I've more than liked him for a long time.
What was it that I yelled at him as he turned his back on me? Oh yah, 'I hate you.' That's what I shouted at him. And not to be ambiguous or anything, but I made sure that he knew what I was talking about...... I mentioned him by name.
I came to a stop in front of the swing set in the park playground. I sat down and rested my head in my hands. I am so stupid. I sat there rocking back and forth while dragging my feet in the soft dirt. My thoughts were running a mile a minute through my head. I just didn't understand how I could go from being pissed at him for hours on end and then in the space of two minutes be so completely guilt laden. I was pathetic. I wish I could learn when to keep my mouth shut. It's gotten me into so much trouble in the past. You'd think that an intelligent being would learn from past mistakes. But no! Humans are seen to be intelligent beings considering that they effectively rule this planet. However, I think that I lucked out on the intelligence part.
I keep doing the same thing over and over. My temper gets the best of me and everything else just flies out the window. I am really going to have to work on holding my tongue or not only am I going to offend everyone that I hold dear, but I am going to end up pushing them all away completely.
I think back to what he yelled at me. He called me immature, which I suppose I am a lot of the time. Brash; I guess I could use a little bit more tact some of the time. Arrogant; granted I can be slightly cocky sometimes...okay more like most of the time. He called me rude. I can accept the other colourful vocabulary which he used to describe my demeanour but rude? I think not...........
The last thing he said to me was that I was an embarrassment to Beyblade, to the Bladebreakers, and to himself. That was what shattered me I think. I had disappointed him, and I've tried my hardest to prove myself to him; to prove that I am worthy of the title that I had won. I was a champion, but I would give all the trophies, the titles, all of the fame and fortune in the world in exchange for just one thing. Kai's praise. The greatest thing in the world to me is his approval. I want his respect and I thirst for his....... well, basically I just hunger for him.
I slowed the swing to a stop and planted my feet on the ground. I sat there for a little while, but eventually the stillness got to me and I had to move again. I've grown tired of the park scenery so I stood up and continued along the path.
He makes me feel things that I didn't think that I could ever feel. I had grown up playing my cards close to my chest. I was used to guarding my secrets with a bright smile and a cheerful, overly merry personality. I have played this game for so long that sometimes I forget who I really am. When I think of him, or when I am near him, it is like the floodgates inside of me are torn down and I simply feel. Good things, bad things, and every other kind of thing! Some that I didn't want to entertain in case it brought me humiliation at a later date. However, there were some things that I just couldn't get rid off. When I first met him, I couldn't believe how rude and cold he was. However, as I spent time with him, as much as I dared, I began to see things. I looked harder; I observed and studied him. He fascinated me. We were so alike in a way and yet so very different. Contrary to popular belief, I am a private person. I like to retain my bubble and so did he. Only, he had cast a stone wall around his heart. He had learned to school his features into a neutral mask. He is very good at being an emotionless bastard, but he really isn't all that intelligent.
I mean, if he truly wanted to be left alone then he should not have made himself so cold. It creates an aura around him. It clings to him, this mystery, and all he succeeds in is drawing a second glance. If he wanted to disappear then he should have taken time in studying the ones he wanted to become invisible to. With his exotic looks, his style in clothing, his demeanour, and even the way he walks. It's like he has a rod shoved up his behind. He should have realized that he would never be able to disappear.
I on the other hand am a master the camouflage perfectly. I'm always happy and smiling. People never remember the cheerful ones because they just don't make much of an impression. It's true that I am somewhat brash and overly loud, but not everyone that wants privacy wants to be a wallflower. I think that's why I kept my hair so long. I wanted to be different but not enough to make a lasting impression. That came out wrong. What I mean is, I like the attention but too much time in the spot light makes me feel almost claustrophobic.
If Kai and I were walking down the street side by side, who would you notice and remember? Would you see the tall, elegant young man with a scowl marring his features wearing distinctive clothing and a long white scarf? With his cheeks adorned with blue fins, like battle paint for his own private war? Or would you notice the shorter boy with plain blue jeans, a yellow shirt and a red jacket? The boy with navy hair tied in a pony with a slouch of a walk. I am thinking the former. He just doesn't blend in. I mean, even his hair is unusual. And if you are ever close enough to see his eyes, then you'd notice that they are an unforgettable scarlet colour. They're so full of passion or rage.
It is almost like he wants to be noticed. I can understand that. A hunger for recognition and for respect. I understand because it is what I want from him, but he... it's like he wants it from the entire world. I just don't understand why he can't see that people are drawn to him. If he wants their respect, devotion, and loyalty then he must show them something that they can have faith in. A shell is not appropriate. I on the other hand have created a fully interactive shell. I blend and mix and laugh and sometimes make a fool of myself.
People do not see me. They see what I give them and what I feed them, but they do not know me. Sometimes when he looks at me I feel like he sees beyond my laughter and other times it's like he takes me at face value. He confuses me so. Yet I know that when people look at Kai they often just judge him as being a bastard and a jerk. They do not see the person waiting just beneath the hardened exterior.
I do but I cannot reach him because if I do then I will be forced to show him who I am. To reveal my secrets. I don't wish for that to happen, but I want him. I've always wanted him.
It seems unreasonable to ask him to give himself to me but not give him anything of myself in return.
So I play my game. I hold my cards close and I guard my secrets with a smile just as he guards his with silence.
We are both liars, and right now I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams.
I reached the bridge before I knew it and I stayed there for a time, just staring off into space. It was getting late and I knew that I should get back. Kai was going to be so mad at me. He said that if I didn't train then I could kiss my spot goodbye. I wondered if he would be lenient and forgive me if I turned up for the second half of the training. I doubted it but it was worth a shot.
I turned on my heels and trudged back to my home. I walked around the side of the house, an apology dying upon my lips when I discovered there was no one around. I frowned and made my way to the back door. I wondered where they all could be. I knew my Grandpa was out visiting friends in the neighbouring city today and wasn't coming back until tomorrow night, so upon finding the door unlocked I knew someone was home.
I made my way down the corridor and stopped in front of my bedroom door. The bedroom I shared with Kai. The door was half way open and I could see Kai lying on his back on top of his bed. He was staring at the ceiling with seemingly unseeing eyes. He did not react to my presence so I assumed he had not noticed me.
I was about to announce myself when he sat up suddenly, his hands reaching for the hem of his shirt. Before I could even blink the shirt was lifted and he threw it across the room. I stared goggle eyed at the broad expanse of creamy skin exposed. He reached for his belt buckle and with nimble fingers swiftly undid it. The jeans button and fly soon followed. I knew that I should make myself known. I knew that this was voyeurism but I couldn't help it. He was just so addictive.
He stood up and his pants slid down over his hips and rested in a pool at his feet. He stepped out of them. I was transfixed.
I leaned against the door knob, pushing it further open as I continued to watch his movement across the room. He was heading for the joint bathroom. His fingers fell to the waist line of his black boxers and my breath caught in my throat. I leaned further against the door and then with one sudden movement everything came crashing down.
The door swung side open and banged against the wall. I was so surprised I didn't even manage to save myself from planting a big wet one on our carpeted floor.
He yelped in surprise. If I wasn't so embarrassed I would have laughed. Kai yelping was an extremely funny thing. It was totally uncharacteristic for him and I think that was why I found it so amusing even though I was still the one on the floor with my face mashed into the carpet.
"Uh – hi..." I spluttered, finally picking myself up.
"What are you doing?" he hissed back at me.
"Look I came back to apologize."
He looked at me in disbelief.
"I swear to you. I was wrong. I shouldn't have yelled at you. What I said was awful and I didn't mean it. I was just so angry. I've calmed down now, so I came back to train only there was no one in the yard so I came inside and I found you."
He cocked an eyebrow at me.
"You were watching me?"
"Yes. I mean – no.....what I mean is......"
"Hmm?" he mocked.
"Don't do that!"
"Do what?"
"You know."
"What are you going on about Tyson?"
"You shouldn't just expose yourself like that."
"I beg your pardon. I was in my room."
"Na ah – this is my room too, and I would appreciate it if you didn't flaunt your body."
"What?" he scoffed.
"You heard me."
"I don't believe it. You just accused me of flaunting my body, when I was getting undressed for a shower in my....ok our room....but you weren't here. You were...just gone. And then you were the one watching me and you say I flaunt my body."
"Well...well...I..."
"You are nuts."
"No I'm not. I.....You.....it's not fair."
"What?"
"Your body...is nice ok."
"Um ok..."
"Oh for the love of Pete! Could you cover up?"
"See something you like?"
I couldn't believe it. What was wrong with him? He was being most unlike himself. And then I realized he was being most unlike the shell that he had created. This was him....he was teasing me.
"Yes, Gods yes."
He blushed prettily and I know that my face flamed.
"I didn't just say that out loud did I?" I asked meekly.
He nodded slowly, a glassy look in his eyes. His mouth had dropped open in shock.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said," I blurted out two seconds before I turned and ran like the wind.
As soon as I turned though my stomach dropped and my heart felt just so much heavier.
Of course I want him. How could I not? And I told him that I didn't.
I'm such a liar.
Hope that you like the update. If people like it then I suppose I'll write some more, if not then I won't bother..... I know that they are OOC – perhaps excessive OOCnes but I have tried to justify why I have written them out of character.
Be safe
-BG
Thanks to my reviewers: Storm Chaos, Nancys-little-Obsession, MrsHiwatari, Kai-lovr, ichibi, Sweetangel , Kiina, HimekoSukie, Ezj-Key, Little Leila, Minako
Big big thank you to ChainedFire for betaring this chapter.
LIAR
I stomped along the footpath in a huff, a scowl seemingly etched into my features. I was beyond mad and bordering on severely pissed off. Kai makes me so mad! He infuriates me. I've been walking for ages after leaving my house this morning, after the tiff had gotten out of hand. At the remembrance of this morning's argument, I instantly became guilt ridden. My scowl softened slightly as my words repeated themselves in my head. I had been so cruel to him. Sure he's stubborn, mean, and rude almost constantly, but what I said was just plain cruel.
I lied.
I basically told him that no one cares for him and nobody likes him. A complete lie. I knew that at least one person in this universe likes him: me. I care not only about him but for him as well. There was a big difference between the two, and I know for sure that I like him. I've liked him for a long time.
I've more than liked him for a long time.
What was it that I yelled at him as he turned his back on me? Oh yah, 'I hate you.' That's what I shouted at him. And not to be ambiguous or anything, but I made sure that he knew what I was talking about...... I mentioned him by name.
I came to a stop in front of the swing set in the park playground. I sat down and rested my head in my hands. I am so stupid. I sat there rocking back and forth while dragging my feet in the soft dirt. My thoughts were running a mile a minute through my head. I just didn't understand how I could go from being pissed at him for hours on end and then in the space of two minutes be so completely guilt laden. I was pathetic. I wish I could learn when to keep my mouth shut. It's gotten me into so much trouble in the past. You'd think that an intelligent being would learn from past mistakes. But no! Humans are seen to be intelligent beings considering that they effectively rule this planet. However, I think that I lucked out on the intelligence part.
I keep doing the same thing over and over. My temper gets the best of me and everything else just flies out the window. I am really going to have to work on holding my tongue or not only am I going to offend everyone that I hold dear, but I am going to end up pushing them all away completely.
I think back to what he yelled at me. He called me immature, which I suppose I am a lot of the time. Brash; I guess I could use a little bit more tact some of the time. Arrogant; granted I can be slightly cocky sometimes...okay more like most of the time. He called me rude. I can accept the other colourful vocabulary which he used to describe my demeanour but rude? I think not...........
The last thing he said to me was that I was an embarrassment to Beyblade, to the Bladebreakers, and to himself. That was what shattered me I think. I had disappointed him, and I've tried my hardest to prove myself to him; to prove that I am worthy of the title that I had won. I was a champion, but I would give all the trophies, the titles, all of the fame and fortune in the world in exchange for just one thing. Kai's praise. The greatest thing in the world to me is his approval. I want his respect and I thirst for his....... well, basically I just hunger for him.
I slowed the swing to a stop and planted my feet on the ground. I sat there for a little while, but eventually the stillness got to me and I had to move again. I've grown tired of the park scenery so I stood up and continued along the path.
He makes me feel things that I didn't think that I could ever feel. I had grown up playing my cards close to my chest. I was used to guarding my secrets with a bright smile and a cheerful, overly merry personality. I have played this game for so long that sometimes I forget who I really am. When I think of him, or when I am near him, it is like the floodgates inside of me are torn down and I simply feel. Good things, bad things, and every other kind of thing! Some that I didn't want to entertain in case it brought me humiliation at a later date. However, there were some things that I just couldn't get rid off. When I first met him, I couldn't believe how rude and cold he was. However, as I spent time with him, as much as I dared, I began to see things. I looked harder; I observed and studied him. He fascinated me. We were so alike in a way and yet so very different. Contrary to popular belief, I am a private person. I like to retain my bubble and so did he. Only, he had cast a stone wall around his heart. He had learned to school his features into a neutral mask. He is very good at being an emotionless bastard, but he really isn't all that intelligent.
I mean, if he truly wanted to be left alone then he should not have made himself so cold. It creates an aura around him. It clings to him, this mystery, and all he succeeds in is drawing a second glance. If he wanted to disappear then he should have taken time in studying the ones he wanted to become invisible to. With his exotic looks, his style in clothing, his demeanour, and even the way he walks. It's like he has a rod shoved up his behind. He should have realized that he would never be able to disappear.
I on the other hand am a master the camouflage perfectly. I'm always happy and smiling. People never remember the cheerful ones because they just don't make much of an impression. It's true that I am somewhat brash and overly loud, but not everyone that wants privacy wants to be a wallflower. I think that's why I kept my hair so long. I wanted to be different but not enough to make a lasting impression. That came out wrong. What I mean is, I like the attention but too much time in the spot light makes me feel almost claustrophobic.
If Kai and I were walking down the street side by side, who would you notice and remember? Would you see the tall, elegant young man with a scowl marring his features wearing distinctive clothing and a long white scarf? With his cheeks adorned with blue fins, like battle paint for his own private war? Or would you notice the shorter boy with plain blue jeans, a yellow shirt and a red jacket? The boy with navy hair tied in a pony with a slouch of a walk. I am thinking the former. He just doesn't blend in. I mean, even his hair is unusual. And if you are ever close enough to see his eyes, then you'd notice that they are an unforgettable scarlet colour. They're so full of passion or rage.
It is almost like he wants to be noticed. I can understand that. A hunger for recognition and for respect. I understand because it is what I want from him, but he... it's like he wants it from the entire world. I just don't understand why he can't see that people are drawn to him. If he wants their respect, devotion, and loyalty then he must show them something that they can have faith in. A shell is not appropriate. I on the other hand have created a fully interactive shell. I blend and mix and laugh and sometimes make a fool of myself.
People do not see me. They see what I give them and what I feed them, but they do not know me. Sometimes when he looks at me I feel like he sees beyond my laughter and other times it's like he takes me at face value. He confuses me so. Yet I know that when people look at Kai they often just judge him as being a bastard and a jerk. They do not see the person waiting just beneath the hardened exterior.
I do but I cannot reach him because if I do then I will be forced to show him who I am. To reveal my secrets. I don't wish for that to happen, but I want him. I've always wanted him.
It seems unreasonable to ask him to give himself to me but not give him anything of myself in return.
So I play my game. I hold my cards close and I guard my secrets with a smile just as he guards his with silence.
We are both liars, and right now I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams.
I reached the bridge before I knew it and I stayed there for a time, just staring off into space. It was getting late and I knew that I should get back. Kai was going to be so mad at me. He said that if I didn't train then I could kiss my spot goodbye. I wondered if he would be lenient and forgive me if I turned up for the second half of the training. I doubted it but it was worth a shot.
I turned on my heels and trudged back to my home. I walked around the side of the house, an apology dying upon my lips when I discovered there was no one around. I frowned and made my way to the back door. I wondered where they all could be. I knew my Grandpa was out visiting friends in the neighbouring city today and wasn't coming back until tomorrow night, so upon finding the door unlocked I knew someone was home.
I made my way down the corridor and stopped in front of my bedroom door. The bedroom I shared with Kai. The door was half way open and I could see Kai lying on his back on top of his bed. He was staring at the ceiling with seemingly unseeing eyes. He did not react to my presence so I assumed he had not noticed me.
I was about to announce myself when he sat up suddenly, his hands reaching for the hem of his shirt. Before I could even blink the shirt was lifted and he threw it across the room. I stared goggle eyed at the broad expanse of creamy skin exposed. He reached for his belt buckle and with nimble fingers swiftly undid it. The jeans button and fly soon followed. I knew that I should make myself known. I knew that this was voyeurism but I couldn't help it. He was just so addictive.
He stood up and his pants slid down over his hips and rested in a pool at his feet. He stepped out of them. I was transfixed.
I leaned against the door knob, pushing it further open as I continued to watch his movement across the room. He was heading for the joint bathroom. His fingers fell to the waist line of his black boxers and my breath caught in my throat. I leaned further against the door and then with one sudden movement everything came crashing down.
The door swung side open and banged against the wall. I was so surprised I didn't even manage to save myself from planting a big wet one on our carpeted floor.
He yelped in surprise. If I wasn't so embarrassed I would have laughed. Kai yelping was an extremely funny thing. It was totally uncharacteristic for him and I think that was why I found it so amusing even though I was still the one on the floor with my face mashed into the carpet.
"Uh – hi..." I spluttered, finally picking myself up.
"What are you doing?" he hissed back at me.
"Look I came back to apologize."
He looked at me in disbelief.
"I swear to you. I was wrong. I shouldn't have yelled at you. What I said was awful and I didn't mean it. I was just so angry. I've calmed down now, so I came back to train only there was no one in the yard so I came inside and I found you."
He cocked an eyebrow at me.
"You were watching me?"
"Yes. I mean – no.....what I mean is......"
"Hmm?" he mocked.
"Don't do that!"
"Do what?"
"You know."
"What are you going on about Tyson?"
"You shouldn't just expose yourself like that."
"I beg your pardon. I was in my room."
"Na ah – this is my room too, and I would appreciate it if you didn't flaunt your body."
"What?" he scoffed.
"You heard me."
"I don't believe it. You just accused me of flaunting my body, when I was getting undressed for a shower in my....ok our room....but you weren't here. You were...just gone. And then you were the one watching me and you say I flaunt my body."
"Well...well...I..."
"You are nuts."
"No I'm not. I.....You.....it's not fair."
"What?"
"Your body...is nice ok."
"Um ok..."
"Oh for the love of Pete! Could you cover up?"
"See something you like?"
I couldn't believe it. What was wrong with him? He was being most unlike himself. And then I realized he was being most unlike the shell that he had created. This was him....he was teasing me.
"Yes, Gods yes."
He blushed prettily and I know that my face flamed.
"I didn't just say that out loud did I?" I asked meekly.
He nodded slowly, a glassy look in his eyes. His mouth had dropped open in shock.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said," I blurted out two seconds before I turned and ran like the wind.
As soon as I turned though my stomach dropped and my heart felt just so much heavier.
Of course I want him. How could I not? And I told him that I didn't.
I'm such a liar.
Hope that you like the update. If people like it then I suppose I'll write some more, if not then I won't bother..... I know that they are OOC – perhaps excessive OOCnes but I have tried to justify why I have written them out of character.
Be safe
-BG