A Day in the Life of Malik Ishtar
Chapter Five: Subways are Hazardous to Your Health
Disclaimer: Um, I still don't own anything! So don't go telling people I do, because I don't! And if you go telling people I own things, then I will be angry, because I own NOTHING! NOTHIIIING!
Ahem.
Pointless author's notes: Thank you, Night Spirit, for clearing up the Ghouls thing! ^^ *is enlightened* Uhm, yeah, not much to say about this chapter except that I haven't had it edited by anyone, since it's almost 1:00 AM on a Saturday morning and no one's around to edit the final thing. Since I'm an impatient little brat, I'm just going to post this and hope it's not horrid! o_o
"All right. The wound's wrapped. Now all we need to do is find.. what are their names, again?" Malik scratched his head.
"Jounouchi," replied Bakura. His voice was steady; Malik wondered at how the boy could function normally, since the wound in his upper arm was enough to make the average person faint. "Anzu and Yugi's grandfather were with him when I saw him last."
Malik consulted his watch. "Jouno-boy's duel must be over now. Let me check in with my Hunters, and I need to contact Rishido, too."
"Hurry up."
~*~*~*~
Rishido was standing idlely (whoa, Microsoft Word says that isn't a word.. but you all know what I mean, don't you?) in the relatively dark, but somewhat bright due to the noon sunlight, so perhaps the darkness and the light would cancel each other out to create-HE WAS STANDING IN AN ALLEYWAY THAT WAS SEMI-DARK. I hate it when I frustrate myself. . .
Rishido glared up at the sky, angry at the narrator for disturbing the tranquility. "Please refrain from your ever-so frequent violent outbursts. And do consider some anger management."
SHUT UP. I control yooou. 'Rishido ran out into the middle of the road and was promptly hit by a semi!'
The two Hunters who had accompanied Rishido blinked at the stupidity displayed by their leader. They, of course, did not have the gift of hearing the almighty narrator. 'Stop. Rewind. Rishido was standing in a semi-dark alleyway. Actually, make that a quasi-dark alleyway. Yay for quasi!'
"Can we do stuff now?" asked one of the Hunters.
"Not until we get a signal from Malik-sama," Rishido answered irritably.
"Now?"
"No."
"Now?"
"NO."
". . . How about now?"
"N-"
Rishido. Make your move.
"Yes, now."
"Yippie!" chorused the Hunters as they scampered off to the building's entrance.
Rishido followed them, rubbing his temples. He would never get used to the side effects of mind control.
In due course they made it to the roof floor. Rishido quietly stalked across the open space, the Hunters following in suit. Their target was sitting with his back to them.
"Where are they? Ugh, the stupid satellite must be malfunctioning.. again. If Niisama was back in the control room, this wouldn't be happening!" The target was none other than Mokuba Kaiba, the pint-sized Battle City Commissioner with hedgehog hair and an attitude that would make most duelists cower. Those who didn't cower were dealt with by the elder Kaiba brother, and they regretted it.
"The satellite will be working again once we're done with you," Rishido said in a low voice, now directly behind Mokuba.
"I doubt it," Mokuba replied dubiously. "It takes. . . wait, what?!" He spun around and found himself face to face (or face to knee, rather) with three creepy, tall guys. By then it was too late to escape.
~*~*~*~
"They're a good ten miles away," Malik reported. "Let's get on my motorcycle and-"
"Motorcycle? There is no possible way you're getting me to ride that thing."
"What?!"
"Don't say another word. We're taking the subway."
Malik glared. Bakura glared back with twice the ferocity.
"Park your motorcycle somewhere and meet me at the subway station on Laurel Cherry Street." (Haha, thanks to my friend Jake/Poopsie for the name! *is lazy as fook*)
"Right, whatever," said Malik grudgingly. It seemed to him that Bakura was running the show, when it wasn't even his mission to run. Maybe the whole "ally deal" wasn't going to be so great after all. . .
~*~*~*~
"They're not here! Kaiba, I thought you said they were here! At this freaky-deeky aquarium place! But I can plainly see that my friends are very much NOT here!"
"Apparently not," agreed Kaiba with a roll of his eyes. Yugi was exceptionally annoying today. "It's not surprising that they're gone, actually. You must remember that the last time we checked the satellite was well over an hour ago."
"Oh no!" cried Yugi in despair. "Whatever shall we do?"
"Use a payphone," said Kaiba dully, his eyes rolling for a second time.
"Good idea! Except I can't remember Anzu's cell phone number. . . Oh, Kaiba, beating your head against a concrete wall will leave a bump!"
~*~*~*~
"Scoot over."
"No, I've got no where to scoot."
"Then MAKE room!" snapped Malik, shoving Bakura.
"Now I have no room!" shouted Bakura, shoving Malik into the heavyset woman who sat beside him.
"GACK!" Malik spluttered, being consumed by her. . . uh. . . voluptuous curves.
"Oh, what's this?" the woman picked up Malik by the back of his shirt collar and held him up in front of her face.
"Oro?!" Malik stared, wide-eyed. Bakura rolled his eyes and held up a sign reading: "Blatant Kenshin rip off!"
"How adorable!" the woman cried with glee, grabbing Malik into a squishy embrace.
Bakura snickered. Once Malik began flailing his arms and legs in vain, he couldn't contain his mirth and he rolled with laughter. He tossed his pointless sign over his shoulder, right into the face of a scary burly guy sitting next to him.
"Hey," growled the man. "Watch it."
Bakura whirled on the man, fixing a cold glare on him.
"Don't give me that look, you little punk."
"No, don't you ever speak to me like that again," Bakura retorted.
The man laughed nervously, surprised to hear a scrawny kid address him like he was some big shot. Insulted by being laughed at, Bakura made a lunge at his newly acquainted foe, but the man stood up and got off the subway. Bakura's lunge landed him in the lap of a rather attractive young woman.
"Eep!" she squeaked, and shoved him onto the floor. She gave him a kick to the ribs for good measure.
"Piece of-" his last word was cut off by a second kick. He held his chest and made a crawling retreat toward his seat, only to be tossed into the legs another passenger as the subway made a turn. As a reflex, the passenger kicked him away.
Bakura shakily climbed onto the seat, dizzy and disgruntled. Malik was still trapped by his bovine of a captor, whose death grip was slowly suffocating him.
The subway then came to its next stop. Bakura grabbed Malik's nearest limb-his ankle-and yanked him free. Before any protest could be made, he dragged his half-conscious companion out of the accursed transportation unit.
"Never again.." he muttered, dropping Malik's leg.
In a moment Malik was on his feet. He stumbled to the left, then to the right, and fell on Bakura. "Go on without me," he muttered pathetically.
"Suck it up," Bakura snapped, pushing Malik's limp body off and placing his hands on his shoulders to keep him from toppling backwards. "Come on, we don't have time for this."
"Right, right," Malik shook his head and got focused.
The two emerged from the subway station (gah, every time I type subway I think of a sandwich! x__x) and made their way toward the Jounouchi-tachi with the help of Malik's correspondence with his stalker Hunters.
"They should be rounding that street corner within the next minute or so," Malik said as they came to a halt.
Bakura removed the pastel green shirt he had been wearing over his dorky blue striped shirt (Oo;) in order to have his wound in clear view. "I'm letting Ryou take it from here, I'm no good at the 'pathetic weakling' routine."
Malik nodded, and Bakura suddenly collapsed onto his knees. "W-What..? What happened? Gah, my arm..!"
"Be quiet," Malik whispered as he knelt down and put Ryou's arm around his shoulders for support. He helped Ryou to his feet and looked up just in time to see Jounouchi.. well, marching around the corner.
"So I got this really spiffy card and-BAKURA!" Jounouchi cried, rushing over to his wounded friend. Anzu and Sugoroku followed in suit.
"What happened?" Anzu asked worriedly.
"I don't know, I just found him like this." Malik said with a frown, looking at Bakura with concern. Oh yes, just like he rehearsed. "Do you know him?"
"Yeah, Bakura's our friend from school. Hey, gramps, would you mind taking him to the hospital?"
"Yes, I will." Sugoroku signaled for a taxi, then carefully helped Bakura into it and they drove away. And that sounded like a really dumb sentence, but it doesn't matter because.. because it doesn't, so stop reading this and go on to the next paragraph.
"Thank you so much for helping Bakura-kun!" said Anzu happily.
"It was no problem," Malik forced a crooked smile.
"Oh, you're a duelist, too?" asked Jounouchi, noting the Duel Disk on Malik's arm. Woo, this is like that 20 questions game!
"I am?" Malik blinked and looked down at his arm, and sure enough, there was a Duel Disk. Where the fook did that come from? He did some back-tracking in his head, then remembered that he stole it from a four year old girl earlier that morning. He didn't see anything wrong with that, the girl obviously wouldn't put the thing to good use with her pansy deck. "Oh, yes! Uhm, I'm not very good.. Not as good as you, anyway! You're Jounouchi Katsuya, aren't you?"
"Yeah! How'd you know?"
"How couldn't I know? You're the runner up of the Duelist Kingdom Tournament!" Malik was mentally kicking himself repeatedly for the unnecessary flattery that was thundering out of his mouth.
Jounouchi went all starry-eyed. "Finally some appreciation! What's your name?" They only have 12 questions left, by the way.
"My name's Namu. It's a pleasure to meet you, Jounouchi," Malik held out his hand and Jounouchi shook it. How adorable. *eye roll* Let's see, time for some excitement..
"RAAAAAPE!" Anzu screeched. Jounouchi turned around to see her in the grasp of a black, cloaked figure.
"What the-HEY! Get your hands off of her!" Jounouchi charged at the cloaked man, but one of his companions stepped out from behind him and delivered a devastating blow to Jounouchi's face.
Malik just stood there with a twisted smirk on his face, but then he remembered his role as the wussy, kind kid who likes helping people and would never dream of running over a bunny that's crossing the street and. . .ew. "Oh, Jounouchi, are you okay?!" 11 more. . .
"Yeah, I'm fine, I think, but-" he was hauled up by one of the Hunters and punched again, knocking him out..? Yeah, knocking him out! Hahaha! *hasn't watched this episode in a while and doesn't quite remember what happened*
A third Hunter came up behind Malik and grabbed him, catching him off guard since this part hadn't been planned. "What are you doing?!" 10 more to go. . .
Anzu's cell phone started ringing. Her captor dug it out of her icky pink purse and answered it.
"Anzu! Anzu, Anzu, Anzu! Hi! This is Yugi, I'm at the freaky-deeky aquarium, and you're.. not! So where are you? Tell meeee!" We're down to 9 questions now. Annoyed, the Hunter threw the cell phone down on the concrete, breaking it.. obviously.
And with that, the three were dragged away by the big bad Hunters. And everyone died, the end! Er, I mean, just "the end". No one has died. Yet.
o_o; And now I'll be off to fast-forward through YGO disc 8 so I can get the rest of this Battle City plot right. . .
Chapter Five: Subways are Hazardous to Your Health
Disclaimer: Um, I still don't own anything! So don't go telling people I do, because I don't! And if you go telling people I own things, then I will be angry, because I own NOTHING! NOTHIIIING!
Ahem.
Pointless author's notes: Thank you, Night Spirit, for clearing up the Ghouls thing! ^^ *is enlightened* Uhm, yeah, not much to say about this chapter except that I haven't had it edited by anyone, since it's almost 1:00 AM on a Saturday morning and no one's around to edit the final thing. Since I'm an impatient little brat, I'm just going to post this and hope it's not horrid! o_o
"All right. The wound's wrapped. Now all we need to do is find.. what are their names, again?" Malik scratched his head.
"Jounouchi," replied Bakura. His voice was steady; Malik wondered at how the boy could function normally, since the wound in his upper arm was enough to make the average person faint. "Anzu and Yugi's grandfather were with him when I saw him last."
Malik consulted his watch. "Jouno-boy's duel must be over now. Let me check in with my Hunters, and I need to contact Rishido, too."
"Hurry up."
~*~*~*~
Rishido was standing idlely (whoa, Microsoft Word says that isn't a word.. but you all know what I mean, don't you?) in the relatively dark, but somewhat bright due to the noon sunlight, so perhaps the darkness and the light would cancel each other out to create-HE WAS STANDING IN AN ALLEYWAY THAT WAS SEMI-DARK. I hate it when I frustrate myself. . .
Rishido glared up at the sky, angry at the narrator for disturbing the tranquility. "Please refrain from your ever-so frequent violent outbursts. And do consider some anger management."
SHUT UP. I control yooou. 'Rishido ran out into the middle of the road and was promptly hit by a semi!'
The two Hunters who had accompanied Rishido blinked at the stupidity displayed by their leader. They, of course, did not have the gift of hearing the almighty narrator. 'Stop. Rewind. Rishido was standing in a semi-dark alleyway. Actually, make that a quasi-dark alleyway. Yay for quasi!'
"Can we do stuff now?" asked one of the Hunters.
"Not until we get a signal from Malik-sama," Rishido answered irritably.
"Now?"
"No."
"Now?"
"NO."
". . . How about now?"
"N-"
Rishido. Make your move.
"Yes, now."
"Yippie!" chorused the Hunters as they scampered off to the building's entrance.
Rishido followed them, rubbing his temples. He would never get used to the side effects of mind control.
In due course they made it to the roof floor. Rishido quietly stalked across the open space, the Hunters following in suit. Their target was sitting with his back to them.
"Where are they? Ugh, the stupid satellite must be malfunctioning.. again. If Niisama was back in the control room, this wouldn't be happening!" The target was none other than Mokuba Kaiba, the pint-sized Battle City Commissioner with hedgehog hair and an attitude that would make most duelists cower. Those who didn't cower were dealt with by the elder Kaiba brother, and they regretted it.
"The satellite will be working again once we're done with you," Rishido said in a low voice, now directly behind Mokuba.
"I doubt it," Mokuba replied dubiously. "It takes. . . wait, what?!" He spun around and found himself face to face (or face to knee, rather) with three creepy, tall guys. By then it was too late to escape.
~*~*~*~
"They're a good ten miles away," Malik reported. "Let's get on my motorcycle and-"
"Motorcycle? There is no possible way you're getting me to ride that thing."
"What?!"
"Don't say another word. We're taking the subway."
Malik glared. Bakura glared back with twice the ferocity.
"Park your motorcycle somewhere and meet me at the subway station on Laurel Cherry Street." (Haha, thanks to my friend Jake/Poopsie for the name! *is lazy as fook*)
"Right, whatever," said Malik grudgingly. It seemed to him that Bakura was running the show, when it wasn't even his mission to run. Maybe the whole "ally deal" wasn't going to be so great after all. . .
~*~*~*~
"They're not here! Kaiba, I thought you said they were here! At this freaky-deeky aquarium place! But I can plainly see that my friends are very much NOT here!"
"Apparently not," agreed Kaiba with a roll of his eyes. Yugi was exceptionally annoying today. "It's not surprising that they're gone, actually. You must remember that the last time we checked the satellite was well over an hour ago."
"Oh no!" cried Yugi in despair. "Whatever shall we do?"
"Use a payphone," said Kaiba dully, his eyes rolling for a second time.
"Good idea! Except I can't remember Anzu's cell phone number. . . Oh, Kaiba, beating your head against a concrete wall will leave a bump!"
~*~*~*~
"Scoot over."
"No, I've got no where to scoot."
"Then MAKE room!" snapped Malik, shoving Bakura.
"Now I have no room!" shouted Bakura, shoving Malik into the heavyset woman who sat beside him.
"GACK!" Malik spluttered, being consumed by her. . . uh. . . voluptuous curves.
"Oh, what's this?" the woman picked up Malik by the back of his shirt collar and held him up in front of her face.
"Oro?!" Malik stared, wide-eyed. Bakura rolled his eyes and held up a sign reading: "Blatant Kenshin rip off!"
"How adorable!" the woman cried with glee, grabbing Malik into a squishy embrace.
Bakura snickered. Once Malik began flailing his arms and legs in vain, he couldn't contain his mirth and he rolled with laughter. He tossed his pointless sign over his shoulder, right into the face of a scary burly guy sitting next to him.
"Hey," growled the man. "Watch it."
Bakura whirled on the man, fixing a cold glare on him.
"Don't give me that look, you little punk."
"No, don't you ever speak to me like that again," Bakura retorted.
The man laughed nervously, surprised to hear a scrawny kid address him like he was some big shot. Insulted by being laughed at, Bakura made a lunge at his newly acquainted foe, but the man stood up and got off the subway. Bakura's lunge landed him in the lap of a rather attractive young woman.
"Eep!" she squeaked, and shoved him onto the floor. She gave him a kick to the ribs for good measure.
"Piece of-" his last word was cut off by a second kick. He held his chest and made a crawling retreat toward his seat, only to be tossed into the legs another passenger as the subway made a turn. As a reflex, the passenger kicked him away.
Bakura shakily climbed onto the seat, dizzy and disgruntled. Malik was still trapped by his bovine of a captor, whose death grip was slowly suffocating him.
The subway then came to its next stop. Bakura grabbed Malik's nearest limb-his ankle-and yanked him free. Before any protest could be made, he dragged his half-conscious companion out of the accursed transportation unit.
"Never again.." he muttered, dropping Malik's leg.
In a moment Malik was on his feet. He stumbled to the left, then to the right, and fell on Bakura. "Go on without me," he muttered pathetically.
"Suck it up," Bakura snapped, pushing Malik's limp body off and placing his hands on his shoulders to keep him from toppling backwards. "Come on, we don't have time for this."
"Right, right," Malik shook his head and got focused.
The two emerged from the subway station (gah, every time I type subway I think of a sandwich! x__x) and made their way toward the Jounouchi-tachi with the help of Malik's correspondence with his stalker Hunters.
"They should be rounding that street corner within the next minute or so," Malik said as they came to a halt.
Bakura removed the pastel green shirt he had been wearing over his dorky blue striped shirt (Oo;) in order to have his wound in clear view. "I'm letting Ryou take it from here, I'm no good at the 'pathetic weakling' routine."
Malik nodded, and Bakura suddenly collapsed onto his knees. "W-What..? What happened? Gah, my arm..!"
"Be quiet," Malik whispered as he knelt down and put Ryou's arm around his shoulders for support. He helped Ryou to his feet and looked up just in time to see Jounouchi.. well, marching around the corner.
"So I got this really spiffy card and-BAKURA!" Jounouchi cried, rushing over to his wounded friend. Anzu and Sugoroku followed in suit.
"What happened?" Anzu asked worriedly.
"I don't know, I just found him like this." Malik said with a frown, looking at Bakura with concern. Oh yes, just like he rehearsed. "Do you know him?"
"Yeah, Bakura's our friend from school. Hey, gramps, would you mind taking him to the hospital?"
"Yes, I will." Sugoroku signaled for a taxi, then carefully helped Bakura into it and they drove away. And that sounded like a really dumb sentence, but it doesn't matter because.. because it doesn't, so stop reading this and go on to the next paragraph.
"Thank you so much for helping Bakura-kun!" said Anzu happily.
"It was no problem," Malik forced a crooked smile.
"Oh, you're a duelist, too?" asked Jounouchi, noting the Duel Disk on Malik's arm. Woo, this is like that 20 questions game!
"I am?" Malik blinked and looked down at his arm, and sure enough, there was a Duel Disk. Where the fook did that come from? He did some back-tracking in his head, then remembered that he stole it from a four year old girl earlier that morning. He didn't see anything wrong with that, the girl obviously wouldn't put the thing to good use with her pansy deck. "Oh, yes! Uhm, I'm not very good.. Not as good as you, anyway! You're Jounouchi Katsuya, aren't you?"
"Yeah! How'd you know?"
"How couldn't I know? You're the runner up of the Duelist Kingdom Tournament!" Malik was mentally kicking himself repeatedly for the unnecessary flattery that was thundering out of his mouth.
Jounouchi went all starry-eyed. "Finally some appreciation! What's your name?" They only have 12 questions left, by the way.
"My name's Namu. It's a pleasure to meet you, Jounouchi," Malik held out his hand and Jounouchi shook it. How adorable. *eye roll* Let's see, time for some excitement..
"RAAAAAPE!" Anzu screeched. Jounouchi turned around to see her in the grasp of a black, cloaked figure.
"What the-HEY! Get your hands off of her!" Jounouchi charged at the cloaked man, but one of his companions stepped out from behind him and delivered a devastating blow to Jounouchi's face.
Malik just stood there with a twisted smirk on his face, but then he remembered his role as the wussy, kind kid who likes helping people and would never dream of running over a bunny that's crossing the street and. . .ew. "Oh, Jounouchi, are you okay?!" 11 more. . .
"Yeah, I'm fine, I think, but-" he was hauled up by one of the Hunters and punched again, knocking him out..? Yeah, knocking him out! Hahaha! *hasn't watched this episode in a while and doesn't quite remember what happened*
A third Hunter came up behind Malik and grabbed him, catching him off guard since this part hadn't been planned. "What are you doing?!" 10 more to go. . .
Anzu's cell phone started ringing. Her captor dug it out of her icky pink purse and answered it.
"Anzu! Anzu, Anzu, Anzu! Hi! This is Yugi, I'm at the freaky-deeky aquarium, and you're.. not! So where are you? Tell meeee!" We're down to 9 questions now. Annoyed, the Hunter threw the cell phone down on the concrete, breaking it.. obviously.
And with that, the three were dragged away by the big bad Hunters. And everyone died, the end! Er, I mean, just "the end". No one has died. Yet.
o_o; And now I'll be off to fast-forward through YGO disc 8 so I can get the rest of this Battle City plot right. . .