Erik and Christine, The Married Life
Chapter 2
Christine scurried around the house with a feather duster, cleaning things here and there. She dressed nicer than usual in a deep blue dress, matching shoes, and her hair in a complicated up-do.
Erik, as always, occupied the couch. He looked up from the TV and frowned, "Why are you dressed like that?"
Christine let out a shrill giggle, making Erik cringe, "Dressed like what, dear?"
"Like," Erik waved his hand in her general direction, "That!"
"Oh! Like this!"
"Yes, like that."
"Oh! Um! Well"
A bell rang, signaling someone was at the gate. Christine glanced nervously at Erik and bit her lip, "I'd better go see who that is, hm?" She scurried off to get the door.
Erik let out an exasperated sigh. He strode over to the TV set and banged on it to get rid of the static. That failing, he resumed his position on the couch, "Fonzy I am not..."
Christine walked in, smiling nervously. She was followed by a dull, unimpressive looking man in a dull, unimpressive looking grey suit.
Erik eyed the intruder warily, "Who's he?"
"Erik, dear, this is Dr. Moore. He's here to help us."
"Is he here to install cable?"
"Um, no dear..."
"Can he fix the TV, at least?"
"Er..."
Dr. Moore stepped forward and offered his hand to Erik, "I'm Dr. Moore, I'm a marriage counselor."
Erik smiled and said in an overly-sweet tone, "Hello there, can you fix a TV"
"Well, no..." Dr. Moore shifted uncomfortably, "Er, may we go somewhere to sit down?"
Christine stepped between the two men, grinning and making superfluous hand gestures, "How about we go talk in the kitchen?"
Erik got up and plodded to the kitchen, followed by his wife and the counselor.
The three of them sat around the kitchen table in a tense silence. Christine coughed. Erik opened that day's newspaper and began to read.
Dr. Moore made an attempt at conversation, "So, Monsieur... erm... what is your surname?"
"The Phantom. Or Opera Ghost, if you prefer," Erik answered, his eyes not leaving the paper.
"Oui, Monsieur Opera Ghost."
"No. Just, Opera Ghost. No mister. Opera Ghost. Nothing else."
"I see..." Dr. Moore took out a pen and pad of paper and scribbled something on it while muttering, "Multiple personality complex, possible schizophrenia..."
Erik looked up from his paper and shot an icy stare at Dr. Moore, "I do not have a multiple personality complex and I am not a schizophrenic." He went back to reading, "I am merely suffering from an inferiority complex brought on by the lack of attention from my mother as a child, that is all"
Dr. Moore sat gaping while Christine suppressed a laugh. Dr. Moore swallowed and continued with his examination, "It seems we also have a problem with our attention span..."
Erik continued reading his paper, "We do not have a problem with our attention span. I pay attention to important people. Oh look, a new opera premiers tonight. I must attend that. You were saying something?"
Dr. Moore was positively fuming, "I am NOT going to sit here and be one-upped by an amateur!" he shouted, practically spitting the word 'amateur.'
Erik looked at him innocently, "I? One-upping you? My dear monsieur, I am doing nothing of the kind! I am simply correcting your observations and reading my newspaper. Is there anything wrong with that, I ask you? Besides, I thought you were a marriage counselor."
"I am, but I took quite a few courses in psychology."
"Well that hardly makes you any less of an amateur than me, now does it."
Dr. Moore started to cry, "My parents always said I'd never amount to anything! Now look at me, a marriage counselor! And my best paying client is a... a... a..." he stumbled for the proper word, "A Phantom! I want my teddy bear!" He sobbed into the sleeve of Christine's dress. Christine looked at Erik with pleading eyes.
Erik leaned forward, "Tell me about your mother."
Dr. Moore ran out of the lair screaming.
Christine snorted. Her snort turned into a giggle and her giggle turned into a guffaw. Soon she was laughing uncontrollably and so was Erik. Christine kissed Erik's cheek, "Dear, that was wonderful! I don't know what I was thinking hiring that silly counselor in the first place."
"Well, I think we both deserved a good laugh. And you're right, we do need a family vacation. When Jean-Luc gets home from school we'll have a family meeting about it. We haven't had one of those in ages."
Christine stood up, "Oh good! I'll get my brochures!" She scurried off to find the aforementioned brochures.
"Not Disneyland!" Erik yelled after her.
"Yes dear."