A/N: At last I can update- the problems with the site have been a little frustrating, huh? But the site is back, and so am I, with a nice big chapter for you.

Thank you again for the reviews of the last chapter- Insaneblackheart, I appreciate the sentiment on Shigure and Tohru's relationship. I also get bored when couples get together too quickly, hence what I'm doing with my couple here. Thank you for your faithful reviewing, Wolfwoods, I always like to hear from you. And I loved that Shigure kissed Tohru too- I was giggling to myself when I wrote that bit, hehe. Meepghost, your request has been approved, though only in brief for the time being- but I promise Aya will be in this story. To my very smiley reviewer, thank you for the cookie, and you're very welcome. I love Gureru fics myself, hehe. And celestialgoddess13, your reviews really keep me motivated- thank you very much for the thought you put into them, and for reading this story.

Thank you all, and I hope you enjoy the newest instalment.

And The Snow Falls

Chapter Five

Something Like Perfect

Akito circled me slowly, close enough to keep some small amount of contact stinging between us. I was both repulsed and trapped by it, and the darkness in his eyes reminded me all too well of the times he'd given into his madness; the violence he'd unleashed on Hatori, Kisa, Yuki, me; all of his family, at one time or another.

Standing that close to Akito was like pacing a cobra's path. His eyes watched, always. There was a sick tension forever carving through him, reaching out to drown anyone close by. And stood there, then, with Akito coming to a halt in front of me, moving as if in slow motion, his stare clawing through my barriers, I admit I felt afraid. I felt as if I'd been reminded of my place in Akito's world.

"You know, Shigure… Tohru-san likes you very much."

His voice was a soft hiss in the quiet, adding a new layer to the sibilant whine of my computer. I gazed unblinkingly back at him, feigning nonchalance. I'd let him spill his poison out. I'd let it pass right over me.

"You let her act like your little housewife all those years. I think she really feels like your wife now. Your perfect little wife." He smiled. I was sickened. The sensation made the corner of my mouth twinge downwards slightly, a tiny movement, but Akito caught it. He truly does enjoy subtleties.

"You know, I think she'd cry over you, if you were ever cruel to her," he said with mock-thoughtfulness. He lifted a hand to catch the neckline of my kimono between slender, pale fingers, his gaze lowering to watch his own movements.

He cocked his head slightly. "I think she'd do anything for you, Shigure." He slid his hand downwards, the heavy cotton making a soft slithering sound as it ran through his grasp. "I think she'd kiss you if you wanted her to."

His eyes rolled up slowly to meet mine again, staring through his dark hair at me. He slunk up against me, body pressed slightly against mine, putting his face up by my ear as he whispered, "I think she'd sleep with you if you asked."

I took a step back, shocked out of my stoic forbearance. I stared down at him with undisguised disbelief and disgust, horrified at this suspicious, creeping, slithering thing that seemed so intent on corrupting the one person whose innocence truly mattered to me.

Did he know I desired her as much as he desired her downfall? Did he know how much I hated that I could only buy my satisfaction with her innocence? Akito was well acquainted with corruption, I knew. And he knew the price of everything; he knew what cost came with any measure of achievement.

"Don't worry," he said, his eyes going icy at my horrified expression. He released my kimono. "I've already made everything much easier for you."

He stepped past me and reached for the door.

"Akito!" I demanded, turning quickly to look at him angrily. "What-"

"Just remember what I said," he interrupted me carelessly. "She'd do anything. So be sure to ask nicely," he finished nastily. He slid the door open and swept out, stealing back down the hallway and out of sight.

I shut the door behind him and rocked back on my heels, shoulders sagging as his presence melted away. Turning and sinking back against the wall, I tried to gather my thoughts, almost ill with what I dreaded he was asking of me.

The days began to pass more easily, and the sense of foreboding Akito had drawn over me slowly faded into the background, though it didn't subside.

I knew him well enough to know he never failed to act on his plans, and that those actions were usually difficult to predict or connect to his intentions. But, rather than let it trap me, I forced upon myself a new liberation, using my new free time to revisit old friends and get to know the main house again.

My visits to the place had grown less and less frequent over the years, and I hadn't been a common sight there in the first place- not since I moved out with Yuki. So it was that the child inside me revelled in finding that the apple tree in the garden still bore the notches of three boys' growth, that the cat who haunted the kitchen, old and stiff-legged now, still remembered me and purred when I stroked her, and that the small closet in the hall by Momiji's room still had that tucked-away corner at the back, the one a small boy playing hide-and-seek could just about fit into if he curled up extra tight. Ayame and Hatori never had discovered my best hiding place.

Being at the main house did have its perks, seeing my more favoured relatives more often being one of them. Momiji and Haru were still both at school, unfortunately, in their final year by then, so I didn't see them very much. Haru, however, seemed to go out of his way to see me now and then, and I couldn't help wondering why. He'd always been hard to read- in white mode, at least- but I had no urge to push the question.

As we sat together in my study one day, Haru watching the grey sky and persistent drizzle outside, me lazily attempting to organise my notes, he asked me if I liked living at the main house.

"In some ways, yes, in other ways, no," I said noncommittally. He didn't turn to look at me, chin cupped in his hand as he stared out the window. His profile gave nothing away.

"It's full of memories," he said, and I wondered how many times I'd hear that phrase before the year came to an end.

"Momiji told me your house was full of memories, too," he added calmly. "He said Yuki was in every room."

I felt the old, distant sadness creep over me again, like the melody of a familiar old song, and it was difficult to smile, so I didn't bother.

"It's so depressing, isn't it?" I asked rhetorically, with mock-cheerfulness.

Haru's expression didn't change at all.

"No," he replied slowly, softly. "Momiji said it was happy."

I cocked my head, but he still didn't turn or look at me.

Haru paused again. "He said he could still hear laughter everywhere. He just wished he'd lived there with you all."

I half-smiled, understanding, and joined Haru in gazing out at the dull day in silence.

It wasn't so hard to figure out why he'd been seeking my company, as I sat in silent companionship with him that day, mulling over his words. No matter the complications they may cause, problems are almost always fundamentally simple.

Seeing his cool, empty face, I knew he was just lonely.

Yuki's death had been hard on everyone, but I knew how Hatsuharu had felt about him. He hid it well behind his calm, composed demeanour, but I could feel the sense of loss that hung about the kid; like the cold in the air after a frost, the aftermath of his pain made his eyes a little less expressive, his movements a little slower, as if inhibited by his grief.

His walk always seemed to have a specific direction when he left my room, however, and I was curious about where he was going, but, like the subject of Yuki, the topic of how he coped with the situation seemed too hard to broach. I couldn't summon the energy for it.

Energy was in short supply all round that year, as the winter set in. I think the cold leeched it out of us all. Even Ayame was less exuberant than usual, but then it wasn't hard to understand. His little brother had died.

They never really had connected the way Aya had always hoped.

"You know, Gure-san," he'd said to me once, "I think I was somewhat selfish towards Yuki. Truthfully… I think I was unforgivably selfish."

His eyes had been full of sadness, a small, unconvincing smile on his face as he said it, and it pained me to look at him. But I'm selfish too. I smiled encouragingly at him and changed the subject.

I still dislike myself for that. It's far too easy to think someone in pain only wants to be told it's okay, and that the best thing is to stop them crying, but that's really a terribly immature attitude. Someone in real pain needs to cry, and to stop them only makes them feel pathetic for losing control in front of you.

I've known Ayame all my life, but I could still be knowingly selfish towards him. All I know is I just didn't want to deal with it; I didn't want to face Ayame's pain. It was too much, from someone who wasn't supposed to feel that degree of sadness. It was easier to say, 'silly, same old Ayame' than to look at who he really was; who he'd become.

I still wonder what sort of person I am, that I could do that to Aya. Because Tohru, my little Tohru; she can always cry to me.

I hope she will always cry to me.

Akito had told me that he'd made everything easier for me, but I hadn't realised what he meant by it at the time. My shelved worries about his schemes barely even concerned me anymore by the time he made his move.

The realisation came nearly three weeks after his confrontation with me, as I enjoyed a quiet evening after dinner, reading a book in the comfort of my bedroom. The peaceful silence was disturbed as I heard movements in the room next door, and I lowered my book, lifting my gaze to the wall in puzzlement.

That room had stood empty and unused since we'd been back at the main house, though it hadn't always been so. My study had once been Hatori's room, and the room on the other side of mine had been Ayame's; for years, we had seen each other every day, sharing almost all of our time, living in the same house and practically in the same room, considering the fact that all three rooms were connected by sliding doors.

So, when, at nine o'clock that night, I heard movement in that room of old happy memories, I was naturally very curious.

Sliding open the door and poking my head around to look through, I saw Tohru hanging clothes up in the wardrobe, her back to me. She didn't notice my presence until I coughed politely.

"I'm sorry!" she excused herself quickly as she turned around, before realising it was me, when she flushed bright red and glanced around the room self-consciously.

"Tohru-kun," I said with a tone of lazy interest, "Why are you putting things in here? Is someone using this room now?"

"Ah, I'm sorry, I should have told you… I thought… Um, that is, I'm using this room now, I hope you don't mind too much," she stammered, obviously feeling awkward in the extreme. I wondered where her sudden nervousness had come from. She'd never been that uncomfortable around me before, and I was sure it wasn't the new position of her room- after all, we'd only been living down the hall from each other at the old house.

I raised an eyebrow and frowned quizzically at her. "Is there something the matter, Tohru-kun?"

She shook her head vigorously. "No, not at all! I'm fine! I'm just making sure everything is set and tidy before I go to bed."

I suddenly noticed the bed in the corner properly for the first time.

Tohru was going to be sleeping in that bed tonight, a few scant meters from me.

She was going to have to get changed into her nightclothes first, though.

For a few seconds at least, she was going to be naked in the room next to mine. With only a sliding door between us.

The room suddenly felt a little stuffy, and there was a tingling feeling buzzing through me, focused in my fingertips and my chest.

At that point, I didn't even care what excuse Akito had given Tohru for this arrangement. I was too preoccupied with my anger that he'd bait his hook with the most tempting lure available.

And just stood there looking at me (now slightly puzzled, since I'd been staring at the bed for a couple of minutes without saying anything), her hair not quite tidy and wearing a simple blue dress, Tohru still looked more desirable than anything I could imagine. I wanted to grab her and claim her the only way I knew how.

Damn Akito and his godforsaken greed for making everyone miserable.

"Um, Shigure-san?"

I blinked and looked back at Tohru.

"Can I help?" I asked suddenly.

She looked confused.

"Putting things away, I mean," I clarified.

She made a little 'o' shape with her mouth and her face cleared. "Oh, thank you, but I wouldn't want to cause any trouble, I'm sure you have other things to do," she said quickly.

I shook my head, walking over to her. She didn't step back- she just looked at me, the red blooming in her cheeks again. God, she was adorable.

"Don't worry about that. Tonight, I am at your service," I said gently, smiling down at her, and in an instant the atmosphere changed. A warmth sprang up between us and filled me completely, and it was closer to perfect than anything else I could remember. I really could have kissed her right then.

I could see her throat work as she swallowed, gazing back up at me with wide eyes. I wondered if she felt the connection that had spun itself around us.

"What can I do?" I asked softly.

She blinked a couple of times, glancing away, until her gaze settled on a small box in the corner.

"The photos…" She looked back at me. "Could you put my photos up for me?"

I smiled at her again, and as I went to get the box, I felt honoured that she'd entrusted her most precious possessions to me, and pleased that she'd given me the most enjoyable task.

It was one of the happiest, most carefree evenings I'd had in far too long. Surrounded by the warm glow of Tohru's bedside lamp, chatting to each other easily as we moved about the room, and hearing her laugh, really and truly laugh with me, I felt I'd finally regained something I thought I'd lost forever. Tohru was so relaxed, and her smile came so easily; I couldn't help looking at her, all the time, and every time I caught her eye, she'd offer me that sweet smile of hers. We ended up putting the pictures up together, sharing memories over each one as we went, comparing ideas on where best to put each one. Teasing her was easy, like it used to be, and I could even push aside the fact that this was Akito's doing, and that this happiness wouldn't come without a price that we would both have to pay, sooner or later. The outside world seemed like a long-gone nightmare, and I hoped I'd never fall asleep again. Believing in that hope, and seeing Tohru's smile, I came to a new resolution.

Whatever Akito was scheming, I wouldn't let him make Tohru suffer. I wouldn't be a passive bystander anymore. For once, I wouldn't be selfish.

I told myself, again and again that night, that every time Akito lashed out at Tohru, I would take her out of harm's way. Any time he insulted her, I would comfort her. If ever he broke her, I would mend her.

And if he ever corrupted her, god help me but I would make him live to regret it.