A/N: Whoot, another chapter is here. Took a bit longer to write this one, but the next one should be easy- I'm quite looking forward to it. Mehe.

Once again I want to say thank you to everyone who is reading this story, and I really appreciate the reviews you leave. There were some really great ones for the last chapter, and it really spurred me on writing this one. Darkest Aphelion, I don't think your review was too long, I really enjoyed reading it, and I'm really glad you think the story is unique, because that's one of my top aims for it. Wolfwood, I'm glad you love it and I appreciate the way you always leave a review, it makes me feel loved, lol. Celestialgoddess13, what can I say, you're far too nice to me and I'm gonna get a huge ego soon- but I loved that you picked out the bit I liked the best from the last chapter, too; it's like we're on a similar wavelength or something, hehe. I'm glad to hear you're writing a story too, InsaneBlackHeart, but I'm sorry I won't be able to read it- I just don't read m/m pairings, it really isn't personal, they just aren't my taste. But good luck with the story! Thank you for reading and reviewing, Rinagurl13, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I'm glad you were so excited to be in my author's note, meepghost, and you're in this one, too, lol. And watch this space for Ayame, I've got some plans for him, hehe.

So here is the latest chapter, I hope you like it.

And The Snow Falls

Chapter Six

Only Nearly

A slow blink of the thickly-lashed eyes; a softly in-drawn breath, gliding over the silvery darkness between us, and there she was. Close, and watching me.

It didn't intimidate me. I felt my own power and control in the situation, knowing what I was capable of, and what she was capable of, and prepared to use it however I wanted. My knowledge was my power, and I knew her well enough by now.

I knew that if I gazed up at her through my lashes, she'd get this soft look around her eyes. I knew just how to slide my fingertips down her arm, so that she'd shiver just the tiniest little bit that you wouldn't even notice if you weren't watching her expression as she did it; that closed-lidded, lips-parted expression of half-surprise and half-pleasure, preoccupied with pure sensation.

Like this, I loved her, when she gave way to me so easily, and her barriers fell uselessly before me. When her eyes could see only me. Like this, I won her.

My eyes opened slowly, and I gazed up at the familiar ceiling.

The room was bathed in silvery-blue moonlight, floating over the slinking shadows, and my breathing was a soft rhythm in my ears. I lay there calmly, not even wondering what had woken me.

I'd had that dream again. That was the third time I'd dreamt of her that week, and she was the wrong person. I didn't want to think about her. It didn't matter anymore.

I turned on my side.

I'd moved my bed so that it was parallel to Tohru's, on the other side of the paper screens. I don't know if it comforted me, or made me even more acutely aware of the space between us that just wouldn't close; I hadn't decided yet. But I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Tohru.

Sweet, endearing, clueless, sunny Tohru.

'I think she'd do anything for you, Shigure.'

I could feel my mouth harden, lips pursing in a thin line as I pushed back the unwanted words, echoing through my mind with that distinctive, insidious hiss.

Tohru was too innocent.

'I think she'd sleep with you if you asked.'

"I don't want to," I whispered indifferently, the lie so incredibly obvious it was almost funny.

At that moment, something moved by the sliding door that hid Tohru from me, and my eyes caught the edge of the movement; barely anything more tangible than if the shadows themselves had slid back into place where something had just been.

I shook my head, a small, awkward movement against my pillow.

"Not again," I whispered.

Again.

I rose in near-silence, the only sound the soft sigh of the sheets as they slid back onto the bed, and the floor felt cool against the soles of my bare feet.

I didn't bother to put a shirt on, or smooth my scruffy hair. I only wanted to see her. I just wanted to be sure she was still okay before I went back to sleep.

The door slid open with minimal noise, and the room beyond was quiet and peaceful.

My gaze went unhesitatingly to Tohru's bed, but it was empty, the covers moved aside and slightly rumpled. Alarmed, I glanced around the shadowy room, until a small sighing sound fixed my attention on a small figure curled up by the window, almost invisible in the darkness beneath the sill.

Tohru sat back against the wall, her knees up against her chest, arms encircling herself- defensively or comfortably, I didn't know- and her head was tilted back so that she could gaze uninhibited up at the night sky beyond the glass.

I hesitated, uncertain if she was sleepwalking again or simply lost in a world of her own, and hadn't noticed me enter.

She looked so peaceful, sat curled up there beneath the window, the moonlight just brushing the top of her head, but to me, there was a sense of loneliness, too: the distant look in her eyes, silvered by the tentative light of the half-clouded night sky, and the moonlight-limned window, perfectly clear but for a hint of frost at the corners; tiny, intricate patterns of barely-visible ice.

"Tohru-kun?" I said softly, venturing closer to her. She didn't move.

I moved closer still, and dropped carefully to a crouch beside her, leaning over to gaze into her face. She didn't seem to register my presence at all.

I watched her with concern for a few seconds, before she suddenly shook her head slightly, a slow, unhappy movement, especially when combined with the anxious expression that had crept over her face.

I reached for her hand, but she moved, a slightly fretful, nervous action, getting up and pausing there, stood by the window, swaying ever so slightly, as if unable to find her balance properly. I got up, too, but she still hadn't noticed me, her gaze fixed on the highest stars outside.

"Tohru," I said again, but she didn't hear.

Her arms lifted and her hands reached mechanically for the clasps on the window, undoing them and then pushing the glass slowly until the window was wide open.

Her hands came to rest on the sill, and the air that poured in was chill and unforgiving, sweeping over my bared skin with a swift satisfaction. I shivered, but moved closer to Tohru, leaning into her gently, her back warm against my chest and stomach. I closed my eyes for a moment, before whispering into her sweet-smelling hair, "What are you doing, Tohru?"

She moved her lips as if speaking, but I couldn't hear what she said, no more than the last few words, a whispered, "-so sad."

It made something inside me hurt, the way she said it.

"Is it you who's sad, Tohru?" I asked gently, laying a hand carefully over one of hers, protecting it from the cold air outside. She didn't react to the touch.

"No…" she replied, in a hazy, dreamy voice, shaking her head slightly, the movement making her whole body sway a little. I let my body support hers, aligning myself against her back and trying not too inhale too deeply, afraid I was losing the battle before it had even started.

"…Yuki's sad."

My eyes flicked open, wide, and I stared into Tohru's hair, suddenly lost and unsettled.

"Where is he?" I asked carefully, just about managing to keep my voice to a whisper.

"He's…" She turned her head to look straight through me, but her searching eyes didn't seem to find anything, and her sentence went unfinished.

I was already lost.

Turning her head had brought our faces inches from each other, and her lips, slightly parted, caught and held my attention, and I could feel everything inside me yearning to kiss her, just kiss her, she wouldn't even remember it and no one would ever have to know, and her back was so warm against my chest, all my senses full of that soft warmth, and the sweet smell of her skin and hair, and her eyes, and her, just her.

I knew I was leaning closer, and that I was about to do something completely reprehensible, something I'd probably condemn myself for in the morning, but some small part of me wanted it to mean something more, to be different this time. I wanted it to be real and true, not like the rest of my life as I knew it. I wanted her…

"I think she'd kiss you if you wanted her to."

As the cold voice swept through my head, a chill breath of air danced over the back of my neck, and I froze.

Tohru was still looking right through me. She didn't even know I was there.

I was playing right into Akito's hands, and I wasn't the only one who knew it. When I pulled deliberately back, and turned to search the darkness of the room behind us, I wondered if I was imagining it again.

Nothing but shadows and moonlight.

And that sense of something more, again. I could practically feel the silent judgement.

"You're right," I admitted quietly, moving away from Tohru, giving her one last longing look. "For once, I agree with you."

I reached round to close the windows, taking Tohru's hands gently out of the way before I fixed the panes heavily back in place. She didn't resist me when I guided her back to her bed.

As I slid the door shut on temptation, confining myself to my rightful space once more, I heaved a heavy sigh. I wanted to be imagining it, but somehow, I just knew I wasn't. And Tohru's whispered words hung heavily in my thoughts for hours before I finally fell asleep once more.

"Sensei!" The cry outside my door was followed by the thump of someone trying to wrench the door open, finding it locked and losing their balance at the unexpected resistance.

I took a sip of my tea and adjusted my glasses slightly.

"Sensei!" It was more of a yelp that time, quite high-pitched, somewhat distraught. I sniffed, and turned the page of the book I was reading.

"Senseiiiiiiiii!" There was repeated thumping of someone bashing their fist against the wooden frame of the sliding doors. I would have got up to let my shrieking editor in, but I was actually quite unable to- it was really a very interesting book. I took another slow sip of my tea.

"Let me in!"

I yawned, waited a moment, and called back, never taking my eyes off the page, "I can't, I'm getting dressed- it would be indecent of me to let you in when I'm naked." I scratched at my cheek absently.

There was a short silence.

"Are you tricking me again?" came a small voice.

I smiled to myself, reading on.

"Why would I ever trick you? You're my wonderful, caring editor who comes to visit me even when I haven't written anything for weeks." I shuffled down a little bit in my chair, finding a slightly more comfortable position.

There was another small silence.

"Does that mean you still haven't written anything?"

There was a definite trembling of the lower lip behind that tone.

"Dear me, no!" I exclaimed, turning another page.

"Then you have?" she cried hopefully.

"Of course not!"

"SENSEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" She pummelled the door until it rattled, as I calmly put my book and tea down and walked over to the door. When I slid the lock aside and pulled the door open, she lost her balance and stumbled.

"But it's all right, Mi-chan," I told her brightly. She gazed up at me with wide, tear-filled, please-let-this-be-good-news eyes.

"Yes?"

"Yes. Because I'm thinking of giving up writing all together!" I said cheerfully.

She burst into tears. I shut the door.

When I sat down to dinner that night, only Tohru and Momiji were there. I looked at each of them quizzically.

"Where's Kyou?" I asked, noticing there was only food for three, as well. It wasn't unusual for Hatori to be absent- he ate with others rarely, and worked late often. But Kyou always ate with us.

Tohru poured some water for me, and I smiled a thanks at her. Momiji, bouncing a little as he reached for his chopsticks, said enthusiastically, "Oh yes, because Kyou's away tonight, you know? And Haru's gone with him!"

"Haru did?" I echoed, raising an eyebrow.

"Nn, because they're training, you know? They used to train together a lot when they were kids, didn't they?"

Couldn't really argue with that, I supposed.

Tohru seated herself. "Please, help yourself to the food- it'll get cold otherwise," she said politely.

"Yep!" Momiji beamed as he reached for the fish.

I looked over his head at Tohru, catching a brief expression of sadness on her face, quickly hidden as she ducked her head to sip her water.

"But you know," Momiji continued, his voice softer and his smile more subdued, "They probably need each other a little, now that Yuki's gone. They'd be sad if they had no one to practise with."

I blinked, and glanced at Tohru again, but her face was still hidden. "Kyou only picked fights with Yuki, Momiji. I wouldn't class that as practise."

Momiji turned his head slightly to look at me, and the small smile was a knowing one, his eyes seeming to pity me for realising so little so late.

"He got stronger, didn't he?" he reasoned, voice quiet. "Yuki taught Kyou an awful lot. Maybe they liked that it only looked like fighting. Maybe it was only fighting at first, right? But I think," he added, looking away, gazing up at the ceiling, "I think they helped each other a lot with their fighting."

I remembered, abruptly, finding Kyou alone in his room exercising that day, the music so loud it must have blocked out any thoughts other than the drills from his mind. I wondered what exactly he was trying to block out, and I knew it had a lot to do with that one-sided conversation in Yuki's room that night, which seemed so long ago, now.

Tohru lifted her head, the movement catching my eye and bringing me back from my thoughts. There was the faint glimmer of tears in her eyes, yet she had the sweetest smile on her face.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Tohru! I made you cry!" the rabbit exclaimed, reaching for Tohru hesitantly as if unsure what to do.

Tohru shook her head. "I just thought you were right," she said, the slightest wobble in her voice. She glanced at me over Momiji's head as he bounced anxiously, and when I smiled gently at her, her smile widened, just one moment of connection, until she looked away.

It seemed that was all we had- just those moments, and everything was sad and tired between each one, but I didn't mind it. We had nothing spectacular or exciting, nothing anyone else would remember or even notice. What we had was simple and small, but I'd learnt to live for it.

If I could have done it without Momiji noticing, I would have reached for Tohru's hand, and just held it for a while. As it was, I just smiled and waited for the next moment.