This is Part 3 of You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This, please see Part 1 for the relevant background information. To refresh your memory, Carol returned to Chicago after a long time away, and caught up with both Susan and Doug. This piece starts on Thursday, several days after Part 2 ended, or 5 December.

As always, thanks go to Jo for being a loyal beta reader, Lori for her feedback on the Mark/Carol/Ella scene, and my LJ ER Fic Filter for all your suggestions. Also, thanks to everyone for the information I needed. Characters, etc, not mine, no money. Sheila is Mark's secretary, Michelle is Elizabeth's and Cathy is the nursing supervisor.

Mail me with any questions or comments that you may have.

You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This: Part 3 - Back to County

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As Carol walked through the doors of County for the first time since she'd left more than eight years ago, she was surprised by the butterflies in her stomach. She'd deliberately not used the ER entrance as she wasn't ready to see everyone yet, but was still worried about who she might run into in the halls.

As far as she knew, the secret was safe. The head of nursing, although new, acknowledged County's need for a strong nurse in the ER and was pleased by the recommendations of Doug, Susan and the former Head of Nursing, who remembered Carol very well. The meeting with Mark wasn't a requirement, but he liked to meet new hires, just to make the process official. His secretary had been advised of the plan, so she didn't question it when Carol called for an appointment and gave only her first name and the appointment was at 1 PM on Thursday.

Carol walked into Mark's secretary's office and Sheila asked, 'May I help you?'

'My name is Carol. I'm here for a 1 PM appointment with Dr. Greene.'

'Oh, of course. Please take a seat and I'll let him know you're here.'

Carol sat and looked around the room, thinking more about how much had changed since she'd left. When she'd moved away, Mark was an ER Resident whose wife was trying to get him into private practice, and now he was remarried, had a baby girl, and was Chief of Staff.

When Carol heard the door to Mark's inner office open, she quickly turned in that direction just in time to catch the look of surprise on Mark's face. 'Surprised?' she asked with a laugh as she stood to greet him.

'Doesn't begin to cover it,' Mark said, giving her a hug. Carol tensed, but not as much as she had in the past, and Mark didn't notice. 'Did I miss something? When did you come back to Chicago?' he asked, as they walked into his office.

'It was a surprise to everyone, I got back last week.'

'Welcome back. When the nursing supervisor called and told me she'd met with a new candidate and said the name was Carol, I thought of you and realised how long it had been since we were in touch. But, I never thought it would be you.'

'Well that was the point. Susan says to tell you gotcha'

'She got me good,' Mark admitted. 'But this is one I didn't mind. Who else was in on it?'

'Just Doug. It was their idea to surprise you. And then we filled in your secretary and the nursing supervisor just so they wouldn't give anything away.'

'I figured it would be their idea. Is this why the supervisor was insisting that I had to meet you?'

'I didn't know she was.'

'Yeah. I've been busy this week because I just came back from vacation and I wasn't sure I'd have time to meet you. I told her I trusted her decision for the new hire and would meet you when you started, but she insisted that we meet.'

'I'm sorry to have made things more complicated for you.'

'No, no,' Mark said, 'I'm so excited to see you. Tell me, what have you been doing?'

'Not much. Working as a nurse in Massachusetts where we lived. That's about all. How about you?'

'Well, I told you about Ella, right?'

'Yes, and you sent me a photo last Christmas. She's beautiful.'

'And she's grown so much since then,' Mark said, turning around one of the photos on his desk so Carol could see it. 'This was taken about two weeks ago.'

'She looks so much like you.' Unable to resist, Carol added, 'But she already has more hair.'

'Don't you know the rule?' Mark asked, 'No picking on me in the first ten minutes of a conversation.'

'All these new rules. How will I ever learn?'

'You will. Since we really don't need to have this meeting, would you like to meet Elizabeth if she's in her office? And then we could go to the day care and you could meet Ella if you'd like.'

'I'd love to,' Carol said. 'I'm so sorry I couldn't make it in for the wedding.'

'I understood,' Mark said, although he had been shocked when Carol had said she wouldn't be coming. 'Doctors schedules can be like that.'

'Oh, oh yes,' Carol said, remembering the excuse she'd given, that Tag had been unable to get time off.

Mark noticed her hesitation, but decided not to say anything about it. Instead, he asked, 'Will Tag be coming back to County as well?'

'No,' Carol said.

'Mercy, then? Or has he gone into private practice by now?'

'He's still in Massachusetts.'

'Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know.'

'It's OK, I didn't expect you to.'

'Well I'm glad you came back to Chicago, with or without him.' As they walked out the door Mark said to Sheila, 'I'll be back in a little while.'

'OK,'

As they waited for the elevator, Mark said, 'Did you want to start this week or next?'

'Cathy had asked if I could start tomorrow since someone is taking their vacation starting then.'

'Ahh OK, she didn't tell me that. Or if she did, I forgot.'

As they walked to Elizabeth's office, Mark asked Michelle, 'Is Elizabeth in?'

'Yes, she just got out of a meeting.'

'OK, thanks', Mark said, walking to knock on the inner door before opening it. Elizabeth looked up as they walked in. She vaguely recognised the woman with Mark but couldn't place where she knew her from. 'Elizabeth, I'd like you to finally meet Carol Hathaway. You've both heard so much about each other so Elizabeth Carol, Carol Elizabeth.'

'Pleasure to finally meet you,' Elizabeth said, coming around her desk to shake Carol's hand.

'Same here. I was just saying to Mark, Ella is beautiful.'

'Thank you. You guys came from the day care?'

'No, not yet,' Mark said. 'But we were going to head there. Have you been up there yet today?'

'No,' Elizabeth said, sighing. 'I've been in one meeting after another all morning and then am scheduled to scrub in for an appendectomy in ten minutes.'

'I forgot today was a full day for you. We'll let you go so you can have a few minutes peace. I just wanted to introduce you two.'

'I'm glad you stopped by. Carol, are you in Chicago for a few days? I'd love for the three of us to have the chance for a coffee or dinner.'

Carol laughed and said, 'I'll actually be working here, down in the ER so we'll have plenty of time. And I'd like that as well. I'm staying with Susan for the time being so I assume both of you will know how to reach me there?'

'Yes,' Elizabeth said. 'And welcome, or welcome back to County.'

'Thank you.'

Mark asked, 'Are you off at 5 or 5:30?'

'5:30'

'OK, I'm off at 5 so I'll collect Ella and then we'll meet you up here.'

'Great.'

Mark and Carol walked down to the day care centre and Carol said, 'That must make it nice and convenient to work in the same place. Do you often have the same schedules?'

'One of the perks of being Chiefs of Staff and Surgery,' Mark said, grinning. 'We try to match up as best as possible so we can have time at home with Ella but occasionally we're on opposite shifts. That can come in handy though, if Ella is sick or if the day care is closed.'

'I can imagine it would. I like Elizabeth, she seems really nice.'

'Thanks.'

They'd arrived at the day care and Mark paused outside the door, just to watch Ella before walking in and breaking her concentration. Ella was sitting on the edge of the carpet, holding on to her stuffed rabbit with one hand, and a book in the other. 'How old is she now?' Carol asked.

'Almost 19 months.'

Mark opened the door and nodded to the staff as they walked in. 'Ella,' he called softly, so as not to startle her.

'Daddy,' she squealed, dropping her book and toy and running over. Spotting Carol and suddenly growing shy she asked, 'Who's that?'

Carol knelt down to her level and Mark said, 'This is Daddy's friend Carol. Can you say hi?'

'Hi,' Ella said softly, peeking out from behind Mark's legs.

'Hi,' Carol said softly. 'Does your bunny have a name?'

'Bugs'

'Great name. Does Bugs like to read too?'

'He doesn't know how, he's too little.'

'Can you teach him?'

'Maybe,' Ella said, smiling. Turning to Mark, she asked, 'Are we going home?'

'Not yet, mommy and I still have to work.'

'OK,'

'I just wanted to come up and say hi to you.'

'Can I go back and play?'

'Sure,' Mark said, giving her a kiss. 'Can you say goodbye to Carol?'

'Bye Ca-uhl'

Carol smiled, 'Bye Ella'

As Mark and Carol walked back towards his office, Carol said, 'She is adorable.'

'Yeah, I think so,' Mark grinned. 'So about what Elizabeth said, would you be interested in having dinner with us one evening? We can either get a sitter for Ella and go to a restaurant or have dinner at our house after she's gone to bed.'

'Sure, I'd like that. Eating at your place is fine so you don't have to go through the trouble of finding a sitter.' With a laugh, she added, 'And Susan gives me kitchen privileges so I can bring something as well.'

'How long have you been staying at Susan's?'

'I got back to Chicago last Thursday and we met for dinner. She invited me to stay with her immediately, she didn't want me to stay in a hotel.'

'You even considered staying in a hotel?'

'Yeah, I came back somewhat unexpectedly and wasn't really sure who I'd catch up with or when. To be honest I've been really bad about keeping in touch with everyone and I wasn't even sure who was still in Chicago. You're not listed, Doug's number from information is out of service, but I reached Susan.'

'We should be listed,' Mark said. 'We moved about six weeks ago and I didn't think it would take that long to get listed with information. At any rate,' Mark said, jotting down a number on a piece of paper. 'Here are the numbers for the house and my cell.'

'Thanks,' Carol said, tucking the paper into her purse.

'Do you want me to keep my ears open if I hear of any apartments? Or have you found a place already?'

Carol thought a moment before answering. 'If you hear of anything, please let me know. I may need to work for a bit before I can move in though.'

'OK, I'll still keep my ears open. If there is anything else you need,' Mark started, but then hesitated, not wanting to offend Carol.

'Thank you, I really appreciate everyone's help since I've been back. I never could have expected anything like this after so little contact in the past few years.'

'That's what friends are for,' Mark said, seriously. 'I knew that you'd contact us when you could. I was worried though.'

The story had gotten a bit easier to tell in the past week, but since they were at the hospital, Carol still planned to tell only the edited version. 'Do you have a few minutes?'

'Sure,' Mark said, sitting in the chair next to Carol.

Nervously, twirling the pen, Carol told Mark a brief account of what had happened. She left out most of the details, including any mention of the rape, but by the end of her story Mark, like Susan and Doug, wanted to hurt Tag. 'I am so sorry to hear all you have been through,' Mark said, offering a hug. 'If you hear any news of Tag being in Chicago, please let me know. I have some friends on Chicago PD who can probably help.'

'I will, thank you. The threat of Tag is part of the reason I'm cautious about looking for a place to live. I'm going to see if I can find somewhere that has some form of security, whether a doorman or something else.'

'That's a smart decision. Are you travelling alone on the El?'

'Yes, but I'm not worried about that. As of now, I know he's still in Massachusetts. I called the hospital yesterday and he is still working and hasn't been absent. If I find that he has left, or may be in Chicago, then I won't. I'm honestly not sure he'd think that I'd come back to Chicago, and I've warned the managers of the facility where my mother is living.'

'And we can notify security here as well. If you have a recent photo we can have it posted in the security booth.'

'I'll see what I can do about a photo, I didn't bring any with me,' Carol admitted.

'Don't worry about it if you can't, even the older photo on file here at the hospital would probably give a good enough idea to security.'

Just then Mark's intercom went off. 'Yes?'

'Your 3 PM is here.'

Carol glanced at her watch, shocked. 'I never meant to keep you this long.'

'Don't worry about it,' Mark said. 'I enjoyed the chance to catch up. I'll be in touch with you about dinner, and I'll come down to see you at work tomorrow. I'm glad you're back.'

'Thank you,' Carol said.

Susan got off work at 7. When she left the hospital, she'd called the house to see if Carol wanted her to pick up anything for dinner. She was surprised when there was no answer, but thought that maybe Carol had run out, or was in the shower.

She arrived home around 7:30, and the house was quiet, although there were a few lights on, a sign that Carol had been home after dark. She was walking back towards her bedroom when she noticed the guestroom door was closed, but a light showed under the door. Knocking softly, she asked, 'Carol, are you home?'

She didn't get an answer, but heard water running from the bathroom, and knocked again, this time a bit more loudly. Finally realising that Carol wasn't going to hear her with the water running, she went back to her bedroom to change.

Meanwhile in the guestroom's bathroom, Carol was rinsing her face. She'd thought Susan was working until 9 or so, and hadn't heard the phone ring earlier, so she'd had no advance warning. She was upset, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle on her own, and didn't want to keep burdening Susan with her situation. She made a vow to herself that she would work through this part on her own.

A few minutes later, Susan walked back past the guest room and knocked again. 'Come in,' she heard Carol say this time. Carol took one look at her when she opened the door and asked, 'What's the matter?'

'Long day,' Susan said, sitting on the bed.

'What happened? You're home earlier than I thought you would be.'

'I wasn't feeling great. How did your meeting with Mark go? Was he surprised?'

'Yes, very, and we had a nice lunch. I met Ella and Elizabeth as well. But we can talk about that later. What's the matter, are you sick?' Carol asked, concerned, as she put her arm around Susan.

'Not really sick. I just have a bad migraine and it wasn't helped by the mountain of paperwork so I said enough was enough and came home.'

'Good idea, it would have only gotten worse. Why don't you go lie down and I'll bring you some water to keep by your bed.'

'Thanks,' Susan said, standing slowly. 'I had thought about picking up dinner but I honestly didn't feel up to stopping.'

'That's OK, I'm really not that hungry. Do you want soup or anything?'

'I'm not sure I could hold it down,' Susan said, lying down.

Carol pulled up the sheet and blanket and said, 'I'll be right back.'

She returned a few minutes later, and after putting the glass on Susan's nightstand, she pulled Susan's desk chair over next to the bed. 'Thanks, you don't have to stay with me.'

'I'll stay until you fall asleep, in case you need anything,' Carol said, switching off the light.

'Did Mark tell you when you start?'

'Tomorrow at 7:30.'

'I'm on at three, so I'll see you there.'

'Great. I look forward to working with you again. Thank you for getting me the job.'

'You got yourself the job. I just told you about it,' Susan said with a slight smile.

Carol was in the lounge at the end of her lunch break, putting some things into her locker. She heard the door open, but didn't pay much attention at first; people had been in and out all day. When she turned around, the other person was pouring herself a cup of coffee. 'It still tastes like mud, even all these years later,' she said, smiling.

Haleh slowly turned around, unable to believe the voice she was hearing. 'Carol!' she said, excitedly. You...You're the new nurse!?'

'That's the rumour I've heard all day.'

'Welcome back, girl,' Haleh said, walking over to give Carol a hug. 'We heard these horror stories of the new nurse. We were worried.'

'And you don't think you have to worry with me?'

'At least I know you. There are no worries of breaking in a new nurse. But tell me, where have you been?'

'Massachusetts is the short version. The long version will have to wait as my lunch is over in two minutes.'

'OK, I'm just glad you're back.'

A little past 4:30, Carol was in the lounge getting ready to leave when Doug came in. 'Did you survive?'

'Yeah, it was a good day, not too crazy but enough to keep me busy. I thought you were off?'

'I am, but Susan called me a little while ago. She needed a refill on her Compazine prescription so I came in to get it filled.'

'OK, thanks. I can take it home to her.'

'I was also wondering, after we check on Susan, did you want to go for drinks to celebrate your first day?'

'That sounds like a good idea, but if Susan is in really bad shape, I'm not sure I'll want to leave her alone again. So maybe we could get take out, or find something at the house?'

'Oh, of course. I didn't realise she was that sick. When she called she just told me she needed a refill.'

'She was pretty sick last night. I peeked in on her this morning, but I didn't want to wake her.'

Doug and Carol walked quietly into the house, not wanting to wake Susan. Carol was surprised to see the bed empty, until she noticed the bathroom door was partially shut. Heading to the closet, Doug said, 'I'm not sure she'll want me to see her if she's that sick. Why don't you check on her and I'll put fresh sheets on the bed?'

'OK,' Carol said, knocking softly on the bathroom door. 'Sus, it's me. Can I come in?' She barely heard Susan's soft reply, and opened the door. Susan's bathroom had an outer room with a counter and 2 sinks, which led to an inner room with the toilet and shower. Susan was in the inner room, leaning against the shower door. Her face was very pale, and Carol could tell that she'd been crying. Rushing to Susan's side, she crouched down and put an arm around her shoulders.

'I feel so sick,' Susan said, almost inaudibly.

'Is it the migraine, or something else?'

'Horrible migraine, nausea, no sleep,' Susan said, her voice shaking as she fought the tears.

Carol rubbed Susan's back gently. After a few moments, she reached for a washcloth off the shelf, wet it, and gently wiped Susan's face. 'Do you want to change?'

'OK'

'I'll be right back.'

Carol walked out to get a fresh pair of PJs and Doug, who was just finishing the bed, asked, 'How is she?'

'Not good.' As she chose a nightshirt she added, 'We'll be right out.'

After Carol helped Susan change she asked, 'Can you stand?'

'I don't know,' Susan admitted. 'I'm very light headed from dehydration.'

'I'll help you.'

'NO!' Susan said, more sharply than she meant. 'I'm sorry, but not with your back. I don't want you to aggravate your injuries.'

'It's OK, you're probably right. Doug is here, do you want me to ask him to help?'

'Please'

Carol walked out to the bedroom and said, 'She's too dizzy to stand. Can you help her?'

'Sure.' Doug walked in to Susan and asked softly, 'Are you ready?'

She nodded, extending an arm. To her surprise, Doug put his hands under her arms and slowly, gently, lifted her to her feet. She was still unsteady so Doug then lifted her into his arms. 'Thanks,' he heard her say softly.

'You're welcome,' he said as he gently lay her down in bed.

As Carol gave Susan the meds, she said, 'Try to relax.'

'I am, thank you both so much. I'm glad compazine causes drowsiness, I'm going to try and sleep.'

'How much did you sleep last night?'

'Not much, I kept waking up from the pain.'

'Why didn't you call me?'

'I knew you had to get up early for work.'

'I don't care about that. Tonight, if you need me, please call me?'

'I will,' Susan promised, her eyes closing.

'OK, I'll let you rest. Doug and I will be here. If you need anything, you don't have to yell for us, just call Doug's cell.'

'OK, thanks. You should check for messages on the machine. I turned off the ringer.'

'OK, I will,' Carol said, tucking the blankets around Susan before she left. She walked into the kitchen where Doug was and said, 'I don't want to leave her.'

'Nor do I. I spied leftovers of Susan's chicken casserole that I love so I'd be more than happy with that.'

'I've never had it, but it sounds good,' Carol said, as she played messages on the answering machine. As one of the messages played, she wished she could sink through the floor and disappear. She stopped it mid message, and immediately opened the fridge, pretending to look for something so that Doug wouldn't see the tears that were threatening to spill over.

She couldn't do that forever, and when she turned around, Doug was standing there, patiently waiting. 'I don't deserve this,' Carol thought to herself. Doug cared when he didn't have to. He had no ties to her, yet he wouldn't let her struggle. After so many years of Tag's apathy, Carol wasn't sure how to react, but her instinct took over and she went to Doug. Now that he knew about the ribs, he put his arms around her gently and she barely tensed at all. 'I'm sorry,' she said through the tears.

'Don't be,' he said, lightly rubbing her back.

5 minutes later, they were sitting at the table, having decided that dinner could wait. 'How much of the story do you want to know?'

'Whatever you feel comfortable telling me. I have until 7 AM tomorrow so there is no rush.'

'Is that when you're on?'

'No, I'm on at 8, but I need to go home to shower and change,' Doug said, grinning.

'My lawyer called last night. He'd had Tag served with the divorce papers late last week. Yesterday he got the papers showing Tag's counter suit.'

'You didn't expect that?'

'No. I mean, I knew he could, I just didn't think he would.'

'On what grounds did he file?'

'Adultery,' Carol said, spitting out the word as if it tasted bad. 'I never, NEVER cheated on him,' Carol said, growing angrier the more she thought about it.

'He'd have to prove it. You have nothing to worry about.'

'That's what I'd hoped, but my lawyer is an incompetent bastard. He doesn't want me to fight it, as you heard.'

'That's just asinine. Why would he even suggest that?'

'I don't know. I'm just so angry and frustrated.'

'I don't blame you, I would be as well.'

'I need to find a new lawyer.'

'I'll speak with mine and see who he can recommend for divorces.'

'Thank you, and thank you for earlier.'

'Not a problem. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to come to me.'

'I just went with my gut. I know you'd never hurt me. I was just afraid but I've got to break through the fear if I'm going to have a life. I trust you, I always have. I just needed to allow myself to listen to the trust and not the fear.'

'I'm proud of you.'

'Thanks.

-20 February 2003

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