Explaining Things

Disclaimer: These are all Joss's people, I just let them play in my little world. As long as they leave the pocket lint alone it's all good. I found some! In my black leather jacket of all places.

Summary: Spike vents yet again but who's the target this time?

Reviews: Oh yes. Please. Craving warm fuzzies. Muse love reviews. You guys all ROCK!

A/N: This chapter may come off as a little boring and it is woefully short but they just didn't want to go any farther. Spike wasn't joking when he said he still had issues. I just didn't realize who they were with until he was in mid rant. For those who are missing Tara, she will be making her appearance shortly. I haven't forgotten about her, she's going to play a big role soon. Anya isn't back from D'Hoffryn yet. Don't know if she'll come back and play or not. She hasn't decided.

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Spike made his way to the alley next to the Bronz and leaned against the wall waiting for the shaking to stop. He fumbled for a cigarette and cursed softly when he realized he'd left his duster inside. He made it appear and got out the much needed smoke, cursing again when he couldn't get the lighter to work, finally resorting to magic to get the smoke lit. Thumping his head against the brick wall, he heaved a huge sigh. He was such a ponce. He couldn't even dance with the girl without loosing it. Flicking his spent cigarette into the darkness he took off for the nearest cemetery. He felt a serious need for some violence.

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Back inside the Bronz, instead of taking Buffy back to the table, Xander led her into a dance. He held her close to give her time to compose herself. She looked up at him gratefully as they swayed to the music.

A sniffle escaped as he glanced down at her. "Are you okay? What did he say that made you cry?" Xander asked curiously.

"He said that he still loved me." She sniffled again. "But he couldn't go back to what we had. Not that I wanted to go back to that, it was wrong and destructful."

"No kidding." Xander muttered.

She glanced up at him. "What did you say?" She asked.

"Nothing." He evaded. "Buffy?" He asked.

"What?"

"Did you ever love Spike?" Xander questioned.

She was silent. He put a finger under her chin and forced her to meet his eyes. "Buffy. Do you love Spike?" He asked again.

"I don't know. I have feelings for him. But I don't know if it's love." She said. "How can you tell? How do you know when you truly love someone? I loved Angel. I think I still do but I don't want to be with him, you know, WITH him. I thought I loved Reilly but when he came back all married, I wasn't as hurt as I thought I should be and I kinda took it out on Spike. I know he loved me, Spike that is, but I couldn't let myself love him back. I couldn't stand the thought that he could hurt me. That he could break my heart, but I think I broke it all by myself by being so awful to him. I was sorry for what I'd done after he left but by then it was too late and he was already gone. Just like all the others. I thought that if I kept him at an emotional distance that it would hurt less when he finally left. But it hurt more."

Xander studied her for a minute. "I don't understand why you beat him up so much."

She looked ashamed. "Because he said he tried not to love me. That he didn't want those feelings. Like loving me was so horrible he couldn't wait not to. But I told him to try harder. I told him he was an evil disgusting thing that I could never love. I'm not even sure I meant it. I tried to continue to believe he couldn't love, that he had no feelings." She said softly. "After he was gone, I missed him so much. I shut out everyone because it hurt more than it was supposed to. Is that love?" She gazed up at him with teary green eyes.

"I think so Buffy. I think so." Xander held her close.

The dance ended and they went back to the table. Angel and Giles wanted to question Buffy about her conversation with Spike but one look from Xander stalled their efforts before they could start.

Fred raised her hand shyly. "I have a question. Um... Xander? How did you know what to order for Spike? I've been wondering 'cause you did it before he got here. How did you know?"

Xander glanced around at his companions. Buffy, Cordy, Wes, Gunn and Willow looked curious. Dawn, Giles and Angel knew but seemed to be waiting for Xander to try to explain. Fred just waited patiently for her answer.

He cleared his throat. "Well, see, Willow is a witch and her magic allows her to telepathically communicate with other people. Spike, being a wizard, can do the same thing. He contacted me to find out where we were and when I told him, he asked me to order for him." He explained.

Fred smiled widely. "That's so cool. I never knew anyone who could do that."

Cordy yawned and grimaced. "It's been a really long day. I'm not used to all this kidnapping and stuff so I want to go to the motel and sleep til noon."

Everyone was agreeing with her when Dawn noticed that Spike hadn't come back to the table. She also noticed his duster was gone. "Xander?"

"Yeah, Dawnie?"

"Where's Spike?" She asked.

"He said he needed a little break and that he'd be back but that was quite awhile ago. So I don't know where he went. I know he went outside. But I thought he'd be back by now." Xander was starting to babble, as he tends to do when all attention is on him, which it was, again.

Dawn sat back and opened her link to Spike. 'Spike?' She could hear sounds of fighting as he answered.

'Niblet, can't talk right now. Nest of vamps. Having some fun. See you soon.' He closed the link before she could get in another thought.

Her pale face attracted Angel's attention. "What's wrong?"

"Spike's patrolling. He said he found a nest of vamps and that he was having some fun. But it didn't sound like fun to me. I think he needs help." Dawn told them. With that, most of the males started throwing money on the table to cover the check and the tip. Once everyone was outside Angel started issuing orders.

"Wes, you and Giles take Willow, Cordy, Dawn and Fred back to Buffy's house. Gunn, Xander, Buffy... come with me." He instructed.

Willow objected. "Let me come. I can use magic to help."

Buffy shook her head. "No, I need you safe. If we need magic we'll have Spike." She was checking for stakes as she spoke so she missed the look of anger on Willow's face. Giles noticed and worried.

Angel used his heightened senses to locate his wayward Childe. They found him in the middle of an all out battle with about fifteen vampires. Angel could tell that not all of them were fledglings and he felt a surge of anger at his stubborn Childe. They waded in and began dusting.

Spike landed a roundhouse kick to a skinny vamp sneaking up on him as he staked another one to his left. His senses registered Angel's presence about a second before he saw him, Buffy, Xander and Gunn start working on the perimeter of the group. Damn, he'd been having fun. But as he could see, he'd been seriously outnumbered. In another few minutes he would have had to resort to magic to keep from being dust himself. He shook off a fledge trying to attack him from behind as he noticed another one sidling up behind Xander.

"Harris! Duck!" He yelled as he sent a stake that way. Xander didn't hesitate; he dove just as the stake found its mark and the vampire exploded in a cloud of dust. Xander picked up the stake and shoved it into the chest of yet another vamp determined to make a snack out of him. In minutes the battle was over and the five of them were standing in the middle of multiple piles of dust. Gunn and Xander had each taken out two vamps with Buffy, Angel and Spike taking care of the rest. Angel, still in game face, grabbed Spike around the neck and shook him.

"What were you thinking?" He yelled.

Spike vanished from Angel's hold, reappearing directly behind the older vampire. "I was just thinking that I would have to use a little magic to take care of them, but thanks for the help. What? Now you think I can't take care of myself? That I'm too dumb to realize when I need to resort to magic? You think I can't deal with a few fledges? Thanks for the vote of confidence, Peaches." He stomped off to lean on a tombstone and light a cigarette.

"Dawn was afraid you'd get hurt." Buffy told the blond vampire.

"I'm fine." He grumbled. "I was doing all right. Would have incinerated the little wankers in just a couple of minutes. Just needed to get in a little violence is all."

Angel walked over to Spike. "I keep forgetting about the magic. But you should have told us you were going to patrol."

Spike flung his cigarette away. "What? Now I have to report to you if I want to kill something? Oh, I don't think so. I haven't had to tell you anything in almost a hundred years. Ever since you got your sodding soul and went all broody. You abandoned us. You left me to take care of Dru all by myself and I did it. Did a damn good job of it too. But for every minute of those hundred years all Dru wanted was her 'Daddy'. You know, I'm getting really tired of being second best. Nothing I've ever done is good enough. Not for you, not for Dru and certainly not for Buffy. I'm sick of being the substitute for you. Even Buffy, every minute she was with me, she was wishing it was you. So sod off Angel. I don't need you. Just go back to LA and brood because you can't have the slayer without losing you're precious soul. I love her without a bleeding soul, can you?" He vanished back to his crypt leaving behind a shocked Sire, a teary slayer and two embarrassed humans who were wishing they were anywhere else.